Nothing Ever Happens – A Tribute Song

A new take on a classic Del Amitri song…

“Nothing Ever Happens” by Desimond

Hungarians striker runs through, to easily score
As Celtic new keeper lies beaten upon the wet floor
John Kennedy stares into space
While Lennys sad face turns to stone
As El Hamed toe pokes the ball back to the ref
While Broony thinks “I’ve seen this show!”

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow

Peter and Neil, please you know, that we deserve so much more
Bargain bin strikers, unfit, with no chance to score
By 10 o’clock, Euro dreams dead
And every fans crying “Fuck that!”
As reporters lap up, Lennys interview huff
Like the doped white mice in the college lab

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the Celtic song
And we all shrug along like before

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow

Agents call players to say “I’ll Get you out of there!”
From Heroes to Zeroes, as fans claim that they “wouldn’t care”
Disco Lights flash, in a stadium so vast
Crying out a sad, S – O – S
And the fans gather close, cold and morose
Another time of Celtic distress

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the Celtic song
And we all shrug along like before

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow

Clean Tactics boards, stand with no plans, that players can read
While the squad mope around and complain about
All the Lennoxtown chips soaked in grease
The Board report another sweet deal, tell us, we’ve never had it so good
While Centre Halves wait to conclude a pishy loan deal
Having to haggle, like they never should

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the Celtic song
And we all shrug along like before

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
They’ll get a Man City loan at Transfer windows close
And we’ll all shrug along like before

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow