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Celtic Diary – 21st August

Celtic have the chance tonight to make huge strides towards the group stages of the Champions League, and with it being four years since the club played on that stage, its about time to put things right.

Lennon will be without Victor Wanyama, who is suspended, Diary favourite Ki Seung Yeung who has chosen Swansea over innumerable suitors, Anthony Stokes, -hang on, it would be quicker to tell you who is playing

Fraser Forster. After that its anybodys guess. Scott Brown, James Forrest and Paddy McCourt are fifty fifty, while Gary Hooper is five ninety five.

Johann Mjalby admitted on SSN yesterday that Ki wanted to move on, although it had been common knowledge for a while. In the press conference a bored looking Neil Lennon looked like he would rather have been anywhere else, but a quick glance at the Ramsden Cup fixtures for tomorrow would have cheered him up a wee bit.

Thomas Rogne should return at the back, perhaps alongside Mikael Lustig and Charlie Mulgrew, with Matthews and Izzaguerra on the flanks. Brown, if fit should join Kayal and Ledley in the middle with Commons supporting Samaras up front.

Henrik Larsson says that Helsing borg have “a big squad and are sound defensively” but refused to say who he was supporting.

Ungrateful Swedish git.

By the way, if anyone wants to take a picture of that statue over there with a scarf around the neck, please do, and we can add it to our collection. Okay, we’ll start a collection.

As if you didn’t know, the game is live on all ITV channels, and the programme is presented by Adrian Chiles, who once did a daytime tv show that no-one watched-I can’t even remember what it was called-despite having Frank Lampards missus on with him.

Chiles will no doubt be at his patronising best, but at least Gordon Strachan will be there to put things right.

So, with Ki Seung Yeung away , and Celtic gaining a sum roughly equivalent to an asset purchase in Govan, will Neil Lennon finally get Jordan Rhodes in? Not according to the Scotsman, he won’t. Celtics debt is , according to them, a massive and insurmountable £7m and the money will go towards paying off the debt, along with any champions League money, and a tax on each working man with an Irish surname.

Okay, a wee bit exaggeration there, but as usual, the paper does have an atmosphere of doom and gloom.

Manager Neil Lennon plays along

“Two weeks ago, I decided to forget about bringing anyone in, and to just concentrate on what we’ve already got.” then he added “We were always going to have to sell one player” before finishing with  “Getting to the Champions League would probably change things in the transfer market for us next year”.

Remind me not to sit next to him in the pub anytime soon.

Perhaps its just a bluff.

Please, just be a bluff.

If the group stages are reached, estimates of the financial worth to the club are between £10 and £20m -which surely could be spent wisely on strengthening.

Now, if that has made you a wee bit down, or perhaps even nervous before tonights game, spare a thought for Charles Green. The owner, we are led to believe, of the new version of Rangers

Ahead of the Ramsdens Cup clash with Rangers tomorrow, favourites Falkirk have suspended their PA man, after he read out the half time scores on Saturday, and referred to Scotlands biggest new club as “The Sevco Franchise”., when he should have said “Dirty cheating tax dodging  bastards”

Charles Green said “We are not allowed to forget what has happened, and I feel I am always the victim of the piece. Every day its one thing after another”

Whatever else you think of the man, he certainly knows how to play to an audience. although to be fair, its not the most difficult audience to pander to. If he ever bursts into a chorus of the Sash they’ll build a statue of him and an awful lot of babies will be called Charles down Larkhall way.

I went to Larkhall once, and a wee boy of about six asked me to get him cigarettes from the shop. I refused, and he said they were for his dad. I mentioned that he should get off his arse and get his own, but the boy said he couldn’t , as he wasn’t eighteen until next March.

Ally McCoist wasn’t bothered about the PA, saying that he “could have his wee dig”, before demanding to know his name. The most talented manager in the world, who is looking to continue his tremendous record in knock out competitions tomorrow, also said he has grown to love. respect and admire Green, which is a shame.

Green is only interested in shafting the club and its supporters. Alllegedly!

Dorin Goian has admitted he has been surprised by the teams he has faced in the Third division, and said he had expected to face “fat amateurs”, which is exactly what all the third division players have said about Rangers.  Goian has went on to tell Spezia in Italy he has no interest in their attempt to take him to Italys Serie B and claims he is happy at Ibrox. We dont speak Romanian but we know ‘Up the wages on offer” when we see it.

The Express has made an early attempt at “Best Made Up Piece” of the year with a claim that an Express Sports Source claims The rangers may reject SPL membership in 3 years time and just stay in the SFL. It seems The Rangers may stay in the SFL and isolate the SPL…well if one club knows about isolation its them. It seems this is a rebuke could be a dazzling display of revenge against the current “Persecution not Punishment” campaign against poor Charlie Greens humble outfit. There’s so many holes in that piece that we wont even bother starting. Utter Witchhunts they claim, well we’re thinking of something that rhymes with hunts thats for sure.

Meanwhile, in England, despite a poor start with Manchester Utd, Robin van Persie has been welcomed by the players there. Ryan Giggs says he will treat him like a brother, after he met the Dutchman’s wife.

Ralph Malph


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