Match Preview – Easyjet show their true colours

Following the Malmo game the other night, I was expecting to write a rather sombre match preview for our game against Dundee United on Saturday.

It was going to be the usual “Jackie Mac…hmmm, no ma cup of tea to be honest, thank god we never ended up wae him before signing Ronnie”, followed by the  quick compare and contrast of recent league form with the talk of both managers currently under pressure. Then it would be a serving of the classic standard “Which half-broken Celts will fall out of the Clinic to take part while having one eye on the up and coming Champions league return leg?” with a liberal dashing of “Scott Allan, too soon or just right for a Barry Robson at Pittodrie style introduction”.

It would all be topped off with a summation of “It will be tough, nasty but fingers crossed Kris Commons will step up and save the day for a wee 3-1 victory all going well.”.

And then I took an Easyjet flight.

I picked up the inflight Magazine, and  saw these entries under  a “Grudge matches of the season” style article .

Lets just take a moment to appreciate this wonderful piece of journalism and illustration.

The journalist is named as Bill Edgar of The Times, and to be fair, the paragraph is fine and even points to a Celtic win, which is nice. The fact that he didn’t need to mention a certain other club is even better, and wouldn’t have happened if a record or Scottish Sun journo had penned it….oh he did…damn-it it…what was I thinking..so close Bill, so close but I liked the animosity touch to be fair!

That brings us to the illustrator …well…step forward one Mr Matt Johnstone.

All I can say is one word….WHATTHEFUCKISTHATFUCKINGTHING?

Look at it again?

Take a second and compare and contrast the two figures.

I’m assuming they are female.

Look at the lovely blonde hair on the Dundee United fan while the Celtic fan seems to have borrowed a wig from the Coronation Street Pat Pheonix archives.

Look at how the Celtic fan points at the United fan, the same United fan who bravely tries to just carry on showing her loyal support despite the clear provocation.

See how sweetly the smiling Dundee United fan sings, I’m surprised he never put in little birds, some cheery woodland creatures and 7 dancing dwarves around about her given such Snow White innocence.

Compare that to the angry faced, snarling, ugly Celtic fan.  And just what is it that is coming out of the Celtic fans mouth? Anger? Hatred? Is it pure bile? Is she incapable of actual words? Is she ranting in Swear words or attempting to bellow some of those ugly songs the decent minded world shouldn’t be subjected too perhaps?

Where is FoCUS when you need them?

And then we come to the final classic point? Look at the actual  figure of the United fan. Nothing to see there. Fine.

Now look at the Celtic fan. We will ignore the Worlds Strongest man arms and get to the main point. She is either…fat and can no longer fit into her Celtic jersey and clearly has no self respect in that regard….OR…she is pregnant and carries such decorum that she gladly exhibits the pregnancy outside her sad attempts at clothing. The possible suggestion of Celtic / Catholic fans being pregnant all the time is perhaps a step too far for some but its there nonetheless.

They say we are paranoid but sometimes you do have to think “Really”. The Easyjet flight I was on was one of their newer aircraft, it was all lovely tangerine and black livery, good for them. Im sure Easyjet will be raring to go when United need transport for their European trips. Hopefully there wont be 3 points going towards any such qualification this weekend.

Etims Prediction

Easyjet FC 1: 3 Celtic Pregnancy Tester XI