What you going to do?
I dont know
But you said it would be okay
I know
But you said you could sort it
I know
But you said
I KNOW WHAT I SAID!, leave it will you. Im trying to think here.
But what happened?
I dont know alright, i just dont know
How can you not know?
How can I not know, what sort of question is that?
Well you said it was straightforward enough
I know
You said you would just go back, get the 50 grand a year while you got the low down
I know
So how did it end up with you here?
I dont know
I dont understand, did they force you out?
Not exactly
Did they demote you?
No
What then?
The reverse
The what?
They made me the boss
Oh, well then, but wait, I really dont understand
They made me what I thought was the Boss but i wasnt the Boss
Did you act like the boss?
In front of the punters aye
So?
Behind the scenes I had nothing
But you were head of the board
I know
So how did you have nothing
Because they were just at the wind up
Who?
You know who, them
Who?, the guys who take aw the money and give nothing in return?
Aye
Irony eh
Enough of that crap you
So, what now?
Well its back to Square one
Whats that?
We support the other guys
What other guys?
Mind the guys we supported the first time?
First time what?
The first time the club ended up the creek without a paddle
Those guys?, but haud oan
What?
I thought you left those guys to jump ship wae the other guys?
I did
And now the other guys have kicked you out?
Naw, I left
I say potato, you say potatoh the bluebells
Whatever
So the old guys you left to go wae the new guys are now the new guys again?
Something like that
And whats happening now?
I dont know
What do you mean you dont know?
I dont know alright. They say they want change
Change, how much they got?
Nothing
What?
They arent offering money, they just want change
This the same guys who didnt have any money the last time?
Aye
And include the guy who was on the Board back when we spent aw the money ourselves?
Aye
And they think its going to change cause they ask for it?
They hope so
How?
They have the fans backing
The fans? That the same fans who have backed every Tom Dick and Harry who have stepped up to the door?
Well, everyone bar John Broon, aye
The fans who keep wanting represented on the board, is the new mob giving them that?
I dont think so
So nothing changed then, same faces, same patter
Well Dave King says hes interested
He still around banging his vuvuzela?
Aye, says he cant see any problem with SFA checks regards decent and proper either
Well maybe Campbell can check for him, he survived awright
Aye
What about Sally?
What about him?
He backing new guys?
No yet
No yet?
Well he has to play it cool doesnt he?
How come?
Well if he says anything then the current mob can sack him
They havenae sacked him yet after yet another cup shambles, they willnae dae it now surely?
They will if it saves them redundancy
Ah, so he had the Chairmans backing?
No quite
How no?
Ive left.
Oh! So anyone backing him?
Aye
Who?
Charles Green
Hold it, Charles Green?
Aye
He no in Bongo Bongo land or his French villa?
Naw, hes back
Back where?
At Rangers
What?
Aye
Doing what?
Generating interest in the clubs shares
What?
Hes hired as a consultant
For whom?, the club or his mates or is it all the same thing these days?
Well good question, Hes saying 14 million will get some shares bought.
Really?
They worth it?
No really?
Ah,I remember his prospectus, I take it they are worth a lot more?
No really, half that if youre lucky. Holding company shares have plummented since the IPO.
Wow, much did his mob pay for the shares mind, they must be taking a big hit then?
No really?
What?
They all got loads and loadsa shares when they slipped in, all at a discount rate
Oh, so a chance they might break even if theyre lucky?
Naw, they’ll make a killing probably
How did this happen?
Their discount rate was next to nowt
So theyre still quids in and the punters are gubbed. How did that happen?
I dont know
Is that all you can say, I dont know
Feels like it
So what now?
Golf for a few weeks and then we will see what happens with the EGM
EGM?
Dont ask, I dont know!
Forget it. Do us both a favour and just lets get up the road, this is embarrassing
Aye, sorry
Save it!
The tired old man sighed heavily and shamefully lowered his gaze. He reached out his hand and turned on the cold tap. He lowered his head and splashed the water on his face, carefully avoiding his spotless clothes. The cool fresh water felt good; this was the first time he had felt aware in a long time. He rose from his position and dried himself off with a nearby towel.
It was time to go.
He knew it, they knew it, everyone knew it.
Would he ever be back?. Well they had seen him go plenty of times, and of course he’d always made it back. He had always survived, in fact somehow he always got plaudits regardless of whatever calamity had lay at his feet when he walked away. Would they ever learn? He doubted it. He took one last look at the mirror and headed once again for the marble staircase and the exit door beyond.
That was hilarious, my eyes were steaming, fantastic, keep them coming,you should be on the telly( for our younger readers that is the television)That is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time.
HH, keep the faith.
Europe till Xmass at least
Absolutely superb and very visual. Keep these coming all day long. Loved it from start to finish. HH
Guys, well done. Not many people get what they have done. They have probably bought the club cheap, floated it, taking out a lot of money for the original sevco shareholders and leaving a but in for working capital. I’d love to see their cash flows. Classic. This move has happened in lots of different situations and companies. Not illegal unless they are proven to gsve wrongfully traded as Directors and there is a lot of daylight between the float and the future administration so no problemo; unless you are an investor who has seen his cash pissed away or a fan who can’t stomach another administration process.
No bad eh?
One of the cleverest, funniest posts I have ever read. A touch of Camus about the style!? First class.
That was fantastic, best thing i’ve read for a while HH
Don’t blame King. Vuvuzela’s got a great booty on her! 🙂
Really good article. Facts do not seem to dent the dreamworld of Scottish Journalism and the Sevco fan.
But we can still laugh at them. The humour here is very sly- in the good sense of the word.