It’s that time of year, and after last years stunning success with his weegie fitba board, El Cormaco has dusted it down and had a play with it again…
Season Predictor:
There is a rare atmosphere around Scottish football just now, it’s hard to define, but it feels like optimism. Big names arriving again, high profile managers, Massimo Donati back kicking a baw here, a league contest that from 2 downwards should be tight all season, it feels exciting.
Of course if I were Chris Jack I’d put that all down to the return (sic) of rangers (sic) but I’m not. Have you seen his new profile pic? Looks like he’s found out the best way to counter his online critics is to eat them.
It’s the time of year again to forget the holidays and dust off the old crystal balls. I’ve been looking intently and will share what I see there. If you want to leave any of your predictions below we can revisit at season’s end and see who knows their football best..
Champions
Celtic.
We have recruited well, bringing more pace and power into the team and more experience at the back. We have several players now you would expect to get into double figures for goals as well as Griffiths. Dembele, Roberts, Sinclair should all get double figures if they stay fit. And Scott Brown.
Sorry, just had a wee acid flashback there.
We already were well ahead of the pack under the Ronnie revolution (can we say now thank God it’s over?) and even with no summer signings should still have won the league. But the signings we have made and the improved mood in the club and among fans means we can win it in some style this year, with some games where we run up big scores. I’m going to predict we get over 90 league goals this season. That’s 2.4 goals a game. We got two on Sunday, and to be honest I don’t know how you score 0.4 of a goal, but I’m sure we’ll do it.
We are also going to be less tactically predictable this year, able to throw our opponents planning into doubt more often, having used more various formations in a half under Rodgers than in 2 seasons under Ronnie. I know much has been discussed on here about formations, and Celtic playing two up front. For me that is part of the “Celtic Way” but one up front can work, I think it’s about flexibility. Ronnie learned one system and it never changed, making it easy to know who Celtic were going to play – usually slowly and with no heart.
Ah Ronnie. I listened to an old interview on You tube last night, and found my irritation rising when he started talking with that little “uh…” thing he does and his hairstyle from some other time best forgotten. The interview was after his first season and before his second, and he was talking about the priority being the Champions league. Hmmmn, his rabbit in the headlights showing then pretty much doomed him. Poor Ronnie. We can say thank God it’s over now ,right?
I wish him well and all of that, but somewhere else. Of course it’s a certainty we’ll play and lose against a Ronnie team in the future. On the same you tube session I came across a series of interviews with “new bhoys”…Cole, Kazim Richards, Christie (who could be good in time to be fair).
Thank God that’s over now.
God I’m depressing myself looking back – the future looks a lot better right now, fans back on side, players look committed, signing quality and not just bench fillers, let the good times roll.
Runners up:
Aberdeen.
They are still best placed to offer a challenge, they don’t lose often, and have a settled squad and a good manager. That said he is a bit of moaning faced git and of course has the unremovable mark of the Hun about him, but his team are tough and will stay the course for most of the season.
Third:
Hearts.
They seem to have moved away from the neat and tidy game they played in the championship to a more physical, direct style, with an added touch of amateur dramatics. They have a decent squad of players and manager, who like Mc Innes is also something of a moaning faced pain, and if I may give some sartorial advice I’d tell him he needs to change his hair style as he’s losing too much hair through the middle, but I digress.
I admire them much more than I used to, they actually saved their club from liquidation, which leads me onto…
Fourth:
*”Rangers “.
They have more OAPs than a Cliff Richard gig (and he prefers a much younger crowd allegedly) but have a better squad than a lot of the teams in the Premier league. Their fans and the media – no I can’t tell the difference either – seem to think they will offer a sustained title challenge, I think they’re dreaming. As are other teams fans who think they’ll be in relegation bother – there is some garbage in the SPL and a lot of people who will want *Rangers to do well, mainly theguys overseeing our game and officiating it, so that won’t happen.
The biggest challenge they will have is convincing themselves that mid table ordinariness is part of the plan. But they can convince themselves that after 4 years as a club they are going for 55 league titles, so fantasy isn’t a problem for them, it reality that’s the kicker.
Sooner or later they’ll realise King is never putting any big money in, boycotting commercial partners is damaging in the short term and long term to the “club” and they will only be able to overtake Celtic if they find a mad benefactor willing to bankroll their delusions, get creative again with the accounting or we make a roaring mess of things and chuck away the advantages we have. Which this being Celtic is of course very possible. And though they aren’t Rangers now there is still enough creative accounting nous there to mean they are worth the watching.
Relegated:
Kilmarnock.
I m going to predict Kilmarnock every year until it happens. Along with St Johnstone, Ross County & Caley Thistle they play in virtually empty grounds and bring nothing to the table. They have lost the few fans they had and their entire existence seems almost futile, it would just be cheaper to run subsidised buses to Ibrox. If they were relegated and never seen again would anyone miss them? I do feel sorry for that one fan they have who does rants on Youtube but they’d be as well putting him in the team for all the quality they have.
Top Scorer:
Leigh Griffiths.
40 goals last season, I think if he avoids injury he can do even better this year, his overall game is getting better too – a great assist for Sinclair on Sunday. He seems to win over every manager who comes in and thinks “he could do a job out wide”- within a few games he’s first pick striker who wins games for us by scoring goals out of nothing. He misses chances no doubt but I for one am very glad we have him.
Player of the year:
Scott Sinclair.
I was genuinely surprised we signed him; I thought he’d either stay at Villa or move to a lower half of EPL team. I think Rodgers can bring him back to the level he was at Swansea where he looked a real talent – fast, good control, can beat a man, a goal scorer.
With him on one flank, Roberts on the other and Griffiths / Dembele through the middle we look a real dangerous attack in Scotland. He seems to have come for the right reasons, to enjoy playing and winning things and I think we’ll take to him and he’ll take to us.
Patrick Roberts should be a contender too. He is a great player to watch, loves it here and we should copy the Ibrox mob and do a march – no, not thatkind. We should send a delegation to Barbados and stay outside Desmond’s mansion till he hands over the money to buy him from Man City. I’ll volunteer myself for what could be a tough few months sitting in Barbados with a placard.
The Press will obviously go for Joey Barton, just because you know, WATP n that. He’s a decent player no doubt but I can’t see him tearing up the league the way the SMSM desperately want him to, his legs are going and he’ll need someone else to do the dirty work, which to be honest was the best part of his game. He’ll still be dirty though when he can.
Scottish Cup:
Celtic.
Its time. It all worked out really last year with Hibs finally winning the cup in the “Battle of Hampden”, where *Rangers fans came on the pitch at the end to demonstrate what they meant when they complained of no fight during the match.
But enough Scottish Cup, we’ve let you meet other people and play the field, but we’re ready to take you back home where you belong now and treat you right.
League Cup:
Aberdeen.
Mc Innes will audition for the Ibrox hot seat next year by beating them in the final
Journalist of the Year:
This will be tight. Chris Union Jack will obviously never tire of waving the flag for “*Rangers” but the strain is clearly telling on him – as I mentioned his profile pic now looks like he’s eaten all the unsold blue burgers from last season in a sitting and has he beef sweats rolling off him. Bungle Matthew Lindsay and the always eager to please Keith Jackson will all also be competing to get furthest up Warbiola’s backside.
I think we could be in for an epic year in the press – from “*Rangers are going for 55” to “*Rangers are building for 55 next year”, to “*Rangers teams legs finally keep going for 55 minutes” to “Get Warburton to f*ck, he’s a diddy”, to “Bring back Walter”.
Referee of the Year:
One game in and already this looks like it will be another closely fought contest in the “honest mistake” stakes. I think the award will be shared out as they are all rubbish. Not saying biased by the way, just really really rubbish.
And prone to honest mistakes.
Some other predictions:
Celtic will make it through to the Champions league (God I hope I’m right on this one) and will get 6 or 7 points (God I hope I’m right on this one )
“*Rangers ” will get one away draw in a cup. No more than one, but even the Bears are beginning to notice the uncanny knack of home draws they have had since they began again and so they’ll get one easy away one before normal service resumes
Waghorn(pen) will get into double figures for the season. Of penalties, obviously
The Press will stir stories about Rodgers, Sinclair, Griffiths, Dembele, and any other Celtic player in form leaving ahead of any important game we have. This isn’t really a prediction as much as saying the sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening.
Warbiola will be touted for every mangers job going by the Scottish press, and none by the English press.
Barton will fall out with the Ibrox crowd or vice versa. As seen online there is a long history of trenchant views, aggression and unwillingness to play by the rules.
And Barton is no better!
I think when he gets sent off at Ibrox against us for some petulant nonsense and blesses himself going off the pitch might be the moment the love-in ends.
The LNS commission fine will finally be paid by “*Rangers.”
Just kidding. Of course it won’t.
Thats my summary of the season to come…what do you guys think ?
Cheers, a good summary and a likely one, with a good dash of tongue-in-cheek. Thanks,man.
Brilliant article, cheers.
Sorry to harp back though, I’ve probably missed all the chat about Jamie “cheat” Walker’s dive and subsequent offer of a 2 game ban but…
Can anyone enlighten me as to why That guy Halliday at the plays for Sevco hasn’t received the same scrutiny and been subjected to the same SFA offer.
He dived twice. The first far more convincing winning a freekick on the edge of the box which resulted in the ball hitting the post.
He cut in, in front of the defender far too sharply for his own good, and fell over.
The second time he performed a Daly-esque Dive one fully deserving of the cheat treatment was in the 2nd half,again winning a free kick on the edge of the box.
The BBC managed to omit this controversial incident from their coverage, strange really when you consider how relevant and related it was to much of the analysis that had just been poured over in the punditry after the Celtic v Hearts game. It would have flowed nicely.
I find it distasteful that one player is not taken to task whilst another is, both playing in televised games.
Am I wrong and has Haliday been offered a 2 match ban.
Once again sorry to ask something not relevant to your article.
ive got mair chance ae getting to the miss world final than the zombies have of getting to the league cup final and you forgot about cardiff being green and white in may COYBIG
Club 12 will be in a relegation fight. In spite of honest mistakes, they are beyond help. Theirs is the glory of pumping the wee part-time teams. They’re world class at that, apparently.
Good insights El Cormaco but “we have recruited well…” Sorry but once again I don’t think we have. Daylight and a period of real dominance beckons once again and once again we make do. Poverty of thought and treading water because the rest are incapable of a concerted challenge. I know a treble is hard but to concede that final ,even as a light hearted possible, speaks of a lowering of our ambitions.when Rodgers signed would you have settled for the extent of our new players ?
Good wee read,I totally agree with you team finishing order,and you can get 25/1 @ Paddy Power for the exact line up G’luck
Hail! Hail!
Living in England wee get better report about the game up north if Barton was still the player Burnley would have sing him up no other championship club came in for him says it all
The only thing I would have a slight issue with is that brendans team will win all domestic competition and not just a double. I think since he’s started competitive games brendans celtic look formidable and he really gets what this club is all about. I can only see us getting stronger so bring it on.
Elcormaco great article but I cannot see them winning the league cup, given the draw I suspect they would need to beat both us and the dons and I strongly suggest that is beyond them. I tipped them to beat us in the Scottish cup last season but we are a very different proposition now !
Grey article mate but I find it hard to see them winning the league cup imho
Cormack, sorry to come late to the table,i only realised when i read your post on the diary.
A fair assessment,always look forward never back they say but if you know your history,well it reveals a lot.
Thems i doubt will ever find a benefactor like the Dead BOS. remind you of something?The sooner they go back to oblivian the better.
We now have the Manager we wanted and deserve,he will ensure access to the C.L. Title and depending on luck the cups also. Aberdeen or Hertz and the brilliant Tommy Wrights St.Johanstone,he another Irishman will do very well,notice a theme there?
Scottish fitbas in a bad place IMHO with ageing teams like Motherwell who like many others are struggelling?spelling. financially untill the SFA get of there arse and do summit about it,well it disny look good.
But as long as i live i will support the Tic. and be gratefull for it.How times have changed and now the power is with us.H.H.Good luck to yoo Bhoy.