This time of year theres a lot of nonsense in the papers designed purely to keep people buying them, and some of the stories are just silly.

Some of the headlines are equally daft;

Commons grounded needed to tie

Kris down to new deal at Celtic

Thats from the Evening Times, and its one of those clever plays on words that turns out not to be quite so clever when you realise it doesn’t make any sense.

Another headline that doesn’t make any sense appeared in the Record;

Celtic are line up £1.5million swoop

for former Hibs forward Eoin Doyle

This one is wrong in a number of ways. Firstly, in the language, and secondly in the story. Celtic aurely will not be bringing in another forward, and almost certainly not one at that price when they could easily give the cash to John Guidetti as a signing on fee to allow for the lower salary he would receive at the club.

Apart from that, whoever spotted the lad doing the busines down at Chesterfield in the Derbyshire Football combination is undoubtedly the same person who brought us Bangura, Lassua, Miku, Pukki, Balde and Daryl Murphy. Perhaps he’s been told to find us another striker or he’s out on his arse, and this is his last throw of the dice.

A bit like Gregor Fisher, playing a Rangers scout in the famous Rikki Fulton sketch, who after presenting the Ibrox manager with a catholic, proceeding then to offer his second choice, the evidently light footed bowler hatted Englishman.

This search for a striker, which incidentally considering Celtics track record with the press and signings, is obviously a red herring designed to keep their attention away from the real targets, who are more likely to be centre halfs or creative midfielders.

Apart from the three main strikers at the club, new Derry sensation Michael Duffy scored twice in a 3-1 development squad win over Newcastle on Tyneside yesterday, which means he at the very least deserves to be the next big thing. On January 21, down in Dartford, Celtic face Villareal in the Premier Challenge Cup, and Duffy is certain to feature.

You’d like to think that we would give him a chance before spending any money.

Especially when you consider Lawwells reaction to the price on Doyles head;

To be fair to doyle, he has scored an astonishing 22 goals this season, in a league which can at best be described as physical, so he does know where the net is. Its just that its difficult to see why Deila would fancy him.

After all, he’s got ginger hair, and no-one fancies anyone with ginger hair.

Alright maybe there are some exceptions.

And one for the ladies…

All these mistakes in the papers means that credit is due to the official Celtic site and its typesetters ( how old are you ? Ed ) who thankfully got the words ” best attackers ” and “remarkable saves ” in the right order here, when describing Craig Gordon.

HE’S faced some of the world’s best attackers and pulled off some remarkable saves but now Craig Gordon is about to face the ultimate test of skill and composure. 

This is when you feel a little sorry for back up keeper Lukasz Zaluska. He finally get a chance to sit somewhere warm during the game, and relax in the good weather, and then Deila decides to make him work for his money. You see, Craig Gordon will be working for Celtic TV, offering commentary and summary on the PSV Eindhoven friendly tomorrow night, which means that Zaluska will no doubt be playing.

All of which kind of makes Stefan Johansens claims seem a little , well, redundant;

 “We are going to play Inter Milan in the Europa League, so it’s good for us to play PSV – who are a really good team – and Sparta Prague, as well.

“They are two big games, and we need to get to that level if we want to beat Inter.” 

“To do that in a friendly, we need to be working hard every day.

“This is a perfect chance for us to improve as a team and I’m really looking forward to it.

“It’s important for us.” 

“I came to Celtic to win trophies,”

“Football is about winning, and that’s what I’m going to try to do with Celtic.

“Hopefully, I will win more trophies this season and improve as a player.” 

 Look, we know they are away on a jolly. Theres no harm in them having a break. But please, spare us all the “hard work starts here ” shite.

 As long as the side hits the ground running when they get back, I couldn’t give a toss if they spent every day out there drinking beer, smoking fags and chasing loose women. My mother used to warn me about loose women. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the ones I knew were so loose that bits were falling off them.

 Anyway, you can follow the games live on Celtic Tv, and the shennanigans on the town on Channel Five.

I think the shows called Fenian Frolics.

The SFA have moved swiftly to dispell any fears that Celtic or its supporters may have regarding the appoiuntment of Bobby Madden to referee the upcoming League cup semi final betwen Celtic and Second Rangers.  Madden appeared in front of the cameras to put everyones mind at rest;

Speaking of sahs wearing bigots, , if you have a spare £1200 quid or so, you can buy the delightfully named Orange county Drum Kit. Which has nothing to do with sash wearing bigots, but if you know of one, you could make a few bob by selling him this;

I’m sure theres someone down in Orange Country who likes to bang on a drum from time to time.

Oh, my bad. Orange county

Still, they won’t notice.

 Charles Green , once of Second Rangers, would no doubt make a few bob, and we hear he needs it, as things are not going to well for him these days in his new post at Yorkshire councils traffic Management department.

 Away from Celtic for a moment, and the Asian Cup is about to start. Palestine have qualified for the first time, and the full story will make you want to fly out to Australia, where the tournament is held, and throw your support behind them.

And its  a hell of a story.

 Palestine national team.

 Bertie Auld was cheering the feat of reaching a second European Cup final in the clubs fourth  attempt back in 1970, where the mighty Leeds United were despatched home and away , much to the consternation of the English media.

From players celebrating, to fans having a good time. Quite a few as well. whats the occasion ?

 Etims would like to pass on its condolences to the family and friends of Mark Kane, the man who inspired the Kano Foundation, who has passed away in hospital in Australia. He was 46. 

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

John Paul Gilmartin, a trustee of the charity said: “Martin’s passing has come as a shock to everyone at The Kano Foundation and our thoughts and prayers are with his wife Carolyn, his children and his family at this sad time.

“Martin was a well-loved member of the Celtic family and an inspiration to us all in the way he fought to overcome his illness.

“We are honoured to have had him as our patron and it will be with a touch of sadness that we continue our work in his honour. ” 

“But it will also be with the real privilege of having known him and we are sure Martin would be proud, just as he always was in

life.” 

Rest in Peace.