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Ready, Steady…Celtic!

As Monty Burns on our latest podcast said, it seems Lenny is getting to lead the team out at the Scottish Cup Final.

Every Celtic fan, least the ones I know or hear on Twitter, cant quite believe it.

No-one has seen any glimmer of hope or a spark here or there that suggests that the combination of the current Management team and Players can produce a single win, let alone a run of 20 odd games as some Celtic fans are daring to suggest out there in Cyberspace.

But hey, we are where we are.

We are 13 points behind with 2 games in hand and we have a Cup Final and a New Years game at Ibrox to face before next Board review and  any chance of real change ( barring another disaster or two in next few SPFL games).

So, in finest Ready Steady Cook tradition, lets open the plastic bag of shite and see what appealing concoction we can come up with in respect to a 4 week plan of action.



1: Play Turnbull.

When in doubt in football, go back to basics. If you need a midfielder with desire who can run and create, play him…in midfield!

I would drop Brown. The club captain still has his use but lets bring Scott on to close out games, not to try and win them from the first whistle.  Play Turnbull and Macgregor and when one goes forward, the other covers, when needed. Half the time we really dont need 5 guys failing to mark one robust centre forward from an Scottish opponent.

Turnbull showed he can run with the ball as well as play give and go football when he appeared against St Johnstone. Let the guy stake his claim and build the midfield around his energy as we really need runners and some football intelligence in there at present. If game is near won, bring on Brown and also Soro for Turnbull and McGregor or Christie and really use the squad for prepared tactical needs rather than sheer desperation.


2: Dont go Gung-Ho

Lenny has help create mad situations of “Pick Any 6 from 9 permutation” where  Mo, Christie, Rogic, Eddie, Ntcham, Frimpong, Laxalt, Griffiths, Ajer have all been charging into the opponents penalty box. Utter madness and of course its just ended up with players running into each other and our balls having nowhere to go in a crowded box.

Lets stop the cavalry charges and play a little bit more intelligent. Build from the back…get the midfielders running BEYOND the strikers, not running INTO the strikers. Lets ensure midfielders cover for rampaging wing-backs, not go stand out on the wings beside them leaving them nowhere to go and also massive gaps at the back. Let us play facing the opponents goal…no more 5 forwards with backs to goal going nowhere with the ball.


3. Prepare / Clinch

Silly as it sounds, at present we just dont look prepared when facing opposition. We line up in same unstructured way and have no impression that players are aware of the challenges ahead. Lets concentrate on handling the opposition first and then deal with how we are going to win the game.

1-0 will do. Every time!

Now is not the time for caring about Goal Difference, now is the time for stability and steady progress. We have been knocked down a few times so far, now we just need to hold on and stand up straight hoping that the Bell rings to allow us a breather.

For the Cup Final, lets not be complacent. Lets be watching Championship leaders Hearts every weekend, Let us know their tactics, strengths and weaknesses with as much exposure as possible, Let’s be ready for them playing the game of their lives and ensure our players know exactly what this game means to the Club.


4: Relationships

Lets be frank, we have looked like a Sunday morning side composed of folk who have brought along a mate from work for a game. There are no signs of a relationship anywhere on the park.

We need to see Barkas and Centre half pairing ( pick one and stick with it please!) gel.

We need to see a centre midfield actually control midfield, not 5 yards in front of the centre halves.

We need someone to help Ryan Christie with give and go football and help Eddie break through the lines.

Lets concentrate on individuals roles within the team, rather than a team full of individuals


5: Wings Schmings

We need to address the clear issues out wide. We dont have Forrest on the right and we dont have a left winger, Mo is a drifter who likes to cut inside.

I doubt Mikey Johnston will play for Lenny again after that “Fuck off!” retort so we have the shambles of Laxalt, Mo and sometimes Calmac or Eddie out on the left, all within 5 yards of each other and opponents smoking cigars.

Don’t we have any left wingers in the reserve pool?

Laxalt needs some restraint as his overlapping without getting back is leaving massive spaces at the back so lets try and ease him back a touch allowing some more space for Mo to dribble into.

On the other wing we currently have Christie getting frustrated, Frimpong going nowhere and El Hamed looking clumsy.

Lets leave El Hamed defending and promote Frimpong up the park as he clearly cant defend.

Lets free up Christie to play inside and be the midfield guy who helps Eddie and can actually run passed Eddie to score.

Get Christie and Mo running their heart out and Rogic can replace him on 70 mins


6: Partner Eddie

I’ve said before but if we can get Griff starting, start him. Along side Eddie.  Let Edouard drift if he wants, within reason and let Griff run the channels and take the corners and they can jostle for free kick duty.

Ajeti isnt working and Klimala is a dud so lets utilise our two best forwards as much as we can whilst providing a solid backbone behind.

Again, use subs like Rogic and Klimala when needed to rest star players once game is won.


7: Just dont lose

Some may gasp at this, some may swear, but I honestly believe that we don’t need to win at Ibrox. There I said it. In my opinion, we just need to ensure that we don’t lose. A share of the points may not be perfect but its another anchor on which to build. To achieve that, i think we just need to take care of a few essentials:

  • Shut down short ball to Goldson. Eddie/Griff/Ajeti needs to split centre halves and pressure McGregor to send it out wide. Rangers copy our old tactic of keeper chipping it out to wing-backs when pressed. So in that case..
  • Keep Barisic and Tavernier at half way line or double up inside our own half. Lightweight forwards wont suffice here so Rogic and Mo can sit down, we need shoulders and energy to harass here. Laxalt needs told where his limits on running lanes are!
  • Shadow Kent. He thinks he is Pele but when you see him under real pressure, he gets upset and hits the deck. Intense pressure, Turnbull and Calmac can take turns but stopping the ball even getting to him will soon see a petted lip appear.
  • Counter at speed. Get the ball to Eddie and send runners like Turnbull as soon as possible. If Griff is fit, send the ball into channels and make their defenders turn. Both Griff and Eddie know how to score counters at Ibrox.
  • Set pieces – be brave. Stand your ground, take your man ( known well in advance and no mismatches!) and be steadfast. No shrinking violets need apply


That takes us up to New Year and time for the next “review” according to The Board. Whether Lenny, Kennedy and Strachan all last that long is determined by results but its in their hands to make it happen. If they fail, they go. If they succeed, then they may live to fight another day. Only time will tell but for now, we can only hope we pick up wins in the League and Cup in 2020 before we head to Ibrox and face the real test.

Interesting times indeed.

Leave your thoughts in comments sections below, but save the “Lenny Out” notes as he is here for now and theres nowt to change that.




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2 years ago

Is this your application for the position Desi?
Everything you said makes sense, but the dinosaurs that make up the management team believe that if you batter against a nine man defence things will turn out all right on the night. They also believe that there is only a small group of players that can play. Soro Turnbull Klimalla are not good enough, but when these players play for their International teams they achieve levels that only can be dreamed about at Parkhead.
What they could do is get some of the fencing positioned at the front of the stadium and erect it around the goal or turn to the Woman’s team

2 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

I note that the Celtic Trust seems to be the new messiah that are going to do great things. Call me cynical, but sounds more like a Celtic version of Club1690!!

2 years ago

Superb article! Whole heartedly agree with all your well thought out points. Spot on!

Iljas Baker
2 years ago

Totally agree Desimond. Please have a chat with Neil Lennon.

John Donnelly
2 years ago

You would keep Eddie? Has not tried a leg all season and I cannot see that changing. Griff for corners. He planted 3 in a row on May’s head at the weekend. Placing reliance on the 2 most unprofessional players at the club. Agree with most of your other comments.
youngsters – Welsh and Henderson would give us more dig than we have

John Donnelly
2 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

Yes, something needs to change on team selection and the options are all try it out and hope for the best. When Christie put in the cross for the equaliser I am sure that he did not look up. He should try that for the corners – or let someone else take them.

2 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

There was a joke about christie he was throwing his shirt into the crowd after a triumph( yes, in a galaxy far far away). Rumour has it he couldn’t throw it past the first fan in the front row

Big Don Gazpachio
2 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

Eddie is the best player in the team and Griff the best provider from dead balls.
We have to maximise that.’

You sound like Lenny himself here, Desi.

2 years ago

great article desi COYBIG

2 years ago

Desi, this was a delight to read. Well done. Nice to talk football for a change. Remember Morecombe of Morecombe and Wise? “I’m playing all the notes sunshine, but not necessarily in the right order.” I have always believed that we have the best players in the league and should be bossing Newco and the rest of the league. Right players in their best position. We know all our bhoys can play.Nobody but me has mentioned that Hazard might be our best goalkeeper. He has presence. 6’5″” Why not play him against Lille to see what he can do? If Lenny is staying then we have to love the one we’re with!

2 years ago

Yes Desi that is as complicated it needs to be. Simple concise instructions so every player knows what their job is, and what every other players job is too, teamwork! I would start with a hard working energetic dynamic players in midfield so would go with Turnbull, Soro, Christie and McGregor, which would allow flexibility depending on whether we we’re attacking, defending or adopting a high press. At the back I would play with 4 at the back – Elhamed – Julien – Ajer – Taylor. Up front I would go with Eddy & Griff. That should give us plenty of options on the bench should we need to replace like for like or change the formation depending on the current state of play in the game. I think they call it game management and it certainly requires making timely proactive use of our 5 available substitutes. Barkas between the sticks. The management team need to be working together to both encourage and instruct the players as soon as issues arise. Simples as the say!

2 years ago

Keep the back 4 as a back 4.
Play 4312
Frimpong and laxalt could be drafted further up but why bother.
Frimpong is a terrible crosser laxalt not much better
Personally I’d do without them for now. Ajer is not a centre back never has been.
El Hamed Duffy Jullien Taylor
Do not go over the half way line till we are winning the game.
If one goes the other 3 close in to the gap.
Midfield needs ripped up.
Ntcham Ajer Turnbull to play.
Brown McGregor Christie have been terrible lately.
Rogic to show the magic
Edouard Ellynoussi up top.
Not great but major surgery required.

2 years ago

No sources pish-stained or otherwise but it looks broken between the manager and the most influential Celtic captain since big Billy. Once that broke I think the dressing room was lost. I’d rather be told to F off to my face than the Griffiths way of having more strains that influenza. Rebuild in January with a new management team and kick on. I think they will fold in the new year but we are now on a rebuilding phase with Ajer, Ntcham, Eddie and Christie gone by summer.

2 years ago

Good points, well said. On the scouting, as mentioned yesterday, is Craig Strachan who may be on “project” orders. The Opposition scout however is Peter Houston whom( having spoken to him) I have complete faith in. Could be a failure or lack of will to act on his reports.

2 years ago

If the final goes pear-shaped, I hope that banner is no taken literaly. fine article. just wished the pros were professional about their jobs. Too many big-headed egotistical butt-heads at the clun now. Dread what the Celtic support will be saying about this season in 5 years time. HH!

Big Don Gazpachio
2 years ago

I was about to put a team selection up but the truth is I can’t be arsed.

Our own board have deliberately fvcked Celtic up from the inside out to help the Huns, just like they did in 2011-12.

Whats the point of discussing tactics and teams when they’re all complicit in stealing our money knowing in advance how this season would play out?

Whats the point in paying to be cheated and, worse, KNOWING you’re being cheated?

And now that the board have backed Lennon the blogs now tell us that we all have to sit down and shut up and take it?

Is THAT what passes for a revolt over here?

Where the objects of our fury say they don’t like it and nothing’s gonnae change and the blogs tell us to just accept it?!

Ffs, lads, but I meet thought I’d see the day that Celtic fans tell us there’s no point in protesting as ‘this is just how it is’.

Well, fvck that.

Im not having that.

If you want change at our club you starve these vampires out.

You claim refunds on every penny you can, includin* las5 season’s ticket and this years, you send back all the site you bough out the superstore and demand every penny back, telling them every step of the way that CELTIC IS NOT HERE TO HELP BIGOTRY AND WHATEVER CLUB IS PLAYING OUT OF IBROX.

You go up to Parkheid every chance you can get with banners and protests as close to the ground as possible.

These banners must proclaim SACK THE BOARD, LENNON OUT, and, most importantly. WE DO NOT SUPPORT THE HUNS.

You make this point by every manner of means possible and this campaign does not stop until this parasitic Hun loving board and every one of their lackeys are out of our club for good and for ever.

What you do NOT do is tell your readers to ‘save the ‘Lenny Out’ notes and demand they all just go back to sucking up the putrid Hun tasting shite this scumbag board are feeding us.

Otherwise we’ll start to wonder about your involvement in the scam too.

Our day will come.

Big Don Gazpachio
2 years ago

Now, Desi, did Duncan McFadden REALLY apologise for making the death of Diego Maradona?

He says he did but the thing is he’s such a lying dirt bag I don’t believe him.

Ive asked him to send it again if he was sincere in it but, of course, he hasn’t, claiming the he ‘sent it to the snowflakes’, thereby admitting, already, that he wasn’t sincere in it, as if he thinks the reason we’re raging about it is because we’re all soft.

When the truth is what he did is fvckin outrageous behaviour from anyone and to anyone.

Mocking the dead is no fvckin joke and he’s a lucky fvckin boy that he doesn’t live in Scotland.

Big Don Gazpachio
2 years ago

‘The Celtic Trust:
Therefore, we have liaised with the Club and with the police and we are now calling on those fans who wish to protest to come to The Celtic Way on Sunday 13th December at 1pm and at no other time.
We urge those who wish to come to follow the guidance carefully:
Please do not travel from outside Glasgow
Please wear a face mask (face masks will be available from our stewards)
Please stand 2m apart in the marked spaces
Please follow instructions from our stewards
Please do everything necessary to keep yourselves and others safe.’

Thereby proving The Celtic ‘Trust’ to be obedient corporate w@nkers.

Big Don Gazpachio
2 years ago

Reading back over this I can’t believe the overall gist of it …

’Desi says Lenny’s here til January so no more ‘Lenny Out’ notes’ and we’d all best just shut up and talk about the team’ …


Celtic is a disjointed unit of selfish bastards looking after their own individual interests.

Why don’t any of the blogs say it like that?

Big Don Gazpachio
2 years ago

Everything else just is political spin AKA Total BULLSHIT.

Wake the fvck up the lot of ye.

Big Don Gazpachio
2 years ago

Imagine you were trying to seek parity and justice in a wholly unfair and cruel regime and your antagonists repeatedly told you they didn’t like your attacks on them and by the fourth time your own ‘leaders’ backed down and told you to pipe down and just follow the party line …

What would you think of them thereafter?

Rhetorical question, of course.

2 years ago

Take two paracetamol and get some rest.
For our benefit, not yours.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at