By Jack Christopher MBE
Loyal Rangers supporters have opened their own glorious shop the Sons of Struth William continue to boycott official club company outlets.
The Rangers Supporters Trust will now offer fans an incredible chance to buy club company team-themed merchandise at the non-Catholic school across from the stadium and the ingenious scheme could be rolled out to other organisations such as the Orange Order, Ku Klux Klan and UKIP to raise funds for the club company team RST.
Some profits from the sales will be used to invest in a future share issue being championed by Rangers saviour Mr King while a significant proportion will be used to purchase Mark Dingwall a supersize royal blue mankini.
The settlement of the £5m loan to Ashley will see Rangers’ key assets like Murray Park, Edmiston House and the Loving Cup returned to the club and mean the evil Sports Direct owner will no longer have control over their registered trademarks.
An RST spokesman told the Day Late Ranger: “Look, we only do what Mr King tells us. It’s simple, just like us. If he asked us to sit in a corner all day and fart we’d do it. Well Mark would anyway”.
“If you want to see your money going towards the club company just give it to us and we’ll look after it. It will be sitting nice and safe next to the fighting fund and our brand sparkling new angry bucket”.
“We are selling good stuff for £20 and making a tenners profit that will go into a secret fund. This is a good way of getting money to us in cash that is hard to trace and easy to transfer around from pocket to pocket thus cutting out the middle man. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink how’s your mother?
“The message has got to get through to those idiot Rangers supporters that if you buy official merchandise it hurts Rangers and helps us. It really is that simple.
“The next message is We are the People, every other club in Scotland is to blame for our problems and you are gullible fools if you believe a word we say. Please edit the last line out Chris”.
The RST – Fine Upstanding Dignified Supporters