Here’s an idea.
An irreverent daily look at the news and views around the world of Celtic Football club.
“It’s already been done ” I hearyou cry.
Well, let’s see if we can do it again, without interruptions from the world of Raplh Malph.
As you’re well aware, Celtic finished the season one trophy short of a treble. Rather than be seen as a failure, maybe we should see this as indicative of how difficult it it to actually secure a treble, given that all it takes is one poor performance, one bad decision or one Danish goalkeeper flinging one into the net to scupper our dreams.
Celtic weren’t that bad in the Scottish cup final, though it might have helped if the manager had made his charges more aware of the fact that they had ruined what was a promising season for Aberdeen when they trounced them in the League Cup, after the dons had put up a fine show against them in the league, matching them point for point until that, er, point.
The cynical tackle on Reo Hatate which put him out of the final was also another sign that Aberdeen were up for the cup, and although it went to penalties, which their eight at the back tactic suggested they were playing for, Celtic again spent too much time in a low gear to actually win the game.
We really need to start moving the ball forward quicker, In fact, moving it forward every now and again would be a considerable improvement.
The League Cup final also went to penalties, after a 3-3 draw with cash strapped plucky newcomers “rangers “, who still don;t deserve a capital letter. Celtic won on that occasion, but again it showed how easy it can be not to win a Cup.
All of which kind of shoots down the theory of tedious trebles, and also points the finger at those in the support who may have adopted a feeling that borders on entitlement.
Fair enough, we want to win everything we enter, if you don;t count the Champions League, but sometimes you don’t. Which , in the long term should suggest that we enjoy the ones we win, and not harp on about the ones we lose.
Speaking of the Champions League campaign, which was deemed a success as the hoops qualified from the group stage into the knockout rounds, it’s maybe time to cast a more forensic eye on the performances.
With only eight teams being eliminated after a plethora of games, and each game more of a cup tie than a league match, it probably would have been harder not to make the play offs, and some might argue a little bit more of a cup tie attitude in some of the games, Bruges, Croatia Zagreb, Aston Villa, would have seen Celtic finish higher.
There seemed to be a plan to just make the play offs, the sale of Kyogo Fuhruhashi adds to that argument, and then to sort of see how it goes.
The defeat to Bayern Munich in Glasgow was preceded by an aura of let’s hope we don’t get gubbed so that we’re still in with a chance in Munich, which was a bizarre sort of logic when combined with the completely different mindset of the return leg, which saw the high of taking the lead through Kuhn, to the devastating low of the defence forgetting who was supposed to do what for the equaliser that sent Celtic out of the tournament, head held high, but not as high as some eyebrows.
We could have done better, but seemed more afraid of losing than trying to win.
Looking back at the Ange Postecoglou years, he was criticised for being too adventurous, but with a piss poor Tottenham side he got his hands on a European trophy.
I knew he would, I’d just kind of hoped it would have been with us.
Next season, especially in Europe, we need to be a little bit more cavalier, a little more incisive and rause the game to a tempo others find it difficult to live with…see the Leipzig game for what can happen. Alright, everyone else might have beaten the Germans as well, but the point still stands.
Probably.
Can we do that with this squad ? Do we need to freshen up a bit ?
Maybe so. Kasper Schmeichel, despite occasional moments of brilliance, always had a Gordon Marshall moment in him. It’s just a pity it had to be late on in a cup final. Maybe it’s time to give Scott Bain a run in the team.
Don’t worry, he’s been told he can find another club. He’ll probably drop it when he does find it, but we wish him well.
Viljami Sinisalo is due a run in the team, say for about ten years or so. Schmeichel can be back up, and with Ross Doohan returning to the club we should be alright for goalies.
Someone else returning to the club after his five year loan at Arsenal is Keiran Tierney. hopefully, their medical centre is better than ours and we get the added bonus of them doing a bit of work on his dodgy hip so he can manage at least one game a week. Whether or not Greg Taylor is going to sign a new deal and compete for a spot in the team is still undecided, as, indeed, is whether or not Jeffrey Schlupp will agree a Pay-as-long -as -you-don’t-make -an-arse-of-it deal.
Which is unlikely, as he’d end up owing the club money
Which brings us to Cameron Carter Vickers, and the endless search for a partner alongside him in the centre of defence. Increasingly, it’s looking like occasionally sticking his leg in front of a forward’s attempt at goal is not enough to balance out the shocking lack of concentration he shows at times, which was shown by his own goal for Bruges in the Champions League.
Instead of trying to find someone to make him look good, which has happened now and then, let’s get in two defenders and see if we can get a partnership that works.
Liam Scales, still young and learning would benefit, as he shows considerable promise, and maybe even there is a ready made replacement in Maik Nawrocki…i had to google his first name, which shows how much game time he’s been given….who has done everything asked of him except to be Carter Vickers.
Carter Vickers, along with Kuhn and Taylor is among those we’ve heard are considering their options this summer.
I kind of hope so.
After finding out what it feels like to lose a cup final at last, Calum MacGregor might want to have a look at his role in the team. This is not a criticism, more a suggestion that he plays his own game, as familiarity domestically has lead to contempt..opponents simply mark him out of the game.
Arne Engels is still learning, and should not be written off yet, and whilst Paulo Bernardo hasn’t hit the heights we;d hoped for, there is time yet.
Which leaves us with Reo Hatate. Often crowded out domestically, he needs may well be turning his head to meet the glance northwards of Ange Postecoglou, with sufficient time having elapsed to make it less disatasteful for him to move for either the midfielder, or perhaps more likely, the talismanic Dazen Naeda, who musy sirely be annoyed at being asked to play on the wing to accommodate Adam Idah, who, granted, ran up an impressive goal tally, mostly from the bench, after the pacy forward line had tired out opposition defences .
Which is fair enough, and perhaps that was the plan until Jota got injured, but for £9m you’d have to expect more.
There are a few water carriers, squad players that have played their part and are happy to do so, such as Tony Ralston, James Forrest and Yang, but there is a need for a little more if we are to make a name for ourselves in Europe.
This summer we will have a qualifying game to play, quite possibly against Maccabi Tel Aviv, in which case the club should do the honourable thing and withdraw in protest.
If we avoid the Israelis, Celtic are seeded, which makes no difference anyway, and the sides we could face will be difficult opponents no matter who they are.
And, as usual, most of the transfer business, the real stuff, will be done as soon as we know whether or not we’re playing UCL football.
Though to be honest, given the standard of the Europa League last season, I wouldn’t be overly concerned at a shot at a trophy even Tottenham won.
We’ll wait and see, probably from behind the couch, how it all turns out.
then, fo course, there is the challenge domestically. Aberdeen in the first half of the season looked particularly dangerous, and Hibernian in the second could well point to a challenge from the east, and if “rangers ” can avoid any problems with their ground this time round they might settle in a bit earlier, especially now they’ve been taken over by new owners.
An American consortium, who presumably, with their dads, got a boat over the Atlantic every couple of weeks to watch their heroes grace ( they hate that word ) the hallowed ( and that one ) turf of Ibrox have realsied their dream and bought 51% of shares in “rangers “, for an amount which is rumoured to be the tens of pounds.
There was then rumours of a share issue, even though they quickly changed from a PLC to an LTD company, which would see £20m ploughed into the club, presumably to make sure the stadium can be used and pay some of the bills incurred in £17m of losses last year.
The rest will go on players, such as Lyall Cameron from Dundee, who joins on a free.
Several of the current team have left, or have returned to their parent clubs, and the enigmatic Barry Ferguson has been relieved of his duties as interim manager, along with his coaching staff, who will probably return to their jobs on tv telling managers how to do a job they convincingly failed at themselves.
But somehow, the hordes think that their day has come, even adopting a republican slogan, to Make Rangers Great Again.
They never learn, do they ?
This one has all the sings of ending badly, as there is no clear vision and no forensic investigation as to why from the media.
Still, if it does end badly, let’s hope this time it really is the end, and no more of this same club nonsense.
Even Jesus only came back once.
And so, in the finest traditions of the Diary, here’s a picture to ponder…
Bazza prepares to receive Dessers latest effort on goal.
“Naw, naw, wait, wait. What I said wis does anywan want to see the heid of the 49ers, no……”
Caption:” Gough said he is looking for a ten year old “
Welcome back.
Bazza – I am not worthy
4th official – Aye, yer right there
Caption: I might have only 10 fingers but I um a ranguuurs man
“Scales is young” he’s 26!
Inexperienced would be a better term, as he’s just completed his second full season with us.
Cha, I’d have to say he’s had enough chances and though he’s got some ability he, imo, he’s not Celtic quality most of the time and an outright bombscare some of the time.
I think Nawrocki should be given more chances……FFS they’ve just made one of his family PM or something in Poland so there must be some talent in that bloodline!! 🙂
He’s younger than me. Mind you, so is the Sphinx. And at least two pyramids.
Barry warms his hands on the glow of another burning embarrassment of a home game.
Baz the Bankrupt imagines the day club chairmen clamour around to offer him a managerial position.
Caption: Barry still can’t master “live long and prosper” after many years of trying.
Mind keep your Hands at 10 to 2 when your driving your big orange ranger pickup away from Murray Park
Caption
“Calm doon everybody. Etims won’t be publishing another diary for six months”.
Ach, I suppose biannual is better than biennial.
BTW there were 12 teams from CL eliminated after 1st round of fixtures
You win the prize for first to spot the ‘deliberate’ mistake in today’s ‘Dairy’.
We are not the 49ers .we are the 1690es
I tolt ye’s all, formation today is a 5-5
Great to have the diary back Ralph, hope all is well with you. Looking forward hopefully more, and the occasional Dairy too
With the latest saviours now in control at sevco i’m looking forward to Le Petit Merde scale scarf burning etc when they ban the ‘party tunes’ and refuse to have orange strips… and actually implement their Everyone Anyone initiative. It’s already started, they’ve been softened up with Ibrox being a mosque for a day and the trans stuff – only a matter of time before priests are invited along to say a mass…
Caption: “Calm doon, I should be the rainjurz manager – it isn’t for a rookie who’s never managed in the top flight…”
(Does it count if it’s an actual quote??)
Eh, what was that?
Caption
“This is how I caught the ball in the box
in the Scottish Cup Final “
‘ The enigmatic Barry Ferguson’ priceless. Will he ‘ sing’ on for another season if ‘they’ ( small r) cannot get anyone else?
Sadly I agree with a fair number of your comments, Scales, Nawrocki( now his da is the new President of Poland), will he stay?
The Board splashed the cash on Jota, Idah and Engels do the biscuit tin is hopefully consigned to history. We need a striker, a defensive midfielder cover for Tierney, ideally Taylor but hw goes with respect if he wants to be a 1st choice elsewhere. Reo can leave if we get big money not sure Barnardo or McCowan are potential first choices.
Bazza fergiehun issues the Star Trek “live long and prosper” sign to signal the 221 212 bazzaball formation
Caption :
As Mr Ford said about my pickup:
” Any colour the customer wants, as long as it’s staunch orange”
A welcome return, as we attempt to win our maiden Close Season Cup.
I hate this characterisation, whenever we lose a game. We scored 112 goals in the League and won over 75% of games. That’s great winning attacking football in the vast majority of games.
Yes, every negative game should be analysed to see what we can do better but let’s stop the nonsense that teams have figured us out and know how to stop us. The evidence is there in the League table.
Europe was a success for me, even acknowledging that the new format suited us and the draw was kind to us, as we played 3 of the 5 bottom sides. However, it’s one thing having those favourable conditions and making good on them and that’s what we’ve done.
Apart from the Dortmund drubbing, the only really negative for me was against a weakened Zagreb although, even that, was of little consequence after out win against Berne. Brugge are a far better side than they’re given credit for due to not being from a Big 5 league.
For me, we are playing the new format correctly, as the unseeded play-off placing is our level, if we qualify. Yes, if we can get higher up then go for it but we need to be mindful of missing out complete.
A braver performance is likely to see more Dortmund than Leipzig, so we’re doing it correctly until we can consolidate at our new higher level rather than it being an outlier.
Under Ange’s treble winning stellar second season, we accumulated a measly 2 points and even Brodge’s mediocre first season back doubled that before this season’s further progression. So, I’m happy with the manager and don’t hanker for the soon to be ex-Tottenham manager.
Caption – “It’ll be 10 in a row, if you bassas can me”
Welcome back old friend. 🙁
TLDR I agree with everything you say except where I don’t.
Calm down…..calm down…. If I pretend to be slippy do I get the gig full time.
Great article. Not sure we have any players left worth keeping but I want a chance at the caption so great article. CCV is quality but needs a partner with Trusty being less than and Scales deserving a long career – at Aberdeen. I fear a Brendan Board schism 2 over transfers. If only there was an ex-manager looking for a job….
Caption: Alistair Campbell attends a masterclass in press manipulation.
Caption: British Sign Language has a new way to describe pish.
Caption: Don Robertson: “Sweet jesus, how did that imbecile get to manage my team? Come to think of it how TF did I get to be a ref? Och, of course, all ma ‘brothers’ sorted it out.”
Caption competition:
I finally did it. Look! These fingers are all together and these ones are not.