Fashion – Turn Left

Ever hear that Kinks song “Dedicated Follower of fashion”?
Well thats me, or least it was me, once upon a time.

You know how it is, youre young, fresh faced, uber-keen. You’re out to impress and once you get a few quid in your pocket, even if it is a provvy cheque, off you pop to get the latest gear and turn yourself out the best you can.Hopefully, and if i may attempt to retain some modesty, even usually, this would end up in success and smiles all round come the end of every adventure. Occasionally it ended in tears but hey thats life and all that but one thing was clear; Once you get that feel good feeling, you never want to let it go.

I dont know how others do it but I had a straight forward approach.

It used to be a case of starting from the shoes up. A solid base of foundations. Invest in good shoes and a good bed…if youre not in one, youre in the other, as my wee mate from Bathgate would say. Solid socks and undercrackers to ensure vital support in those less glamourous areas and it was onto the main items of the day.

Trousers…well its the heart and soul of an outfit isnt it? In truth you need to ensure a wee bit of cash is spent to get maximum long term returns. Length and width can also be a factor for some but i was always more about the quality. An extra few quid really does go a long way and pays off in the long run as you have to be wary of the dreaded wear and tear. Some filk also favoured the latest craezes but i always edge towards classic standard fare. I didnt need any fancy trim or exotic touches, just a quality product that i knew wouldnt let me down. Job done.

Then it was topside. I was never a fan of the winter in all honestly, always found myslef reaching for items i knew in my heart werent really me but hoped they would do a job at least ( but probably at most) in the very short term. “Whatever gets you through the night” as Lennon would sing was my usual attitude come winter shopping. For me it was all about the summer and the sunny days. Those were when you could load your pockets and go to town, spend some good money and get some true quality eye catching goods. Some folk would argue for quantity over quality but for me thats was just a losers lament. If the money was there for a couple of quality tops, I was right in there. Sometimes even 3 or even 4 at a time. What a time it was, sure some folk laughed claiming i was over-dressed while others wondered how i was able to afford it but it was a different time then, money was easy to come by and the fashions available were mind-blowing.
I wont get into accessories, its not that sort of site but I admit that I would experiment with the odd piece here and there. Even thought they usually didnt cost that much I used to find myself pausing and then thinking “Maybe its worth a try” but more often and not it wouldnt quite fit in with my outfit despite an occasional compliment or two. Eventually I would discard them and usually just forget all about them until it was time for a clear out. I used to just shrug when folk said “What a waste of money” but no harm was done, least no real harm as far as i could see.

Then time moved and on and so did fashions and tastes. So did the money. Suddenly I found myself getting a bit stretched here and there to keep up and make ends meet. it was a tough balance alright. Suddenly the manager “wasnt in” if i fancied a wee taste of the latest treats here and there.

Suddenly reality hit home and my swaggering days were over. I told myself it would be okay if I concentrated on the key areas. A little bit spent here with the rest concentrated on there sort of thing but before long I knew it was doomed. I was mixing and matching and trying to get anything to go with anything. I was moving from designer to designer but always in descent. It wasn’t working despite any apparent decent labels and prices I could use as an excuse. Folk started to notice and suddenly the party scene seemed to be turning their back on me. That’s when i really started to hit rock bottom.

The shoes started to go and I found myself having to make do with an old classy pair which while once being the best of leather seemed to be held together by the thinnest coat of new polish. I wasn’t holding out much hope long term but they would have to do in the interim. The socks and undergarments had long been worn through and soon it was mix and matching, patching up some quick nasty repairs, cheap make-does or worse of all, some folk preferring me to do without altogether rather than embarrass myself any further.

The trousers is where I really felt it though. I had always been about the quality and suddenly the laws of physics were no longer my friend. Friction and wear and tear soon took their toll and something had to give and it did. Soon holes were appearing and all shape had gone. Sure there were still patches of quality here and there, but overall it was clearly wrong and folk were staring in disbelief rather than looking impressed. I persevered and put a brave face on but i knew i was kidding no-one, the game was up.

Up top I went from 3 or 4 classy tops to 2 or 3 then down to 2 and eventually they looked a bit worn and I was starting to look rather tired with only 1 decent offering which even I knew didn’t fit every occasion. I was getting so frustrated i started discarding some decent items to help me get through the anxiety claiming they weren’t up to scratch despite them doing me a decent turn previously.

I knew a remedy was needed but what to do? That dreaded word Compromise was being whispered when I was looking in the wardrobe and nothing good stared back. Its getting so bad I think I’m as well staying home. I used to shop in Frasers, not just the quality goods mind you but even at the designer areas. Now I’m rummaging around TK Maxx checking out Last Seasons fashions, going through the clearance rails and oddments shelves hoping to get lucky, don’t worry about labels or country or origin, I’m open to anything these days. Yip that’s me you see at every 6am Next Outlet sale,  there I am fighting it out with another struggler for some grubby discarded tat which is probably ripped somewhere or missing something but its definitely something that no one with real money wants. I’ve even resorted to borrowing gear here and there, I’m getting so bad I’m grabbing anything and sometimes don’t even try it on first! Some suggest  making my own clothes and I’ve dabbled here and there but I usually just lose patience with that but push might come to shove and I might just have to go all in for the homespun wares.

Heaven only knows where this is all headed.

What’s next Primark? Clothes banks? Hey I’m halfway there, that’s me at the Clothes Swap gathering, see me shouting loud and proud, I’m open to offers, what you got? Although I admit what I’m offering these days is getting harder and harder to shift! But hey, could be worse. Least I’m not yet like my neighbour across the road, I haven’t started going in for the Turkey fakes yet….have I?