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Celtic Diary Wednesday March 3

Venezuelan striker Miku has called his time at Celtic a “mistake”. His claims yesterday that he hasn’t had any game time, no-one speaks to him, he hates the weather and the food give a little hint that he won’t be around next season.

“It was a mistake to go there. Simply because I cannot do anything. At first I did not understand. I said to myself “how might I come to play in the best league in the world (meaning Spain) and play no part in Scotland?” , he whined.

I think there might be a clue in the latter part of his statement. Attitude -wise, that is. anyay, he carried on, shifting the blame again.

“But then I realised that things had nothing to do with sport.” Oh, thats what it is. Then the coaching staff got both barrels.

“We do not talk. I like people to tell the truth. I don’t like that they say one thing to my face and another thing behind my back” he explained, to a newspaper in Venezuela. Presumably just repeating what he had said to the faces of the coaching staff.

Well, thats a few bob that can be spent on something useful this summer.

The fallout from the Bobby Madden Sunday Show has begun. St. Mirren striker Esmael Goncalves has been given a notice of complaint for his dive during the game. He has been offered a two match ban rather than face a tribunal.

He’s been cited under rule 202;

“No player shall cause a match official to make an incorrect decision and / or support an error of judgement on the part of a match official by an act of simulation.”

He has until Thursday to respond. Madden , of course, will be the subject of rule 202a;

“No referee shall receive any form of criticism or punishment, even if the evidence shows he is not capable of performing his duties purely due to a lack of competence.”

Victor Wanyama says he was surprised to be given any sort of card for his tackle on Paul McGowan in the same game;

“When I was going into the tackle, my aim was to get the ball. When I saw I couldn’t touch the ball, I left my leg up to block the ball. The ball was already gone, and I just touched him a little bit. I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was just going to be a foul, not any card.”

Which seems a reasonable explanation of what happened. Of course, Madden doesn’t have to explain anything. Rule 202a, you see.

In any other job, in any other walk of life, its sometimes necessary to explain why you have chosen a certain course of action. Especially if you have made a wrong decision, one which has far reaching effects.

For instance, Madden gave a penalty when Goncalves threw himself to the floor. The resultant penalty cost -or could be argued to have cost-win bonuses for the whole Celtic team. In the culture of claim that surrounds the insurance industry these days, do the Celtic players have a case to sue for loss of earnings either a) Goncalves, or b) Madden.

Obviously , it won’t happen, and it shouldn’t happen. but Madden and his ilk should have to explain their actions, and accept responsibility for them. Perhaps it was just an honest mistake.

Now, still on the St. Mirren game, did any of you notice Neil Lennons wee rant at St. Mirrens Jim Goodwin? Lennon called him a “hardman” and a “fanny” after the Paisley ex Celt dumped Dylan McGeouch on his arse.

Goodwin, in the Daily Record , called it a “heat of the moment ” thing-a bit of “banter”


Goodwin , despite the paper trying to make something of nothing, just laughed it off. A video of the rant, which was fairly clearly picked up by the pitchside mics, had gone “viral” and we did have a phone call from our pal billy McBiggot, complaining his daughter was in tears because she had to listen to that “filth” while she had all her pals round for her birthday party.

Another non-story, from a game that had plenty of real stories.

Heres a story, it appears the ASA -advertising standards authority- the toothless watchdog that keeps an eye out for anyone telling fibbers in their adverts-you know the sort of thing, DFS sales, buy one get one free from window companies, – and puts a stop to it. Well, thats the idea, anyway.

62 complaints have been made about a new club claiming to be an old club, and the watchdog are looking in to it. Sure, it seems petty, but so were Al Capones tax returns, and it was that what exposed him and eventually got him sent down.

Of course, there is no chance that Old Rangers tax returns will get them sent down, because they don’t have any.

Still, the ASA investigation will provide an amusing sideshow for a while. Jim Traynor, the director of communications over at New Rangers, has isssued a statement.

“Rangers Football Club can confirm they have responded in full to this ridiculous claim and we know the ASA will take the same view as the football authorities, the European Club Association, ย Lord Nimmo Smith and the panel of the London Stock Exchange. For avoidance of doubt we stress again Rangers FC is Scotlands most successful club.”

Lets hope the ASA don’t read this, from Traynor on the 13 June 2012.;

“Rangers FC will slip into liquidation within the next couple of weeks with a new company emerging , but 140 years of ย history , triumph and tears will have ended. No matter how Charles Green attempts to dress it up, a newco equals a new club. When the CVA was thrown out, Rangers , as we know them, died.”

He could be a witness for the defence, and the prosecution.

Of course, the latter statement came when he worked for a newspaper with a duty to report and intepret facts. The former came in his new job with the, er, new company.

The sort of guy you really wouldn’t want to be in court with.

Still on Newco FC, their chief scout has “left the club.”

After vowing to vigourously defend any accusations of wrong doing, Neil Murray has agrred to part company with the club.

“However, contrary to one malicious report, ” a statement -presumably written by James Traynor-said ” Neil is not departing because of any scandal. This club has nnever suggested nor said anything of the kind. In fact , Rangers are happy to point out that Neil has agreed to act as a consultant for the club.”

Aye, okay. Sometime next week they will have lost his phone number.

Again there were some great answers to yesterdays odd one out, including an imaginative one from Etims colleague Desi Mond. Hamish , however, got the one we were looking for, when he rightly pointed out that Celtic have never won promotion, despite winning the league they entered.

Today, pick the James Traynor amongst the credible reporters from this lot.

Inter Milan, Spartak Moscow, Valencia, Falkirk.


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Frank Henderson
11 years ago

Spartak Moscow-we beat them in a penalty shoot out.

11 years ago

Aye spartak moscow we beat them but have never beaten any of the others ina penalty shoot out!!

11 years ago

We have never played falkirk in a European tie.

Spartak have a ‘plastic’ pitch.

11 years ago

Falkirk. They are often used as the destination at the end of a sentence when Bobby Madden is the ref.
“Away to Falkirk yah…” or something like that.

11 years ago

Spartak Moscow…they’re the only one without a Drummer. They use Brass Monkeys for percussion

11 years ago

Falkirk….as its impossible to understand anything their fans say

11 years ago


Nice see-saw diary today. Celtic issues one end, thems on the other. I was convinced we were keeping things nice and balanced till you introduced a certain Traynor. One end simply went badoom then and we all fell down.

I am going for Spartak because of the shoot out. I have to say, though, Desi may have a point if I could only understand it. Is it a load of balls or are you just beating your own drum, Desi?


11 years ago

moscow – as they are the only club named after an epic movie

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