Celtic Diary Wednesday September 15: Presence Of Malice

The Europa League returns tomorrow, and with it comes a return to the city of Seville, where arguably Celtic fans had their greatest triumph.

 

Sadly, the current UK status as Plague Island means that Celtic weren’t given tickets for the game, but I’d suggest that not all of the green and white paraphenalia in the crowd will belong to the locals.

 

 

Betis are the Real thing, as Yoker Bhoy explained in the replies to the last diary….

 

 

Let’s talk about Betis. Having watched the full 90 last night in their vital away encounter against Granada I was happy to see those boys in green and white finally pick up full points for the first time this season. The lads from Seville dominated the first half and could easily have gone into the break with at least a three goal lead had it not been for some second-rate finishing and some heroics from Portuguese goalie Luis Maximiano. It took a brilliant goal from wide midfield starlet Rodrí Sánchez to break the deadlock with the final kick of the ball in a first 45 that was completely dominated by the verdiblancos. A splendid 40 yard through ball from Guido found the 21 year old Extremaduran in full flight followed by a deft first touch, cutting inside at unstoppable speed and unleashing a fierce unstoppable across the goal and right into the top corner. Brilliant stuff and a real hammer blow for the Granadians.  

 

 

 ….3 spectacular goals and plenty of incident. The pick of the bunch was the one by Sergio Canales that sealed the points for the away side. The Cantabrian had come on as a sub and hadn’t made much of an impact on the game until the 89th minute when suddenly he picked up a loose ball just inside his own half, showed incredible ball control and trickery to get the better of four opponents while romping up the park and battering in a low left-foot drive into the bottom corner – a goal that Maradona or Messi would have been proud of and will no doubt be a strong candidate for goal of the season. If you haven’t seen it yet you’ve just got to check that one out on the Youtube. The man’s a genius.
The verdiblancos completely controlled the first half and should have scored at least three goals but there was some wasteful finishing and the Portuguese goalie for Granada, Luis Maximiano, was performing heroics. The second half was a different affair after ex-Levante legend Rubén Rochina came on and transformed the game with his vision and long-range precision passing. Where Betis could have a problem is in the centre of defence as their best CB, Algerian international Mandi, went to Villareal in the close season while ex-Barça stopper Marc Bartra was taken off injured last night. Both Víctor Ruiz and the Argentinian newcomer Pezzella are experienced and competent central defenders but if anything happens to either of them, Pelligrini would have no option othen than to either play a DM out of position or draft in a youth player. Should be an exciting game on Thursday anyway and a highly emotional one for me as I’ll be wishing a defeat for the Betis boys for the first time in my life. I’ve had some unforgettable moments in the past at the Benito Villamarín supporting the home side and it’s a brilliant place to be but, of course, it’s nothing compared to Paradise 😉

 After AZ, I’d rather we had less excitement, but I suppose it will be entertaining.
 Anything from the game will be a bonus, and we should probably remind ourselves that Celtic have won more games on the road in Europe than they have domestically, albeit by the slender margin of one to nil.
 Tony Ralston is a doubt, and should he not play, the hoops will miss his determination and drive, as well as his quality.
 I’m going to type that again. Just so I can see that I really did type it.
Tony Ralston is a doubt, and should he not play, the hoops will miss his determination and drive, as well as his quality.
 Ralston Starfelt Carter vickers Juranovic might well be the defence, and with Greg Taylor injured it does show that we do need cover at full back.
 Unsurprising they’re starting to show signs of wear and tear, given the demands put on them by the manager.
 Another possibility is Adam Mongtomery, who hasn’t let anyone down thus far, with Liam Scales probably not match fit to the standards required.
 Betis, or to give them their full name, Real Betis Balompie   is a Spanish professional football club based in Seville in the autonomous community of Andalusia. Founded in 1908, it plays in La Liga, having won the Segunda División in the 2014–15 season. It holds home games at Estadio Benito Villamarín in the south of the city with 60,720-seat capacity.[3]Real Betis won the league title in 1935 and the Copa del Rey in 1977 and 2005. Given the club’s tumultuous history and many relegations, its motto is ¡Viva el Betis manque (aunque) pierda! (“Long live Betis even when they lose!”).[4]   (wikipedia ) 

 That sort of attitude has no doubt endeared them to Celtic fans, as indeed would their colours, which are green and white.
 Balompie, by the way, literally  translates as football.   Futbol is just some anglicised bollocks concocted by the same standard of journalist who calls AEK Athens Aye-Ek, Milan “AC ” and as we saw last time out, told us of a club called Alkmaar Zaanstreek 67 Alkmaar.
 Anyway, this is the bit you probably were curious about, again from wikipedia……
Real Betis originally played in all blue jerseys and white shorts, for no other reason than the easy availability of such plain colours.[citation needed] But one of the founders and captain, Manuel Ramos Asensio, was keen to take advantage of his relationships made while studying in Scotland, contacted Celtic (whose green and white colours matched the Andalusian regional flag) and obtained the same fabric to make kits for his own club. Ramos had the lines re-orientated from horizontal ‘hoops’ into vertical stripes to make the shirts (no other Spanish club used the combination at the time). There is no mention of Celtic or Scotland in the history of Betis on the club’s official website,[5] but in 2017 the club officially acknowledged the link by producing a special hooped kit to coincide with Andalusia Day.[6] The blue colour is still often used in away kit designs.[7]
 Interestingly, Guus Hiddink was their manager for a few months in early 2000, at around the time he was touted as Celtic boss.
 Well, perhaps not that interesting.
 Elsewhere, the presence of malice cannot be denied in Scotland this week.
 Ibrox supporters group The Union Bears managed to rip up a few seats at McDairmid Park in Perth, which didn’t attract the headlines it should have, nor the condemnation and apologies that would normally accompany such an act, but then they don;t do that sort of thing down Copland road way.
 What was a little more concerning, and perhaps why it didn’t receive the coverage it deserved, were the stickers on the seats…placed there, it seems, by a group of fans that only recently were invited into the club/company’s trophy room…..
Image
 Take a closer look at the sticker…..
Image
 Presumably, her majesty’s finest are hot on the tails of who printed these, and who paid for them.
 And no doubt, especially given the race related arrests of other Ibrox supporters, they’ll be tracing who sat in those seats, and what exactly they meant by All Taigs are Targets .
 And I’ll tell you for why they will be on top of this.
 On Saturday, there will be a couple of dozen, or thereabouts, Orange Walks in Glasgow, which are not noted for their peaceful participants.
 Factor in the unveiling of the league flag at Ibrox, the excess drink and the general theme of malice towards catholics and Irish and one begins to wonder if the stickers on the seat were in fact a warning of chaos to come at the weekend.
 I’m sure this thought has already crossed the mind of senior police and politicians, and those of them who haven’t booked the day off to join in will need to be at their most vigilant, clamping down on hate crimes and assuring the safety of the general population.
 Or, of course, they will let them run riot through the streets again, smashing up shops, benches and each other, whilst women, children and the elderly sit at home with their curtains closed…..
 Because after all, recent policy has been to let them cause havoc, in case, er, they cause more havoc.
 Will anyone come out and assure us that all criminal activity will be strictly dealt with at the point of the incident.
 I doubt it.
 But I could be wrong.
 The recent siege mentality adopted by fans who think its a bigger crime to record or report such antics suggests that there will be more of the same at the weekend.
 Of course, any trouble will be firmly linked to catholic schools and whatever other deflections they can come up with, and then the drums and flutes will be packed away until next summer, and the whole process will begin again.
 And thats the problem, the police and the politicians just want to get it over with, and then hide it and hope no one noticed.
 Which means the problem will never go away.
 In fact, it’s even spread to London, with Chelsea fans abusing John McGinn due to his Irish background, which in turn prompted Pat Nevin to twirl his pen in fury and announce he’d be having a word with the European Champions.
 And let’s face it, the prospect of being lectured by that goon is terrifying in itself.
 Remember when he lambasted “rangers ” fans for their outbursts….?
No Billag GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY
 But, don’t worry,  there may be a solution…….

The UK has awarded contracts for laser cannons to be fitted to tanks and warships, a mere five years after first bounding into the field of directed energy weapons.

A government announcement today said that consortia led by Thales and US arms megacorp Raytheon’s UK tentacle would see a new laser weapon being tested aboard one of the Royal Navy’s Type 23 frigates.

The zapper will be “detecting, tracking, engaging and countering Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAV),” according to the Ministry of Defence, while the Army gets to have a go at melting drones with a laser gun strapped to one of its Wolfhound armoured trucks.

A radio frequency “demonstrator” used for detecting and tracking nearby drones will also be fitted to an Army-issue Man SV lorry. All of these projects are said to be creating 50 new jobs and keeping a further 250 people employed.

Defence procurement minister Jeremy Quinn said in a canned statement: “Directed Energy Weapons are a key element of our future equipment programmes and we intend to become a world-leader in the research, manufacture and implementation of this next-generation technology.”

 I wonder if they’ve finalised the location and date of the testing yet ?
 On Monday, we had this….
Image
Honest Hoops
 2 days ago

“Peter…you can come out now, Dom has left!!

 
 Today……
Image
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Pat O' Hara
5 days ago

Caption.
A bit of advice dear. Don’t let this photographer take your wedding photos. They are not very good,
Are they?

Yoker Bhoy
5 days ago

Cheers for posting up my comments on Real Betis from the other diary Ralph and apologies to readers for the disjointed and repetitive content but it came from two separate posts in which I was trying to get the better of the dreaded moderator but spectacularly lost both times!

BornCelt!
5 days ago

And after Mr Murray had finished removing the spine from the club, as you realised they collapsed and died. HH!

Yoker Bhoy
5 days ago

I didn’t mention that Betis seem to be without a quality out and out striker at the moment (a bit like ourselves) although loanee Brazilian from Real Sociedad Willian José is a bit of an unknown quantity for me. I get the feeling he’s no great shakes although his goalscoring record over the years stands up reasonably well.

Cesar
5 days ago

They orange walk must have been cancelled that year. Everybody knows they’re the real national posturing queens.

Yoker Bhoy
5 days ago

One guy that really needs watching is playmaker/second striker Fekir as this guy simply oozes class when on song. Although the ex-Lyon footballer lacks a bit of pace he is very strong, tough, aggressive and with a low centre of gravity is very difficult to dispossess. His main attribute, however, is in his astonishing ability to strike the ball and find lethal inch-perfect killer passes through packed defences.

Phil McEachen
5 days ago
Reply to  Yoker Bhoy

Sounds like a job for James McCarthy?

Yoker Bhoy
4 days ago
Reply to  Phil McEachen

Good shout if he’s up to full fitness.

Frank McGaaaarvey
5 days ago

“Here is my sturdy backbone. Looks like I won’t be considered for the CEO job at Celtic after all”.

Yoker Bhoy
5 days ago

Sergio Canales, what can I say? Oh, I already said it above in the diary. Simply an amazing brilliant player who has lit up la Liga for a long time now. As a massive prospect in his teen years he plied his trade with Racing Santander before being snapped up by Real Madrid. He also played a key role for Valencia CF for a few seasons. Comparisons could be made with Dani Parejo (ex Valencia and now with Villareal) and even with our own Calmac because this guy has a massive work rate and can roam aroud the park being perfectly comfortable in any of the midfield roles. Up until very lately he was actively involved in the Spanish national team set-up and I think that current exclusion could only be put down to Luis Enrique’s desire to build a younger team for the future. Now over 30 and of slight build, this maestro still has plenty of dig and grit in him but he often shines due to his exceptional reading of games and his marvellous technical ability with both feet. He’s more than capable of scoring frightening thunderbolts from 35 yards out.

Sancheto
5 days ago

Caption – the 1957 posture queen predicts that if the Celtic board can find a manager with a good backbone then they will be Champions of Europe in ten years time.

or

The 1957 posture queen shows that for Celtic to become a regular fixture in the CL then they should stop recruiting jellyfish to the board and only recruit board members who have a good strong back bone to see through the changes demanded by the fans!

Yoker Bhoy
5 days ago

Last but not least, I have to give a big mention to the legendary Joaquín (God bless him), the 40 year old wonder boy. I remember him as a 20 year-old tearing up that right wing for Betis when he sailed past defenders as if they weren’t there but it was his remarkable crossing precision that really made him special. He was already one of the most exciting attacking players in Europe at that time and indeed went on to play a huge part in Spain’s World Cup finals campaign the following year in South Korea/Japan. It was he who floated the ball right onto the head of Fernando Morientes for a great goal against the Koreans that would have taken the Spaniards into the semi-final but what followed was one of the worst decisions from a linesman and referee in the history of the game. The ball at Joaquin’s feet hadn’t even touched the line before he made that cross but somehow the goal was chalked off and a goal kick given. Now at a more mature age the winger can’t last the 90 minutes anymore but hasn’t lost any of his brilliant technical attributes and frequently comes on as a sub during the last half hour. His ability and wealth of experience are still more than enough to help swing any game during the later stages.
He’s well loved throughout his country and has always been a perfect gentleman typifying everything that is good and honest about the beautiful game. His natural charisma and quirky Andalusian humour have made him a huge TV personality and if it is timely announced that this will turn out to be his last season as a player, he is absolutely guaranteed to receive rousing receptions in every single stadium that Betis happen to visit, even in the Sánchez Pijuán!

Una
5 days ago

Caption

Thats adkins diet is some job

Dziekanowski's nightclub child
5 days ago

Caption: everyone was amazed to find out that Glasgow city council actually had a spine after deciding to let fascists march in the city

Cartvale88
5 days ago

Caption

On the right reality, in the frame what the zombies believe to be attractive.

We can gnash our teeth at the rascist bile spewed out by the peepul, but the reaction of the authorities as well as the SFA/SPFL is to make out it’s a continuation of the banter years. As for the vitriol spewed at McGinn, at least he is not McLean that constantly for the last ten plus years has had bile, threats flung at him, his family, for his stance on the poppy. The fourth estate ignores this and prattles on about colour being the only form of rascism, but anything anti Irish in the UK is clearly ignored.
Ireland was their first colony and they have never got over being kicked out of Dublin.

The Green Machine
5 days ago
Reply to  Cartvale88

Scotland was their first colony.

The Green Machine
5 days ago

And they still run Dublin in exactly the same way they still run every other nook & cranny of this Earth that they colonised.

The Commonwealth (sic) countries prove it.

Id you look you’ll see that Ireland has ‘Dominion Status’ but that it still falls under Commonwealth’(sic) rule.

Which means the British State still rules Ireland no matter what Phil says.

It’s right there in the wording of the Commonwealth (sic) pages.

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Got to love how many times You reply to your Own Posts.
The voices must be getting through the tinfoil…..alcan man…..

The Green Machine
4 days ago

No, it’s because the blog system often doesn’t let me reply to the person I’ve just replied to.

But you’re no person, lowlife.

Not after what you did last night.

You’re a pathetic degenerate dog.

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Your missus said she loved that pumpin ,

The Green Machine
4 days ago

I don’t have a missus, I like birds too much.

As your own missus will tell ye, mug.

The Cha
4 days ago

Scotland voluntarily joined a political union with England just over 300 years ago and voluntarily declined to break this 7 years ago.

I hesitate to ask you to do your own research on what colonialism is, as you’ll come back with the bombshell knowledge that the Black Plague was caused by a deadly man-made vaccine to deal with the non-threatening common cold.

5 days ago

“I want the Doctor
to take a picture
so I can look at you
from inside as well”

  • Vapours CSC
The Green Machine
5 days ago
Reply to  Desimond

I don’t think you’d even be allowed to use the title of that song nowadays far less put a line like that in it.

Great track too.

The Green Machine
5 days ago

She seems ‘armless enough …

Martio67
5 days ago

Caption: Angie Posturecoglou

The Green Machine
1 day ago
Reply to  Martio67

An underrated pun 😀

Owen Mullions
5 days ago

Caption:
Miss Posture Queen 1957 sees a picture of herself in 2021.

sfa unfit for purpose
5 days ago

McGregor and Abada are both out of the Betis game but Ralston should be fit.

The Green Machine
5 days ago

Should be ..?

Is that your theory, Useless?

Or is it simply mere speculation & conjecture on your part, Useless ..?

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Its what the Manager said at the press conference today.
Are we allowed to believe him , or is he also part of the lizard world conspiracy.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

You believe there’s a lizard world conspiracy?!

You’re a secret admirer of the BBC shill David Icke?

You’re off your fvckin nut, mate.

Seek professional help immediately, fool.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

And I’ll tell you something else, Useless …

See when you Disliked my Rest In Peace message to Turnbull Hutton last night?

You lost not only the respect of every good man on this blog but you also lost a part of your soul, you lowlife scumbag.

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Oh your already clutching for Straws Tinfoil….

Someone disliked one of your comments , surprise surprise , and in an effort to somehow do me harm you claim it was me , and bring the name of a deceased man into it.
What a cowardly scumbag you are.

And a scumbag with no limit to how low you will stoop
.
When you respond , please tell me how you identify who dislikes your comments.
I tend not to dislike , if i have a problem i will reply , not dislike.
I have never disliked any of your madness , so it will be interesting to see how you KNOW who it was.
Looking forward to you Outing yourself some more to the good and bad men on this site.
Must be a real mess inside your head.
Tinfoil Scumbag.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Firstly, I know it was you because you’re the only one that now bothers to dislike my comments.

Secondly, I know it was you because you retracted it when I called you out on it.

Thirdly, I know it was you cos yer missus telt me when I was pumping the @rse aff her earlier.

And the rest f the readers know it was you tae, muppet, so don’t lie about it.

Youve been caught, now man up and admit it.

Ach, I forgot, folk wae nae baws don’t know how to man up, as they’ve nothing to man up with.

N’at right, Useless?

Tell the readers how even Adolf had the one mair bollock than you.

In fact, he even had a bawsack tae keep it in tae.

Nae luck, Useless!

Try again!

😀 😀 😀

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Clutching AT straws, Useless, you’re clutching AT straws …

Which is no great surprise since you’ve proved ye’ve nae baws …

🙂

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

6 years ago , YADAYADAYADA.

Are you David Icke…….That Would explain a lot.

Tinfoil

The Green Machine
4 days ago

And I’m pretty sure everyone knows what the manager said at his press conference, he doesn’t need a fvckin parrot like you to squawk for him.

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

You didn’t know what he said knutjob.
But thats ok. I will keep you right with the facts , while you push on with your bilge. Mr Icke.
Tinfoil

The Green Machine
4 days ago

You’re the Icke fan here, mate.

Youre rhe one that keeps mentioning him and you’re the one that believes there’s a world lizard conspiracy.

I think you’re a tad confused, boss.

Ask yer missus how she enjoyed it, would ye, I had to pull out quick before her boyfriend got in.

BJF
5 days ago

Ralph, I have told you before about putting my wife’s picture on here. ( Alfredo).
Betis might, just might, be
a step too far without Kyogo. At the back perm any 4 from Montcomery, Juanovic, Ralston, CV, Welsh or Starfeld.
So let me get this right Catholic schools create sectarianism so all those Orangemen/ Union Bears went to catholic schools. However the Catholics who went to the same schools are free from sectarisnism and support a club that has welcomed those of all faiths and none since 1888. Shocking admission by the bigots.

The Green Machine
5 days ago
Reply to  BJF

They don’t realise what they’ve said.

They never do.

The Green Machine
1 day ago

4 Dislikes for pointing out a plain truth about the Huns’ stupidity …

We can only but think that these 4 men are closet Huns then …

henkesdreadlocks
5 days ago

Caption……..

Star Wars Stormtrooper (one inch below minge base), travels back in time to infiltrate International Posture Queen .

The Green Machine
5 days ago

Caption:

Does my tush look big in this?

Iancelt67
5 days ago

Caption
I should’ve done my kegel exercises all those years ago

The Green Machine
5 days ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

They should have awarded her International Posh Tush Of The Year.

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Hehehehe …

Ah’d gie masel a Thumbs Up for that yin but Ah can’t be @rsed …

🙂

The Green Machine
4 days ago

I see young Janice over on The Obsessed With Sevco Blog is now taking the board’s side in Dom McKay’s departure …

In a sly, almost clever way that Freemasons do so that they can worm out of it if called on it but that is exactly what he’s doing.

Good to know that I was right about him 6 years ago tae, despite all the squeals from his then readers, who have since abandoned him to his adverts and Sevco obsession.

Just another bought & paid for Board lackey like so many others.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Caption:

Useless’ missus learns the secret of why why he never pumps her.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Here’s a poem your wife showed me earlier, Useless, when we were tidying up the goo ..

Why Oh Why.
She cried in distress
Is my love life with Useless
Such a sad mess?
I know that he’s ugly
And I know that he’s thick
So why won’t he give me
A bit of his d1ck?
Since I’ve put up with his nonsense
For all of those years
Listened to his shite
Till he drove me to tears
So today I checked ETims
And to my horror & surprise
I find out that Useless
Has nae baws at his thighs!

Poor wumman, eh ..?

At least she has ol’ Green Machine tae help her with her frustrations…

The Green Machine
4 days ago

And ffs, Useless, don’t tell yer wife that I know she huz a boyfriend, I prefer to be diplomatic with wimmen.

So long as they spread them for me I’m happy and yer missus seems happy enough with that tae, Ah must admit, as she does it often enough.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Here, Useless, it’s getting to the stage where Ralph will huv tae put up the gif of a nervous Peter Sellers in your mockery while the readers eagerly await the next TGM onslaught …

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Like you do on every site you denegrate with your presence , your proving yourself to be a real Lunatic.
Its hilarious to watch you scrape the barrel.

Is this part of your promise/guarantee to put me off this page for good ?

Report card for Tinfoil reads , must try harder.
But well done for typing with your nose during the straight jacket days.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

That’s ‘straitjacket’, mate.

But it must be hard to write when you’re in one so full marks for effort!

😀 😀 😀

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Ask yer missus to let you out so you can reply to ol’ Green Machine properly next time, would you?

And no need to get angry at me, I’m doing both you and her a favour, ye know.

Ah mean let’s face it, she’s not the best looking is she ..?

Still, she does have her good points and man does she go!

Ye just gotta know how to warm her up first, Useless, something she tells me you’re truly USELESS at …

The Green Machine
4 days ago

And how am I the lunatic when you’re the one that believes in the ‘lizard world conspiracy’?

Explain that to the readers for our mutual amusement.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

And eyes the proof ..

‘sfa unfit for purpose 1 hour ago

 Reply to  The Green Machine

Its what the Manager said at the press conference today.
Are we allowed to believe him , or is he also part of the lizard world conspiracy‘

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Have you calmed down yet?
That must be 8 or 10 posts in under 10 minutes.
Are you trying to set a record ?
Most shite spouted ?
And the Best you can do is juvenile jokes about my missus ?
And to copy and paste my comments.
At this rate i will be here Forever.
Maybe you should ask for more Shock therapy.
You might manage something original.
Tinfoil.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

I’m perfectly calm, mate.

And my record was set years ago and it’s one you’ll never match …

It was the time I banged your missus for 8 hours straight while you were at work!

😀 😀 😀

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Btw, Useless, as for your ‘Must try harder’ comment, funnily enough that’s the very phrase yer wife keeps saying about you …

Of course now that she’s discovered you’re a bawless bawbag she’s realised that the word ‘harder’ isn’t even possible when you’re around …

Night night, Useless.

See ye ramorra.

But you’ll no see me

😀

The Green Machine
4 days ago

‘Jokes’ about yer missus, Useless ..?

These aren’t jokes, mate.

But you are.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

And for the record you’re the fool that started the missus jokes, Useless, not me.

You’ll be regretting that now though, eh, chump?

The Green Machine
2 days ago

Aye, Ah thought so …

😀

The Green Machine
1 day ago

Name the sites, Useless.

Ive asked you already now do the right thing and name the sites.

Otherwise everyone will just think you’re a loudmouthed blowhard fool who doesn’t know what the fvck he’s on about.

And they’d be right too.

🙂

The Green Machine
4 days ago

Alright, boys, that’s enough of me riding Useless’ fat @rse tonight, gotta save some for that of his missus ramorra …

Mind n watch out for ol’ Green Machine on yer way to work in the morning, mate, you might pass me on the way in …

😉

Man in Denial
4 days ago

caption

but, it came to light that dom’s mum was prettier than all the others mums, and so, he had to be let go

Woof Charlie
4 days ago

Caption: In this case study the patient got the horn. Unfortunately he swallowed it and plain x-ray clearly identifies it approaching the sigmoid colon.

The Green Machine
4 days ago

See, I told you I was relentless once I got started, Useless.

Just ask Monti, Red, Charlie Duncan Saiz or any other fool that fancied having a go at me.

Even better, ask yer missus …

She loves it, my relentlessness …

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Boring pish.
You don’t do original.
Single facet

The Green Machine
3 days ago

The Green Machine doesn’t do original! 😀 😀 😀

All yo he done since you came on is copy Monti, Red & Charlie Saiz and repeatedly written the word ‘Tinfoil’ for reasons know only you yourslef (and Duncan) the whole damn week.

Meanwhile, I’ve taken you, and yer missus, apart at the seams.

Howzabout that for original, muppet?

Now let’s all wait for Useless to write ‘Tinfoil’ again, fact, we could have a wee sweepstake to see just how long it takes him to once again copy the now long chased squaddie that was Charlie Duncan Saiz …

It would have been 5 minutes but I’ll go for Sunday at the lates, now that I’ve put him and his ridiculous copycat stylee right back in their idiot copycat box.

What you gonnae right now, Mr Tinfoil?

Ye gonna mention how much ye love David Icke or his ‘lizard world conspiracy again or will he go and ask yer missus if she’s really having an affair again ..?

Take yer time …

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Btw, I’ll gie ye a wee tip of ye really want to know if yer missus is playing away fae. Game, it’s dead easy and I can’t believe most guys don’t know it …

Ah, hang on, since it’s you, Useless, I won’t bother.

I will say this though, ye did look awfy stressed this mornin’ …

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago

The nutters always mark their own homework…..Classic

Yeah i’m apart at the seams…….yawn.

Looks like charlie , monti and red have came back to dislike your posts lol

Might be a new record for unpopular comments…..

Does your crystal ball tell you who disliked you today ?

Just copy and paste the reply , its all your good for.

Tinfoil.

The Green Machine
3 days ago

5 minutes!

I win the sweep!

And yer missus telt me the day while I was pumping her that you’re scrambling around the house every night looking for auld phones so that YOU can further Dislike my comments one more time, you sad pathetic inglorious little bastard you … 🙂

The Green Machine
3 days ago

See, the fact is, Useless, I could not give a monkeys fvck whips likes or doesn’t like my comments …

All I care about is having a laugh.

And knowing that I’m pumpin yer wife while you’re working away like a f@nny.

Now isn’t that cute?

🙂

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Shit, ‘whips’, Freudian slips …

I really didn’t mean to tell the boys about yer missus’ fondness for the aul’ whip n gag routine but now that it’s out there …

I mean, she does put it out there after all …

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Well, your missus certainly doesn’t do ‘single facet’, she likes it all ways.

But that onky cos I know how to turn on her All Way faucet, know what Ah mean ..?

Of course ye don’t but it gives me a good laugh to ask ye anyway 😀

Yer missus too, come to think of it 😀

If ye’ll pardon the aul’ pun there now …

😉

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago

Typo

Loosin it ..Again

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Hahaha, you’re worried about typos while I’m gien yer missu laldy up the tradesman‘s! 😀

You’re beyond pathetic, mate, sorry, USELESS …

Here, btw, dae ye no think it’s funny that after you write ONE sad attempt at insult about my non existent ‘missus’ last that I’ve managed to pull you all ways a d sideways since yesterday with about 40 or 50 gags about me pumping the cvnt aff your ain missus ..?

I mean, how much can one useless clown fvck up in the one 24 hours and still not see the funny side ..?

But take your time, Useless …

I’m here all night.

The Green Machine
1 day ago

Tingly faucet, Farrah Fawcet.

Bognorbhoy
4 days ago

Caption …
Emu or camel toe ?

portpower
4 days ago

GET SORO OFF.

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  portpower

SORO!

GET OFF!

Did that work or am I too late?

Useless’ missus asked me to tie her tae the bed while he was shouting like a bam at the telly and I couldnae resist staying for another round.

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Tell ye whit though, Port, I got off mighty fine …

sfa unfit for purpose
4 days ago

Neil Lennon and Chris Sutton both due to comment from Ipox on the Celtic game , then comment on the rangers game.
Both have been refused entry to ipox and deemed a security risk by MD stewart robinson.
Sounds like they cannot guarantee their safety !
Sky now working both games from a London studio…
Everyone anyone lol

portpower
3 days ago

sevco canny afford 2 personal security guards.

The Green Machine
3 days ago

‘Everyone Anyone’ …

Useless’ missus makes it plain where she stands.

Or spreads, rather …

Woof Charlie
3 days ago

Maybe one of them is selling second hand motors?

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  Woof Charlie

I bet no more goes like Useless’ missus though …

Boy, does she go!

Only people is once ye’ve lubricated the parts enough they sometimes just can’t stop squirting all over the shop!

Thats the problem with these old yins sometimes, too long in the garage and not enough grinding of the gears but once ye get them running, Cor Blimey, Missus!!!

They do love a good hard run out before it gets time for the knackers yard but it’s usia
alu cos they’ve had the wrong owner for too long who doesn’t know how to handle them.

I’nt that right, Useless ..?

Tell the boys how well she used to run for you if you’re feeling a bit left out of the party, her boyfriend won’t mind …

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago

Double Yawn…..

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago

Another Typo…..

HAHAHAHA

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Aye, I’m going blind, glad you’re enjoying the typos as much as yer bird enjoys my shaft up her.

The Green Machine
3 days ago

But could ye not Rey responding without something better than pointing out typos, Useless?

I mean, really, you called me ‘single fcaet’ and all you do in response to me pumping the @rse aff yer missus dae n night is point out typos ..?

Any more of that and the lads really will start to realise that ol’ Green Machine is right again and that you really don’t have any baws, nor even a brain to work them with if ye did …

Know wot Ah mean ..?

But of COURSE you don’t! 😀 😀 😀

portpower
3 days ago

Threw it.

Sorry but Soro is domestic level and that is it.

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  portpower

I prefer your cryptic stuff tbh, Port.

Your match analyses require some serious work.

portpower
3 days ago

Hes nae a smiling assassin, hes just a smiling astronaut.

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  portpower

Useless?

He’s a one dimensional ridiculous clown.

Good job his missus likes everything in 4HD technicolour as those home movies we make together keep me well happy in her absence.

The Green Machine
2 days ago

Shame about the face but ve haff veys around zat …

Yoker Bhoy
3 days ago

A bit heartbreaking after such a brilliant start but an enthralling game all the same. Our defence did well for much of the game but just falls that bit short with positional know-how and speed of reaction when trying to contain quality opposition. What were they thinking about when giving a player of Canales’ quality all that space down the left for that third goal? Plenty of positives though, we more than held our own for much of the game against Real Madrid’s bogey team and finished the match strongly. Jota looks like a fine acquisition and could be massive for us. Plenty to look forward to and we’ll get a lot stronger in the games ahead as injuries clear up and new signings bed in. HH

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago
Reply to  Yoker Bhoy

Just hoping we have a Manager and squad that Learn from mistakes , and don’t just repeat them.
Soro is not learning and needs to up his game.
And we coped without McGregor a lot better than i thought we would.

The Green Machine
2 days ago

Hope is useless when the eyes are blind and the heart is empty, Useless.

As yer missus will happily tell ye …

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Isn’t it comforting to read that the American government will deploy “Federal Monoclonal Antibody Strike Teams” in partnership with HHS, FEMA, and the Department of Defense?

Isnt it just great to know that Pedo Joe B is using ‘military health teams’ (sic) to illegally implement a mass va ccination programme against own people because the vast majority have realise that the whole thing is a hoax and there’s no other way for Pedo Joe & his puppet masters to get their toxin into them?

Isn’t it but ..?

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Doesn’t give you all a woozy tingly feeling in your belly to know that our governments care for us so much that they’re gonna have the military inject us with their toxic potions against our God given free will and even take the time to do the same to our children ..?

Isn’t it just great to know that all those billionaires & trillionaires who’ve spent decades exploiting humanity and send our forebears into war after war after war actually really DO care for humanity at heart ..?

Isn’t it but sure it is ..?

The Green Machine
3 days ago

It is but isn’t it but?

I know it must make you guys feel just delighted by ‘doing the right thing’ and letting the pharmaceutical companies and world government ‘take care of ye’ the way they do …

The Green Machine
2 days ago

It IS bit innit bit Nisbit?

The Green Machine
1 day ago

Who here trusts the American government?

Who here trusts the pharmaceutical companies?

Or the British Government?

Anyone ..?

Genuine question.

How many of you trust any one, or all three, from above?

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Who here is useless and unfit for purpose?
It can only be Useless himself!

That’s why his burd is aye shouting
Tae ivdae
’Please pump us!’

Cos Useless has nae baws himself

For if he were a man
Who knows the randan

He’d be too busy doing the do

Tae come ontae a blog

And act like a k n o b

’Stead a mixing his ain missus’ glue

And aul’ Useless know the truth ae it noo

The noo

Aye, aul’ Useless knows the truth ae it noo

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago

Your team is 2-0 down to Lyon

We can see you are hurting

Tinfoil tears

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Eh, what ..?

Your only response to my relentless 50 hours of pisstaking out of you is to ‘Go All Monty’ on us and try to call me a Hun?!

That’s it?

Thats all you’ve got?!

Ffs, Useless, now you’ve just proven to the entire blog and its mother just how totally and utterly brainless and USELESS that you totally and utterly are.

You sad sad sad little man.

The Green Machine
1 day ago

‘Tinfoil tears’, Useless ..?

So you think tinfoil can cry now, do you?

Poor you.

What else can tinfoil do, Useless?

You seem to really like it a lot and seem to have imbued it with some extraordinary emotional qualities so do tell us what else tinfoil can do, thanks.

What does it do for you that you’re so obsessed with it that you have to mention it in every post ..?

It’s really quite fascinating to watch such an obsession unfold before us.

Sad, yes, pathetic, indeed, but fascinating too …

So does the tinfoil do for you, Useless?

Apart from cry and demand an airing every time you come onto ETims ..?

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Aye, praise be tae jays you came back on, Useless, I’ve been quite depressed since Dom McKay left like that and since everybody has realised what they’re dealing with should they try tae wind up The Green Machine it’s been a real blessing tae know there’s still enough daft clowns like yourself knocking about for me to huv a right good laugh at and raise the aul’ spirits a bit.

I mean, what is this life without love, laughter & song but an endless meaningless chore, just like your missus huz tae ignore every time you try tae make a half @rsed move on her?

So cheers for coming back on, Useless, the site was getting a bit boring and stale without Monti, Red, Mike, Charlie Spunkin Duncan Saiz et al tae wind up and I thank my lucky stars sometimes that there’s always another bam upcoming who I can knock the fvck about for a bit while getting on with all the rest of it.

And here’s the funniest thing of all, Useless …

You asked for it.

You asked for it, fool, just like all the rest, and this is you now getting it.

Now tell me, Useless, in fact, tell all the readers of the blog who are currently laughing their own baws aff at your stupidity ..l

How dae ye like it?

How dae ye like getting hit with what ye asked for with a lot more on top & besides?

Does it feel good, aye?

Is it what ye expected or wished for?

Or does it make ye feel like total shite as ye now fully realise just what a dumb fool you really are?

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago

I feel mainly pity for you.

87 posts on this page , and 42 (and counting!) of them are from you.

Unhinged would be the polite way to describe you.

Most of your 42 posts relate to you imagining about shagging a person you don’t know and will never know.

Its all in your head.

And i assume you are a grown man
.
Which makes it all the more pitiful.

But if it stops you being out in the real world , with that mad head of yours, then its probably better your here.

Pity but no sympathy.

Tinfoil.

Iancelt67
3 days ago

Too much nonsense on this site. Used to be lively with funny and smart commentary. We have just had a thrilling euro game. Now it just girly attacks and psychobabble enough enough

sfa unfit for purpose
3 days ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

He will post his babbling shite regardless of what you , me or anyone else says about it
If you ignore it , he will still embarrass himself and flood the site daily.

He’s done it on every site he has sullied with his presence .

If he’s gonna troll me then i’ll continue to play him like a puppet.

He must be up to 50 posts here out of under 100.

Unhealthy.

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Name the sites, Useless.

Name them for us, smart@rse.

The Green Machine
2 days ago

Feels healthy enough tae me, mate.

You just don’t get the joke.

Would you like me to explain it to ye, Useless?

Would you like me to explain the joke ..?

portpower
3 days ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

The Green Machine III will disambiguate.
TGM wants his global media back.

He creates great things.

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  portpower

He does indeed, Port, he does indeed.

If only you lot knew the half of it …

But TGM has never disintegrated in any blog nor against anyone.

But they have.

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Sorry, port, I read you wrong, I can disambiguate the media very well, it’s that they’re always up to semantics …

portpower
3 days ago

Its like sitting with you out on. :)

Rhythm to supplement of that of the parade that passes.

Whos to take the minutes ?
What would you do if you were just elected to be the Boss ?

I`ld be holding on.

portpower
3 days ago
Reply to  portpower

Structure, jesso.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

Semantics, semantics, I’m always up to semantics!

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

I’d do the thing that needs the doing then I’d do it all over again.

Wouldn’t let a Hunner near it dough, too much reek of the cabal’s corruption everywhere those scammers go.

portpower
3 days ago

Are you built like a brick shithouse and can you play the middle of the midfield for Ange ?

Mooy the merry.

Celtic shall be a team of Aussie office settlers.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

I am indeed but I’d need like built men around me and there’s not a one to be found anywhere …

They’re aw too busy wetting themselves oer the common cauld, the d1cks.

Ask Useless, he knows how long I’ve been trying.

Nah, he doesn’t, he’s only bluffing, he hasn’t a clue about anything, except he might well suspect sumdy’s banging his wife.

These past coupla nights at least …

Dain’t ye, Useless? 😀

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

Besides, I’ve always played attacking right back as no midfielder either likes nor expects a defender to also suddenly turn into an attacker.

But that’s the way it’s been all my life, coming fae where Ah come fae, Humphrey.

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

Well it’s not my fault that Useless is such a big girl, Ian.

As for ‘smart commentary’ you must be missing Gringo, Garrincha, Gary Baldy or maybe Big Don Gazpachio, yeah ..?

Don’t you worry, mate, you’ll see them around again.

😉

The Green Machine
2 days ago

Indeed, Ian, they’re always around, ye just huv tae know where tae look for them, jist like everything else …

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

Well, you can’t call The Green Machine anything but lively.

Indeed, given the fact that he’s contributed around half the posts on this thread, most of them playing on Useless’ stupidity and the fact his wife’s a right goer I’d say Ralph should give him an award for being ‘ETims’ Liveliest Ever Poster’ the. send it to Useless here as ol’ Green Machine doesn’t really need awards as he already know how lively he is.

And so does Useless’ missus!

Da Boom! Tsk!

😀

The Green Machine
3 days ago

Im just ripping the piss, mate.

Whats your excuse for your repeated use (lessness) of the word Tinfoil?

What does it mean and why do you keep using it?

Is it an homage to your dearly beloved Charlie Saiz?

Is it that you use it to cook yer crack with?

What is it, Useless, tell us, the blog demands to know …

What is your perpetual obsession with the word Tinfoil?

Because out of all the piss poor post you’ve sent it’s in over two thirds of them.

What does it mean, mate, what does it mean?

The Green Machine
2 days ago

You feel ‘manly pity’ for me, Useless?!

But how can you feel ‘manly pity’ for anybody when ye’ve nae baws yirsel, mate ..?

Asking for yer missus …

Broxburnbhoy
3 days ago

Cuckoo cuckoo!

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  Broxburnbhoy

What’s up wae you now, monkey?

Missing yer bird?

BroxburnBhoy
1 day ago

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

The Green Machine
1 day ago
Reply to  BroxburnBhoy

Aye, thought so, ye’re missing yer bird and it’s driving ye cuckoo.

She was only ever in yer head to begin with, mate.

You know it yirself.

TicToc
3 days ago

HaHaHa! Fate, you are ONE bad lady!
The new huns’ Taver-pen ironically OGs in 55th minute!
Now Taver-pen’s OG in 55 minutes is true.
Winning 55 annual titles in 9 years is demonstrably NOT true.
Awww, “……the perr wee cunt(s)……” (a la Trainspotting)……

TicToc
3 days ago

HaHaHa! Fate, you are ONE bad lady!
The new huns’ Taver-pen ironically OGs in 55th minute!
Now Taver-pen’s OG in 55 minutes is true.
Winning 55 annual titles in 9 years is demonstrably NOT true.
Awww, “……the perr wee c**t(s)……” (a la Trainspotting)……

Amended with stars, to baffle the inconstrutable ones?

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  TicToc

If we add 5 + 5 we get 10 and if you take 0 away fae 10 ye get 1 …

So it all makes a weird kind of sense if you look at it Masonically.

TicToc
3 days ago

So, on reflection, we go 2-0 up away from home vs a decent La Liga side.
An ‘old head’, Pelligrini, sees our weaknesses and advises his players how to exploit them.
Bang, bang, bang,…..bang! Not knocking AP, nor will I. Good guy. Brought in some ‘out-yer-seat’
players. However, good defenders understand and carry out their job; was what I witnessed temporary lapses x 4? Naw.
Our defensive ‘coach’ and ex-centre-back, Kennedy, proves he’s a wage too many but is very useful to his mentor, nay, his boss, Lawwell.
Look for shit at Celtic FC and Lawwell’s NEVER far. Nor Desmond. (PLC vs FC)
Time for change, any old way……………and loose.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  TicToc

But …

TicToc
3 days ago

Caption:
The weird-looking, muff-eating spider is captured on film for the 1st time, just before he turns left and enjoys breakfast, lunch and dinner, as the beauty gets thinner……..et al!

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  TicToc

Ye still wid though …

portpower
3 days ago

sevconians,

Q. Are you ever gonna see your Rangers again ?

A. No way, get effed, eff off.

sevco besieged FC.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

They cannot ever for they are dead.

I’m dancing on their grave the noo but the old farts on here are too old tae notice,

portpower
3 days ago

Lacking Pedro.

And then…a sense of Celtic certitude.

portpower
3 days ago

Has there been any off the cuff disgust from Neil or Chris?

A board member of the Rangers International Football Club made it public that their kind are a security risk at Ibrox Stadium.

Shall UEFA be found wanting ?

The Green Machine
3 days ago
Reply to  portpower

When are they not?

portpower
3 days ago

When they those an once in a life time caught manipulating the reciprocating appropriation of. Professional Legacy.

God Bless Iceland.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

He does.

But not Scotland.

The geysers are too dirty.

portpower
3 days ago

Caption:
Cry for help.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

Hi to whelp and hello Jean.

Sorry, well oh well & Hy Giene

portpower
3 days ago

On the corridor Wall of Ibrox:

“Union Bears, Parental Approval.”

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

Onion

The Green Machine
2 days ago

Onion r in gs require mental hip to flip combobulation

The Green Machine
2 days ago

R IN GS!!!

We can’t write the word R IN GS on ETims?!?!

What the suffering fvck, Ralph, really?!

portpower
2 days ago

You`re to get it good

The Green Machine
1 day ago
Reply to  portpower

Am I, port?

Fae who?

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

In the corridors of power, ugly has the hour.

portpower
3 days ago

Mark Dingwall, I am I said, has gone schismatic. Faction Faction.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

Dark Mingwall

portpower
3 days ago

Oh ffs, James McCathy is no different of a favour from those before.

That he is a Celtic Man that deserves the strip when finished that he has accomplished elsewhere.

Where the eff were you at 22, James. A deal within?

Eff me, he couldn`t make it from one side of the centre circle to the other. We are mugs here.

Good back pass.

portpower
3 days ago
Reply to  portpower

of*

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

I could have told anyone that.

But why bother?

The Green Machine
2 days ago

Innit funny how it’s all the Irish lads like the Keanes et all who declare their undying love for Celtic but wait til they’re finished to get there?

We’ve been taken for mugs for decades, Port, that’s why I’m so fvckin angry.

portpower
3 days ago

Excuse me please.
Have you been telt by The rangers fc media lately ?

If so, ring Hampden Park offices and dont go remembering that trip adviser tells all that the surface is grass.

You ger guys complain how much you hate it here, and then dont even have the guts to leave

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

They literally hate that the grass is green, and not just on the other side

The Green Machine
1 day ago

I just love how Useless’ only means of response is a jabbing clumsy self exposing Thumbs Down on every single comment ol’ Green Machine writes …

He’s so fvcking dumb he doesn’t even realise how much he’s giving himself away every time.

And this is how we know it was Useless that Thumbed Down my RIP message to Turnbull Hutton the other night.

And I’m never gonna let him forget it.

portpower
3 days ago

And the sevco FC cry is…I can not dance today, i`ve pre- registered for Typhus.com/rangers shares.

The Green Machine
2 days ago
Reply to  portpower

The cry was Mo Surrendered

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/