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Celtic Diary Thursday December 15: Before We Were Rudely Interrupted…

…by the FIFA cash cow, you may remember there was real football.

 

And tonight it’s back, when Hibernian face the all new singing and dancing “rangers “.

 

It kickstarts the season, a season which when we left it had Celtic in a League Cup semi final and a significant nine points in front at the top of the table.

 

 

Our first game is at Aberdeen on Saturday, weather permitting of course, as locals try to scrape the global warming off the pitch….

 

UK odds-on for White Christmas as Pittodrie holds key to forecast -  Aberdeen Live

 

 

I wouldn’t worry, we’re looking at three degrees up there around kick off time. Not even worth wearing a jacket.

 

 

With the exception of Josip Juranovic , Celtic will be at full strength for the game, and the break seems to have done them good, if the amount of negative stories in the papers is anything to go by.

 

 

In fact, there’s been little or nothing about Celtic players ttraining during the break, you could be forgiven for not even knowing they’d been away at a warm weather training camp, which makes me wonder if Ange hasn;t introduced a few new things to the players.

 

 

Coaching never stops, and if it isn;t varied a wee bit, the players get bored.

 

 

I’m looking forward to the game not only because I’m suffering withdrawal symptons, but becuase we hear from the ranch we’re going to try a few variations on the same theme….

 

 

With excitement in the air, however, it’s only fair to admit that there’s a bit of the fear in me.

 

 

Who is Michael Beale? The ex-Chelsea and Liverpool coach playing a key role  in Gerrard's managerial career | Goal.com UK

 

 

With one third of the all conquering triumvirate returning to the scene of their triumph, surely I can;t be the only one changing his underwear three times a day ?

 

 

I’m forced to sleep in my wife’s underwear, such is the shortage, and trust me, taking them down from between the two trees every morning…it’s a hammock…did you think I was some sort of weirdo ?…..is becoming tiresome.

 

 

( I put this in becuase my wife said the diary has popped up on her reddit feed, so although she denies reading it, we shall see….or not …..)

 

 

Male patient with serious burns bandaging lying in hospital bed Stock Photo  - Alamy

 

 

When the holy trinity of Ibrox jumped ship to Aston Villa, it was only after the man widely regarded as the brains of the operation went to QPR that Villa fell apart.

 

Factor in that their replacement at the twat towers lasted only a few months, and you can see why the fear has taken hold.

 

 

As this exclusive footage from their new Auchenhowie security camera shows, they are a force to be reckoned with.

 

 

This, my friends, is Bealeball

 

 

Harry Enfield Kick Off GIF - Harry Enfield Kick Off Football - Discover &  Share GIFs

 

 

Add to that the new sports science department focused on health and fitness, and we’re in trouble.

 

 

 

 

 

No wonder Ange has been quiet….he’s terrified.

 

 

And it makes sense that he is, because not only is Beale back to claim his crown, he’s got the players to do it.

 

 

Image

 

 

Transfermarkt.com, the go to guys for anyone thinking of buying a player from Scotland, have released their latest valuation table, and it makes for scary reading.

 

Ryan Kent, despite being available for the square root of fuck all next month, is still the most valuable player in Scotland. To be honest, even at my valuation he would be a risky investment, as would chubby chuckler Alfredo Morelos.

 

 

You could get them both for free, but no one seems to want them, which was also the case for Conor Goldson, who bizarrely now would fetch a fee according to whoever compiled this.

 

 

Presumably they didn’t watch the World Cup, especially the Croatia games.

 

 

I’ll wager my shiny shilling that when Juranovic goes he’ll bring in more than even the optimistic values of all the Ibrox players on there……in total.

 

Well, nearly.

 

Transfermarkt is a German based website, and presumably they’ve based their valuations after watching a Rangers TV recording of the Dortmund game over there.

 

If that isn’t enough to have you heading behind the couch with a flask of tea and some sandwiches to avoid the inevitable, then there’s this as well….

 

 

Michael Beale bringing back Rangers tradition of brown brogues will see them a

shoo-in for success – Barry Ferguson

 

 

It’s from the Record, which has excelled itself during the break, although it has fallen short of a campaign to simply hand all the trophies over to “rangers ” without the hassle of actually laying any games, presumably because that’s when things start to unravel for them.

 

 

Ferguson said;

 

 

Michael Beale might be a thoroughly modern manager but he has made an old-school decision that had me beaming with pride when he announced it.

You might think this is daft, but Beale ordering the Rangers squad to turn up suited and booted for home games from now on, is massive in my eyes. Wearing a suit, collar and tie and, of course, the brown brogues isn’t going to score you a goal when the match starts but this is a statement about standards.

It would appear the manager gets what the club is all about and he is trying to install the values that, to me, were part of being a Rangers player from the minute I first walked through those famous front doors on Edmiston Drive as a 15-year-old apprentice. On match days, I would be the hamper boy and cleaning up after the games and all that kind of thing, but I used to see the likes of Richard Gough striding through those doors wearing that suit with obvious pride and a look that said “we mean business today”. 

 

I loved it. And it’s right up my street that Beale has brought back the tradition because it’s all about standards and it’s what I wore on matchdays at Ibrox throughout my entire playing career at the club, working under Walter Smith, Dick Advocaat, Alex McLeish and then Walter again.

I’m not sure when the players were allowed to wear tracksuits instead of club suits –

 

they would leave the kebabshop and go home to change into one before returning to start a fight, if I recall correctly

 

and I totally understand that when they are playing away from home and travelling is involved – but for me, it’s great that the new manager has reintroduced it at Ibrox.

Having said that, obviously it’s more important the team does the business when the suit comes off and the kit goes on and I can’t wait to see how they get on against Hibs tomorrow night. I watched some of the new boss’ first game against Leverkusen at the weekend and although you have to take friendlies with a pinch of salt, there were obvious signs Beale’s influence is already working on the team. 

 

 

Barry, of course, has his own footwear of choice

 

 

Clown cannot wear giant shoes due to health and safety

 

 

 

The media are building up Beale.

 

That’s a sure sign of major problems over there.

 

 

He won’t be allowed to spend money on new players, as there isn’t any.

 

He can’t raise any, as they have no saleable assets.

 

 

Tonight, they face Hibernian.

 

By January 3, after they have hosted Celtic, they’ll be calling for his head on a spike.

 

 

Should be a fun few weeks.

 

 

Groucho Marx Dancing GIFs | Tenor

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Woof Charlie
1 month ago

Richard Gough. 15 year old hamper boy. I’ll get my coat.

Boyceybhoy
1 month ago
Reply to  Woof Charlie

Brilliant!!!

Frank McGaaaarvey
1 month ago
Reply to  Woof Charlie

“but I used to see the likes of Richard Gough striding through those doors wearing that suit with obvious pride and a look that said “we mean business today”.

Was that the suit with the arse cut out of it?

1 month ago

The reason we have not read anything about Celtic is Peter Lawwel asked the question
Why are four media outlets paying the rotten mob £100,000 per year and being told what they are allowed to print He was only asking the question ? So they never sent anyone to Portugal and they have not even been to Lennoxtown The best bit is they can’t even print the story because that would be admitting they’re paying them

Binkabhoy
1 month ago
Reply to  Kevin McCarthy

If this is true then I’m entirely happy with that. We don’t need them for ‘news’ any more. In fact if they want to stop coming to Celtic games and pressers I’d be more than happy with that too.

Northamptontim
1 month ago

Lad I knew work in shoe firm that supplied crack pots there shoes from he will be happy overtime for Christmas

Cartvale88
1 month ago

Brown brogues ideal to cover the diarrohea issue. As for the journos as they wallow in their Orange juice baths, they have the same values as the English Media, ‘we are the peepul’, the others are from the hoi polloi.
Looking forward to normal football returning on Saturday, even if it is up in sheepie land

The Cha
1 month ago

I fear that Ralph may need to source himself a 4th pair of daily scuddies else go commando

Beale wants striker Alfredo Morelos to smile more and believes the Colombian and top scorer Antonio Colak can play together. (Scotsman)

A wide smile on the wide boy and a heavyweight and lightweight front 2, we’re doomed I tell ya, doomed.

The Cha
1 month ago

This is an odd article

Scottish Premiership: How does data suggest the top flight will unfold?

bbc.co .uk/sport/football/63974438 (remove space)

Starts off “After 31 long days of pining for the likes of Martindale, Morelos and May”

Mm, not a good start, even keeping alliteration there’s Maeda, Matt O’Reilly and Masters (of the Orange Bastards).

Bizarrely, it only predicts to the split with us top on 84 points and the Huns 2nd with 76.

That means we only get the same number of points (42, dropped 3 in 15 games) in 18 games (drop 12).

Are we going to lose 4 games (2 to brilliant Bealeball, naturally 😉 ) or draw 6 etc?

Conversely, the Huns are due to pick up 43 points, so dropping 9 (as opposed to 12 in 15 games) so far.

I guess, overall, only having our lead cut by 1 point to the new Ibrox Invincibles isn’t too bad and should see us stumble over the finishing line. 🙂

Woof Charlie
1 month ago

John Collins on Morelos, “he’s overweight…he can’t get himself fit?…. he’s not a real professional.” SMSM Omerta gubbed.

henkesdreadlocks
1 month ago

Why no VAR review when Sands punches the ball in the box, yet they ran a review when a shot from outside the box hits a Hibs players midriff. All the clubs need to start calling this shite out now.

TicToc
1 month ago

Aye Henke, but isn’t it “honest mistakes” (even when it’s on video FFS?)
They’re sneaky. They’ve jumped on VAR and employed it.
And our ‘suits’ stand by and wait for Peter to order “stand down” and he will.
I’ve started a series of questions and a dossier on PTL, which I’m prepared to bring up with certain ‘authorities’. But already, (after 10 years), I’ve thought about chucking it. I’ve got so much (and spent so much time on) the original huns demise, so much on various ‘participants’ and I’ve a clue about where to take it but I need help on this. I’ve spoken to ‘good guys’ et cetera but I’m thinking it could end up in vain. Lawwell back at CP might just inspire me enough to bring him down in ashes. I’d say Deo Volente but I don’t believe in that shit, but god willing……

portpower
1 month ago

So,the Michael Bealefly Effect…

sevco aum mantra FC.

We are the Pranava

portpower
1 month ago

Jesso oh, I forgot about him & him.
When they score.

Celts 6-2

SFATHENADIROFCHIFTINESS
1 month ago
Reply to  portpower

Ehh…Shirley you meant the same goat.

Sange Yer Man
1 month ago

The goat is solely relative.

portpower
1 month ago

Psst…

McLean and Clancy are shaggin the same burd in Shotts.

portpower
1 month ago

Ah, juicy fruit, Ange!

portpower
1 month ago

The bidding for Josip Juranovic does not start till Michael Nicholson ‘borrows’ a pen from sevco FC.

portpower
1 month ago

A fortune to be made in the VAR swear jar.

Sharp practice is just banter. We owe nothing to any.

highseastim
1 month ago
Reply to  portpower

Must be baltic in Aberdoom coldest stadium I’ve been in apart from ICT on a cold winter’s day.

Especially if the wind is howlin’ in fae the North sea.

Mike.
1 month ago

Alway’s in our hearts…

TOMMY BURNS QUOTEcc.jpg
TicToc
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike.

Brilliant Mike and glad to see you on here again.
Tommy’s book, Family, Faith and Football is, IMHO, the best book I’ve read from any Celtic player, and what a player, what a man.

We made hard work of Pittodrie today then ‘cometh the hour, cometh the mhan’ our marvellous Captain came up with a fantastic goal to get us the 3pts.
All’s well that ends well according to a famous scribe. I agree.
Hail! Hail! to one and all. Back to 9 pts and Erskine Bridge closed to pedestrian traffic to halt the Ibrox ‘jumpers’ from polluting the Cyde.

Mike.
1 month ago

Oh, Hampden in the sun……

Apologies, should have said my goodbyes, you deserved better, so, I’m doing so now.
Thank’s to all for all the fun and enjoyment, I wish you all the very best, have a great Christmas and a brilliant New Year! Thank’s to Mark at Celtic-curios, for bringing Celtic’s glorious past back into the light. Hail Hail.

1957 7-1 HAMPDEN IN THE SUN-AMcc (1).jpg
TicToc
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike.

Mike, that’s the only time I’ve read anything regarding the 1957 League Cup Final and felt saddened by what I read. If thoughts were forces you’d be feeling the benefit already.
With Best Wishes to you and yours,
Vinnie.

Yoker Bhoy
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike.

Mike,
thanks for all those priceless moments over the years and hope that you’re in excellent health. If this is a final goodbye, and I hope it’s not, you won’t be forgotten. I wish you and yours a great festive season and hope you enjoy your football to the full next year and thereafter as Ange and the bhoys strive to take our wonderful club to even higher levels.

BroxburnBhoy
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike.

Best to you and yours Mike – stay safe and healthy

Salad Queen.
1 month ago

Take care Mike always loved your patter.

portpower
1 month ago

The Unexplained Files ‘CLASSIFIED’
How is Shug Keevins a Daddy?

God Bless, Mike.

The Cha
1 month ago

Answer to the riddle, which Celtic player has gone furthest in the World Cup. 🙂

IMG-20221218-WA0002.jpg
MabozzaRitchie
1 month ago

HOW TO SHAFT LABOURWE live in strange times.
The Conservative Party is fighting tooth and nail to open a new coal mine in the North of England, and the Labour Party is fighting tooth and nail to stop them.
3
The Conservative Party wants to open a new coal mine in the North of EnglandCredit: West Cumbria Mining
I’m praying it opens. Partly because I’m from Doncaster so have coal in my blood – and fireplace – but mostly because Sir Starmer and his Labour luvvies will have to close it down.
This will cause the miners to go on strike, which in turn will force Starmer to send an army of Met Police officers up North to beat some sense into them with their truncheons.
Then he will have to stop schoolchildren drinking milk because of the damage cows do to the environment.
And then he may have to go to war with Argentina for stealing the World Cup. Which they will, sadly.

MabozzaRitchie
1 month ago

HOW TO SHAFT LABOURWE live in strange times.
The Conservative Party is fighting tooth and nail to open a coal mine in the west cumbria North of England, and the Labour Party is fighting tooth and nail to stop them.
3
I’m praying it opens. Partly because I’m from Doncaster so have coal in my blood – and fireplace – but mostly because starmer and his labour luvvies will have to close it down.
This will cause the miners to go on strike, which in turn will force Starmer to send an army of Met Police officers up North to beat some sense into them with their truncheons.
Then he will have to stop schoolchildren drinking milk because of the damage cows do to the environment.
And then he may have to go to war with Argentina for stealing the World Cup. Which they will, sadly.

Sange Yer Man
1 month ago
Reply to  MabozzaRitchie

Looks like they missed the joke, Richie.

portpower
1 month ago

Santa has had a flurry of Christmas pressie wishes from the Celtic Ghirls and Bhoys.
A canoe Santa, I want a bloody canoe to get round Celtic Park.

Shall the Celtic Board offer a new, state-of-the-art, sponsored stadium for Christmas?
Or just more, mad mere puffery?

Who has trade papers for the use of a caulking gun?

Sange Yer Man
1 month ago
Reply to  portpower

Kayak.

Go for a kayak, Kojak, n ye can’t go far wrang.

Unless ye’ve hair like Jota’s, in which case ye’ll droon.

portpower
1 month ago

Scottish Officials have a serious issue with acceptance. That is why they cheat for their brethren.

How can Abada be interfering with play when the start of the play was a 50/50 challenge where Turnbull was fouled?

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/