I think we can safely say that Brendan Rodger’s honeymoon period ended in Gibraltar last night, just ninety minutes into his competitive career at Celtic.
Messiah ? Yeah. Looks to me like he doesn’t give a fuck. Chin firmly pushed out ready to take one on it. something we have all heard before. Now, had this been last seasons manager, supporters would have been screaming for his head, condemning his lack of passion.
But no, this guy nearly won something at Liverpool, and was , honestly, just resting between jobs….
On several podcasts, and in several previous diaries , I’ve said he would not have been my first choice, based largely on his previous record, but also on interviews he gave in a book about football management.
We’ve made an arse of it again.
In fairness to him, Celtic should overhaul a one goal deficit against part timers, but that wasn’t Celtic out there last night, that was some guys who thought they were Celtic players last year, and haven been given a chance to be Celtic players this year, did what they did last year, and guess what ?
We got exactly the same level of performance out of them.
Lincoln Red Imps proved that enthusiasm and application beat lethargy and reputation every time. They deserved their 1-0 win, if only because they realised just how bad Celtic are and took advantage of it.
Their coach looked at how Celtic played, and when he’d finished laughing, passed that information on to his players, and Lee Cascario, the goalscorer, listened….
‘I knew that we would get a ball over the top, I’m quite quick – and I knew the defenders were a bit slower,’
‘I knew they would not outrun me , so I popped the ball over them and put it past the keeper. I played against one of them (Sviatchenko) last season so I knew about him. I know my strengths and weaknesses and so, if I got the right ball, then I would cause problems.
‘We knew they would press us and leave gaps at the back. So any loose ball or defensive lapse would mean I would get a chance. Lucky enough I scored.’
‘It is a great story. I will never forget this. We have another 90 minutes to go and hopefully we will enjoy ourselves. We will see what we can do.
‘Can we go through? Hmm, it is difficult to predict. We will just enjoy ourselves there and see what we can do. Did I think we would win? Maybe not win, but I knew we would cause them problems.’
Our coach, having seen the players on dvd from last season, and worked with them on a pre season tour, decided to go with experience, and you cannot fault him for that.
For ten of the players there was the added bonus that Efe ambrose was playing, which meant that no matter how bad they played, it would always be his fault if something went wrong.
Incidentally, some wag has started a crowdfunding account to raise £1.5m to allow a Turkish team to buy the African cup winner.
Yeah, that will do his confidence the world of good.
And thats what Rodgers has thus far failed to instill in the core of this team.
Again we saw a performance where no one wanted to take the game by the scruff of the neck, Stuart Armstrong apart, and again we saw the ball endlessly switched from left to right , from right to left, and then back a bit.
Predictable ?
Tedious ?
Add your own adjective, because I’m fed up of going over the faults. If we saw them last year, got rid of the manager because of them, and then employed a new man who tells the team to do exactly the same thing , then we have got problems.
Really big problems with neon lights attached to them, just in case some of you can;t see them.
But, Rodgers can redeem himself.
Maybe, just maybe, that was the last chance saloon for some of the players, and for a formation. There probably was some sort of formation last night, but no-one seems to remember it. Especially those supposed to be adhering to it.
And maybe some of those players will no longer be allowed at the bar.
Next week in glasgow, Celtic are expected to take five, six, seven goals from a team who will be fired up for the biggest occasion in their lives.
Sure, they might freeze in the atmosphere of Celtic Park, but they also might take heart from the abuse the crowd give the home side, which usually starts within the first five minutes, after the first misplaced pass, or when someone notices Ambrose is playing.
I sincerely hope I’m wrong, and i’m overreacting, but the doing the same thing with the same players gets you the same results.
Celtic had plenty of chances to score last night, and we didn’t. Like in many games last season, players either aimed straight at the keeper, or miles away from him.
There was no urgency, no imagination and no ralsiation of the fact that a team of part timers had beaten them.
In fact, the post match attitude bears out exactly what i’m saying.
This team is infected, possibly beyond a cure, with lethargy.
And then Brendan the Messiah spoke,
“right. who’s had my fag ?”
Yeah, something else had happened under his nose he didn’t spot….
Actually, what he said was…
“We have seen enough to see that we can get through in the second leg. Of course you are disappointed to lose,”
“Celtic fans expect us to get through into the group stages. The message to them is to stay calm.
“This is a good group of players, they are working hard and in a week’s time we will need them (the fans).
“I always thought this qualification phase would be based on the second leg at home, so we will need that support and hopefully get the job done next week.”
Ah. ” We need the fans “
In the match rant last night, elsewhere on the site, I said the club had appealed for a couple of dozen lads with their own boots and a night off to turn up next Wednesday.
Looks like I was right.
But it was these remarks from our glorious leader that stung…
“No. There is obvious disappointment.
“There is no embarrassment. It was a tough game in tough conditions. We didn’t take our chances, they took their chance.
“We dominated and created enough chances to score. Sometimes it can happen, obviously with the pitch, an awkward bounce and all of a sudden the player is in, it’s into the floor and goes in.
“We have seen enough to see that we can get through in the second leg. Of course you are disappointed to lose.
“It was difficult, of course. They set up 5-4-1. And it doesn’t matter the team, the level. Teams have good organisation, 11 players behind the ball.
“Throw the pitch into that, it’s very, very tough for the players.
“But we created enough chances, their keeper made fantastic saves. It gives us a bit of work to do in the second leg.”
You know, I had a fantastic reply to that, taking apart each piece of the statement with a reasoned argument as to why he was wrong, and how we’d heard it all before, and I felt quite pleased with myself, that I hadn’t resorted to just abuse.
Then I thought…
You know why ? Because i realised our manager is full of the brown stuff, and it was leaking out at the top.
So, where do we go from here ?
We start as we mean to go on.
That means we get a table out of one of the rooms upstairs at Celtic Park…
and we place it outside the ground just in front of the statues, and we invite the following players to stand either on it or around it…
If we get enough money in to pay the electric bill or something this year then its a bonus.
Saidy Janko. He’s not going to make it. Why ? Because he is one of that not so rare breed of footballer who thinks he’s already made it. And he’s shite.
Efe Ambrose. Not because he’s shite, he isn’t. but no matter what he does, the support will blame him if it goes tits. In fact, he had to lock his door and close his curtains when theresa May got the Prime ministers job, as he thought he’d get the blame for not coming up with a suitable alternative and a fiscal policy to make sure everyone has a roof over their head and something to eat.
Dedryck Boyata . He’s had his chance, and it scared him.
Scott Brown. Done, and has been done for a while. Thanks for the memories and some of the best staring ever seen in top class fotball, but go now, before you ruin your reputation.
Nir Biton. Should be Far Biton. As Far as fucking possible away Biton. Though as he would do several priouettes and sideways movements, it would take him a while to get there. So best he sets off now.
Stefan Johansen Said he wants to go, and we shouldn’t stand in his way. Otherwise he’ll knock us over and get booked.
Tom Rogic. Controversial maybe, but he hasn’t got ninety minutes of effectiveness in him. Which is always a bonus in a player, but rogic doesn’t have it.
Kris Commons: He’s already gone, hasn’t he ?
Theres a couple of others who should leave, but not because they are of the same ilk as that lot above.
That should do for now, and then we can move on.
And what does that leave us with for next weeks return game…
Well, its not right to simply criticise without offering a solution, so here’s mine, which proves that I know everything, and should have been given the job ahead of Rodgers.
Starting eleven for next week, with reasoning behind it…
Craig Gordon in goal. We haven;t got anybody else.
Mikael Lustig at right back if fit, Anthony Ralston if he isn’t.
Erik Sviatchenko, captain at the heart of the defence. Kristoffer Ajer, not a centre half, but should be able to cope here until we get one, beside him.
Keiran Tierney at left back,
Then, the midfield four.
Patrick Roberts on the left, and James Forrest on the right. They are quick, tricky and if palyed on the side that suits their stronger foot, they might just get to the bye line and cross a ball. Instead of cutting in just at the moment the defender thinks he will.
In the middle, Stuart Armstrong anmd Calum McGregor. These two bring energy and vision to the midfield. both can run, tackle , pass and shoot. And they have a bit of dig as well.
Up front, Nadir Ciftci and Leigh Griffiths.
Ciftci scared the life out of them last night, and he complemented Griffiths better than that other guy, the one from Fulham who I sincerely hope we have on sale or return.
And then, with a combination of power, pace and relentles enthusiasm, we might just get the result and performance we need to make us look forward to the season, a sense of anticipation so far only ruined by having to watch the team in action.
Oh, and one other word of advice.
Ditch the black top. Its a stupid idea and if we wear it in an important game, it will bite us in the arse.
Ask the Welsh.
Whoever came up with that idea clearly knows little about football.
There’s no other way to put this.
Whichever way you look at it, Celtic lost to a part time team from Gibraltar.
That is unacceptable, whatever the excuse.
Yesterdays caption competition
saw a second win for
Caption; Gregory Campbell, wearing his Sunday best, takes the advice “Look more closely at Glasgow City Council’s land deals with Celtic.” quite literally.
And no, I can’t go to fucking Limerick with you as she saw the text you sent which included the words “Limerick Ladies”, “Two days” and “yum fucking yum.”
Today, its down to you to lighten the mood with a witty and intelligent response to this picture, because I’m not in the mood for levity.
