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The Futures Bright, The Future isn’t Orange

Monty Burns returns to give his thoughts on whats going on….

It’s been a while since I penned an article for the site. A combination of life, love and the universe – and a recently lifted super-injuction from our pish stained mole in the Heilan – have meant that it simply wasn’t something I had time for. To be fair it’s also been incredibly amusing watching the past 8 or so months unfold online. There probably wasn’t anything I could have added anyway, every conceivable angle was covered – or a “no hole’s barred” Debbie Does Dallas moment for the more vintage reader if you’ll excuse the expression. Ahem. Parody and scripting couldn’t even come into it such has been the quite mind-blowing levels of mirth. From Craig Whyte to Charlie Green and everything in between – truly nothing will ever surpass the comedy that unfolded and continues to do so. The only conclusion I can draw is that something truly remarkable is happening in front of our eyes. A heavenly conspiracy. All signals pointed towards it but no-one dared dream it. However it’s here, it’s real and it deserves a mention of its’ own above and beyond the parody that is/was Sevco. We’re witnessing the death of triumphalism, imperialism, supremacy, fascism and bigotry – all wrapped up under the umbrella of “British Loyalism”. That Rangers FC (1872-2012) was the first domino to fall in this stack is irrelevant in the bigger picture. That Celtic FC appear to be at our strongest in years, at the same time is, well, it’s payback, Karma or the work of the Unseen Fenian Hand. Either way it’s funny as fcuk…

This all needs set in context.

2012 is apparently the year of Armageddon (© Neil Doncaster). It’s also apparently the year of the Mayan Apocalypse. It’s the year when Felix Baumgartner gave our generation a true “Moon Landing” moment. It’s the year when the tabloid gutter scumbags in News of The World were finally found out and killed off. The year of online bloggers planting the charges that will destroy the Mainstream Media and setting off the first few creating a domino effect that will reverberate for decades. The year of – “sir(s), I doff my cap” ;-). The year when Celtic Football Club had a happy 125th Birthday party by beating the best team in European Football – and many argue the best ever in a European context. We witnessed arguably the greatest player ever to play the game grace Celtic Park and leave Glasgow with nothing but utter praise and true sporting respect having been defeated. The year when Neil Lennon clinched his first Championship as manager of Celtic. And 2012 is the year when Westminster acceded to Alba’s demand for a referendum on her future and wish to go it alone. And agreed to hold it on the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn and allow 16 year old Scots the right to participate. Unreal. How very rebellious.

But there was much much more.

Europe saw Celtic amass the highest points total of any Scottish club ever in the Champions League and progress to the last 16 of the Champions League. Back among Europe’s elite with a young, hungry team with no fear. And £30M in the bank off the back of that too. For anyone interested Sevco ply their trade in a gerrymandered 3rd Division, got papped out of the Harry Ramsden Cup and still await proper punishment for their cheating and breaking football rules. How very unsporting.

2012 represents the beginning of an expected period of SPL dominance; one which is hopefully set to continue into the foreseeable future. But 2012 also reveals that a strong Celtic may not be to the detriment nor denigration of the competition. Many now are a lot less fearful of treading on our toes – personally I think it’s great to watch. Hibs, Dundee United, St Johnstone, ICT, Kilmarnock – all have breached the wall and taken points back off Celtic. There’s a real sense of competition and excitement in Scottish Football and we’re having it put to us. Arbroath was one of the more difficult games this season. But we still sit top of the SPL, remain in all competitions we entered this year, and hopefully can remain there and consolidate and increase our lead in the SPL and progress in Europe and the cups. But we take nothing for granted. How very competitive and exciting.

2012 was the year that Belfast City Council actually put democracy to the test in the north of Ireland by voting to fly the British flag on “designated days only” (the original proposal was for parity of esteem between the Irish flag and British flag to fly equally but Unionism isn’t ready for that yet). The result of that was what produced one of the funniest viral clips Youtube has seen in a while – here ye go – – a wee Christmas gift from Norn Iron Loyalism – as the “Flegs Protest” demonstrated the true perception of how equality and democracy works from Sevco gear clad rioters and paramilitaries. How very “un-British”.

Back to 2012 and matters more enjoyable, Celtic now has an average age of first team player in the early 20’s. Victor Wanyama, Gary Hooper, Fraser Forster and James Forrest are extremely valuable assets with stock rising all year. Tony Watt, Dylan McGeouch, Filip Twardik are all making the breakthrough and look set to have stellar careers if they can continue to develop. Tony Watt will remember 2012 for the rest of his life one suspects. How very sound a business model, wotwot.

Broony. Just Broony. How very Broony.

And there’s so much more.

Sinn Fein’s rise in Ireland north and south is now an unstoppable force. Momentum gathers off the back of Scotland’s brave and bold strike for her future and the course of her destiny. How very conspirational.

The world is becoming a smaller place all the time, people are more educated, clued in, connected, aware and less susceptible to what the 20th Century created as a methadone substitute for life with control and Orwellian terror. How very subversive.

It’s not all sunshine though. Many difficulties remain. Simon Cowell must be tried at the Hague and found guilty of crimes against Humanity. The X-Factor must be erased from history for the betterment of man. Jim Jeffries is still in football and the Spice Girls have reformed. But these are battles of a greater theatre than where we play in the world of Scottish Football and an existence on these Celtic Islands.

But 2012 is nearly done. The greatest gift you can give a Sevconian in what remains of this year – the one’s who genuinely are football men – is to offer to take them to Celtic Park for some top level football entertainment. Bring them to the Park sometime over Christmas. Hell it’s even free. They may even enjoy it. They may even convert. They’ll more than likely tell you to GTF but as football men they’ll laugh. It’s a sporting rivalry, not a distinction of character. That it is so blurred and interwoven into the fabric of life in Scotland is an accident of progression, not design as the more rabid supremacists among them believe.

And as for those from among the Sevconian throng who, in 2012, cling to the last vestiges of supremacy, bigotry and intolerance there can be no sympathy for the devil. They should rot. Disappear. Crawl back to the rocks from whence they came. An enlightened future in Scotland has no need nor purpose for them. They’re welcome in the new Scottish Football dispensation but their bile isn’t.

See, I think it all this comes down to definition. How you define yourself and who you are and what makes you essentially forges your path. Tolerance, respect, openness, love, pride, emotional intelligence, empathy – it all comes from within the essence of your soul. It’s either there or it’s not. I define myself as this – in order. First and foremost I’m a Celt – the Celtic race of people are community, a clan, inspired in culture, music, art, poetry, soul, history, friendship, kinship. I’m an Irishman. I’m an Ulsterman – and a proud one at that. And I’m an Irish Republican with a desire to see Ireland united in the ways of Tone, Emmet, Pearse and all those brave Protestant Men of ’98. And the thing is in all of the above definitions anyone who previously aligned with the concept of British Loyalism should neither feel threatened, offended, excluded, denigrated, oppressed – in fact it’s quite the opposite. They’re should feel very welcome by it all. Where they to be educated on the goals and ambitions of the United Irishmen – let alone their background – they’d probably realise they’ve more in common with you and I than Westminster. We’re all fellow Celts after all.

But 2012 and onwards – here’s a prediction to a Scottish first in February 2013. Celtic will be the first Scottish team to make the last 8 of the new format of the Champions League.
After that who knows…

“Wembley, Wembley – We’re the famous Glasgow Celtic and we’re off to Wembley”

Nollaig Shona Daoibh.

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11 years ago

A Mhontaí,
fáilte ar ais agus Nollaig shona duit freisin.
Welcome back Monty, the future truly is green and white!

11 years ago

aye but wait it could be a wee dampener the day coz ma mate just rang and said that hes giro just hit the carpet hes off tae give it tae charlie green………… what if its giro day for the rest ae them ? yikes !!!!!

11 years ago

Bang on!


‘Mon the heathen / pagan / atheist / non_denom / other non-RC tims! 🙂

Oh, and welcome back…. 🙂

11 years ago

Twas truly a momentous year right enough; you would have hoped Billy might have been reborn and reshaped into an institution bereft of all their baggage! But no they cling to their inglorious past like a leech on a fetid boil..

All the best in 2013 to you and yours.

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