The Etims Christmas SongBook

Murray the Showman

 Murray the Showman, 

Had very floppy hair

The AGM said No,

Paul it’s time to go,

No-body wants you there

But Murray, the Showman,

Is in no hurry on his way,

Though he waves goodbye,

Sayin’ “I won’t cry!”

“I’ll be back again someday.”

Away in a CEO

Away in a Fir Park, no cause for a ban,

The little Lord Lawwell played the wrong hand.

 The Guys in the Green Brigade looked shocked ‘twat he said,

Had Little Lordy Peter stopped taking his meds?

The sights now are lowing, the truth now awakes,

But little Lordy Lawwell no apology he makes. 

We pay Thee, Lord Lawwell, a reckoning is nigh

Be careful Lordy Peter to fall from so high.

So hear we, Lord Peter, We ask Thee to mind

We hold the purse-strings and we arenae blind

 Protect all the dear Celts now in thy well renumerated care,

or leave us in Paradise, cause we wont miss you there.

Jungle Bells 

Oh, jungle bells, jiungle bells

Jungle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to laugh

At a Sevco AGM day

jungle bells, jiungle bells

Jungle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to laugh

At a Sevco AGM day

The Little Drummer Boy 

Vote they told me

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

No Davie King to see

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

Our finest moans we bring

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

The board are just laughing

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb,

dumb, dumb dumb dumb,

dumb, dumb dumb dumb

Tried to evict Brian

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

Cant do sums

Little Ally

Pa rum pum pum pum

Youre not a poor Hun too

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

I have no 880 grand earnings

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

That’s liberty piss-taking

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb,

dumb, dumb dumb dumb,

dumb, dumb dumb dumb

Shall I march for Jim

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

With my drum

Murray nodded

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

The Mason and Bam kept time

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

I played my drum for Jim

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

I played the Sash for Him

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb,

dumb, dumb dumb dumb,

dumb, dumb dumb dumb

The Board still ignored me

Ra dumb, dumb dumb dumb

I feel so dumb, dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb, dumb

Anyone Want to buy a drum?

Malcolm The Blue Nosed Requisitioner

 You know Paul, and McColl, and

Dingwall, and Chrissy,

Wilson, and Murdoch, and

Houston and Findlay

But do you recall

The most famous Requisitioner of all

Malcolm The Red Nosed Requisitioner

had a very well skelped arse

and if you ever saw it

you would say his wallet must be made of glass.

All of the other Requisitioners

used to pretend and say he’s fine

But all the real Board members

Wouldnt give him any time.

Then one foggy AGM eve

Sandy came to say:

“Murray with your arse so skelped,

Your voting chance is shot to hell!”

Then all the Requisitioners loved him

Cause they had been rejected too,

Malcolm The Blue Nosed Requisitioner,

Feck off there nothing more to do!

AGM Night

AGM night, huns in the shite!

Board are calm,  futures so bright.

Round yon staircase, Easdales and Brian.

Talking revenge on Ally for lying,

Sleep with the fishes Al,

Sleep with the fishes Al

AGM night, huns in the shite!

Dingwall quakes at phone light.

Easdale plots another plan

Revenge awaits the fat ugly fan,

Sleep with the fishes Mark,

Sleep with the fishes Mark

AGM night, huns in the shite!

Chuck, toasts with his pal Craig.

They raise another glass to their lips

To the cashcow that they get to strip,

Watch your ship, sink down Huns!

Watch your ship, sink down Huns!

Craig White Christmas

I’m dreaming of a Craig White Christmas

Just like the ones Huns used to face

Where the Overdrafts glistens

and raging huns are smitten

Screaming No Surrender up the marble staircase.

I’m dreaming of a Craig white Christmas

With every requisitioner the Board smites

May your administration be hairy and shite

And may all your downfalls be Craig White.

I’m dreaming of a Craig White Christmas

With every Transfer request Ally writes

May your liquidation be a final goodnight

And may all Timaloys praise Craig White.