Ralph, Hector and Monty join Desi to wish everyone a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year and also look at the current quandry that is Celtic and wonder where it could all possibly be fixed or end up.
Then its onto the main event…the End of Year Awards.
Awards contested include:
- Shock of the year!
- Balls Up of the Year!
- Most Controversial Opinion!
- Most Improved
- Most Regressed
- Most Missed!
- Top Celeb Celt!
- Top Tim!
- Wank Wank of the Year!
- Good Guy of the Year!
There are some surprising Winners ( possibly Losers depending on which award!)
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Merry Xmas One and all!
Thanks lads – I certainly need something to cheer me up this week, always look forward to your podcasts
There you go, Dave.
Always glad to be of service to a fellow Tim.
😀
Now if ye didn’t get a laugh out of all dat, Dave, I’ll do me best Frank Carson next time!
Begorrah!
🙂
Good stuff again, lads, great to listen to Bhoys that know the game and how to discuss it.
Agreed about the donkey Philips, knew it from his first game, and this project policy has reached the absolute end of the road now, I mean, Kwon, ffs …
To think we ended the Feyenoord game with a front line of Forrest, Oh & Frame, it’s a damning indictment of the board and their parsimonious cvntbag shenanigans.
I only wish my mates could have these discussions without losing their minds and defending the board and their policy.
And I fear they’ll sell O’Riley first chance they get in January and agree we’d be lucky to get 15 million for Kyogo, Desi.
And I wouldn’t blame Rodgers for walking, same as I didn’t blame him last time as I’d seen it coming for months prior as I wrote on here and elsewhere to mass outrage at the time.
It was clear from his body language for a while but especially after the 1-0 Ne’er day loss to the Slippy Huns, as y testimony on ere at the time will testify.
Most worryingly, that was the same body language he displayed last Saturday so Monty makes a very good point that he’s sick fed up wae this pish all over again.
Begging the question, Why DID he come back when nothing had changed from the last time?
I’ve been saying for months that DD is fattening the pig and is aiming for that 100 million in the bank to sell it to the City Group or some other speculative scumbag investor.
Which I’m no sure at this stage if that would be worse than the current dynasty builders, with my worst fear that Desmond sells up and Lawwell is kept on as Chief Advisor.
Guys like Ian Maxwell get these jobs for knowing how to lie through their teeth in public with a big piss sucking grin all over their lying mush.
Most Regressed?
Ralph! 😀
Only joking, mate, just trying to get ye back as you’re much missed.
The Green Brigade!
Top Fvckin Quality, lads.
Some other Celtic Blogs could learn something about what Celtic truly is rather than referring to the board’s position on the ban as ‘Us’ (sic).
Self important board kissing little fud that he is.
Cheers, Bhoys, great to hear yez in fine form once again.
Merry Christmas to you and yours and for providing us with this fine forum down the years.
But could someone have a word with some of the posters regarding basic civility and decency?
Cheers.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Hector/Eddie for manager , knows his football .
Dear God, the level of hared on this site directed towards a fellow Tim is ridiculous.
Why don’t you all go to Follow Follow and empty your bile there towards those who share the same levels as yourselves?
Beyond embarrassing for Celtic supporters to be behaving like this, and at Christmas too …
Wouldn’t your time be better spent catching your local criminals and putting them in stocks in your town square then throwing eggs and vegetables at them if you have so much hatred that you can’t even allow a fellow Tim to comment on a fitba blog?
The saddest thing is that it’s only a few idiots signing in and out again to show how much hatred they have for ol’Gringo.
Everybody else on here is man enough to say to me what they don’t like straight and in their own words, even Haiiry Bozza.
But it only takes one idiot to ruin everything for everybody.
And whoever is on this daft campaign of Thumby Downies, YOU are that idiot.
Nae luck, champ.
Merry Christmas onywey.
I hope ye choke on yer pudding 🙂
Here, why is there only 31 Dislikes here?!
I demand at least 40 Dislikes per item, you mangy old curs!
😀
Canny affords eggs & veggies. Though turning up at Celtic Park to further support to be ate.
You know what they say, Port, Give a man a dollar and he’ll make a fork but give a man a fork and he’ll eat yer dollar.
A dollar is to be obsolete through the cash register. A fork can dislodge.
George Washington no more!
Give peas a chance.
safeguard
Lifeguard, Captain!
How does a boat float upside down, Captain Birdseye?
Tell me, Captain, when you went Down Under did you carry your belongings in a portmanteau?
And if so, port man toe, did it fall upside down when your aeroplane or shipping vessel suddenly found itself going over the imaginary curve?
I bet it didn’t, didn’t it not, Cap’n, as there is no curve cos of there was there’d be no Australia and no booze soaked white colonists like you to inhabit it.
Aren’t I right now, Captain?
Where did they come from?
Where did they go?
Port the porter with his portmanteau?
Yo Ho Ho …
Answers on a portcard to …
And if it did fall out did it fall on your toe, Captain Port and his portmanteau?
Also, port, see when you went Down Under, did you always pass the Dutchie on the left hand side, that is, the port side, or did you sometimes get bold and go starboard?
Or do you prefer to stick to the left hand path?
Did you also do some favours to get work that required ‘An opening in a ship’s (back) side providing access to the interior’?
Not trying to be nosy, port, just curious as to what a newbie has to do in a white man’s colonised nation to ‘get in there’ as it were …
Remember Khids, do not water the Lawwells after midnight!
P.S. Could Yang be converted into a left fullback.
Wrt Wee Jamsie, Does the curtain match the drapes?
I’d rather see Yang converted into a player first.
Watch his body posture, the Bhoy has balance. Wingers are selfish bassas.
Today was telt. Cross low and hard and the wingers did.
It is listened.
Liam went Friday the 13th for the second.
He’s had a few fine moments has Yang.
Just a shame we can’t remember them.
Well done Bhoys.
This Tolkienesque referee, of short stature, is an angry wee derived man.
Weclome back, GB and Co.
He was trying to hobble it.
Billy Boy Baggins fae Titsandild! Oh!!!
If you want to be a hardman, tell CCV to shut his taxi doors.
Bring on the David Star Martindale post-match review.
Even big Ange wouldnae do that as he admitted he’s scared of him 😀
Paulo Bernardo put in a good shift.
Wow!
What a great audience! 😀 😀 😀
My Mammy spat on my Boots for good luck:
If I ran into the Coach and dislocated my shoulder, it would be popped back in and my chance at being sent up forward was thy reward.
Humerus times. Still scored an OG though.
Dermot Gallagher wears wasp contact lenses.
sevco FC to draw tomorrow after 135 minutes of full-time play.
I think it’s both hilarious and amazing that I could garner 34 Dislikes when there’s no even 34 folk read the page or even visit the site.
It’s pretty much me, Port and wee challie fae the Calton once the DTs have worn off and he’s managed to snaffle his next bottle of Buckie oot the offies.
Still, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, particularly for such a well read much travelled intellectual artist, musician and all round genius like myself.
I’nt that right, queenie?
😀
Love to meet up and have a sherry or two, possibility of the Highland Jessie for session?
We can talk about you, you and you and portpower.
We can talk right here, queenie.
You have the floor, the floor is yours …
Go on then, start the conversation since you’re so keen on me …
You don’t know how to start the conversation, queenie, even though you’re so keen on me?
Are you shy of a sudden, dearie, or did you leave yer false teeth at hame?
Do us a favour, love, and tell wee Sadie I said Hullo.
She’ll know what Ah mean.
The Hielan’ Jessie, ya big Jessie?
Nah, thanks, I generally try to avoid the company of ridiculous clowns like yourself.
🙂
On didums did you not win the WW of the year award?
Why, thank you, queenie, you’re very kind, that’s another pound in my bucket.
How many pounds have you had in yours?
Always good tae see the anti fitba convicted crim get his arse felt, though I’m sure after his sentence he’s well used tae it.
Cannot wait to see them go down, though I’m sure wee Davie’s long used tae that as well.
Isn’t it odd, Port, how no one ever comments on the podcasts when they’re often as good if not better than the Diary?
Particularly when no one ever comments on the contents of the Diary anyway?
It’s almost as if they’re living in some kind of strange dimensional schism where only the name of Ralph and his otherworldly projectionist Malph beneath the heading give them permission to spring back into life most often in pursuit of winning the Caption Comp …
Aye, they’re an odd bunch alright, but great for a giggle when ye fancy a wind up and I’m sure Ralph must be missing them terribly while sucking yon thick soup from dat big long BBC marked straw …
😉
You have no idea what he has been through. Have you mate?
No, I don’t, pray tell.
Gringo, go giggle on your own. Give over.
Give over what?
What has Ralph been through?
Tell us what Ralph has been through if you know, Port Man Toe.
Either shit or get off the pot.
Such a shame that there’s an Edit facility here but that you can’t use it after 30 seconds and without the assistance of Speedy Gonzalez …
(Swoons while gazing into the fading dusk of the midwinter twilight …)
Tis Tims that tell. Then telt then.
Ta-ta.
No Tim’s telt me anything.
What has Ralph been through?
Pitiful proof you’re a petty pr1ck, Port.
I hope Santa pees in yer pie.
🙂
With VAR, the fourth official has a paid day out. SFA, put simply, is that position tendered out?
Did you ever vote for Bob Hawke, Port?
How do you feel his so called ‘Leftist’ stance aligned with alleviating the natives’ suffering?
Let us go to the VAR replay. Was today’s game the first that there was no use to utilise?
Ducks in a bath full of water sinking, in various rows.
Relaxation is a new comfortable fantasy development.
They are only 2nd to match fixing again Michael Nicholson.
Not to blame for common speech. Encouraging to be had.
Have you any relations from Ireland, Port?
Where do they stand on your inhabiting a stranger’s land as though it were your own?
Your hoose is probably laid on them. Ask them yourself.
No my hoose, mate, not where I am.
But yours most certainly is.
So how does it make you feel, living on Aboriginal burial grounds under the stolen earth beneath your feet?
Just before halftime and just before fulltime, buffering. Thugs.
The governors?
Of the lands you have chosen to illegally inhabit?
Yeah, those whiteys are fvckers when it comes to things like that.
They’d never get away with it if their idiot passport holders chose not to follow through.
Eh, port ..?
You are still waiting on the second wind for your tanning salon.
There’s a thousand winds can tan your arse.
The page is replete with old w@nkers n fuds.
W@nkers n fuds and old washed out duds.
No gifts for you miserable curs, just more endless gripes and groaning at yer miserable lot in life, just more hammering at yer pathetically mute Thumbs Down button as replacement for what was once yer life force and vitality in yer desperate daily weakening sense of rage, rejection and downright misery.
It’s the grandweans I feel for the most, having you old bevvy soaked pissy pants scowling at them like wretches from the corner which you’ll most likely die in.
A bigger gang of dirty low minded scumbags I’ve never had the misfortune to be among anywhere in my life and I was raised amongst the lumpen Huns of Brigton.
So get it fvckin round yez one and all.
Tell yer grandweans ye’re sorry before the mRNA modifier they fooled you into believing was a ‘Vac cine’ kicks in fully.
You tae, Port.
In fact, you particularly since you’re the fud that believes you’re walking about upside down on the bottom of a ball that’s flying through an ‘endless vacuum’, dumb clown that ye are.
Tell me, Port, how do you fry eggs upside down in Australia without scalding yer face with the fat?
When aeroplanes fly into Australia at what point do they flip upside down without spilling all the food and drinks everywhere?
How does it feel when you’re on a boat in Australia upside down?
Must you hang off the handrails upside down until you’re over the equator or what?
Can you walk about on the ceilings in Australia and if not how can you walk on the floor upside down but not on the ceiling upside down?
Now answer the questions, you miserable petty auld booze soaked w@nker you.
You’re an amusing little man, Port, well, relatively amusing for a drunk, but how do your grandkids feel about your being party to this geno cide and thievery?
About your ongoing participation in the crimes of the one time Empire now better known as the misnomer of ‘The Commonwealth’ (sic)?
Im sure they’re only kids but what of your self, your own conscience?
How does it live with such a terrible burden of being party to, or at least, reaping the benefits of, a geno cide and ongoing repression and neglect of an entire country of native peoples?
Maube that’s why you drink so much, as your conscience tries to grapple with the deep lying it’s committing every waking day as you stagger about upside in Australia, (or is New Zealand, makes no difference as the principle’s the same)?
Hmm, you think?
You agree Ol’ Gringo might well be into something as regards your excessive quaffery of extremely large amounts of very strong alcohol?
Hmm ..?
Do let us know in the comments, port.
Of this is the case I’m afraid an addiction counsellor won’t really help and your best bet would be to move back to Blighty to both slave your conscience and allow one more space for one more native to inhabit.
Thievery is of those you take from beside. Those beside me have their all.
You’ve taken their land.
Like Israel took Palestine.
Give over.
Do you ever regret moving Down Under?
Do you largely agree with the white man’s policies of geno cidal hatred towards the Aborigines who’ve had everything stolen from by the Empire which has facilitated old booze soaked whiteys like you to move there?
You know, the Empire that Phil and other idiots keep saying no longer exists yet still owns 54 countries worldwide, chief among them Australia, Canada, New Zealand?
After all, you have no right to inhabit the Aboriginal lands nor to be party to breaking their song lines.
Why don’t you just go home where you belong, Empire licking white boy?
And take all the other geno cidal invaders with you, back to Blighty where you can blight all the other bitter minded white boys like yourselves’ lives rather than those of the native people in the land you stole?
They just changed the name from Empire to Commonwealth, port, and you’re as guilty with your part in it by supping off the fat of their lands as any of the original criminal invaders were as you’re directly participating in the proceeds of the crime.
Now, tell us, port, how does that make you feel this Christmas Eve?
Does it give you a good giggle or does such a bitter truth make your booze blasted British blood boil?
And what of des petites morceaux, Porto, that is, your own kids?
Where do they stand on the colonisation question?
Are their consciences clear and if so is that because they can pin the whole thing on you or do they detest the natives as much as the rest of the country does?
Not being nosy or anything, just that it’s such a fascinating land and political situation given the centuries of Brit geno cide, torture, imprisonment and repression and I’m a curious cat that likes to experience all such things, even if it is through the eyes of an illegal settler.
Go ON, Port Man Toe, tell us a story!
You know you want to.
You are to get a hula hoop for Christmas.
I’m using it the noo.
Naked.
Do you drink port, Port?
Sherry?
Or are you an Anything Goes kinda guy?
If it’s the latter then it’s your conscience.
If it’s the former that’s the little Brit in you and there’s likely nothing can be done til they scrape you off the chair.
McWilliams Royal Reserve. Some things they do get right now and again.
Boat-borne.
Monarchy lover.
Tell us something else, Port, know how they say in the song that in the land Down Under the wimmen glow and men plunder?
Is it true?
Does your missus glow while you plunder?
Go on, say ‘Oo er, Missus!’
😀
Btw, are you any relation to Natalie Portman, port, and if so could you clarify if she’s a man or a port or simply a man-port or just an opening in a back side providing access to the interior?
Po’ po’ Port looking out his back door …
My Missus is glowing with treatment, thank you.
Convince yourself Gringo.
I don’t need convincing that you need jailing.
That’s right, auld yins, keep jabbing at that Hate button, it must be doing you good to let it all out though I’m sure I could sit here all night and you’d all prove you have a never ending supply … 😀
But sorry, no can do, things to do and people to see on this busy busy Christmas Eve other than relieving bitter auld geriatrics of their endless supply of hate filled bile.
Ciao ciao for now, ciao bella!
Come on, Port o Bella, write something funny to amuse us.
Just so you remember that we’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you …
My apologies, Port, for my presumptuousness in thinking you have kids when you might be just like Santa and only come once a year.
Just so you all know, I make money off every Dislike you put up here, and even more for any replies.
Clever, eh ..?
Now can anyone guess how I do it?
I bet you can’t but you wish you could …
Not trying to boast or anything since the final total won’t be in til Tuesday or Wednesday but going by my rough estimate all these Dislikes have earned me somewhere approaching 200 quid for noising you bams up! 😀
Not bad for half a day’s work, eh, and that’s my Christmas AND New Year sorted!
Cheers, lads n lassies!
A bigger gang of idiots I’ve never met in me life! 😀 😀 😀
Hail Hail!
Wow! What a really great audience!
I would do stand up but it’s much easier sitting down.
More profitable tae!
Thanks for everything, mugs!
😀 😀 😀
14 hours of sunlight where you are the now, eh, Port?
No bad fir Christmas Day but is that because your side of ‘the planet’, Janet, is closer to the sun for longer or because the sun is closer to you Southies for longer on the flat endless plain, Jane?
You anywhere near Lord Howe Island, port?
If so, you any idea how a Lord cawed Howe could have an island on the upside down named after him?
What did Howe do to deserve this?
Drank sherry and port aw day while ordering his men to slau ghter aw the natives ..?
And with every sip of your Christmas wine you partake of the natives’ blood …
No offence, me auld mucker, nothing personal, just telling you some home truths that I’m sure you were already aware of long before you made that upside downy move of yours, a move you’ve had plenty time to ruminate on since, I’m sure, what wae you being a good n proper Tim an all, who well understands the colonial situation in Northern Ireland and the reasons, for example, why Derry is still called ‘Londonderry’ on the international news without dispute and such like.
Just a wee reminder to watch where ye put yer loose lipped brain an fingers next time.
So you realise it might be best to assess the situation beforehand.
I’nt that right, Port?
Apologies to Richie for whatever he’s been through, as alluded to by Portpower earlier and which he refuses to tell me.
If I knew what it was I’d never have said that I wanted him back, for as far as Desi, Monty, Hector and the Bhoys have said, the worst Ralph has had to endure is a soup fest in the company of Pat Nevin and the rightfully constantly berated Tam English, the Irishman who could single handedly revive Limerick’s reputation as ‘Stab City’ if any of its fine inhabitants had the misfortune to ever read one of his reports on The Famous Glasgow Celtic then happen to encounter the clown on the street.
(For the record, I’ve worked in Limerick on & off down the years and never had a bit of bother, quite the opposite in fact, apart from the night one young lady got a bit overzealous on my man parts and somehow seemed to forget she had teeth, but since we were both pished out our minds we just laughed it off and carried on, though I didn’t feel so clever in the morning.)
But since Portpower knows and refuses to tell us what poor Ralph/Richie has ‘been through’ I’ll apologise profusely in advance, if a bit late, as I’m not on X (formerly Twitter) and hope everyone sees my stand up/sit down comedy as my own personal coping mechanism amidst this ongoing madness as it is and will never hold it against me, no matter how many coppers hold them overnight and say they’ll eventually let them off if they do.
And if they don’t, well, fvck em.
Blessings to Richie/Ralph and Desi/Mondo for de years of de space and de love and de ongoing perfect ponder.
While dey were dancing in dat bar room last night.
Is it the Amazon van?
Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!
Not for me to say.
Well you shouldn’t have said it then.
Oof, a blatant penalty not given as a penalty. So, what is next for us all to be told to move on from?
A great charter of freedoms on a fleg?
sevco runnyneed FC.
The graveyard maybe?
Gotta love those non stop hate filled ETims Downers!
Ever vigilant day and night!
Even on Christmas Day and night!
😀
Shall I say ‘Ho Ho Ho, ya hooers’ or will I leave that for you to recognise for yirselves ..?
Instant communication.
The World does not need Specsavers, whatever the outcome!
Gringo
If only I was that age I would have been there. Is that not right Gringo?
On the Barbaric Coast?
Did not Andy Walker hear in the Sky Sport allocated studio “make your own mind up” from Var-Ref?
He is back.
Tis the season to be sevco
Trail-n-trail and trail and trail.
Choose wisely Mark.
Jingle Bells Crawford smells sevco ran away.
They never retire.
They retire to the VAR van to reenact Benny Hill’s Di ckie Davies sketch where he’s checking nude books in the breaks and eventually hiring some big blonde tae rub herself all over him.
Except the VAR refs are aw blowing each other.
It’s a Masonic thing.
If Jesus was alive today, he wouldn’t get a word in edgewise.
If I said he was controlled opposition dae ye think anybody’d get offended?
Aye, ye’re alright, Port.
Ye can take a roast and yon’s gey few wae aw that oestrogen in the watter.
HH.