According to the EPL index, Brentford are preparing a bid for Nicolas Kuhn, because they are selling Bryan Mbeumo. No, I’ve never heard of him either, but he must be worth a bob or two. Everyone is in that league.
Which is why despite enormous earnings, nearly all of the clubs are in debt, and their only ambition is to remain on the gravy train.
We’ll see if Kuhn has similar ambitions if a bid should surface.
Meanwhile, over at the Daily Record, there’s this….
Greg Taylor cover broken amid Celtic transfer wait as Kvistgaarden emphatic amid £7.5m payday roadblock
I know what all those words mean, but fair play to the sub editor who managed to arrange them in a way that they make no sense whatsoever.
Still, these word puzzles are quite popular these days, so I’ll have a go and see if the text is better put together.
Mark Pirie, the hack, explains…
PAOK technical director Christos Karipidis has lifted the lid on talks with Greg Taylor.
What did he say ?
“We are simply awaiting the formal part.”
Well, that clears that up. Presumably, it means they’ve made an offer to the player and he said he’ll get back to them.
Pirie then goes on to talk about Matthias Kvistgaarten, who is leaving Brondby. Who it seems is on the Rodgers Radar
“I think I’m ready. I’ve made my mark at Brondby and in the Superliga, so I’m ready to take the next step.”
Well. That, er, clears that up then.
Luis Palma, remember him, has finished his loan spell at Olympiakos, and Pirie claims;
despite Olympiacos will not pick up the £3.5million option-to-buy in Luis Palma‘s loan El Heraldo report that the player’s representatives are looking for “a route out of Celtic” permanently this summer.
I think something is getting cleared up here, but it’s not the text itself.
Gustav Lagerbielke, who was on loan at Twente ? Pirie reports that someone else has said there’s a “good chance” he will return to Glasgow.
The Daily Record. It won’t be long before I can say my circulation is better than theirs. And I’m on blood thinning tablets.
As we pointed out earleir this week, the club have brought out some more tat to help us on the path to destitution….
We are thrilled to reveal the brand new Celtic FC x adidas Originals Samba trainers, available to buy in store and online today.
The white shoes feature green T-toes as well as the iconic serrated 3-Stripes, plus the club crest proudly displayed on the tongue.
Born on the pitch, the Samba is a timeless icon of street style. These shoes stay true to their legacy with a soft leather upper and suede overlays.
Is everyone just chucking words together and hoping they make sense, he said, completely lacking in self awareness?
The pictures aren’t much better…has no one told them you’re supposed to use them to kick a ball, and not your mate?
Available in a wide range of sizes from 3 through to 13 with a selection of half-sizes too, you can buy online now and in official Celtic stores.
Out of curiosity, I had to look….
adidas Celtic Originals 2025 Samba Shoes
This guy put his on, and now he’s hiding behind some old container trying to get them off….
The shoes are probably fine, but why release them on a day when the entire marketing department is on holiday ?
Couldn’t they have left a note to help whoever put this campaign together not to make an arse of it ?
Still , if you think our marketing department leaves something to be desired, like marketing people, for instance, it’s probably ahead of our friends over the river, who announced another manager yesterday.
Rangers Confirm Russell Martin As Head Coach
Confirm ? They really do have catholic owners now.
And as for his unveiling…
You’ll note the cloth draped over the table, which was purposely to hide his lack of staunch brown brogues.
Martin told the hordes…
“It is a privilege to be named Head Coach of Rangers Football Club at the beginning of this exciting new chapter.
“I know what this club demands. From my time here, I had a taste of how special this club is, the expectation, the passion and the history. Now, as I return, I’m determined to bring success back, for the supporters, the players, and everyone inside this club.
I’m here to set standards, work hard and do my very best to earn the respect of the Rangers fans.
“There’s a lot to be done, but the goal is clear: win matches, win trophies, and give Rangers fans a team that they can be proud of. We want to play with bravery, to take the ball, to be aggressive, and to stand up in the big moments.
Good luck with that squad of wet wipes.
“Preparations for pre-season are already underway. I look forward to meeting the players and building a squad that our fans can believe in.”
Rangers Chief Executive Officer, Patrick Stewart, who led the search along with Kevin Thelwell, commented: “Our criteria for our next coach were clear: we wanted a coach who will excel in terms of how we want to play, improve our culture, develop our squad, and ultimately win matches. Russell was the standout candidate.
One can only ponder in wonder at how bloody useless the others were. When we asked Mr Stewart he was reluctant to go into detail.
“This appointment is about building a winning team and a strong culture. He is no stranger to our club, we expect success and Russell knows that. We are excited for his leadership.”
Rangers Sporting Director, Kevin Thelwell added: “Through the many conversations Patrick and I have had with Russell in recent weeks, he has emerged as the outstanding candidate.
“Russell comes to Rangers with hard-earned experience. His time in the Premier League has sharpened his approach, both tactically and personally. He’s better for it, and we believe that will translate into the kind of leadership and performance our supporters expect.
His teams play dominant football, they control the ball, dictate the tempo and impose themselves physically. They press aggressively and work relentlessly off the ball. These are all characteristics that we believe are required to be successful at home, away, and abroad.
“We’re looking forward to getting to work with Russell immediately as we prepare for a demanding and important season ahead.”
Rangers Chairman, Andrew Cavenagh, continued: “I am delighted to welcome Russell to Rangers. This was a thorough, rigorous process and Russell impressed throughout. His appointment embodies the club’s goal of attracting top talent, empowering them, and supporting them.
“We believe that Russell can improve on-pitch performance while also helping build the culture and infrastructure necessary for consistent and long-term success.”
And in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, presumably.
Ach, we wish him well.
He’s signed a three season deal, which we hear covers summer, autumn and winter.
But let’s extend a warm welcome, and offer the hand of friendship.
It’s Friday, and that means we can award him not one, but two trophies, his first and his last.
Pictured here in the hands of multiple winner Keith Jackson of the Record, it’s the
Well done , Russell
Onwards and upwards.
We hear he woke up this morning, after a day on the beer, and said to his wife;
” I hope I didn’t do anything stupid yesterday “
Yesterday, we had this…
Sevco roll out their radical new player fitness machine, developed by scientific experts in the field of heidless chickens.
Today…
Caption
Alfredo Morales in shock return to Ibrox
Morelos jets in for talks on possible second term at the rangers.
Is that the Ibrox ‘Last Supper’ table Martin is sitting at?
I watched the A League GF last Saturday. Tillio was shite and he was hardly involved in the game. He was that bad, he’d make The Tav look like Maldini.
Arzani, on the other hand, was better, I thought he was Victory’s best player and showed a lot of dig. I still wouldn’t have either of them anywhere near CP.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Lennon or Brown took a punt on Arzani, but definitely not Tillio.
Can we just keep telling everyone that we were relegated now that we’ve removed the elephant from the room?
Mbeumo is a very good player.
Caption
“Mascot in place for the upcoming Club World Cup “
“Fan orders new Celtic Adidas trainers from Chinese website”
huns defender ‘propper-fat-bastart’ jets into the bigotdome
Player profile Data analytics has highlighted to the Chip-in consortium the importance of a top class watter skoosher in the team, as they unveil their first signing. Nele, was signed from the Bedknobs and Broomsticks academy for 5 coloured inkies and a roll of tracing paper, A fee the consortium hope to easily profit on, as, “XXXXXXXXXL jerseys are expected to fly off the shelves with the majority of our fanbase”, said a Chip-in wokesperson. “Much to the delight of our 7,968 chest, back, and sleeve sponsors”, he/she/it added.
Nele, via translator said, “I can’t wait to play in the HARUMPHHHH!!! (lost in translation),derby games, and demonstrate my skills balancing on the beach balls thrown onto the field by our rival fans.”
Ringmaster, Russell Martin, has been told to say he is delighted with the new addition to his troupe, and the half time tenner a pop rides on Nele’s back will further bolster the consortium’s pockets….. Of which he might see a chunk. .
C O a know ye won the cap comp yesterday but noo yoov took it to far heh heh COYBIG
Don’t tell me Nele isnae for signing Charlie?…..Was it personal terms?…Probably didnae fancy the currant buns
heh heh
New goalkeeper arriving at Ibrox, new manager trumpets his arrival….” settling in well but a fans stop chanting Dumbo…..it’s confusing the rest of the team”,.
Kasper’s main competition in the pre -season Bleep test arrives at Celtic Park
capt guy sais a hope this fookin things no been fed lately
‘What do you mean don’t look up, it’s gonna do what……. shit.’
Still think the highlight of yesterdays press conference was some unknown guy confrming that only some of the £20m woudl go on player recruitment.They must be hoping to see a few!
Anyway on fine form today Ralph about the sand shoes.
A fine and funny Diary, Ralph, the perplexity of modern day fitba headlines is beyond belief, ‘smitten’, craving’, ‘love affairs, ‘love-in’ …
Only last week the Wretched had Swally McMoist in some kind of love triangle with Big Ange with this timeless garbage
‘Ally McCoist destroys Ange sack rumours as Rangers hero rekindles love affair with Tottenham reality check.’
Now today the otherwise restrained and ever truthful pedo Beeb has Lennon Miller ‘craving’ Champions League football, preferably winning the Champions League, or the Europa League, or maybe even the Conference League, which is just amazing as I’m sure no footballer on Earth has ever thought of achieving such lofty heights in their career.
And that photo of poor Russell Martin looks like nothing else but him blessing his own sacrificial altar, which I’m sure was deliberate on the part of whatever Hun wag took it.
Caption: “I think we need a bigger rug!”
Caption: A joint campaign by Reform and The Daily Mail targets immigrants who have shat on Blue Peter.
There’s no way that Kuhn will be a direct replacement Mbeumo, who’s a far more powerful and direct player and has scored 20 goals in the alleged best league in the world.
He might be part replacement but they’ll also be looking to find a more obvious goal-scoring replacement. Mind you there likely to have plenty of the £60m+, even if they sign Kuhn, to do that.
Although he gets a lot of stick, I really like Kuhn and it would be a shame if he left as I consider him one of our best players to get us to a higher level in Europe.
Caption – Rangers go for broke; evoke the unWoke
And the gers celebrate the first signing of their new era with a quick fitness check,