Celtic Diary Thursday January 9

There were several replies to yesterdays diary, which contained a few ideas about how to move the club forward and repair the broken ties between the support and the PLC.

But , as one or two pointed out, how do we get them in front of Peter Lawwell and the board ? At least then they could be considered, and if not viable, then we would know why.

So, after much thought, I have a plan….

First we need this guy;

Remember him ? He’s the Khazak senator who supplements his income by doing Peter Lawwell impressions. If we can get him over this weekend , and get him to learn a speech announcing some of the changes that most supporters would want to see, then by the time Lawwell realises what we have done, he’ll be too busy basking in praise and walking on rose petals to tell anyone it wasn’t him. The only drawback is if members of the press spot that its not actually the Celtic CEO delivering the speech. So, to test the water, I sent a little “spot the difference ” quiz out to all those who make a living reporting on Scottish football.

As we have suspected for quite some time, none of them could tell the difference.

Also in yesterdays diary was a cutting from the Rangers Standard, which accused Celtic and Glasgow City council of dodgy dealings over land purchases. Clearly nonsense, but it managed to make Reporting Scotland last night, showing yet again the impartiality of the media in the best wee country in the world.

The BBC. Broadcasting Bullshit Constantly.

Celtic , quite rightly, released a statement , denying the allegations, and calling them “preposterous “, which led to journalists switching on their spellcheckers all across the land;

‘Celtic Football Club operates to the highest standards and with the utmost integrity. At a time when the Club is committed to investing in and improving areas around Celtic Park, not only for Celtic supporters but for the benefit of the local community, it is sad that these baseless accusations have been raised with the European Commission.

´Any suggestion that Celtic has been the beneficiary of state aid is preposterous – as ludicrous as any suggestion that we have benefited from soft loans from our bankers. The historic transactions referred to were negotiated with the Council on commercial terms at market rates.

´The Club will assist the Commission fully with the process and will not be deterred from our work to improve our local area.´

So will you just fuck off. Your clubs deid.

Actually, I added the last line. Thats me, always available to help.

For anyone who has connections with the old toxic club who is reading this, cheap loans are common in the financial world, usually offered to companies that have a better than average record of actually making the payments.

You really would think that the likes of Chris Graham, who is chief blogger over there, would have other things to worry about.  Still, he is unique amongst his ilk, having two first names instead of two second names, so he probably has to sit by himself at the lodge.

Celtic TV and Premier Sports have outbid Sky and BT to secure the broadcast rights for tonights crucial clash against Trabzonspor. Kick off is six thirty, and already the tension and excitement is building.

It might just be worth watching, as Johann Mjallby has hinted that Amido Balde and Teemu Pukki might play together, which was probably why they were bought in the first place.

‘Some players have played 40 games this season. For those who haven’t played much this is a chance to get some game time,’ he said. ‘It’s a great opportunity for those players, a chance for them to impress the manager.

‘Balde and Pukki are likely to play together in at least one of the games. It’s not been easy for them to get into the team because of this unbeaten run we’re on at the moment.

‘That’s the way it should be at a club like Celtic. But they are here for a reason so they should look at this as a chance to impress the manager.

‘We believe they’ve got it. It’s been a frustrating time for them but hopefully we can get some confidence by scoring, which strikers live by.’

Pukki has only managed three goals so far, and big Dolph thinks he has to do better;

Teemu is a quiet boy,He isn’t a livewire who is going to speak up in the dressing room. But everyone is different.

‘That’s his character, but he’s a good footballer.

‘As a player you cannot just sit and wait for your chance and expect that you’re going to be playing if you’re not scoring goals. He needs to grasp his chance to take it when he gets it and now would be a good time. ”

So, Pukki is a quiet chap by nature, and judging the expression of terror on Amido Baldes face whenever he takes the field, perhaps these two need to do a bit more work off the field. We could get Tony Mowbray to teach them a little bit of aggression. Or Norman Wisdom.

They are a funny lot over at Ibrox. It seems even a spell at Celtic doesn’t improve their knowledge of the real world. Steven Pressley, once of Rangers and  currently manager at crisis club Coventry City, is said to be considering a £250,000 bid for Dylan McGeouch, despite his club currently serving a transfer ban.

Presumably he is just showing he is more than taking over at Ibrox when the third incarnation of the club is born later this year.

Virgil van Dijk, who is  the subject of speculation surrounding a move south, has warned off potential suitors by revealing he once feared he’d never play football again;

“I had an abscess in my abdomen three years ago. At first, they gave me some medicine because they thought it was just stomach pain but for two days after that I threw up some green stuff.

“My stomach was not good. So I went back to the medics and they did some urine tests.

“They didn’t find anything but the day after that, I went to the hospital because I couldn’t take the pain any more and they said I needed an operation. I was seriously ill. The doctors said it was really dangerous.

“I lost around 15 kilogrammes as I had poison in my system and the abscess almost burst. It was dangerous and I was in hospital for 12 days.

“Lucky for me it didn’t burst but I had a lot of drains inserted into my body and it was a worrying time because it came out of nothing.

“I can show you the scars as they tried to operate on one area but they couldn’t, so they closed that and operated at another point. It was big surgery, unbelievable.

“But I got over it and I feel very lucky. Actually, my recovery time was quite quick. They operated on me on April 1 and my first training session afterwards was June 23 but I was not fit at all.

“I was bad. I had no power, no muscles, nothing. But I played every pre-season game and I recovered. It was such a great feeling to be back.

“Does it make me appreciate what I have now? Definitely. The beautiful thing in life for me now is that I do what I love and I get paid for it. That’s a beautiful thing to have.

“Everything happens for a reason and maybe there was a reason that happened to me. But I learned a lot from that. I think I am a better human now in a lot of aspects.”

Well, if I was Arsenal or Manchester City boss, I wouldn’t risk it. Best to leave him where he is and see how he goes on. Say for about ten years.

Another story-or rather two stories, that caught the eye yesterday concerned the marvellous legal system in Scotland.

First…

A man who sent racist tweets to former Rangers players Maurice Edu and Kyle Bartley has been jailed for six months.

Michael Convery, from Glasgow, targeted the players after a game against St Johnstone in Perth on 14 January 2012.

The 43-year-old had denied sending the messages but was convicted following a trial at Glasgow Sheriff Court.

The players – who have since left Rangers – had told Convery’s trial that they were “intimidated” and “shocked” by the tweets.

Although none of the messages were read out in full in open court, it was heard that Bartley was sent a direct comment from Convery and was mentioned in a second one. Edu was sent two direct comments.

Bartley told the court that he saw tweets from an account in the name of Michael Convery when he checked his Twitter account while travelling home on the team bus from a match.

He also saw a message had been sent to team mate Edu.

He said: “I was sat next to Maurice on the coach. So we showed each other the comments.”

Bartley was asked what he did when he received a particular message.

He said: “I actually re-tweeted the tweet. It allowed the public eye to see the comments, and I reported it to David Martin, who is head of security at Glasgow Rangers.”

The court heard the word “monkey” was used. Bartley said it was a comment he was “used to”, adding that he felt “a little bit hurt and disappointed”.

“I just thought society had got over these sorts of comments,” he told procurator fiscal depute Jonathan Kemp.

“Obviously I don’t know Michael Convery, I didn’t understand why he would have so much hate for me.”

Bartley was asked about another racist comment which mentioned his name, but was not sent directly to him.

He said it was “very insulting”.

Bartley said he lived on his own and cannot always have security with him, adding: “I was intimidated”.

Edu said he was shocked and embarrassed when he saw the first message that was sent to him.

The footballer said he looked on the page associated with Convery and said there were similar “aggressive” tweets.

The court heard that in his police interview Convery told officers he was suffering from food poisoning on the date of the offence and had been drifting in and out of sleep in his house.

In evidence, Convery told the court he suspected his teenage son was to blame, although he claimed he did not see any comments being posted.

Convery accepted the twitter messages came from his Blackberry phone and his Twitter account.

The court heard evidence that online searches for “how to delete Twitter” had been made hours after the tweets were sent.

Convery was branded an “unreliable” witness by Sheriff Valerie Johnston.

Fair enough, its an uncomfortable living in a world where you can get the jail for just calling someone names, but theres no doubt its wrong to abuse anyone for the colour of their skin.

Then we have this..

A Rangers fan who Tweeted abuse about Celtic manager Neil Lennon has been cleared of committing an offence.

Christopher Hay, 22, was the first person to be charged under the Offensive Behaviour at Football and Threatening Communications Act in 2012.

He said he wished “someone would kill that ugly ginger” and “I should’ve planned my parcel bombs better”.

Sheriff Stuart Reid cleared Hay after finding there was not the necessary criminal intent to find him guilty.

Glasgow Sheriff Court heard how Hay’s comments were posted the day the 2012 Act came into force and during a high-profile parcel bomb trial at the High Court in Glasgow.

Trevor Muirhead, 44, and Neil McKenzie, 42, from North Ayrshire, sent devices they believed were capable of exploding and causing injury.

The men were found guilty in March 2012 of conspiracy to assaultMr Lennon, former MSP Trish Godman and the late Paul McBride QC and were jailed for five years.

The court heard that during a police operation, Hay’s post was spotted using keywords on a search facility of Twitter.

A designated officer who had to search for offensive messages during the trial of Muirhead and McKenzie, spotted the message and traced it to Hay.

When interviewed by police, Hay admitted posting the comment on his social networking site.

Although he posted the message he claimed it was never intended to be seen by anyone except his 23 friends who “follow” and view his posts on Twitter and that he claimed were “close friends”.

The court heard that Lennon’s name was not mentioned in the comment and it was not directed towards him by copying it on to his official Twitter site but was written about him.

Hay, from Kirkintilloch, East Dunbartonshire, claimed: “I had no intention to cause fear or alarm to anybody. “It was an absolute throwaway comment, I didn’t intend it to go further.”

Nobody reposted the message on their web pages or commented on it. Hay told the court: “It was a moment of madness”.

When asked why he wrote it he said: “I have no reason in particular why I sent it. I can’t even think why I would write such a thing.”

Procurator fiscal depute Stephen Ferguson asked: “If Neil Lennon or someone close to Neil Lennon were to see that how do you think they would feel?”

Hay answered: “They wouldn’t be very pleased about it. Taken aback by it, it’s not very nice, not something you want to see.”

While Sheriff Stuart Reid branded Hay’s comment “an offensive and threatening communication” he said that after considering all of the evidence, that there was not the necessary criminal intent needed for him to be found guilty. ”

But its okay to threaten the life of someone who has been living under the shadow of  death threats…

Scotland -the best wee country in the world.

Elsewhere, Buoyed by Thomas Hitzlsperger’s honesty in coming out as a homosexual, many footballers are announcing previously hidden embarassing secrets of their own.

Joey Barton has confessed to being ”a bit of an arsehole.”

Steven Gerrard has admitted to being born in Liverpool.

And Ally Mccoist is expected to reveal later that he is a talentless fat sleekit bastard. Except thats not really a secret .