Celtic Diary Tuesday December 24

Its funny how certain things get publicity, and others are ignored. Moslem staff in Marks and Spencer are refusing to sell alcohol, and its all over the papers. Yet when I was in a DIY shop yesterday and the catholic behind the counter wouldn’t sell me nails and wood no-one said a word.

I hate all this Christmas shopping lark. The usual nonsense from the wife about not getting each other anything-I get it wrong most of the time anyway. But if you don’t get them anything  its a proper kicking on Christmas morning. This year I figured gift vouchers were  the way forward, but after two and a half hours in a queue, it turns out they don’t do them in Poundland.

Anyway, I decided to surprise her this year, and I’ve got her a puppy. The surprise is I found it lying on the motorway.

That’s what Christmas is about. Keeping the peace by making the right decisions. such as taking a flag to the football on Boxing Day

When George Orwell published 1984 back in 1948, the title was merely the last two numbers of  the year reversed. It wasn’t a specific prediction, which if I remember annoyed a lot of tabloid journalists when 1984 finally arrived, but the then prime minister Margaret Thatcher had, to be fair, done  her best to achieve the totalitarian state that Orwell wrote about.

He was probably about thirty years out, and maybe a couple of hundred miles to the south of where his nightmare vision would actually take place.

( On the back of this sign it says cheerio, and sorry about the shite you’ve had to put up with while you were here. )

This sort of authoritarian place can only really happen if the people in it allow it, and so usually they are told its for their own good, for their safety and well being. Normally it starts with propaganda and then is enforced by zero tolerance policing. Throw in a hidden internal enemy, and a visible foreign one and you’re almost there. Then they restrict protests and large public gatherings, before finally clamping down on freedom of expression. First by telling us its for our own good, then by simply arresting anyone who continues, usually on a ridiculous charge after a dawn raid at home.

Stop me when all this begins to sound familiar.

Yesterday saw a can we can’t we debate on line as to whether or not flags would be allowed at the St. Johnstone game in Perth on Boxing Day. Flags that might even have been bought at the club shop yesterday, signed by Celtics manager and bearing words no more controversial than Celtic FC on them.

Apparently, The police and the two clubs had agreed that in the interests of safety they would not be allowed in the ground, but you can  leave them at a pick up point and collect them later. Probably a police station , and you’ll [probably have to wait in a wee room for a couple of days to collect it. But there will be a plastic coated mattress in there to lie down on should it take a couple of days.

However, when news of this broke, Pistol Pete Lawwell came out guns blazing;

” FOLLOWING discussions today between Celtic, the local police and St Johnstone FC, it has been decided that flags and banners will now be permitted at the match on Boxing Day.

We have an excellent relationship with everyone at St Johnstone FC and we thank them and the police for reviewing their initial decision.

Football is about colour and atmosphere and creating a positive occasion for all and everything should be done to ensure that such an event can take place.

However, it is also imperative that the safety and the well-being of fans is given paramount importance and in this regard we share the obvious desire of St Johnstone FC and the police that all matches take place in a safe environment.

We do not need or welcome any form of pyrotechnics at matches and clearly any continued presence of these does nothing for Celtic Football Club or our supporters.

Celtic has already had discussions with our main supporters’ representatives and we have been assured that our supporters will again back the Club in the right manner at McDiarmid Park.

With the team currently unbeaten in the League we want our fans to come and enjoy the game safely in a positive atmosphere – and hopefully celebrate the Club continuing this great run over the festive season. ”

But the police countered with ;

” Oh no you can’t ”

To which Celtic replied

” Oh yes we can ”

and then the audience shouted

” Look out behind you ” -and all the Celtic fans were put into a big van and taken away.

So, do we follow the offical club line-or do we listen to Salmonds Security Services, currently known as Police Scotland, which is a verb and a noun, and not two nouns as previously thought ?

Well, in one of this  mornings newspapers, ( I use the term loosely, its the Record ) there is an explanation;

”  CELTIC were last night left red-faced after a bizarre mix-up over the McDiarmid Park Boxing Day flag ban.

The Parkhead club released an official statement yesterday at 3.05pm claiming the decision not to allow banners into the ground for their clash with St Johnstone on Thursday had been dramatically reversed.

But just over an hour later that claim was shot down by Saints and Police Scotland with match commander Kevin Lynch blasting the champions over their statement – insisting no U-turn had been agreed.

In their statement the Hoops claimed they had held talks with St Johnstone but Record Sport can reveal they actually spoke to an official from Inverness Caley Thistle.

Celtic security chief Ronnie Hawthorn made the call and thought he was speaking to Saints’ security officer Peter Mathieson – but in fact he had dialled Caley counterpart Peter MacCallum instead.

He had asked for a U-turn on the decision to stop Hoops fans taking banners into McDiarmid Park but MacCallum thought Hawthorn was referring to Celtic’s trip to the Highlands which is three days after the Boxing Day clash.

A senior St Johnstone source last night said: “You couldn’t make this up. Someone from Celtic thought he was speaking to Peter Mathieson but their names must have been next to each other on his mobile phone contacts list as they have the same first name.

“Peter MacCallum just assumed Celtic were requesting the ban was lifted for their match as he’d read about the furore over the flag ban at St Johnstone.”

An Inverness insider added: “This whole thing is quite embarrassing. Peter MacCallum didn’t think the call was that unusual because it’s a conversation he’d have with Ronnie Hawthorn anyway as the teams are playing on Sunday.

“He was asked by Ronnie if Inverness were OK with Celtic fans taking flags in and he said the club were fine with that. Ronnie said Celtic would knock up a statement and send it to him which would appear on the Celtic website.

“But the email never arrived which he found quite strange and it was only later when he saw in the news there was some confusion that it clicked there had been a real mix-up.” ”

Anyway, they are going to have an emergency meeting, and Celtic chiefs are “confident the ban will be overturned ”

Then presumably they will deal with the ineptitude of Ronnie Hawthorn, in whom so much trust is placed as to the well being and safety of thousands of supporters. After all, supposing there was an accident at the game and he was forced to ring for some  ambulances….

Imagine the hilarity when two dozen pizza delivery vans arrive!

As to whether or not you can take a flag to the game, we are, this morning, none the wiser. So watch it on television. The sooner that Salmonds Scotland realises that their hero William Wallace meant it when he shouted “Freedom ! ” , the sooner we can all get back to normal and start to enjoy going to games again. And make the next banner say something about Ronnie Hawthorn and job security. After all, communication skills are an essential part of any security and safety operation.

As is the ability to correctly use a telephone. Which probably has St. Johnstones number on speed dial.

In all seriousness, surely this incident has called into question Hawthorns ability to fulfill what is a very, very important role at the club. I believe the phrase is ” his position is now untenable after his competence and reliability is being called into question by the very support who he should be ensuring the safety of. ”

Theres a wee touch of irony. The PLC spend all this time trying to divide our support to weaken it, and here we have a chance to weaken them. Hawthorn is a controversial figure amongst the support. Now we find he’s fucking hopeless as well.

Pick them off one at a time. Hauptmann Hawthorn is first. ( More alliteration for Christmas. They like that sort of thing on the huddleboard ).

With the transfer window blowing  open in a week or so, lets delve into the land of rumours, whispers and complete bollocks as we try to work out who Celtic want, who the papers want us to have and who the support know we won’t get.

This is Markus Henriksen, he’s a box to box midfielder who is currently with Az Alkmaar. He’s tall, young and cheap.

Then theres Aron Johanssen, the American Icelander-or is it Icelandic American. Anyway, what is the correct term for someone from the USA ?

This from an NBC sportwriter, who is surely auditioning for a move to the MSM;

” Normally, any young U.S. man ( Ah-its a US man ) moving to a bigger club would put a little jingle in the jangle for every U.S. Soccer supporter.

( I think this guys had quite enough jingle in his jabgle for one day. )

But this talk of current high-scorer Aron Johannsson moving to Scottish heavyweight Celtic comes with all kinds of cautionary hangups.

First, beyond the Champions League or Europa matches in which Johannsson might himself, the level of general competition for Johannsson won’t be any better than the Dutch League.

Then there’s the rather unique history of scorers at Celtic and Rangers; they tend to score in bunches against all that inferior competition – but then they fade quickly once assigned taller tasks upon moves elsewhere.

Then there is the issue of minutes. Johannsson is performing fabulously for AZ right now. He’s on pace to undo Jozy Altidore’s mark for top scoring season for an American abroad, don’t you know?

There is absolutely zero question that the recent newcomer to the U.S. national team will continue to get minutes at his Dutch club, not only in Eredivisie action, but in the Dutch Cup, where his small club has reached the quarterfinal stage.

At Celtic? Who knows, really? There’s plenty of competition for a 23-year-old striker without a ton of international experience, even if there is significant roster changeover ahead.

As of now, it looks like Johannsson has done enough to earn his spot on the Jurgen Klinsmann’s 23-man roster; ongoing playing time in Holland and few more goals, and the young man seems destined to find himself in Brazil. On the other hand, if he rides the bench awhile in Scotland, who knows how that might tip the balance as Klinsmann makes those critical roster choices – especially if a Herculez Gomez or someone else gets hot. ”

I don’t think I understood a word of that. I don’t think anyone else will either. The Daily Record have asked me for this guys  number, as his burbling incoherent style is just what they are looking for as one of their senior football men continues to increase the number of his senior moments, and they look to make their own critical roster choices.

But is he the guy Celtic are looking for ? Well, he’s tall, young and cheap…

Then theres Alfred Finnbogasson. Well, theres always Finnbogasson. Who is tall and young, but not cheap. And if you aint all three, then you ain’t coming to Celtic.

The Express spoke to Petr Huistra, who used to play for Rangers-the first lot, that is , and asked him what he thought of Finnbogasson;

“He’s a lot like my old team-mate Ally McCoist. That would be a good comparison to Finnbogason. ”

Ah, so he’s a sleekit horrible bastard who will do anything to keep his nose in the trough whilst all the time pretending to be one of the lads ?

Oh, and if you are travelling today, don’t worry about delays because of high winds or heavy rain. It looks okay out there, and I’ve just seen a guy on a pedal bike go past my window doing about sixty.