Celtic Diary Saturday April 9: Who’d Have Thought It?

Well, remind me never to buy a beer brewed and bottled in Aberdeen. well, brewed in Aberdeen, it gets bottled in Edinburgh. No chance of it making its way intact to the house.

Hearts, despite falling behind early on , overcame Aberdeen 2-1 in yet another Friday night thriller to all but end the Don’s chances of winning the league.

Which prompted an immediate reaction from Ronny Deila and John Collins;

“We’ll see what we can do ” 

We’re not out of the woods yet, but there is definitely a clearing up ahead.

Come to think of it, the dogs were barking last night, and it was difficult to work out which noise had stirred them. Was it the sound of breaking glass from up north, or the huge roar of relief from Timdom ?

Aberdeen boss Derek McInnes, a hot tip for the Jim Jeffries Award for Services to Laughter, said;

“We can gloss over it but everyone knows that was an opportunity tonight.

“I will never say that it’s gone. That would be stupid and my players will never give it up.

“We have been up against winning the title since before a ball was kicked at the start of the season.

“We are still up against it, however, it’s an even bigger advantage now.

“There are 15 points left to play for but you have got to say it will take a dramatic collapse from Celtic now.

“Tonight was a bit like the league. We put ourselves in a position in the game to go on and crank it up but we haven’t done it with tonight’s result.

Lets face it.

Speaking of laughter, they’re a touchy bunch, the dons fans…

Aberdeen Mad ☆☆ Retweeted Bernie Docherty

Aberdeen Mad ☆☆ added, 

A battle of wits between two unarmed men.

So, all we have to do is win, either with flowing football or a deflected corner off a defenders arse, against Motherwell today, and its pretty much all over.

And this guy was in it…

So, whilst we are all a little chipper this morning, perhaps it’s wise not to take anything for granted.

But maybe a little more adventurous than usual, perhaps ?

Gordon, Lustig, (or Ambrose )Boyata, Mulgrew, Tierney, Allan, Armstrong, Roberts, Rogic, Forrest, Griffiths.

We can play Forrest, Lawwell is out of town ( i’ll come back to that later ) and won’t even be watching on telly.

This will give us a team that goes forward instead of sidieways, and a win somewhere in the region of five to seven nil. Except when Lustig is in possession, and we all have to run backwards to help him out.

For those of you going to the game, Celtic supporters liaison officer John Paul Taylor has asked you to not stand on the roof.

Scott Brown will be told to fetch his own fucking passes.

Watching on will be that cunning old fox, Mark Warburton, as he plots his way to dismissing Celtic’s chances of a double…

By the way, one of the officials, Doug Ross,  at next weeks game is also the grandmaster of the Orange Lodge in Elgin, we’re led to believe, meaning that he probably won’t have to plot for long.

From STV, and you can probably guess what the S stands for.

Rangers manager Mark Warburton has said that playing Peterhead in the Petrofac Cup final can be the ideal preparation for facing Celtic a week later.

Rangers face Celtic in the Scottish Cup semi-final on April 17 but get a taste of Hampden this Sunday in the Challenge Cup and Warburton says one big occasion can be beneficial to the other.

He said his side’s schedule and preparation will be identical for both games and that can only help his players.

“It’s very helpful,” he said. “It’s a big cup final on Sunday so it prepares the team very well.

“In terms of coming here, the atmosphere, the build-up work, the hotel, everything will be identical both weekends.

“It’s a fantastic experience on Sunday for us. The focus right now is is the Petrofac.

“Get that trophy won and then we move forward but there’s no doubt it’ll help us.”

Days after clinching the Championship title, Warburton will get his first taste of the national stadium on Sunday and he says it is an occasion he will relish. Rangers have failed to lift the cup in three seasons in the lower leagues and he said the players are desperate to win the trophy.

“It’s an honour to come here and to lead the team out,” the Rangers boss said. “It’s fantastic and it’s really pleasing for the Rangers fans. And for the players, they’ve worked so hard. 

“It’s a trophy we haven’t won as a club and it’s important for us. So we’re desperate to go there, deliver the performance that pleases the fans and send them home happy, hopefully.”  

A big cup final ?

There’s only one big cup, and only one team been in its final.

Note, however, he thinks it will be ideal preparation for the Celtic game. I’m off to the bookies to bet on Peterhaed getting a man sent off. That way the Wunderteam can practice playing against ten men.

And now….we’re going to play …

A brand new game designed to keep the libel lawyers away.

Now then, i have to stae that if a drunk tells you something in the wee small hours that it must be taken with exactly the same pinch of salt..

sorry, my bad. Thats a selfie Margaret Thatcher sent me on the third anniversary of her death yesterday.

Anyway, lets take this with a pinch of salt, but a scenario we have already spoken of is beginning to take shape.

Just suppose Ronny Deila doesn’t want the Celtic job anymore. No wonder. The supporters, once described by Martin O’Neill as guys who know their stuff, haven’t taken to him or his ideas. Neither have the players.

And don’t get me started on John Collins and the bewildered John Kennedy, who we hear is the only one who will survive the upcoming cull.

Abs ? Is it short for his next job after Warby Warbs runs away from Ibrox shouting “you can’t make me ! ” in the summer ? Or a week on Monday ?  With McInnes taking his unique brand of optimism to his old club ?

This is like that radio show, the unbelievable truth. Lots of stuff, you have to spot the bits that are true.

If you do find one, let me know.

Anyhoo, Peter Lawwell is in Sunderland, probably, who are looking for a new CEO, and he will sit down to chat with club bosses just as soon as his arse, sore from Desmond’s pointy golf shoe, has healed.

Dermot and Denis, it seems, whilst wondering what the fuck their personal tax situations have to do with the loon who started the state aid allegations, remember they aren’t even UK residents, have a few quid to spend. Not as much as last time, but a fair few bob.

Martin O’Neill, either as director of football or manager, with Roy Keane, will replace Ronny , who will be given a golden handshake as long as he keeps telling Kristoffer Ajer, who is being converted into a striker by his current club ready for next season, that he’s still involved somehow.

He actually might be. He just doesn’t want to be manager.

Now, upon hearing this, a former member of staff, who clearly misread the note with his p45 attached the last time round, threw his hat into the ring, only to see it thrown straight back out.

Remarkably, the ginger ninja isn’t as popular within the Parkhead walls as he is outwith them.

Anyway, as i said…

Let’s pretend…

Now then, there was a clear winner in the caption competition, in fact so good, he’s getting two awards, his first and his last.

Step forward the bold monti, our own version of marmite…

And today, we have, from Havana , cuba…so they say…