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Mark Warburton Does Mastermind!

Host:     And your name is?

MW:      Mark Warburton


Host:     Occupation?

MW:      Football manager


Host:     Specialist topic?

MW:      Making excuses and talking any old made up shit. Fairytales is also a favourite of mine.


Host:     Your questions start now….


Host:     If someone starts a sentence with “I don’t like making excuses” what will they traditionally follow that up with?

MW:      An excuse

Host:     Correct


Host:     If a clubs under 20 team is 8th in the league table and 25 points behind the team at the top what is the best course of action a) Get new coaches in to fix it or b) Scout and coach better youth players?

MW:      Disband the league altogether

Host:     Correct


Host:     A footballer is injured after falling heavily. What do you do?

MW:      Blame the pitch

Host:     Correct


Host:     Finish the sentence. Weebles wobble but they don’t…

MW:      Wibble

Host:     Correct


Host:     A team plays badly. What is a manager’s next immediate course of action?

MW:      Get Chris Jack to write a positive article about the manager

Host:     Correct


Host:     Who would win, Rangers or Sevco?

MW:      Wibble

Host:     Correct


Host:     Where is Dave King’s warchest located?

MW:      Inside Mr Struth’s bowler hat

Host:     Correct


Host:     Narrowing a football pitch is the same as?

MW:      Changing the size of the goals

Host:     Correct


Host:     Finish the song. “Same old Alloa…”

MW:      “Always cheatin”

Host:     Correct


Host:     Your team loses 3-1 at home to St Johnstone. What does the manager do next?

MW:      I was a city of London market trader

Host:     Correct


Host:     Finish this sentence. I comes before E except after…

MW:      C

Host:     Incorrect. The answer was any other letter in the alphabet

MW:      Blast. I’m using my Level 5 joker card

Host:     Correct


Host:     What’s the biggest hurdle in football?

MW:      Paul Murray’s hair

Host:     Correct


Host:     The SFA want to speak to your club about one of your player’s transgressions. What is the next course of action?

MW:      Would never happen

Host:     Correct


Host:     Describe Alan Stubbs in a word?

MW:      Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh!

Host:     Correct


Host:     You are driving your car and fail to notice an object running across the road. After hitting the Cat what do you do?

MW:      Blame Kilmarnock’s pitch

Host:     Correct


Host:     You want to abandon…BEEP…BEEP…BEEP. I’ve started so I’ll finish… You want to abandon the under 20 league but also want to play in the Champions League youth tournament. How do you get round this?

MW:      Wibble

Host:     Correct


Host:     Mark Warburton you answered all 16 questions correctly on making excuses and talking any old made up shit. Well done.

MW:      Yay…wibbly wobbly wubbly

Host:     The quiz is over please go…just go you annoying fart.

MW:      (looks down with sad face) Wobble.

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6 years ago

ha ha imagine saying that about his warbiness

And not even a mention of his magnificent magical hat

Honest Hoops
6 years ago

Great stuff, the Paul Murray hair question was genius, but all true by the way!!!

6 years ago

Good fun but obviously made up. There wasn’t one “respectfully” or “with respect” in any of it!

Wisnae me
6 years ago

He did quite well. Might struggle on the general knowledge round though.

6 years ago

Cheers for the laugh, nailed it

6 years ago

Warbmeister could have done better, mibbie he was tired although apparently as a city trader often working from 6am until 11pm in the golden mile of the City of Laaaaaaandan.

Charlie Saiz
6 years ago

CannOT believe the lack of respect shown in the OP.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at