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Celtic Diary Saturday November 3

To emphasize what a wonderful club Celtic are, and to promote further goodwill between Celtic and Barcelona, may we at Etims be among the first, and most genuine well wishers when we say congratulations, and good health to Lionel Messi, who became a father last night when his dear lady gave birth to Thiago, a welcome and hopefully loud addition to the family, who will keep his dad well and truly  disinterested in the upcoming Champions League game in Glasgow.

Naming the boy Thiago has prompted all sorts of rumours, as it is coincidentally the name of a fellow player at the club, but apparently they have morals over there, unlike a club in London where there were an awful lot of little boys born with the forenames Terry, and John, presumably something to do with a seventies sitcom starring Terry Scott and June Whitfield.

Anyway, heres hoping that proud daddy Lionel throws a big party for his pals on Monday, the police are called, and Barcelona thus write off the game in Glasgow and determine instead to win their last two games.

And theres me breaking Neil Lennons orders to concentrate on one game at a time.

Celtic visit the city of discovery tomorrow on league business, and to anyone in that fair and lovely place  reading this, they may not have fully understood the concept in the opening paragraph, where a father actually hangs around long enough to see a baby produced.

Celtic have decided to ask if Scott Brown could be left out of the Scotland squad for the friendly against Luxembourg on November 14. This game, one which Craig Levein is optimistic that his team could even sqeak a draw, is not deemed as important as other friendlies the nation are due to play, as they try to get a team together to chase that elusive three points before mankind discovers a cure for aging, learns how to travel at the speed of light, and sees the Scottish press accuse Rangers of cheating. (Ok, the first two are theoretically possible, but the latter I threw in to show just how difficult its going to be.)

Lennon said

“Ideally I would like him to be left out of that because we have a heavy schedule of games. Scott has proved beyond doubt that he is good enough to play for Scotland, he is playing the best football of his career this season. He did come back from the Scotland trip not in the best condition but we half expected that and there is no blame apportioned. But I think if there is an opportunity for him to have a break then we will be asking for that.”

Hmmm-we heard he got drunk in the hotel too.

The manager also admitted he was sick of hearing tales about Victor Wanyama moving in January.

“I have had a brief chat with Victor and we are both comfortable with it. Its a regurgitated story and theres no foundation to it whatsoever” said the boss, to a background squeal of anguish from the clubs bank manager.

“It is just nonsense. I’m sure speculation will be going on between now and January and between January and June. But he has three years to run on his contract and he won’t be going anywhere unless we want him to go.”

Then he had to go, as he had an urgent phone call from some old drunk in Manchester.

Meanwhile, former Celt and jolly fine chap Paul Hartley has had a shave and will line his team up against Scotlands newest club this weekend. Alloa Athletic, the first name on many peoples coupons when Aberdeen have an away game, will attempt to help Ally McCoist and his third division pacesetters keep their enviable record of being out of all cup competitions before the fireworks go off.

Hartley, like he did as a player, is relishing the challenge, and thinks his team have got what it takes, which explains his refusal to borrow a few Celtic fringe players for the weekend, despite an offer from the only Premier side in Glasgow. Even though a number of these players are still camped in his street hoping he’ll change his mind.

Rangers boss McCoist-this of course may change by the time you read this-siad of his charges, “Possibly , in the last week or so, there has been a more realistic approach to where the team is at the moment.”

Oh, he’s noticed then. That’ll help.

He also said, in direct contrast to him realising where the team is at the moment, that this Rangers team is under as much pressure as on any “Rangers team in recent history” . Now considering his club doesn’t actually have much of a history, thats some statement.

Actually, we have a brief history of the club outlined below.

The Rangers FC

Formed 2012.

Titles -0

Cups -0

European record -None

Away wins (League) -1

Away wins (Cup)- 1

Friends – 0

Tax bills paid -0

Idiots with their head in the sand following the club- Loads

Idiots trying to sell the club -1

Chance of surviving till Christmas -Limited

Chance of surviving after Christmas-Nil.

Died -2012-well, 2013 at the very latest.

Yesterdays teaser did indeed refer to the revelations of homosexuality at the club,well done to Andy who described it perfectly- published in the Sunday Sport way back when, and it was brought up again to highlight the damage irresposible reportage can do. After all, theres no point in concentrating on a real story when you can just print sensationalist shite to sell papers. A lesson that has, of course , been taken on board by the current lot of fictional authors pretending to be the guardians of truth, democracy and freedom.

The quiz is going to try to have a question which ties in with the previous one, which should allow us to meander pleasantly through some memories of our club.

The Sunday Sport at least kind of had no pretences that it was full of shite. But which Journalist of the Year raised eyebrows and set the bar for Scottish journalism when he won journalist of the year with such scoops as “wealth off the radar” and well, to be honest, he never quite reached those dizzy heights again.

Oh, and sorry about the pic at the top of the page. I got all confused when someone mentioned a scandal about the abuse of minors in the in the eighties.







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brian glover
11 years ago

Keech Jackson…Daily Ranger.

Barga bhoy
11 years ago

Jangle Jangle twatson.

Barga bhoy
11 years ago
Reply to  Barga bhoy


Tony P
11 years ago

Jingle Jangle

Steve M
11 years ago

Have you seen the Ian Black aeticle in Saturday’s Herald ( ? It ends with ticket prices and box office contact information for the next Sevco game – is this a service the Herald offers to all Division 3 teams ? Maybe they’re finally showing their true colours.

Steve M
11 years ago
Reply to  Steve M

Cancel that ! I see the Herald has now removed the match ticet pricing and contact details for the Sevco box office !

11 years ago

Just caught the “sport” headline in the Daily Jester squealing about refs cheating Rangers in the 3rd tier, and permitting amateur soccer players to bully and harass them in a most caddish fashion. Surely it can’t be true? Are the ten Rangers’ top whistlers not allowed to follow follow on wherever their new shadow team plays? Does it also mean that some of the officials in the lower leagues don’t get season tickets to Ibrox stadium now that the real Rangers is no longer in existence? Perhaps they even have officials down among the small towns with names like Callaghan, or Kettle!!
No wonder the spectral posers in blue are not doing too well nowadays. It was the same in Europe, when the original Ulster icons were never allowed to take their own refs with them. That constituted a grave (forgive implication)disadvantage; an outrageous liberty in the opinion of many of my paranoiac friends from lovely Govan sur mere.

the lurgan tiger
11 years ago

Wasnt it Guidi that spouted the wealth of the radar keech?

Its hard to tell the difference between them. Perhaps a dna test should be the order of the day. They may share a parentage

11 years ago

Back to your glorious best, Ralph. I must regale you about the picture though. Turnip made me puke when I was a kid but to be honest, I could devour an acre field of them uncooked before they upset me the way that face does. I am limited in my I.T. ability, as I probably am in many other areas too, so I have no idea whether there is a method to do what I am about to ask. Can I blot out the fiend from your blog? I have run out of buckets already. Not that I am in any way biased – grrrrrrr!!! O to be a doberman! Naw, I would probably end up poisoned if I took a bite from that body.
Anyway, your piece has kept me smiling. I look forward to wee Paul taking it easy against the mighty…..the mighty….eh, the mighty…………..O yea, them with all that history you listed.
I go for Jackson for the quiz. I have some pity for him, mind, as his father, Michael, dropped him on his head from an hotel window when he was a baby. Besides, it’s not all down to him as he was the son of and spent a great deal of time with a couple of two faced……..(on a dot-ride this afternoon). If I am wrong, I will eat a raw D.R. As I am sick already with that damned photo, it probably wont have any adverse affects.


Lenny Bruce
11 years ago

Union Jackson gave us wealth off the radar.

We are grateful to him for this. It’s this generations succulent lamb.

Barga bhoy
11 years ago

Although I have read many Celtic websites & blogs (this one in particilar)This is the first time I’ve ever signed onto any of them. I will continue to read & occasionally offer my own thoughts, but -and this is primerally why I joined is to ask, no plead with you Ralph, please,please,& as James brown would say pleeaassee remove that utterly offensive image on yesterdays diary. Ps if it was a ruse to attract people, well done- but please enough. Thanks in advance.

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