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Celtic Diary Friday October 12

The SFA have decided not to find Celtic guilty over the alleged offensive banner on display at the game against Norwich back in July at Celtic Park. The banner, which depicted fans of former rivals Rangers as zombies, re-emerging from the grave before being shot at by a concerned civilian, was the subject of a few complaints, presumably from Rangers supporters who are quite delicate little cherubs, and always use humour in their own banners, which are designed specifically not to offend anyone. “Fenian Free in Division Three” had us rolling in the aisles, but to be fair , not as much as “Walter-you’re a legned” amongst other timeless classics.

Celtic were facing four charges, relating to letting the banner be displayed, not taking it off the offenders, and letting them show it again. The SFA decided to drop several charges before the hearing , and dismissed those left during it. A spokesman for the club added to the official baffflement, which questioned the need for a hearing in the first place, by saying the” SFA were full of shite and are nothing but a bunch of bitter huns.” Actually, although he told us he was a spokesman for the club, we are fairly convinced he wasn’t. And we suspect he had been drinking. A lot.

Its nice to see the angle the press have taken-not one reports along the lines of “Banner charges dismissed”. Instead Celtic have “escaped punishment, ” “escaped censure”, ” escaped SFA rap” and “Wormed their way out of it again, the fenian bassas”

As you probably know, Wales and Scotland clash tonight in Cardiff, and supporters going to the game have been warnewd about groups of huge welsh fans who force visiting fans to pronounce some of the place names down there, and have been known to burst into song at the drop of a hat , forcing innocent bystanders to join in. Be careful out there.

Manager Craig Levein is wary of Wales, claiming that after a poor result-Wales lost 6-1 to Serbia-a team will come out to try to rectify it. Other teams, presumably, Craig. A wee snippet, incidentally, has reached us about Kris commons, a fake injury and a trip to Las Vegas that was booked, and the manager apparently knew. If thats true, there has to be a wee bit of sympathy for Levein, which will last right up until the Welsh score tonight.

The only person who looks forward to international matches is the Celtic club doctor, who needs the overtime as he wants to go on a cruise at Christmas.

Whilst this is essentially a Celtic diary, every now and again we turn our attentions to the sad, unfortunate demise of our former rivals Rangers, forced into administration by mismanagement earlier this year. (“sad and unfortunate” in this context meaning “hilarious”)

The time of their flotation on the Alternative Investment market-ie for those clubs without accounts, is drawing near, and spokesman Charles Green, who borrowed some money to buy the assets of the club, has stated his desire to rope in people from the “Rangers diaspora worldwide”, to improve the facilities at the ground, to build a hotel, be the first man on Mars, oh you get the idea. Its almost like we’ve heard it all before somewhere. Except for the bit about a £2 a minute phone  line to put questions to the manager. “Hello, Ally, can I assure you of my full and unswerving support? Love, Declan”

He still thinks he can raise £20m to move the club forward, and yet no-one in the Scottish mainstream media has yet told him that it might not be possible. Celtic, the only other club of comparable size is valued at around £33m, and has a considerably higher income from season books, tv, advertising, and of course, European money. The latter will not be available to Rangers for some time, firstly because they do not have the required three years of accounts to participate, and secondly, because Ally McCoist is the manager.

So, with 26,000 shareholders of the old Rangers being asked to “reinvest”-ie chuck their money away again, is it really a viable option for those stauch, loyal supporters?

“Questor”, who advises on these things for the Telgraph newspaper, and should know a thing or two, is cautious. Actually, he is a little more than cautious, although he is cautious about all football investments, claiming that you would get a better return if you took out Sky Sports. However, he mentions that there is a chance to bankroll the famous old clubs revival, and possibly even dividends in the future…but finishes by warning investors off.

Green has also denied claims that the money is needed to keep the club afloat, as some harsh commentators are suggesting, and will also be adamant that its not to get his own money back out quickly…, because of course its not, and his intentions are purely honourable, he does want to turn the club around and put it on a sound financial footing, a statement which will satisfy our lawyers.

Meanwhile, manager McCoist has been all a-texter, as all people do when no-one wants to talk to them, and told Jim Traynor, the equally popular reporter, that “the fight starts here”

He was dictating it as his podgy little thumbs cannot work his phone. What he really said was “The shite starts here”, meaning there was to be quite a few texts for Traynor to look forward to.

Anyway, when those shares do come out, they will be traded in Euros only, as they cannot handle Stirling.


The Lurgan Tiger was first again to remind us that none of the Lisbon Lions made the hall of fame, as they were unlucky to be on the scene at the same time as a great Rangers side, and today, still on the international theme, which current Celt has played the most for his country?






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10 years ago

Gorgeous georgious samaras

Or gary hooper??!!

Iljas Baker
10 years ago

Big Sammy for sure.

10 years ago

Is it big Mickey Lustig?

Egg Chaser
10 years ago

Scott Brown?

the lurgan tiger
10 years ago

Gotta be Sammi.

Or mibees Izzy.

Or Miku

Garry Fitz
10 years ago

Current Celt? got to be Mjallby…

10 years ago

My first thought was Broonie, but I’ll take Sammi.

the lurgan tiger
10 years ago

Ahhhh. A wee trick question methinks.

Its Pauline Hamill. Celtic ladies. She has got a bazzillion caps. Or a hundred odd

the lurgan tiger
10 years ago

Apart from the fact it say his country.

10 years ago

as an aside, what constitutes an offensive banner ? is it a banner that any memeber of the public finds offensive? like fenian free or BJK, or is it anyhing that’s offensivw to the SFA/SPL? If it;s the latter, we’ll have to remove any banners that mention champions or champions league or even just Celtic.
Anyway, it really was a serious question, does anyone know what constitutes offensive – is it what the SFA/SPL classify as offensive or is it anything that a memeber of the public find offensive?
and it’s got to be Samaras as most capped

10 years ago

and current, so, his and current

10 years ago

Well said Andy! I have e mailed and sent a letter to the SFA. I await a response…. we should all do the same.Should I get a response I will let you all know.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at