Menu Close

Celtic Diary Monday July 15 2024: Doors Begin To Revolve

It looks like Kasper Schmeichel, the Danish international goalkeeper from the Euros, will be joining Celtic ahead of the trip to the USA.

 

Rodgers has worked with him before, and is perfectly aware of what he is capable of, and since he’s been working with Bain and Seigrist for a while now, and knows perfectly well what they are capable of, signing the big Dane becomes a bit of a no brainer,

 

There is still a need for another goalkeeper, and don’t be surprised if one turns up in America.

 

 

The move for Paolo Bernardo is still being discussed, as the finer details are being sorted out, whilst there is little movement on Adam Idah.

 

Both of which would be good additions to the squad, but cannot be seen as strengthening it.

 

South Korean striker Oh has left, joining Genk for either £2,5m or £4.5m , depending on who you believe, which might annoy Rocco Vata, as had he stayed he would have been back up to Kyogo Fuhruhashi, only by default, mind, and one would have thought he would have hung around and at least had a crack at it.

 

All of this movement is only the start of the comings and goings at Celtic, and although the exits were not unexpected, we do seem to be a little light here and there. Which I suppose is good when you consider the costs of flights to America, but not if you want to bond a team ahead of what promises to be a gruelling campaign.

 

Juventus are the latest side to show an interest in Matt O’Riley, but there is a feeling that some of the tales out there are simply not true..

 

After all, there’s just been a ,ajor international tournament, and most of the big clubs would have been focused on that. Celtic, for instance, have snapped up Kasper Schmeichel….

 

 

The Euros ended last night with Spain overcoming the mighty England by 2-1, which countered  the failed assassination attempt on former US president Donald Trump and prevented yesterday from being one of the darkest days in 21st Century history.

 

 

In what was one of the dullest tournaments in living memory, one of the dullest teams in living memory evoked our own memories of Wattenaccio, and made it to a final that they would fail to grace.

 

Fortunately, unlike that collie dog Lassie, football didn’t come home.

 

In fact, it’s failed to come home so frequently that I’m thinking of starting a go fund me page as there seems to be more chance that it’s got lost somewhere overseas.

 

 

Something else that has got lost is the plot. Phillipe Clement’s plot, that is.

 

 

He’s not quite gone full doo lally, in the way Perdo Caixinha did, but he’s certainly gone a bit Beale….

 

 

“If somebody comes with £30million or £40million you can replace him for that money. Every player falls into that category. We need money to replace him. If it is a good amount you can replace him and do something else. We will see.” 

 

He’s talking about Jack Butland, their goalkeeper who just a few months ago was touted by the Scottish media for England no.1, which he didn’t get.

 

In fact, the signing of Liam Kelly from Motherwell probably means he isn’t even going to be “rangers ” no.1 for long…

 

 

Clement has broken ranks and claimed there is no money for his rebuild, and that when he joined the club that isn’t what he was led to believe.

 

Graeme Murty is waiting by his phone, although curiously one of the ibrox custodians did mention the door was always open for Steven Gerrard….

 

 

It’s going to be an interesting couple of weeks, and despite the fears of our own support, and whilst trying to aim above the petty and insignificant rivalry with our 12 year old  neighbours, you do have to spare a thought for them, and thank our lucky stars we may not be seen as two cheeks of the same bottom for much longer…

 

 

Image

 

 

He goes on at length, though unfortunately now he has blocked all from reading it, even though it is a highly commendable assesment of the last few years.

 

More importantly, if it is indicative of how they are feeling as a group, then that lifeline of supporters money is about to be cut…

 

 

It might not be sunny out there, but it could still be a good summer.

 

 

On Friday, we had this….

 

 

Image

 

 

 

Paul Cochrane
 3 days ago

Caption
”This is humiliating! Don’t bring me to the game again?”
”is it the lack of access?l
”No…lack of success,” 

 

 

 

Today

 

 

Image

5 7 votes
Article Rating
26 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
2 months ago

The new product launch got off to a slow start – Birds eye kids fingers, only the best for the captains table!

Michael Annis
2 months ago

Right say gottle of geer

James61
2 months ago

Ffs daddy that’s ibrokes I want to go to parkhead

tony carlin
2 months ago

i wasnt there I was at Pizza Express and anyway I dont sweat

Kevin James
2 months ago

The captain of HMS SEVCO brings his granddaughter to see the big crane that’s appeared in Govan

Dziekanowski’s nightclub child
2 months ago

Caption: “Mr Clement, can you steer this sinking ship?”

Nickybhoy
2 months ago

Gareth is left holding the baby after ANOTHER European failure.

Owen Mullions
2 months ago

Caption

“Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater”
Hun fan:”Whit’s bathwater?”

Bognorbhoy
2 months ago

Awe feck no Bognor again da…

Vincent Kirk
2 months ago

The thread from the unhappy Rangers guy is this:
Thread by @BR080902 on Thread Reader App – Thread Reader App215 views

The state of our club – Massive Thread 

9 years worth of absolute fuckin disasters under the embarrassment that is the current Rangers board. Don’t believe me? Just read all of this. 

Dave King becomes Chairman in 2015, immediately appoints Stuart McCall to see out that train wreck of a season. Play Motherwell in the play-off final, get embarrassed 6-1 on aggregate and remain in the Championship 

King then gets rid of McCall and appoints Mark Warburton. We clear out plenty of dross, Warburton canters the Championship but then as he starts getting found out, he embarrassingly loses the Scottish Cup Final to Hibs. Hibs first SC win in 114 years btw 

Warburton then signs so much dross albeit on a shoestring budget, gets found out even more against fitter teams, goes to Parkhead and gets pumped 5-1 against the scum. The writing is on the wall and he “resigns” in February. 

Warburton 100% didn’t resign, Dave King sacked him yet the club for some reason just didn’t publicly admit that they sacked him after they caught him trying to work his ticket down to Nottingham Forest. 

The club wait a few weeks before Dave King actually allows Stewart Robertson and Graeme Park to make the most bizarre appointment in our clubs 152 year history, bringing in Pedro Caixinha. 

Caixinha immediately comes in, insults everyone’s intelligence claiming the absolute dross squad we had was the best in Scotland. He then loses 5-1 to Celtic at home, loses our 26 home record to Aberdeen and finishes 3rd. The tarriers win a treble. 

Mark Allen is made Director of Football, Pedro then gets rid of a lot of dross in the summer, actually gets money to bring in his own dross and of course who can ever forget the most embarrassing result we’ve ever had in Europe, losing to Progres Niederkorn. 

Pedro then argues with fans in the bushes, starts the season awfully, doesn’t win 3 games in a row, talks about dogs barking and caravans moving and eventually gets sacked after losing to Motherwell in a Cup semi and drawing with Killie. 

Around this time there was a survey by Club 1872 and the UB about safe standing at Ibrox. 82% voted in favour of safe standing at the stadium. 7 years later, still no safe standing. What a spit in the face that is 

The club then stalled on getting a manager, waited about 6 weeks then actually approached Aberdeen for Derek McInnes. McInnes turns the club down, a major blessing btw but what an embarrassment that is. 

The club then actually give Graeme Murty the job till the end of the season. Murty spits the dummy out when he finds out he’s not getting the job, loses 4-0 to Celtic and 5-0 a fortnight later to them. Murty gets sacked and Rangers finish 3rd again! Tarriers win a double treble 

King then appoints Steven Gerrard, recommend by Mark Allen. Gerrard clears out the dross like Pedro did. Gets us into the Europa League. Beats Celtic at New Year and has his level on points with them. 

What happens come January? The squad shit the bed post post winter break, dropping all sorts of points against utter dross even despite Celtic losing Rodgers. Rangers go trophyless again as the tarriers seal a third consecutive treble under The Lurgan Bigot 

We then go into the summer and sign so much dross like Hastie, Jones, Stewart, Ojo and Barker. Yet Gerrard actually again keeps us close to them and beats them are their own midden at New Year, putting us two points behind going into the break. 

Mark Allen leaves the club and we replace him with an even bigger disaster named Ross Wilson. 

What happens after the winter break again? Of course the usual suspects shit the bed, we lose to a pish Hearts side in the league and Scottish Cup, lose to fucking Hamilton Accies, gift wrapping the tarriers and The Lurgan Bigot a fourth straight treble. 

James Tavernier even said at this time in the matchday programme that Rangers can’t cope with being put under pressure. Imagine that being your captain. 

Then covid happens and no fans enter the ground. What happens? Of course we win the league without fan pressure. Yet we also blew the most gift wrapped treble we’ve ever had, going out of both cups to St Mirren and St Johnstone. 

We go into the summer needing to strengthen going into our 150th year and Champions League Qualifiers yet what do the board do? Sign Lundstram, Sakala and Bacuna. That’s it. 

We could’ve signed Joey Veerman but nope, the board focused more on the fucking Edmiston House instead of ensuring our squad was as strong as possible to retain our title and potentially get Champions League Footbal 

Because the board did this, we lost to fuckin Malmo at home, got dumped out the Champions League and ended up in the Europa League. 

Celtic were an absolute mess, needing to rebuild and appointed an unknown day Aussie as manager. The title was a gimme surely. Only this board could ensure that wasn’t the case. 

The Rangers board then charge £117 for a 3-match package for the Europa League, more than any other club in the competition. 

Gerrard leaves in November 2021. We replace him with Giovanni van Bronckhorst. Gio comes in, starts off well, gets results including getting us into the Europa League knockout rounds after Gerrard had us Conference bound. 

The board then gutlessly say nothing about Celtic pulling all sorts of strings to get the winter break moved so they could get a transfer window and injured players back cause they absolutely dead on their arse and running on empty. 

Then the winter break comes and what happens? Wilson panic loans Ramsey and Diallo to shut us up, signs dross in Sands. And what do the usual suspect losers do under pressure with crowds there? Shit the bed. A 9 point swing within weeks. 

However that swing is ignored by some because Gio was tactically incredible in Europe, giving us some of the best nights at Ibrox ever. That man papered cracks with that run and stalled pressure on the board 

In March 2022, the Rangers board actually organise a friendly with our biggest rivals on Australia. Yep, they actually organised that. A club who hate us and feelings mutual. A club who harboured a paedophile ring. That club. 

The board also do fuck all days later to commemorate the clubs 150th anniversary. There was only a massive display at the ground, funded and created by the UB. 

Gio gets us to the Europa League Final, we’re all buzzing, booking flights, hoping for access for Ibrox for the game, trying to get tickets, you name it. Yet what do the board do? 

Of course the board give tickets to their fucking pals and don’t allow fans access to the stadium, the only club out of the six European finalists that year to do that. Once again shafting the support. 

Rangers finish second, with the tarriers winning the title and a cup in their rebuild year. We also sadly lose the Europa League Final on penalties but days later, we win the Scottish Cup with that being our only trophy in the clubs 150th year. 

We then go into the summer needing a major rebuild yet what do the board and Wilson do? Keep players that should’ve been gone, sign utter dross and chuck Gio under the biggest bus possible. 

Yet Gio even despite that utter shambles from our board actually manages to get us into the Champions League, beating PSV away. Do the board back Gio after that? Do they fuck! 

The club then charge supporters £150 for the three match package, more than any other club in the entire competition, once again ripping off the fans. 

We then go to the piggery and get humiliated 4-0. Get humiliated in the Champions League, becoming statistically the worst team in group stage history. We also fall 9 points behind the scum, with another title gone. 

Then John Bennett actually dares to come out, saying the squad is the best it’s been in his time at Rangers and everyone operating at the club is “the best in class.” 

Before the winter break, we play against Aberdeen, Gio is under huge pressure and Michael Beale actually comes up to Scotland. Totally nothing dodgy about that right? 

Rangers then also end up in a lawsuit with Hummel, with the club being sued for 9.5 million quid in lost kit sales. Yet another disaster. 

Gio then gets sacked once the break comes around and he’s replaced by guess who? Michael Beale the board did Gio dirty and appointed that prick. A dud. A compulsive liar. An ego maniac. 

Beale comes in under zero pressure and we win games at the start under him but play awful in every single fuckin one of them. Then comes a game that matters. Celtic in the League Cup Final. Beale bottles it, of course he does. 

The club then actually dare to put James Tavernier, a captain who’s at the heart of constant failure in the Rangers Hall of Fame. Talk about wanting to vomit. 

Then after the final, we win games again, play dreadful until we play guess who? Celtic. Beale goes to Parkhead and loses again. 

Douglas Park, Ross Wilson and Stewart Robertson all leave the club, with “Mr. Best in Class John Bennett become Chairman and James Bisgrove becoming CEO. Another disaster in the waiting. 

Beale then hands us our first loss at Pittodrie for 7 years before rolling up at Hampden the following week, once again losing to Celtic, gift wrapping them their 5th treble in 7 years. Beale then beats Celtic but of course in a game with no stakes involved 

Beale lies through his teeth, claiming a lot of the squad will remain but then weeks later says it’ll be the biggest rebuild in years also throws Morelos under the bus, while Kent and Kamara get a lovely free pass 

The Rangers board then actually allow the PE teacher full control of transfers, allowing him to sign utter dross like Lammers and Cifuentes. So Gio can’t get any say yet a rookie manager can? Wow 

Rangers then lose on the opening day for the first time since 1998, get pumped out the Champions League off PSV, a team Gio beat the year before then loses at Ibrox days later to the most rank rotten Celtic side in some time. 

Rangers then continue to play awful, with Beale’s sacking inevitable before the final straw comes when we get embarrassed 3-1 at home off an Aberdeen side coached by Barry fuckin Robson. 

Beale gets sacked and we replace him with Phillipe Clement. Clement starts great, getting a bit of a tune out out a horrific squad, closes the gap on the scum and even wins the League Cup. 

We then go into the January transfer window needing a quality striker yet what do the board do? They give Clement Fabio fucking Silva, a guy who isn’t even a proper number 9. 

Clement however continues to have this utterly dross squad riddled with injuries overperforming until March when we lose 2-1 at home to Motherwell. 

After the Motherwell game, the usual suspect, loser, shitebags like Tavernier, Goldson, Lundstram and Barisic once again fold under pressure, drop all sorts of points and gift wrap an awful scum side the title. 

Then we get absolutely cheated in the Scottish Cup Final, with Sima’s goal wrongfully ruled and the board said fuck all like the cowards they are instead of calling it out. 

The Rangers board then fail to get stuff ready for the upgrade to the Copland Stand which now means we have to play the start of next season away from Ibrox, having to play at that fuckin shitehole Hampden. 

We’re now in the middle of July, 3 weeks to go until the season starts and we haven’t signed 1 player who improves our XI and so many losers still around like a bad smell, with Clement now being sold down a river like Gio. 

From top to bottom, this club is an absolute shambles. A board who’ve appointed numerous dud managers. A board who continue to shaft fans at every opportunity. A board at the helm as Celtic are now level on trophies with us. 

For as long as this board are in charge and as long as happy clappers defend them, all Rangers will win is the odd cup. Nothing else. We’re Aberdeen with a bigger stadium now. Fuck this board and fuck every single happy clapper who labels me a tarrier. 

Owen Mullions
2 months ago
Cartvale
2 months ago

Why do we have to dress up?
To welcome home Espana my dear.

SFTB
2 months ago

Are you the guy aff the Senior Service packets?

TicToc
2 months ago

Quite a Diary with a good mix of fact, fiction and fun.
First/only site I’ve looked at that seems against MOR leaving as I am. Just about every other Tim site seem more interested in money coming in. Do they not know it will stay “in” and we’ll have lost one of our very top players? How can you build a great team if you constantly sell your best players? It’s okay, I know, I know……..
I was glad to read somewhere about another ‘keeper possibly coming to CP, Sinisalo from Villa (Celtic 365 I think) and that, if KS signs, would be encouraging to say the least. It might even look like we’re serious about the fitba for a sea-change in the boardroom.
And the necessary laughs at the huns, the very disgruntled bear was a joy, not long enough as you said and “Mad Phil” on ‘accepting’ 30-40 mill for Butland, HaHaHa!
Just what is it with that hun place? Does it just attract moon-howlers or do they change in order to fit in. Who even cares?

Michael Tate
2 months ago

I’m wondering if anyone can help as I’m having terrible trouble getting the site to load.

Also once it does load it seems to be picking and choosing which comments I write get through to the page, seemingly at random.

Any advice?

Owen Mullions
2 months ago
Reply to  Michael Tate

Nobody knows why certain comments don’t get through. Sweary words, some slang but not all of them, you tube links – all have fallen foul of the filter at some point. It’s pure guesswork what gets through. Your comments will probably show up in a few days when the diary has moved on and no-one will read them. It’s frustrating but what can you do?

Michael Tate
2 months ago
Reply to  Owen Mullions

Hi and thanks, Owen, it is very frustrating but I’m quite sure I haven’t been swearing so can’t think what it might be but it’s good to know it’s not just me struggling with the site.
Can’t the owners do something about it?

Michael Tate
2 months ago
Reply to  Owen Mullions

Test

Michael Tate
2 months ago
Reply to  Owen Mullions

Thanks, Owen, but even my first reply to you hasn’t come up!
What on Earth can be causing it and can’t it be fixed?

Owen Mullions
2 months ago
Reply to  Michael Tate

It seems to be the filter they use to moderate the site automatically. Lots of people have complained about it but nothing ever gets done. I presume it’s because the filter is ‘built in’ to the platform and can’t be switched off or adapted. The guys occasionally dip into the bag of suspended comments and publish them manually so to speak but, as I said, by then we’ve all moved on. I’ve had a link of my own lost in cyber space today.

Michael Tate
2 months ago
Reply to  Owen Mullions

Okay, thanks again, there seems to be multiple issues but it’s a shame all the same.
I thought they can do what they like with these sites nowadays as it’s all the young ones seem to be doing.

Owen Mullions
2 months ago
Reply to  Michael Tate

Well I’m not young or a ‘techie’ by any means so I may be wrong about everything but it’s the only explanation I can think of. No ‘official’ explanation has ever been offered.

‘Human’ moderation of the site would appear to be the answer but I guess Ralph and Desi at Etims Towers have better things to do with their time than police the diary which is supposed to change every day but can sometimes last a week and run up hundreds of comments.

TicToc
2 months ago

Caption: Look, it’s behind you and it’s going to get you and your baby!
“Oh no it’s not!”
Oh yes it is!
“Oh no it’s not!”
BOOM! BOOM!

2 months ago

If Kasper the Friendly Goaltender signs then we’ve not reduced the quality in the keeer department and neither have we lowered the age profile.

South Korean striker Oh has left, joining Genk for either £2,5m or £4.5m , depending on who you believe, which might annoy Rocco Vata, as had he stayed he would have been back up to Kyogo Fuhruhashi

I’m pretty sure Rodgers promised that to Vata but ut wasn’t enough to want him to stick around.

The Euros ended last night with Spain overcoming the mighty England by 2-1, which countered the failed assassination attempt on former US president Donald Trump and prevented yesterday from being one of the darkest days in 21st Century history.

WhatsApp-Image-2024-07-14-at-17.45.27_11b85133
Gerry Q
2 months ago

Daddy, do I have to learn all the verses of The Sash for Armed Forces Day at Ibrox

SFATHENADIROFCHIFTINESS
2 months ago
Reply to  Gerry Q

OK Hen, you can just do the add-ons.
You know them already

Follow us on Twitter @ETimsNet

Discover more from eTims

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading