Well, alright. Fan.
Celtic are in Zagreb tonight for the final game in the Europa League group stages. The game is live on BT Sports, and it starts at 6pm.
Which is the single most ridiculous time to start a football match that anyone has ever come up with in the history of the game. We’ve done the noons, the twelve thirties, the quarter to ones, and anything else the tv companies can throw at us, which are bad enough, but six o’clock on a Thursday ?
Theres no time for a beer after work if you want to make the kick off, and afterwards you need to lay off it because you’ve work in the morning.
The idea behind it is to allow as many games as possible to be broadcast and thus fill the airwaves with all manner of tripe from all over Europe. One day , some tv executive will sit down, look at the viewing figures and put a stop to it, replacing it with something far more appealing to the public , such as the World Snail Racing competition, or Synchronised Cycling.
Anyhoo, I’ve written a letter to FIFA asking them to step in and tell UEFA to stop fannying about with our game;
Dear FIFA,
Do me a favour and have a word with UEFA and tell them to stop fannying around with our game.
Yours, Ralph.
I didn’t get a reply, but it didn’t take me long to work it out. So, i tried it in arabic, so that they’ll think i know something…
عزيزي “الفيفا من فضلك” قل تصفيات أوروبا لوقف فانيينج حولها مع لعبتنا. لقد حصلت على ما زالت الصور. رالف.
Which, if my schoolboy Arabic is correct, means
Dear FIFA
Please tell UEFA to stop fannying around with our game. I’ve still got the photos.
Ralph.
He got that one.
Manager Ronny Deila has left Scott Brown at home, so don’t put any money on Celtic winning. Without Brown in Europe we tend to get a little overrun and tonight will only be different if Zagreb manage to be even less interested in the meaningless tie than Celtic are. It would have been better for the two teams to pretend to have played and just phoned UEFA tonight and told them it was a draw.
Staying behind with Brown are the ineligible John Guidetti, James Forrest, Charlie mulgrew, Mikael Lustig and Jason Denaayer. That does keave room for others to make a name for themselves, but its hard to see where the motivation will come from without Brown.
Celtic’s assistant manager, John Collins, said:
“Scott Brown has been left behind. He is on a booking so we will rest him and I think he deserves a little rest. James Forrest stayed at home; he will be ready for the weekend.
“But we will approach it the same as every other game, the exact same preparation. We will treat them with respect. We want a good performance and we want to finish the group on a high.
“The lads have done terrifically well in qualifying. It is a nice position to be in but ultimately we want a result and we want a performance.
“We can go and enjoy the game but you only enjoy it if you play well and get a result. There is a chance there will be one or two changes but not too many changes, that is always dangerous.”
Then again, if they can’t motivate themselves for a game, and grab a chance to impress, then perhaps they should consider their futures…
Dead rubber game it may be, but one fellow will remember it for the rest of his life.
Kieran Tierney made his debut for the first team in the friendly against Tottenham in the summer, but hasn’t let that put him off. He’s continued to progress and deserves a chance to feel a part of the big squad.
He made a bit of a name for himself earlier this season when he did this against Hearts while playing for the development squad;
Kieran Tierney scores from the edge of his own box
Good luck to him. It is always great to see one of our own given a chance to make the grade.
One who should make the grade but isn’t one of ours yet is Martin Odegaard, and the press are starting to wake up to the possibility that he will be a Celtic player soon. Not on loan, not on trial, but a fully fledged and commited player.
Stefan Johansen has had a word with him as well;
“I’ve talked a lot with Martin, We keep in touch and speak on the phone a lot. I’ve told him that Celtic can be a good choice for him.
“The way we play would suit him. We have the ball a lot and that’s what Martin likes. He wants to be on the ball and creating chances. Every team needs a player like that. He also knows the gaffer at Celtic but it’s difficult when so many clubs want you. What can I say? He’s a patient boy and is very mature in the way he thinks.
“His father helps him a lot and I think the right thing for him is to take the best step for his career.
“To say that you are going to go and play at Real Madrid and compete against Ronaldo and Gareth Bale and those guys right away – for a 15-year-old that’s going to be difficult. He would be unlikely to play right away at a Real Madrid or Barcelona. Of course it would be difficult.
“I speak to him all the time and he knows the manager here at Celtic and also myself. But he needs to choose for himself. I’m sure he will make the right decision – although if he wants to take my position in the team at Celtic, he can stay home in Norway!
“But seriously, Martin is an amazing talent and I hope he comes to Celtic. The gaffer has shown in Norway that he is very good with young players and he gives them a chance when they deserve it.”
No doubt when he does come there will be a huge sell on clause in his contract, ensuring Stromgodset get a second pay day. Its all about who you know, I guess…
Away from tonights game, look, i know the win is important for the co-eficient, and that would help to avoid starting the season in the middle of July in years to come, but its hard to work up a fuss over the game.
Well, until it starts , that is.
Away from the game, -I’ll try again- Fans Against Criminalisation, the group set up to combat the extraordinary bill , unique to Scotland, concerning behaviour at football matches, have launched a website;
You should have a look at it. You might need it some day.
Things like this;
Your Rights
- Do not plead guilty until you have received legal advice
- Do not speak during your initial interview without legal advice except to confirm your name, address, date and place of birth and your nationality
- You have a right to speak to a solicitor but this can, in some circumstances, initially be by telephone
- If you are not comfortable with this solicitor you do not have to use them after release
- In most cases, the police can only detain you for 24 hours
- You have the right to have someone notified regarding your arrest
- You also have the right to know exactly why you have been arrested, to see the written codes regarding your rights and to speak to the custody officer
- Please contact FAC upon your release
Or this;
Police Stops and Searches:
The police, where they have reasonable grounds for suspecting a person has committed or is committing an offence, or they suspect a person has information relating to an offence, only have the power to require you to provide the following personal information:
- NAME – ADDRESS – DATE OF BIRTH – PLACE OF BIRTH – NATIONALITY
- The police must tell you that you are suspected of committing or witnessing a crime and the general nature of this crime.
- The police may detain you under these circumstances for up to 12 hours without charging you
- Once again, the only details you are required to give the police are those listed above. You are well within your rights to decline to answer any other questions.
- If being unjustly harassed, always get the officer’s badge number and name if possible. You can use this to either make a complaint with the police directly or through FAC
Contact details for solicitors:
Paul Kavanagh – 07970651742
Barry McCormack – 07511532888
William McCluskey – 0141 418 0148
0141 418 0148
Much better advice than what I usually do. Running away and shouting ” You”ll never take me alive copper ” hasn’t worked in the past, and is unlikely to in the future.
Something else you should have a look at now, and get involved in.
Celtic has launched its annual Christmas charity appeal. Two hundred local families will get a better Christmas out of it, and to me, to all of us in fact, that is what the club is all about;
Have a look at the video, and do whatever you can. Its tough this time of year for some people, and instead of buying Bob Geldofs dirge, look a little closer to home when you decide where to put your spare cash this year.
Now, news reaches us that we will indeed have a new shirt manufacturer in.
New Balance, from Boston Massachussetts will be doing the kit next year. They’ve ventured into sports sponsorship before, not always with a great deal of success…
The company previously partnered with Matt Bonner of the National Basketball Association (NBA)‘s San Antonio Spurs, providing him with shoes over a period of several years. During the 2010-2011 NBA season, Bonner was sent a prototype for a signature shoe that he was developing with the brand, but the shoes fell apart at the beginning of the game that he first wore them in; after Bonner was informed that the prototype shoes were not meant to be worn, a representative informed him that New Balance was ceasing its sponsorship of basketball.[
Well, it can’t be any worse than that first Nike hoops top.
Over at cash strapped first division side Second Rangers, it looks like “bah humbug ” all round. ( Look, its bah humbug, I checked. Definitely an M )
Which reminds me.
What do you call a hun in a santa outfit ?
An orange bastard , don’t let the outfit fool you.
I’m here all week, try the veal etc…
Neil MacCallum scored Celtics first ever goal, and that was him in the Diary yesterday.
Good to see young Tierney getting a deserved promotion.Has
potential,and will be great experience for him.Sends out a morale boosting message to our other youth players,if they are good enough,they will get a chance.Well done,Ronny.
Looked like a player when he came on at Goodison the other week, hope he gets a start and takes advantage.
Get the league wrapped up soonest, let the ’emerging youth’ and squad fillers play in the cups, send the main squad away for their break, get them back, then gear up properly for the CL Qualifiers.
The club needs to organise the season around these 3 ties, they should be our financial and footballing priority.
We need to get players in in January and get them up to speed for these games.
Agree 100%.
However,as I have said before,my biggest worry(and it’s not Ronny) is will we be ready for qualifiers ?
We should have a settled team for our most important games,
but…Gordon,Lustig,Izzy,Broony,Johansen and possibly Stokesy
(although I don’t rate him) will start qualifiers.Providing they are fit,especially Lustig.Throw in Mulgrew,as long as his form improves,and we have ONLY half a team,at present,who we can rely on for these games.Sorry,add Forrest,if fit.
The scenario above,means Ronny has a BIG job,having a team ready for CL qualifiers.
Last year I thought we would have prioritised the qualifiers and be manned up for it as stated above, we were not.
We seemed to be winging it, HOPING to squeeze through like we did the year before.
You only need to watch the EPL teams being outplayed by teams in the CL/EL with lower turnover than us, to realise how far behind and short of real talenty we are.
You are spot on, we need about 4 QUALITY players in January.
Easier said than done “wrap the leasgue up”. Hopefully it will be the case, but i dont think it will be at all easy.
Good article as usual, ta.
no xmas at ipox lucy barstewards I have to put up with the christian shite every year
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!
Well, why don’t you just fuck off and join them.
heidcase
I have deliberately avoided reacting to your brainless comments in the past but I can not let this degenerate remark go unnoticed. You, sir are an utter disgrace. Decent human beings show respect for the beliefs of others. Only an ignoramus, a breed that slithers rather than walks, is disdainful and you, sir, you are so slithery you are stuck in your own slime. I am happy to give you the gift you seem to most desire – a painfully miserable Christmas.
Hear hear!
Come on guys theres no need to be abusive to deadhead. How would you guys feel if you had a disabled relative and internet folk were giving them abuse? At Celtic we welcome everyone, no matter what their colour, creed, disability or mental enfeeblement.
Following on from the debate about this young lad, the point everyone I think agrees on is that we need quality added to our squad (whilst clearing out those lacking quality)to ensure we reach the Group stages; whether it’s a young lad from Norway or not I don’t care.
What I want is these quality players added in January for a change. To my mind I’d be happy with the following for qualifiers:
Gordon
Lustig xxx xxx Izzy
Brown Johansen
Forrest xxx xxx
Giudetti
With Mulgrew and Matthews cover for defence, Bitton covers holding, McGregor wide, Scepovic up top, with any other young lads and possibly Tonev/Wakaso if they get the finger out. This is next season as Denayer goes back and VVD is away. So that leaves us four short imho, including two at centre half, two I don’t want flung together in early July at best with a qualifier three days away. Do our business now please!!
If this young lad can be a Lubo for us for 2-3 years it’s a responsibility I think he’s too young for but I’ve never seen him play and no next to nothing about him so happy to be convinced by the manager. Regardless get good business done in January, not July.
You are spot on Gerry but, if somebody like wee Forrest has a good, injury free, second half of the season, they will punt him as his contract ends January 2016. Flying by the seat of your pants in transfer terms seems to be the way now and forward planning is not on the agenda.
Think we are sharing hymn sheets 🙂
(Reply from FIFA to Ralph Malph) Dear Ralph Re the 6pm kick off.
Croatia you see Ralph is 2 hours ahead and the poor locals have to get to bed by 1am.D’ye know what I mean Ralph.
Cheers Sepp B.
Dear Frankie.
Stop telling Ralph porkies (I wouldn’t do that would I ???)
It’s only 1 hour ahead.
Cheers Seppy Bhoy @ FIFA Headquarters.
Couldn’t agree more with the comments that any signings for July 2015 CL qualifiers should be done in January, especially as we’ll need 2 centre halves and they’ll need at least 6 months to build up an understanding with each other. If Big Virgil has his heart set on leaving then sell him in January to get the money for his replacement. I like Denayer but if there’s no chance of him staying next season then I’d drop him to the bench and have our 2 new guys playing together from January. We need to plan for what’s best for us, not Man City.
We need a creative midfielder and this young lad is certainly getting a good reputation, I’m a bit worried at his age (how many times have we seen the next big thing at 16 disappear by the time they’re 20)….but Deila obviously knows him well so I’m ready to trust his judgement.
We should be ok for a draw tonight at least in an empty stadium.
Can I mention an article in yesterday’s National paper written by Lee Roden ‘Celtic but not as we know it’.About a small Catalan club that started fifty years ago after their admiration for Celtic values when they played Barcelona in 1964 during the Inter Cities Fairs Cup.
This article requires more coverage as it shows the values that Celtic aspire too. Not the usual dirge about Sevco, who cares about a valueless organisation
This article is encapsulated by their president Augastin Ancosta who states ‘”Tell the supporters que mai deixincaminarsol aquest gran equip” Never let the great team walk alone in Catalan “Viscacha el Celtic” long live Celtic he punctuates.
More coverage of positives and less of Sevco
Ho ho ho! Liked that joke and intend to use it ad nauseam.
We played in Georgia in 95 in the CWC. KO was 3pm on a Thursday afternoon. I was sitting in a classroom listening to it on the radio. When I jumped and punched the air mid lesson after Andy Thom scored the 3rd, the teacher turned and shouted “WHAT’S THE SCORE?!
Dry yer eyes!
a hun ina santa suit ho ho ho ya’ warmers
Does the Norwegian wonderbairn command some fee? or is it freedom o contract
Development fee
Ralph
Just got home – missed it! Bloody tv. I was so looking forward to the defeat as well.
Loved today’s Diary so much I wanted to milk it like the old days down on the farm.
Don’t you see the value of you keeping us smiling – and sometimes more – even on the gloomiest days. You are not allowed negativity. That is restricted to us greeting faces that comment.
H H
1. Where will 4 quality players come from in the January transfer window – it’s wishful thinking at best, total delusion at worst to think January going to usher in real quality.
2. Wasn’t the Zagreb player who scored a hat trick last night a teenager? What does that tell us?
3. Celtic don’t do that well with teenagers or am I wrong? And not many real finds have come through the Celtic youth system in recent years. most seem to fade pretty quickly and sensibly seek their future elsewhere.
There,s a bloke plays centre half for current Asian champions Western Sydney Wanderers in a league and he is as good a defender as I,Ve seen anywhere.only drawback he is29 but he would do a job for us if we lose v v d.cost? washers.
My bad.nikolai topor-Stanley.alsoagood young left back with Perth glory called Scott Jamieson same price.
They scored some good goals last night we could have had a couple more ourselves but that aside our defence was shocking again.
That surely has to be Efe’s last outing in a Celtic jersey in Europe?
Mathews is another woefully inept last night throughout and upstaged by a younger keener bhoy who I think should be moved up behind Lustig in the RB pecking order.
Bitton,McGregor were not up to standard last night.
Johansen is far more effective in the No10 role.
The only upsides last night for me were the performances of Scepovic up front ,Wakaso on the left and the Youngsters who came on and put in a performance.
the rest need to learn to defend as well as attack.
If we can keep Denayer for another Year on Loan then we need to find a LB,CB and a DM with pace in Jan to give us any hope of going on in this Competition.
Schoolboy defending will be hammered at this level Legia proved that earlier this Season.
We seem to be useless at clearing a ball out of defence further than 20 yards?
It’s pathetic for a professional Footballer cannot achieve such a simple task as that.