As ever, the world changes, and with it my own personal circumstances, which means that the diary can finally make a long awaited return.
What was once described by a national newspaper as “influential “, only once , right enough, and not by a newspaper anyone should take any notice of, is relaunched with it’s usual brand of optimism , humour and soaked in enough urine to drown an elephant.
Though there is a kind of groundhog day feel to it all as the close season rumbles on, and although the transfer window is open, perhaps it’s the current climate that means Celtic don’t seem to want to open it too far..
That’s the weather, by the way. Not the financial climate, which as far as Celtic is concerned is in rather a rude health, with the share price currently blazing a trail at the top of the hit parade ( He’s been back five minutes and so are the mixed metaphors..Ed )
The latest from London is….
Equity
Price (GBX)
192.50 -% (-)
CCPORD 1P
Track
Open / Last close
192.50 / 192.50
High / Low
– / –
Bid / Offer
185.00 / 200.00
Like many others when Fergus McCann allowed fans to become part owners, I made a cheeky investment and according to those figures my investment is now worth a total of £192.50, although until now I have declined any offers of a seat on the board.
To get an idea of what that means, and to put it into the context of Scottish football, we rang another club/company in Glasgow for a comparison, and they told us to stop taking the piss, and wondered if we knew anyone who knew how to remove asbestos.
For a while on our podcasts, in the business and commerce section, we’ve noted that the share price has been rising steadily, well..Monty Burns has, the rest of us don;t even pretend to understand it, and the conclusion was that we were being fattened up for sale.
With several English clubs already snapped up by international investors, and the returns being nowhere near expectations, those greedy eyes will be looking at how a club like ours can make so much money in the environment we’re in, and whilst we don’t profess to any degree of expertise in the matter, except Monty, who seems to know what he’s on about, the time does seem right for someone else to take the club to another level….financially, at least.
All of which has prompted quite a few supporters , and some of the less cheerful social media commentators, to ring the bells of doom, simply because Celtic haven’t followed their closest rivals, plucky, cash strapped “rangers “, into the transfer market.
Let’s be honest, our neighbours haven’t bought anyone we’ve ever heard of, or anyone with even a rrasonable track record in the game. All while several of their players have either left already or are touting foe a move via their agents in the Scottish media.
They should still offer a challenge next season, having retained the services of key men such as Beaton, Walsh and Dallas, and their youth policy has seen a couple of promising newcomers such as Robertson and MacLean, but that’s strictly on a pay as you play basis.
Whilst there is always the fear that Celtic’s somewhat conservative board will again aim purely for domestic dominance as it seems to be paying dividends, we can be fairly sure that the manager, Brendan Rodgers, would have started moaning by now if Celtic weren’t looking to increase the overall quality of the squad.
It’s important to clarify that Peter Lawwell does not make the decisions any more, except who sits next to who at board meetings.
Michael Nicholson is the CEO, and whilst there will always be suspicion surrounding Lawwell, it’s worth noting that he hasn’t actually said or done anything of note for quite some time now. Anything levelled at him is purely speculation…( will this do, Pete ? ) so any criticism is as unfair as it is inaccurate.
Nicholson has sanctioned changes in the scouting department, and other behind the scenes are indicative that he is in control, but again that prompts the question, why the transfer inactivity ?
The obvious priorities have to be the acquisition of quality players in certain key positions, the main one being a goalkeeper.
Scott Bain played against Ayr United on Friday, and he is competent enough to a degree, but still seems to struggle when faced with a shot, a header or a cross. Benjamin Seigrist had his contract torn up a few weeks ago, and was allowed to leave, and Pat Bonner is at the BBC, so you would have thought a goalkeeper would have been done and dusted by now.
Several have been linked in the media, and quite a few answered a “Can You Catch a Ball ? ” ad on a jobs website, and most of them attended an open day at Celtic Park….
but the extensive search failed to throw up any answers.
With Rodgers not appearing to unconcerned after the Ayr game, one suspects that things are at an advanced stage, and as the club are notorious for playing their cards close to their chest, I’d tend to suggest that the new keeper either still is, or has been involved at the European Championships in Germany.
And no, it’s not that bloke who kept flinging them into Scotland’s net.
Please, no.
The other ongoing story seems to be the desire to sign Adam Idah, who saw the ball bounce off his leg in the dying moments of the Scottish cup final to secure the double for Celtic.
Unusually for Celtic, there was no fixed fee on an option to buy after his loan was up, and Norwich have raised the stakes a little bit after the irishman’s exploits in Glasgow, which weren’t spectacular but were enough to show potential, want a little more than Celtic were expecting to pay.
He’s certainly decent back up, and if Rodgers can convince him to look up every now and then when he has the ball, then he’s worth a little bit more than the £4m Celtic are reported to have offered.
If Paolo Bernado can be added on a permanent basis, then Celtic will have spent in excess of ten million pounds without adding a new face, something which must be taken into account when we start moaning about a biscuit tin mentality, and that’s before we add a keeper and at least one defender…..all of which are needed if the club is to make an impact on the new look Champions League, or at least make most of the games a bit more than an international club friendly.
With talk that Jota, the talismanic Portuguese winger, is open to a loan move back to Celtic, that would take some of the heat of the board should it materialise, but he’s stalling as Nicholson keeps asking to borrow his debit card, but to be fair, this would be a quick and easy PR triumph for the club should he return.
Others mentioned when it comes to returns are Keiran Tierney, though Arsenal must be regretting throwing away the receipt from the initial sale as let’s face it, they bought a crock and he hasn’t got any fitter, as his cameo in Germany showed.
Maybe sooner or later fans will work out why he left Celtic in the first place…..and why the hoops have turned him down already for a return.
As for Fraser Forster….the two initial f’s in his name could be used in the second word of his chances of coming back….as well as in the first word.
Edouard ? Dembele ? No, thanks. No point.
There will be a few exits from Celtic, as per every summer, and possibly even a key player or two. The obvious target of other clubs affections will be Matt O’Riley, who has continued his development under Rodgers, with numerous clubs cited as interested.
One would think he has his sights set a wee bit higher than Southampton….. if, indeed, he is open to a move.
Of which there is little evidence.
The Japanese bhoys ?
As with Nakamura before them, loyalty and honour are a big part of their culture, and all three seem happy enough, though to get the best out of all three we do seem to need all three playing regularly.
There’s one or two problems with the shape and formations used by Rodgers, mainly in that he doesn’t seem to have one, but that’s probably more down to the injuries sustained by key players since he came back, but given that his tenure at any club is marked by a plethora of injuries, you’d think he would know how to deal with it by now.
As ever, we will have ti wait and see how the summer continues, and of course, i use the summer in the loosest possible meaning of the word, but there is no reason to suspect we won’t start next season stronger than we finished the last one. ( How about this , Pete ?)
Elsewhere, and we can expect the media to ignore the ongoing crisis at Ibrox, as the very infrastucture begins to collapse.
They aren’t allowed to play their first few games…at least…at Ibrox as apparently their shipment of steel has been delayed, and there is no truth in the rumour they went to another local supplier who told them where to get off when they asked for time to pay .
The structural fault has been blamed on a lot of issues, but the truth is the players sent a petition to the board asking for the stands to be rebuilt facing the opposite direction, as it was felt the supporters were putting the players off. It’s true their sole league triumph took place with no fans present, so it’s not surprising they would like to recreate that scenario, but of course they need the money so a compromise had to be found. It’s just that the stuff couldn’t be delivered on time. Seems the delivery guys couldn’t find Ibrox, but then again they probably weren’t looking in the seventeenth century.
The race is on to get the job done, and we asked an expert if he could help…..
No matter how bad we think things are on our side of the river, we can take comfort in the fact that they will never be as bad as they were, are and will be over on the other side.
If you don’t count unimaginative new away tops….
But before we go, let’s have a caption competition…..
Pish
Oh Dear
Well no one can ever accuse Monti of being verbose!
Now that’s uncalled for now. The man has obviously been busy and a little gratitude at least should never be too much to ask.
Caption: Taig road left, Arctic circle right
National service dodgers wearing their kid on uniforms in a race back to the 17th century
great to see you back, you’ve been sorely missed
Holy shit. An eTims diary in July 2024. I looked out my window and am throughly confused by the lack of flying pigs.
Welcome back!
Welcome back. You’ve been missed.
That Lambeg in the photie has seen better days – a fitting metaphor for Ibrox.
You take the high road and I’ll take the Taig road and I’ll be a grandad of Celtic fans before you …
Winner.
Welcome back, e’tims own raving, sorry roving reporter of all things Celtic and ‘thum’, (for context only of course. Well the banter helps).
Caption…
In the interest of ecumenicallism and social integration, Sinn Fein, the majority Wastemonster Party representing Norn Arne has reached a deal with the O.O. guaranteeing every feenyun enclave the legal right to witness and laugh at the deludemol doped, faux militia dressed notoriously out of tune, out of date and out of road knuckldraggers.
The throwing of ‘pish and shoite’ while discouraged is entirely optional.
Welcome home Ralphy. Any sign of your mucker Rui Milla?
Welcome back Ralph you have been much missed. The diary as ever grounded and full of common sense. One of the seriously annoying things in Celtic media this past few months has been the nonsensical suggestion oif players who ‘might’ sign. Almost none of them grounded in anything other than the pundits guess list. I wish I had kept a list of the names and the dafties who punted them, from Kasper Schmeichel to David de Ghea. These people insult Celtic supporters with their nonsense. At last the Diary has returned, we can read opinions and views without feeling we are having thevpiss taken.
The only Taig to be anywhere near that mob
Everything is rosie new goal keeper and sign last seasons loans ,sorted.
Ange would have improved the team more.Brendan doing what Brendan does vieled digs at the boards snail pace regards recruitment .I am the only one pissed off with them creaming there Y fronts on getting a whopping fee for O’Reilly when Brendan is screaming out for quality.
Brilliant to see the diary back Ralph. Hope all’s well. Saw the friendly at Somerset the other night which, though anything but exciting, did provide us with a glimpse of how much Big Bosun has come on while the most enjoyable moment for me was that amazing relflex save from young Northern Irish goalie Josh Clarke. He might be one to watch as well.
Great to see ETims back
Caption: When you’re on the road to hell and God shows you what you could have won.
Great to see you back!!
Band member says to the rest; Apparently, this is the way to enlightenment.
Not a new player signed yet we are to be releasing a third kit? I mean talk about not being in tune with your support ( customer Base).
Tell you what Celtic, you starting showing off new signings that will really strengthen the team then I’ll purchase merchandise, until then fk off!
Nice to hear from you again Ralph.
Caption:Peter Lawwell -the unseen hand-banging the drum, on the need for Celtic to be ‘careful with money’ this summer.
Elections: Hearing the ibrox work shy hiding in the shipyards non workers party, has lost a major amount of seats…..in the Copeland
Welcome back. Jaysus your not an ex-Tory MP with suddenly lots of time on your hands? Of course not,you’d be on the Board.
Caption: We’re Genuinely Fecking Broke drummer wears his heart on his sleeve.
Caption
Next stop Ian paisley road chaps
Caption
Even the Ludge celebrate the long awaited return of the Diary.
Football is a simple game made complicated by people who just want the gold medal instead of the joy of the game itself.
Ive been watching these Euros and apart from the Attacking Ataturks Ive been forced to conclude that modern football is utter rubbish, everybody’s to scared to lose and all the teams are cancelling each other out through that fear.
You’d be better watching Inspector Morse for excitement.
Welcome back Ralph and the diary!
Football is a simple game ruined by fear and too many tactics.
If you want to win just go for goal.
As I say, it’s very simple but these Euros have been a nightmare.
Great to see the ETims back, I thought it was all over fir good already, though I seem to be having some trouble getting my comments through.
I don’t usually post but this year has just been terrible, as my wife has arthritis and I suffer from terrible piles.
My grandkids are lovely and I wouldn’t swap them for the world but since I inadvertently left my haemorrhoid cream in the fridge when they were visiting, and was once known to frequent Star Trek conventions across America when I was able, they’ve now taken to singing ‘Hello Pappy! Hello Spock! Sh sh sh sh sh sh sh Sheriproct! to me, to the tune of The Runaways, I think, Cherry Bomb.
Life is but a laugh when you’re young but it’s not so funny when you’re running to the toilet powered by winds that could save Holland and a parping arse that would make Satchmo proud.
I’ve a friend from Norwich and he always used to go on about the strong wind but I would always laugh up my sleeve, secretly thinking ‘Haha! You should try Scotland!’ until one day I said it to his face and he stormed off in a huff and has never contacted me again.
Writes for The Guardian too.