(Part 1) The greedy old Dragon, Smugg of T’Board is under pressure from the Money Lenders after devouring all the gold. Can anyone save the people in the land of Para D’Ice?
Somewhere a hero from afar hears a calling….
It was just another typical day in the north-westernmost shire of Kanahda as the tall man made his way to discuss an adventure with his small beloved companion. The small companion’s daily game of Wackahole had just begun when his little hairy ears heard a voice whisper to him on the wind. It said “The time is now Fergo GolfBaggins, Your quest begins tonight”. The creature turned and smiled.
In front of Fergo, there stood Dempster, his tall grey friend who had been away watching over events in the far away lair of the Dragon. Fergo liked Dempster but in truth all that whispering on the wind pish was starting to get on his nerves.
“Dempster The Grey Quiff!, Oh You’re back! How blessed am I for you to travel on your great silver steed EconomyPlus to do my limited travel expenses bidding. Oh it is great to see you my giant magical friend, come tell me your tale!” said the excited Fergo who handed his Wackahole club to a waiting steward who took it and turned away for he knew better than to expect any coin for his troubles.
Dempster smiled at Fergo in return and he and the small hairy Fergo headed off towards the Bucks Star Inn to discuss the Dragons peril over cups of Mead. Dempster liked his small companion. Where Dempsters money magic was good, his ability and long arms were limited and he knew only a powerful mystical money creature like Fergo could defeat a beast like Smugg of T’Board and the sidekick M’Kel.
In truth, Dempster hadn’t always thought this way.
For many moons before, Dempster had thought he could succeed alone and had even discussed his plan with Fergo. Dempster had had his own dream of saving the people of Para D’ice. He told Fergo of his dream about taking the people of Para D’ice away up to the Town of Robroize in the Northern East Shire where coincidentally Dempster just happened to own a field or 2.
On hearing the plan, the wise but blunt Fergo had laughed loudly and quickly pointed out that Dempsters plan was laden with more urine than an incontinent Ork during the Feast of the Marble Staircase. The despondent Dempster soon saw how his plan was forever doomed to failure. Thus, reluctantly but realistically, Dempster The Grey Quiff, abandoned his plan and pledged allegiance to the brave and brilliant Fergo GolfBaggins.
Fergo took his seat while the standing Dempster counted his florins wondering how he had been stung for the cups of Mead again. Dempster was positive he had gotten them last time, and in fact the time before that, and that time wee Fergo had also got one of those Brandleberry Muffin too if he remembered rightly. While Dempster stood cursing to himself that he should have got a receipt, the abrupt Fergo called for his grey companion to sit and give him an urgent update.
Dempster finally composed himself, muttered something about a poxy muffin and having gave his lucky Grey Quiff one last straighten, began to speak. “The time has come Fergo. You and your magic book of Check and your Plan of ShareDeal must come with me to the land of Para D’ice. Make no mistake, it will be tough, it will be ugly, especially the Gate of Gallows during Fair weekend but go we must. The time is now, now or indeed, never!”
“Have they got any muffins” replied Fergo, looking back across to the inn counter.
Dempster sighed and drew out his remaining florins as he arose to go sate Fergo’s sweet tooth.
After 5 mins of watching Fergo devour the muffin, Dempsey knew no piece would be offered of course, Fergo wiped his lips free of crumbs and asked “So the rumours of the MoneyLenders scheme are true?”. “Worse than true” replied Dempster, attempting to ignore the sudden smell of Brandleberries in the air, “it seems they are ready to march on the Dragon this very week, I fear we may have left it too late!” said the tall grey man. “Never fear” exclaimed Golfbaggins, “for I have already put the plan into place. A friend named Keen John of Truetimaloy watches from within the Dragons walls for us and will stall any attempts by the moneylenders to take true control. They may wish to leave the lands open for the Orks of Teninrow but that wont happen and Keen John will help make sure of it. He will buy us our time”.
Rising to his feet, Fergo smiled and said “Come brave Dempster, it is indeed time for us to head for Para D’ice”. Dempster smiled at the complement. As he began to rise, he noticed how his little companion seemed to be looking beyond him, off towards the distant horizon. “Perhaps he is looking to what the future holds” thought the grey Dempster but instead Fergo said “Oh and can you grab me a couple of slices of Mulberry Cake for the journey, I just need to pop to the loo, I’ll meet you up at the departure point”. Dempster let out his usual sigh and headed towards the counter.
This time he would definitely be getting a receipt.
Dempster awaited at the departure point and smiled when he saw Fergo approach just before sunset. Fergo as usual was travelling light, a simple bag of simple clothes and his flat cap. Fergo was no man for dandiness or frills, except of course when it came to playing Wackahole where his clothes were often good for a laugh. Sometimes he even wore the Tanks’o’Top and Kardeegans like those worn by the silly Watty people of the south west shire. “But at least I don’t wear those daft brown shoes” would be Fergos loud reply when anyone dared compare such ensembles.
“Will anyone be joining us?” asked Dempster the Grey for he doubted that just he and Fergo could match up to the Dragon and M’kel along with the might of the Moneylenders. “Fear not my grey quiffed friend” replied Fergo “For I have already conspired with the perfect accomplices for this epic quest and our champion is already engaged!”
“Do you mean Hawhay the rich Ice Air City King ?” asked Dempster the Grey.
“He is on side. For now” replied Fergo before concluding “but he is not of whom I speak”.
Dempster pondered and then asked “Is it rich old Jer A’ld of the Whine Stein, the Lord of the Golden Bergland?”. At this, Fergo looked up and said “He will not oppose us but no, he is not our champion”.
Dempster could think of no more rich Adversaries and shrugged.
Fergo laughed and shook his companion on the shoulder “Oh Dempster, you summise that riches will be needed to win this war, the answer to that is Yes and No. The riches in coin are mere tools but the real riches are the people. Tis the People of Para D’Ice who win this war with and for us. And that is with whom I have engaged!”.
Dempster was astounded “The People, but the people have no more to give!”.
Fergo again laughed, this time even louder than before. He smiled and said “Oh Dempster, the people of Para D’ice will never stop giving if they truly believe. Right now Miglone, Herald of the Mattlands and his crew are rallying the troops to our message. Rebels they are calling us, and the rebel cry sings loud for us 4 to now ride upon the Dragon and claim our victory!”.
“Us 4?” queried Dempster. “Theres you, me and McGinn of the Mattlands, thats only 3, who is the other one?”
“oh Elspeth. A fair cruncher of the numbers and scriber of the rules, and shes no just some burd I fancy awright!” replied Fergo with a wink who then picked up his bag and made his way onto the silver carriage bound for Para D’ice.
Dempster gathered his comb and other items and made his way onto the long silver carriage. He could feel his nerves flutter in his stomach like butterflies.
“You nervous?” asked Fergo
“A little” replied Dempster the Grey.
“You should have got yourself some Mulberry bread” replied Fergo nodding towards the Deli package in Dempsters hand. “It works a treat. Night night, wake me up when we get there”
Dempster smiled as he watched his little dogged companion turn and close his pin-dot like eyes. Dempster tucked the blankets in around Fergo, before leaving the Mulberry bread by his pillow. Dempster then made his way out from the plush cabin area and back towards the less favourable economyplus region of the carriage.
But Dempster didnt mind.
After all everyone had to make sacrifices, there was a war on!
And the main battle was just about to take place!
Click for Part 3
Very clever..I love it… And as a published author myself…can I ask..
Are you likewise…?
‘Tis all I’ll ask…forsooth.
Published no, unless you count Not The View using my old ‘Stan’ Songs to Sing many moons ago.
I used to write gags for Off the Ball but thats as far as it goes bar sick twisted lyrics for musician mates comedy albums.
was checking another CB to replace Virgil…
I contributed to NTV as well…long time ago.
PS:Your stuff is good mate.