Host: And your name is?
MW: Mark Warburton
MW: Football manager
Host: Specialist topic?
MW: Making excuses and talking any old made up shit. Fairytales is also a favourite of mine.
Host: Your questions start now….
Host: If someone starts a sentence with “I don’t like making excuses” what will they traditionally follow that up with?
MW: An excuse
Host: If a clubs under 20 team is 8th in the league table and 25 points behind the team at the top what is the best course of action a) Get new coaches in to fix it or b) Scout and coach better youth players?
MW: Disband the league altogether
Host: A footballer is injured after falling heavily. What do you do?
MW: Blame the pitch
Host: Finish the sentence. Weebles wobble but they don’t…
Host: A team plays badly. What is a manager’s next immediate course of action?
MW: Get Chris Jack to write a positive article about the manager
Host: Who would win, Rangers or Sevco?
Host: Where is Dave King’s warchest located?
MW: Inside Mr Struth’s bowler hat
Host: Narrowing a football pitch is the same as?
MW: Changing the size of the goals
Host: Finish the song. “Same old Alloa…”
MW: “Always cheatin”
Host: Your team loses 3-1 at home to St Johnstone. What does the manager do next?
MW: I was a city of London market trader
Host: Finish this sentence. I comes before E except after…
Host: Incorrect. The answer was any other letter in the alphabet
MW: Blast. I’m using my Level 5 joker card
Host: What’s the biggest hurdle in football?
MW: Paul Murray’s hair
Host: The SFA want to speak to your club about one of your player’s transgressions. What is the next course of action?
MW: Would never happen
Host: Describe Alan Stubbs in a word?
Host: You are driving your car and fail to notice an object running across the road. After hitting the Cat what do you do?
MW: Blame Kilmarnock’s pitch
Host: You want to abandon…BEEP…BEEP…BEEP. I’ve started so I’ll finish… You want to abandon the under 20 league but also want to play in the Champions League youth tournament. How do you get round this?
Host: Mark Warburton you answered all 16 questions correctly on making excuses and talking any old made up shit. Well done.
MW: Yay…wibbly wobbly wubbly
Host: The quiz is over please go…just go you annoying fart.
MW: (looks down with sad face) Wobble.