El cormaco somehow got his hands on the text for Mark Warburton’s christmas message to the supporters of the Ibrox club…
Hello to all the Rangers family – brothers, sisters, husbands, wives; sometimes both.
Firstly thank you for your unstinting support this season – you are simply the best, always backing the team except when we aren’t winning and we will always remember your colours and songs – some of which aren’t prohibited. Hearing you sing about being up to your knees in Fenian blood or hating Catholics really gets guys like Rob Keirnan and Michael O Halloran fired up to perform for you.
When we came back to where we belong this season we stated clearly we were going for 55. With so many points already on the board I m confident this ambitious goal will be reached. If we continue as we have been we will achieve our goal of playing European football next season, as long as the SFA ignore our four years of eye watering losses, which we are confident they will, as they always did before
We are of course returning to Europe in the new year, with our glamour friendly against Red Bull Leipzig – I m not sure what gave the guys in the
boardroom the idea of speaking to a new club with no history of its own, unpopular among supporters of all other teams in their league, spending money they don’t generate themselves and backed by murky characters who allow them to operate at a level above where they can afford to be, but we’re Ready to go!
Since our return to where we belong (do I have to keep saying this James?) we have seen our club criticised by outsiders. These people should be
ignored so I’ll only spend the next couple of paragraphs talking about them. To all the journalists, ex players, pundits, fans of other clubs who are pointing out that with the second biggest budget in the country we should be at least putting up a challenge to Celtic, I d just say, respectfully, please stop it.
Before coming here I spoke to Walter who told me what to expect, and I’ve seen none of the Chic Young or Jim White fawning I was promised. If you discount Chris Jack, Derek Johnstone, Barry Ferguson, Billy Dodds, Hugh Keevins, Richard Wilson, Kenny Mac Intyre, Kenny Mac Donald, Keith Jackson, Matthew Lindsay, Roddy Forsyth, Stephen Craigan, Neil Mc Cann, Gordon Dalziel, David Tanner, Ally Mc Coist and Kris Boyd I d challenge people to name one person who works in the media who has given us any positive coverage this season at all.
But we don’t listen to the haters, we hear what they say, think about it and respond in a thin skinned manner, but we don’t listen to them or give them any thoughts at all, except the brief few paragraphs here where I’ve called them all out. I have too much respect for the role to bring myself down to their level by saying they are all a bunch of disrespectful sh*ts. Others may chose to do that, but I d never say they are all a bunch of disrespectful a**holes with their talk of “no plan B, only knows one formation”
No sir, not me, Mark Warburton.
The club now is in such a strong position. While weaklings like Hearts agreed a creditors agreement to keep their club alive and their fans raised millions of pounds to save and rebuild their club, we are proud that Rangers fans stood outside the ground waving sheets with poorly spelt messages directed at all the wrong people while waiting for some one to do something when the club was in its darkest days. Liquidation and a new beginning in division 3 was your reward.
Please donate.
We now see us able to sign players who are out of contract, retired, available on a free or on payment plans spread over numerous years – a clear
message of our great financial health and the wisdom of our strategy over the previous few years.
Please donate.
While some signings over the past year haven’t quite worked out as we might have hoped – Joey Barton, Niko Kranjcar, Joe Garner, Philippe Senderos, Matt Crooks, Josh Windass, Michael O Halloran, Jordan Rossiter, Joe Dodoo, but so many others have been a great success like Clint Hill and, well you can see my point, but don’t expect the press to report on this positively!! The disrespectful sh*ts, not that you’ll hear me complaining of course.
These additions have taken time to settle in, which is normal when they come from the unfamiliar environment of lower league English football to the SPL, which is in no way similar at all and was never used as a reason for not signing players from overseas. We are used to this; last season we started with a great unbeaten run while integrating a team of new players. The similarities are eerie, apart from our
terrible form and me insisting it will take time to integrate these players it’s virtually an identical situation really.
Did I mention we beat Celtic? Well, we did. Ignoring the last two results then our record against them is highly impressive and those that say we have been living off that result ever since are respectfully talking sh*t. Even in the games we didn’t win, any fair minded pundit would agree we were massively unlucky in those games and will surely right these wrongs at Ibrox so long as the roof is still in place and Celtic don’t try.
So it’s onwards and upwards for Christmas and the new year. Please remember not to buy anything for the Rangers loving people in your life as we are stuck in a futile war of attrition with a rival with much more resources than us – Sports Direct, not Celtic
You can though join club 1872, where for a monthly subscription you might be able to buy a stake in the club before a new share issue dilutes this holding to worthlessness or you can watch as your money is eaten up in day to day expenses which only keep us standing still, spending money you expected Dave King would be providing – imagine being able to tell your grand children about what you did!
The boys all wanted to say thank you too, they have shared a little of their Secret Santa gift ideas with me to pass on to you, and their choices for our club CD we put on our world class coach on our way to away games.
Secret Santa:
From the club: a hard hat for everyone
Clint Hill – a bumper bag of Werthers originals
Kenny Miller – a tin of creosote
Joe Garner – a diving mat
Philippe Senderos – Bob the Builder DVD
Josh Windass – a big bag of cotton wool, to wrap his muscles in
Lee Wallace – a serving tray for his world class breakfasts
Mark Warburton – a subscription to the Financial Times – he worked in the
city in case you never heard
Tavernier – a go kart – neither can go backwards
Joey Barton – a Lisbon Lions DVD
Rob Keirnan – an Irish tricolour, for his end of season lap of honour
Niko Kranjcar – a can of WD40 for his creaking joints
Jordan Rossiter – a map of Glasgow, to help him find his way to Ibrox
Frank Mc Parland (head of scouting)– a SIM card with enough credit to make
calls to Europe
David King – a locksmith’s telephone number, to help him open up his
warchest
Paul Murray – a Barrel of V05 styling wax & a copy of Accountancy for
dummies
Stewart Roberston – a torch, to help him find his way from Jabba’s rear
Ra Bearz Toons:
Mark Warburton – RESPECT Aretha Franklin
Kenny Miller – Golden Brown
Joey Barton – Let the people Sing
Philippe Senderos – Another Brick in the wall
Jordan Rossiter – Fix You
Andy Halliday – Blue eyes crying in the rain
Merry Christmas-And A Happy New Year
Well done Elcormaco a great read,two words spring to mind about Mark Warmbum——Cuckoo Cuckoo.
All i want is a little Respect,
R E S P E C T. Suck it for me,suck it for me, suck it for me.
Ha Ha.
Very good Elcormaco.
Ra Bearz Toons:
Jabba – The worm song
Ra Berrz Toons:
The Style Council – Walls Come Tumblin’ Down
Crystal Gayle -Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue
Bon Jovi – Living On A Prayer
Mr Blobby – Mr Blobby (Jim Traynor Jabba remix)
Queen – Who Wants To Live Forever
Martika – Toy Soldiers
ABBA – Money, Money, Money
Shakin’ Stevens – This Old House
Excellent.