Cash, Bang, Wallop

Broadsword looks at recent developments in the court of Session…

Following the SENSATIONAL verdict at the Inner House of the Court of Session earlier this week, we look at what HMRC could now look to do with the WARCHEST available to them ranging from £47m-£90m, depending upon how close the journalist was to the Erskine Bridge.

The current Knight of the Realm, Sir David Murray, should be able to advise them how to splash the cash as he knew how to do it, as if it wasn’t his own money!

So, what can HMRC look to do with this windfall? Our experts have compiled this highly relevant and coherent list of options:

⦁ A Harrier Jet

Why? Doesn’t matter does it? The fact is that they CAN and the rest of Scottish football should be afraid, very afraid. Maybe they could use to transport the European Cup when they win it?

⦁ SNAP UP A CARRIBEAN ISLAND

Again, I hear you ask why? Well, why not? It could be the ideal honeytrap for aggressive off-shore tax avoiders?

⦁ NAB  23 CRUISE MISSILES

No practical use whatsoever, but, hey ho, that’s what they are can buy now of so let’s put it out there!

⦁ GAZUMP THE ROYALS!

Buckingham Palace, when it goes on the market, has to be worth a dig now. Again, why? Does it matter ya plamph?

⦁ NOTHING

There’s actually nae cash!

Now, the euphoria and alcohol from the Court ruling has worn off please allow me to explain myself. When Rangers signed Claudio Reyna it took their wage bill to a reported £23m per year, leading to one of the national tabloids to declare them as one of Scotland’s ‘most generous employers’. The nasally-spoken correspondent went on to detail what Rangers could have bought at the time, for an equivalent amount – it was a celebratory piece of nonsense which was reflective of the PR exercise David Murray was conducting for a large period of time. We are now all too aware that, whilst they were rewarding their employees rather handsomely for their services, they were doing so at the expense of, well, all of us.

Now, I think I would like to point out that I do not have any desire to see Celtic given an easy time of it by the press, nor would I wish to read triumphalist nonsense akin to what went on for much of the time that David Murray poisoned Scottish football. Too many folk in the media were happy to indulge him in his fantasies, too few asked the questions which needed asking.

This image, in particular, was one which was popular around the time in question:

Granted, he is probably the most confident individual to have run a football club (into the ground) in this country but this was when he was regularly telling those who would peddle his tales that Rangers would soon have £100m to play with, that the Rangers manager would have a ‘warchest’ of anything between £25m-£50m and that the pitch would live on the moon. Hindsight is marvellous as we all know but why did nobody of substance, in the media, actively call him out on this? Rangers were playing their football in Scotland, the English were starting to pull away from us for good and nobody in Scotland was doing anything of note in Europe. The mismanagement of Celtic, especially in the early 90s, must have provided some form of education on football finance in the sports media in this country? For balance, I’ll state that many members of the media were pretty damn good at stepping up and asking questions of the old, and new, Celtic regimes. I think the Sport in Question episode where Michael Kelly told the world that he should have an office and a spa in Cambuslang because his Granda played for the club is a decent indicator of this. If you haven’t seen it then it’s worth a watch here https:

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_1_JrYl1Iw
A Rangers themed edition 15 years ago could have been very interesting.

There’s going to be plenty more to come about the role and actions of David Murray and a few others who shafted the treasury, destroyed a club and employed Kevin Muscat. I have an appetite to see some proper questions being asked this time because I would like to know, as someone who has paid to watch top flight Scottish football for a number of years, was I watching an unfair contest? Also, as a taxpayer and therefore a contributor to the United Kingdom treasury, I would like to know why a group of very well paid people felt it necessary to pay other well paid people lots of money without any contributions being made towards the Crown and the defence of the realm in general?

Breath shall not be held however; I don’t think this week has seen the last of the pyrotechnics for the foreseeable future.