The title will be explained later, to keep you interested, although we start with another exclusive….though its worth waiting for.

Oh, a quick note before we start, as there are one or two pictures in todays nonsense that may, or may not, be the genuine article. Although we place a lot of trust in our crack photography team, we sometimes feel that the camera not only lies, but goes off into fucking lalaland sometimes.

Well, it appears Celtic finally got their man yesterday, as Swedish forward Zlatan Ibrahimovic was paraded at Celtic Park;

We at Etims like to simply produce what we are given, and as our readership are all grown up and sensible, we can trust them to make their own minds up on what they see.  That picture comes from our candid cameraman Lynchy, and he says its genuine, and thats good enough for me, if probably not you.

I don’t see any reason to doubt his veracity, largely because I really daren’t look, but you can make your own mind up.

Someone else apparently edging close to a deal at Celtic Park is Liverpool defender Andre Wisdom, while Ryan Bennett of Norwich is also on the to do list.

Or, of course, it could just be the press concluding the club is short on centre halves and sifting through the who’s available for free list published on most football sites this time of year.

There’s a fond farewell and a mind how ye go to big forward Colin Kazim Richards, whose move to Brazilian club Coritiba was announced on the club website;

CELTIC FC can confirm that Colin Kazim-Richards has left the Club and will be joining Coritiba.

Everyone at the club wishes Colin the very best for the future. Now that its not in Glasgow 

Kazim Richards became the third forward to leave the club in three weeks, having scored as many goals between them, prompting questions as to what the the striker scout is actually doing to earn his wages, and if he should be allowed to continue doing it.

That leaves us with Leigh Griffiths. Oh, and Nadir Ciftci.

Fletcher may actually accept a lower wage, as he signed a lucrative image rights deal with MB board game Guess Who, where he can clearly be seen on the back row.

A number of other names have been mentioned, but i’m fairly sure we heard back in January he was coming in the summer, and such was the sense of relief he wasn’t coming in January, we kind of forgot all about him. In much the same way as we are hoping that the club have now.

Two young player deserve congratulations. Anthony Ralston , the defender who was on loan at Queens Park earmarked to replace Mikael Lustig one day, and leap past Saidy Janko for the right back berth has a new three year deal, and midfielder Innes Murray has earned an extension as he gears up to fight his way through the crowd to get a game.

Well, if a few are going to leave, he’s certainly not, so he must be rated.

Good luck to both of them.

The Lisbon Lions Upper is now open, and you can buy a season book there, if there’s any left.

I was going to quote from Tony Heggarty’s article in the Daily Record, but it didn’t make any sense, ( Honest-have a look at it, its like someone decided that there might be something in this thousand monkeys thousand typewriters proverb. Well, at least now they know there isn’t. ) so we’ll see what the club website has to say..

TENS of thousands of fans have already guaranteed their support for the upcoming season, queuing patiently at the Ticket Office this week to secure their seats for the upcoming campaign.

Speaking to the official Celtic website, new Hoops boss Brendan Rodgers said: “I have seen some of the sights of our fans coming to Celtic Park in recent days to join the club again next season. This is an amazing response and one which everyone at the Club is extremely grateful for.

“Celtic supporters are everything to the club and I know exactly the difference your support can make to our success.”

On his introduction to the Celtic Park faithful, the new manager spoke of his desire to for the fans to fill Paradise next season and, with tens of thousands of supporters snapping up Season Tickets for the campaign ahead, Areas 415 and half of 416 in the Lisbon Lions Upper Tier are now open and available on general sale.

Current Season Ticket holders who were asked to relocate from seats in these areas in season 2013/2014 have until 5pm on Friday, June 17 to relocate back into their previously held seats. These relocations can be arranged through contacting the Ticket Office either in person or by calling 0141 230 1967. 

I would hurry , if i were you..

That last bit is a nice gesture, as I remember readers were disgusted that they had to give up their seats back then to save a couple of quid on stewards and light bulbs, so at least they can get first dibs.

There was a bit of a shock though when staff finally took away the “Club Like no Other Banner ” and found something interesting;

His hiding place discovered, the “rangers ” “manager” immediately asked if someone could charge his phone up, and he made a few calls to a few journalists-not just Phil MacGhiollabhan, and put their minds at rest.

Well, thats what he might have done, no-ones talking, but at least no matter how this saga turns out, they can all say he told them that on Thursday…

You’d have thought that he’d ring a couple of his players, or at least answer their texts.

Some of them are worried…

Again, its down to you to decide if that, taken from a group chat between three “rangers ” players is genuine.

“You “, incidentally, in the extract, is Andy Andy Halliday, the midfielder baptised by a slightly hard of hearing priest.

On now to the issue of trying to place an advert in the struggling Guardian newspaper. And how to prevent it if you really want to…

Apparently, CQN have asked for an explanation behind the refusal…which is fair enough.

And they got one, which is a little , er, ludicrous..

Helen Hodgson from the Guardian Readers’ editor’s office has been replying to queries today apparently saying this:

“Thank you for your email.  The advert you refer to was booked in before copy was seen, which is not unusual.  When the first advert came in (in French) it was reviewed and the decision reached was that the tone and content were not in line with our advertising terms and conditions. When a second part of this advertising campaign came in (this time in English) it was also declined.

We remain committed to impartial sports reporting; acceptance or refusal of advertising does not in any way reflect our editorial position. Readers remain free to pitch stories to our editorial desks.

Here is the Guardian News and Media  statement:

“All adverts submitted for publication are considered on a case-by-case basis to assess suitability for publication according to our advertising terms and conditions. The Guardian reserves the right to reject adverts at our discretion. Either the acceptance or refusal of advertising does not in any way reflect our editorial position.”

best wishes

Helen Hodgson
Guardian Readers’ editor’s office

I figured we could maybe ask Hodgson to elaborate, but having googled her name, her office and finally the missing persons list, I couldn’t find her.

Maybe I did something wrong, or maybe she is a made up person, to deal with the made up stories the MSM seem to love.

Anyway, and to be quite frank here, who gives a fuck what the Guardian think about the  adverts ?

Who cares who turns it down ?

This is a story in itself, and surely now someone must be taking notice and asking questions…. ?

What was meant to be gained by placing the advert, as any campaign will have a “here’s what we need to achieve ” page,  was to draw the scandal to the attention of UEFA.

That has been achieved by placing it in the Swiss paper, and also by the Res 12 guys contacting UEFA, so the guardian tactic may well have been to alert the reporters who have a highly credible track record in sporting corruption stories, and to get them on the case.

Unfortunately, the Guardian, which has one or two financial issues, doesn’t appear to be ready to risk the wrath of major advertisers-it has to be that, as they are not usually afraid to go with a story- which is a shame, but you can understand it to an extent.

You can understand it. I didn’t say you could condone it.

But maybe they have their reasons , because of this financial problem, and maybe we looked at it upside down yesterday….

Here’s why….

One story on social media was that Level 5 PR, owned and run for the benefit of those accused of misdemeanours, threatened to advise another of its clients, bookmaker Ladbrokes, to withdraw their advertising from the paper, which kind of fits in with my theory yesterday about threatened revenue loss, as Ladbrokes , too, have an interest in Scottish football and the return of the living dead.

However, as anyone knows, threats to a newspaper don’t work, unless they are a  particularly spineless rag, such as  one or two in Scotland, for instance, have shown themselves to be.

Which is why my original theory may be completely wrong.

Well, a little bit wrong.

You see, if i wanted to block the advert, I’d be offering something better in return, and possibly a promise to place a large account with them if they were a little more selective in their choosing of adverts. That way, they could choose to publish a twenty grand ad instead of a five grand one. In wondering what had happened, I put myself in their shoes, adopted their personality, and naturally figured it was all threats and intimidation, whereas if i put my own shoes back on, common sense and regular, if a little distasteful, business practice came to mind.

If Ladbrokes suddenly have full pagers in the paper, or anyone else with a vested interest in Scottish football, I reckon thats enough evidence for me.

As I said yesterday, it’s time for Celtic to do something, just a simple statement to let us know we are all on the same side here.

Otherwise the Leicester game, a high profile International champions Cup game, might just see a lot of the support on the car park, with banners, pitchforks and probably sandwiches and fizzy drinks, because I’ll be saving the serious drinking for the Etims night out later on that day…

Having seen the effort put in by the Requisitioners, its the least we can do to show we appreciate it.

In the mean time, maybe we could email the club and ask how much it would be to reserve a couple of hundred parking spaces.

Right, its Friday, and that means its time for ….

Knob Of The Week  

Again , our cameraman, not Lynchy this time, but K-Dhogg, has been out and about and was on hand to see a delighted John “Bomber ” Brown collect his award last week… 

As the former Rangers man raised the bar last week, so has this weeks winner, and in the spirit of eqaulity, its fantastic to see a woman win this most prestious of awards for the first time, and there’s so much potential in there that she could go on and become the first person to ever win it twice. Or three times.

Really the sky is the limit for this lady,

This weeks

Knob Of The Week 

after a truly splendid effort in the Belfast Telegraph, where she showed that you don;t have to know anything about something to report on it, goes to the beautiful and talented

Ruth Dudley Edwards

Caption competition…okay then…

But first, another winner, from yesterday… someone caught a glimpse of the future with a look at the past, showing that history is forever doomed to repeat itself…