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EXCLUSIVE: Barry Ferguson Resignation Letter

Dear Clide,

Ah resine. Yir shite. Rainjurs ur shite tae but thur ma shite an at no.

Ahm away tae wurk wi Bummer an Coisty an Durranty an Boab Malcum an big DJ an Sir David an Walter an Jimmy the mad mental kitman an Kenny fae the Radio Scotlin tranny stayshin thing.

An how did naebdy lit oan yeed moved fae Shawfield? Cnuts.

Fcuken parked ma moatir there fur munths an at. Awe ah seen wiz fcuken dugs runnin aboot. Basturts woodnae lissen tae a wurd ah said.

Fcuken barkin an shiteing an shaggin an at. Clatty basturts. Fucken kept burstin the baws when ah tossed the baw up for a heider.

Heider the baw ya useless basturts don’t eat it furfuxsake. Cost me Fcuken hunners ah dosh bringing new baws tae trainin an at. Dug basturts.

Anywiy ah hope yeez git pumped an git relagayteed tae thi champions ship wi Hibs.

Fcuken hate Hibs tae. Basturts.

WATP Bazza

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5 years ago


Stevie D
5 years ago

Whit a bam!

John hughes
5 years ago

So there ah wis, sitting in ma trap,waiting for the hare tae go whizzing past when this daft rocket opens the gate an’tries tae get me tae chase a baw .
Glaiket looking guy he wis, wearing a royal blue kappa trackie wae BF oan it. Well ah tried tae explain ah wis a pacy greyhound dug and no a pacy winger but aw that came oot was a big woof woof.
So ah burst the knobs baw and did a long,skittery jobbie oan the guys pitch.
Ah could see he wis ragin cos his dial was aw red and his fingers were on his coupon giein me the vicky.
” That’s it ” he shouted ” you daft dugs ur gonnae get me relemegated. Ahm chucking it ”
Now ahm used tae trainers feeding me pies or tying elastic bands roond ma haw maws before a race but this imbecile was taking the pish.

Yours faithfully
Trap 1 shawfield

5 years ago
Reply to  John hughes

good jobby i’d just been to the cludgy b4 reading this… masterpiecr..pmsl!!

Leรตes de Lisboa
5 years ago

Quality banter, Hector. Is it true Bazza’s looking to get his foot on the first rung of the gardening ladder ?

5 years ago


Interview ” Ma name is Barry Fergisin an a want tae apply for the ” ranjurs ” managers job.
ahv goat a pair of brown brogues n a cardigan, no wat a mean?
I know what this club meant to a loat o ppeeepeel, no wat a mean?
What’s happening just now is pure no right man, no wat a mean?
Fuck payin the bills n that just spend any money oan playirs to stoap ra Cellic, no wat a mean?

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

As Frankie Howerd would say “Oohh no missus,don’t mock the afflicted” but then again it is Barry “Bothwell Bridge” we’re talking about!

5 years ago
Reply to  Rob O'Keeffe

No wat a mean man ๐Ÿ™‚

Rob O'Keeffe
5 years ago

Monti mah mann,Gonnae know dae thaat? Aye ok,take ra PISH rite oot umm!

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