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Celtic Diary Saturday July 2: Don’t Take Things So Seriously

Some of you really need to rememeber that the diary doesn’t take itself seriously, and therefore neither should you. Still, yesterdays effort got everyone talking about the football again, which was sort of the point.

Mnd you , if the stories we are hearing are true-and there’s always a first time-Brendan Rodgers could well pull off the signing of two players from one of europes top footballing nations in Joe Allen and Hal Robson Kanu of Wales. He may also make a player out of Nadir Ciftci.

Then who’ll be Knob of the Week ?

The Joe Allan story grew a little more when it emerged that Brendan has held talks with him in France during the Euros, and there is talk of a one year loan deal with a view to signing for nothing when his contract is up next summer, but if truth be told, the Welsh success over Belguim last night has made their side a little more high profile, and it won’t just be us who are interested in the players.

Their star man, Gareth Bale, has point blank refused to even consider Glasgow because he as in Buchanan Bus Station once, and some drunks were laughing at his haircut. It really upset him, and he’s never been back north since.

Even though I’ve apologised dozens of times.

Wales , of course, are now in the semi finals of the European Nations championship, a credit to the players, the management and everyone at the Welsh FA.

Perhaps the next time the beaks at Hampden go on one of their fact finding missions, a trip to Cardiff wouldn’t go amiss. What they have done with limited resources is phenomenal, and they all deserve tremendous praise.

Except for the guy who suggested Joe Ledley should grow a beard.

He’s obviously an idiot.

Back at the ranch, and it looks like Stefan Johansen will be waving goodbye, as Galatasaray look set to “test Celtics resolve ” with a £3m bid.

With interest fo Germany as well, it seems the all action midfielder-well, he was the season before last-has asked his agent to fnd him a club, and the only delay is the Norwegian wants to make sure Ronny Deila has found another job in case the two end up crossing paths again further down the line.

In the latter days of Ronny’s reign, the two became estranged, even to the point where Stefan would hide from his boss if the two were in the same restaurant. Like he would on the pitch, really.

With worries over the central defence, another name has been thrown into the hat by the media, and its that of Steven Caulker, who has played for England-once-and even scored for England-once.

He’s not been having a great time of it lately since QPR loaned him out to Southampton and then Liverpool, and he has previously worked with Brendan at Swansea, like everyone else it seems, and there may be more to this link than you think.

The player rose to the top, and then sunk back down again. Maybe the manager feels he can build him back up again…

Hold on…now there is some good news today on the signing front…

Scotland striker Steven Fletcher signs four-year deal with Sheffield Wednesday

 

So, how are the players getting on in Slovenia?

We could consult this, the imaginatively titled…

Celtic TV Slovenia Diary:  Bhoys are working hard

Celtic TV Slovenia Diary: Bhoys are working hard

Well, lets hope they are putting more effort in than whoever thought up the title for the official websites puff piece.

However, we encourage anyone who fancies a crack at writing a diary, as it allows one  to look back in our dotage and see what we were thinking.

To help the guys-and lassies-at Celtic TV, I’ve jazzed theirs up a bit.

GOOD afternoon from a much cooler Slovenia today. A storm lit up the sky as we were driving back from Celje last night and it has given us a welcome break from the searing temperatures we’ve had since arriving. 

The Bhoys were in for a recovery session in the pool this morning, but training is outside this afternoon so I’m sure they will appreciate a slightly cooler session! 

Talking of training, the sessions have looked brilliant. Brendan, Chris, Glen, John and Stevie have had the team working hard. There is a lot of sprinting, and a lot of high-intensity work. 

And when I spoke to the gaffer, he told me he was delighted with how the Bhoys are working. There is footage of these training sessions on Celtic TV and it’s well worth a look if you want an insight into what the team are up to out here. 

Happy to help.

but I can’t do anything about this bit…

A different starting XI for each half meant the management team (and us) got to see almost everyone out here in action. It’s nice to see players like Hendo (Liam Henderson) and Nads (Nadir Ciftci) back in action for the Hoops. 

I caught up with Nads after the game and he was delighted happy to back and scoring, 

The piece was written by Summer Harl, the channels cheerful chick, and perhaps a little bit of blue lining-maybe just get a pal to read it-afterwards would have prevented the image of anyone running after Nads , especially if they are going to use the word “scoring ” on the same line.

Still, at least Scott Brown and Scott Allan are, er, comfortable in each others company…

I asked Broony how he was finding rooming with Scotty in an interview I got with him for Celtic TV and he was happy he had found someone ‘with the same amount of energy as him!’ Good luck to their neighbours.

I guess we all get a little carried away in the heat.

Back home, and its that time of year again, a period which seems to get longer and longer every year, where peepil can express their joy in belonging to possibly the only organisation in the world still allowed to publicly express its hatred for another section of society.

No, not that one.

This one.

It isn’t going to be banned anytime soon, but it will diminish over time. A bit like their club did.

Soon, there will only be one or two sticking with it..

Welcome to the 21st Century. When they get here, of course.

Joey Barton, one of many signings made by Mark Warburton to push for the Premier league title, their 55th in juts four years, hasn’t been able to go to the USA with the rest of his team mates, but fair play to him, he’s having a party at his flat when they get back, and has certinly put some effort into it.

Thing is, there is a feelgood facotr over at Ibrox, encouraged by media professionals and part time amateurs  , such as “rangers ” blogger and Clyde manager Barry Ferguson..

A LOT of people see Celtic’s signing of Moussa Dembele as a statement of intent by new manager Brendan Rodgers.

But my message to Rangers fans is not to be worried as Mark Warburton has also added key ingredients to his team.

Celtic are favourites to win a sixth title in a row but I don’t think there is much of a gap between the two.

I know a lot has been made of the Dembele signing – and the calibre of Celtic’s reported targets – but I’m not too concerned.

Let’s be honest, what some people are doing is looking at the age of some of the Rangers recruits and questioning them.

But Warburton has got a good mixture and I’m convinced Rangers can be serious challengers for the Scottish Premiership title.


Its a strange world we live in. 

The managers of Celtic and “rangers ” have both been linked with the vacant England managers job, after vacant England manager Roy Hodgson quit.

Rodgers said, when asked by the world’s media, before the Celje game;

“I haven’t put a foot wrong here! Brilliant. It shows you what the world of football is now, the gossip and speculation that goes on,’ 

“I’ve just landed my dream job. The team I’ve supported all my life. I haven’t even walked out for my first game. 

“Imagine me as a Celtic supporter having walked out on the job at Parkhead!

“Is it flattering? It’s football. There are very few professions where one minute you’re up, then down, then up again — that’s just how it goes.

“If people think I can do jobs at a high level, then that’s fine.

“But I’m busy here, worrying about what I have to do here.

“I’ll be at Celtic, that’s for sure.”

Warburton said, when asked by James Traynor of Level 5 PR-which stands for Promoting “rangers ” , the five signifies how long the club intends to be in business, said;

Oh, wait, Traynor hasn’t written his reply yet.

Now then, Brendan Rodgers came in for a bit of criticism for wearing a blue top in training the other day- a wound that for some fans may take a long time to heal ( me) , but this one, worn by new siging Moussa Dembele is a cracker, and if there has been no decision on the away top as yet, then this picture should be thrust under the noses of the decision makers and kept there until they say yes.

Though whats with the different coloured boots?

Please, please tell me we haven’t signed a player who is too stupid to know which boot goes on which foot.

Caption competition time, and yesterday, this picture , which we thought was an  airplane early detection system from long , long ago

actually turned out to be….

Bob Cobb July 1, 2016 at 9:20 am · Edit · Reply →

Pat Nevin tries in vain to hear the sevco fans singing the Billy Boys… 

 

today, we give you a picture of Rod Stewart, in tears about the prospect of telling Celtic fans he’s accepted an OBE.

Or is it ?

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mike
7 years ago

Let the wind blow high,
Let the wind blow low,
Through Dundee in ma kilt I go,
All the lassies go WhooHoo,
Mikey whit a whopper.HE.HE.

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

caption- rod stewart’s manager tells him that his next gig is in dundee….

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Hi ya bg, how ya doin? bringing my Big bhoy Mr T.to the big swally,you will like him,you have a lot in common.You baith love Bonny Dundee.

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

haha good mate, yourself? ha im sure it will be a quiet night…..

the manager at malones emailed me this morning to confirm the booking and to say there is live music on until 2am….

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Quality!

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

my significant other is now pretending that she really wants to go to the game…..

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

i also have a wedding the next day, but have declined the offer of going all day, will be struggling to make the evening reception going by that email…

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

There are chores to be done, remind her of her priorities m8? 🙂

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

ha ha i will walk in on the friday from work with a new hoover

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mike,
Is it in a Dundee females constitution, that she wear a shell suit, fag in the mouth and pushing a pram with four bairns in it?

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Hi Ya Monti, yoo should ken,yoo faithered maest oh them.They talk aboot yoo awe the time in Dundee,willny tell ye whit they say though,it is efter awe a family blog.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Lol

mike
7 years ago

Caption, Whit the feck have yoo got tae greet aboot?

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

He has just won a weekend for two in Fintry.

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Lucky Bassa.
Seen Robson canoe goal on the telly last night,brilliant,dummied three defenders and put it in the nettie,take him and Joesepheen Kelly in a heartbeat.BG was sayin yesterday about a playmaker,he would be great.
They two plus a big, big centre half,majic.
In Brendan we trust.
Whit about Ralphy with his shit stirrin yesterday,whit is he like,stirrin bassa.
Only 20 mair sleeps to the swally,hope yer no practising.

D’Fhinnein Mick
7 years ago

It’s a bloody knighthood,Ralph.

His call,of course. I’ve no problem with it.

D’Fhinnein Mick
7 years ago

Caption-I telt ye to put a tenner on us!

Eddie MacHine
7 years ago

Rod Stewart is delighted to learn Ciftci maybe in contention for a return to the Celtic first eleven.

7 years ago

Caption: big guy is saying to Rod “don’t cry, pal! I know sevco have the greatest manager in the world since Roy Hodgson, but at least we’ve got Brendan Rodgers!”.

John A
7 years ago

Hi Rod don’t cry! Ralph was only joking nominating you for knob of the week!

Cortes
7 years ago

For those in need of cheering up, the week ahead is a particularly flegtastic time for a spin in the de Lorean Back to the F(patience)eature Fireplace land of Shotts. Guaranteed to get the endorphin levels recharged after comedy equal to everything else associated with The Walking Dead.

Highland Tim
7 years ago

Just love reading this page every day. Can I suggest to have a Knob of the day once the football season starts. You could have a league table
and present or throw a prize at the overall winner.

Rods crying as hes just found out he has to pay for his seat.

Monti
7 years ago

Caption: Rod, the CVA got rejected, their in administration, they are close to death.

Monti
7 years ago

Mike,
I’m away in the Static this weekend with the girl and the bairn.
It’s just far enough out of Dundee that the women are out of shell suits 🙂

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Bet they brought there wellys,pissing down here,hope the weather improves for you all,take care m8 and enjoy your weekend.H.H.

Monti
7 years ago

Bgbhoy,
Email Malones and mind them that a bale of Hay and a trough are needed on the 23rd.

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

they are offering discounted drinks if we can guarantee free rides ont he donkey up and down sauchiehall lane…..

Mick
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Hope you all have a grand old day to remember.

It’s a bonding experience,trust me. Even people you regularly disagree with on here become best pals.

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Mick

Bondage who mentioned bondage,I wisny aware of that,my understanding was, that only took place doon south,where awe the reprobates stay.
I wilny be tied up,I need my drinkin erm to be free.
We are sailing,we are sailing,we are sailing stormy waters across the sea,we are sailing,sailing homewords to be happy cos I need a pee.

David
7 years ago

CAption Rod I was only joking when I said secco had signed Maradona

andybhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  David

What a dry wit you have.

AntonDeclan
7 years ago

CAPTION: The Unseen Fenian Hand makes an appearance at last.

SteveNaive
7 years ago

Sevco phoned the Division 1 College in Charleston (Citadel) asking if they could use their training facilities ( which are really good) and if there would be a charge ! They wanted them for free !…classy.

7 years ago

Caption: Every picture tells a story. Tonights The Night. Infatuation. Find A reason To Beleive. You’re in My Heart… You’re Celtic……

Mick
7 years ago

Caption : ‘But Rod Henrik left in 2004!’

maryhillbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  Mick

Rod is told Efr Ambrose is still on the books

7 years ago

Caption: Rod has just found out he’s not been asked to the swally on the 23rd.

D’Fhinnein Mick
7 years ago
Reply to  Jimmybee

Winner.

To be fair,Rod has shed his reputation once or twice in MM. And a few quid.

Mainly in ten-bob notes,mind

Big Shuggy
7 years ago

Caption: ah canny take it big man we beat barca and they go in to administration in the same year. God’s a tim.

Cartvale88
7 years ago

Caption ‘Rod has just seen New Balance’s pale blue kit’

Bartfast of Napoli
7 years ago

Caption: An aging Steven Segal tries to comfort a visibly upset Meg Ryan

mike
7 years ago

I luv the Celtic,the bonny, bonny Celtic,
They are the best team in Scotland by miles,
Oh how I love to see them,even when its raining,
My breeks are soakin wet and giving me the piles.
You are in my heart you are in my soul,
You are my best friend,my confidant,
You are in my heart,my lovin heart.
Gawn yersell Roddy ya lucky, lucky,bassa,luved the bestest lookin wimmin on the planet,adored by millions and sounds like a Clyde Foghorn,gets the best seats at Paradise,Aye lifes a Bitch.

Cortes
7 years ago

Caption: “Get some perspective, Rod – it’s only a Champions League title – now we’ve got bookends.”

Cortes
7 years ago

Caption: Unrestrained joy as the SSM wins “Best in Show” at the Alec Baldwin Wannabe Competition.

tom campbell
7 years ago

Such disrespect to the Orange Order … and they have to remember appeal is fruitless.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  tom campbell

I do enjoy a bit of Orange squash…

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Although crush is more appealing!

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  tom campbell

Tom, To A Peel is fruitless HA.HA. OOHH I could crush a grape.

Hun Monkeys, Hun Monkeys,hope it was peeing down in glesga.

Monti
7 years ago

Spent the day at the lovely House of Dun near Montrose.
I do like to see how the other half live and a bit of culture thrown in.
However, my roots aren’t steeped in privilege so by the time the tour was over and I did enjoy it, as did the rest of the family, my working class mind said thank fuck!

Tour guide was lovely to the bairn so it was a decent way to spend a few hours.

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Ah the lovely House of Dun and Dusted,just north of the city of Bonny Dundee.
Where that remarkable Scottish poet Hugh McDiarmid and his ilk all resided.
Where is that auld sod and reprobate Pensionerbhoy when you need him,to regale we Tims of his mighty daring do.
It seems that the bold/auld Bhoy has taking the huff,see thats what happens when you over reach the age of consent.
Wake up Pensionerbhoy,we need to ken if you are still alive and kicking,dont make us come doon to the toon and find you.

Johann Murdoch
7 years ago

Caption

” 3m for that wee fud johansen…ah canna believe. it ..this ..is … The …happiest …day of ma …life….*”

Johann Murdoch
7 years ago

Caption

Rod Stewart. Passes test to join the Glasgow East end ” burst oot greetin club”

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Johann Murdoch

What?

Uralius
7 years ago

Just told my German wife I want Iceland to win the Euro 2016, I hear the ruffle of the dog food bag while she is making my dinner…..

Johann Murdoch
7 years ago

Caption
That’s right Rod..8000 of them
Glasgow city centre marchin in the pishing rain
Think of aw that damp crimplene !!!

Rod :: stoap stoap …..ah think I’ve pished Masel too !!!

7 years ago

The infamous blue top is surely grey is it not? Looks grey to me anyway lol

Greenmaestro
7 years ago

Rod Stewart sheds tears of joy on news his next wife was born healthy.

Vinnie
7 years ago

I’ll respond to certain comments in due course.
Haven’t read Fri/Sat diaries.
tONIGHT, What a load of shite from two of the best footballing nations ever?
HH

Vinnie
7 years ago

Oh, FFS, my wife is half english and half Italian. I’ve been following her all around the house going HOOOO, clap, Hoooo clap, a la Iceland. All she responded was a mild F-off. However, saying Mussollini was only Adolf’s stooly has suddenly gone tits up; she watched the game with me, she’s got into my gun cupboard and I’m now writing from the lo……….BANG!
The end. Thanks for looking in. Liz x
HH

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Vinnie

HA.HA.HA. Vinnie RIP. It would be the Italian half that pulled the trigger.LA COSA NOSTRA.

mike
7 years ago

Right I am off to my money pit,but before I go, let me say goodnight to all Tims Worlwide.
Australian Cobblers.
Canadian Duck eggs.
German Engineering.
Italiaanos,luv yoos.
Americano Pies.
English Dicks.
If ive missed out anyone as long as your a Tim your good enough for me. Night Nurse, where are yoo, I need a cuddle.

Vinnie
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Ehrm, you missed me chief, eh?
Ah ‘ ken’ Scoatlandiznyratbiganraat………….
Simplistic minds…………….?
1) Who invented Malt Whisky?
2) Why does very little get exported?
3) Izzit rat good?
4)whit aboot Mikey’s marmalade?
5) Diz Monti like a nippy-sweetie?

Sorry, classical music again, a la, brahms undt listz,
Night night, one and all.

Vinnie
7 years ago

BANG…….Part 2, she missed………..
Well, I feigned injury and that ‘little shit Liz’ has gone to bed. I feel marginally safer, but she’s no FN dummy.
So, since the Etims Gurus, Jimmy, Monti, Mikey and Charlie S have either singular or similar views, or prefer to conspire and crawl up each others arses, is not important.
My comments from Thursday night, which I stand by, absolutely are open to criticism. That’s fine. Idiotic statements, ‘approved’ by some is just collective shite; sticking together about something you know fuck all about.
So, I require answers from all of you (singularly) and those others who think I’m less than a REAL FUCKING TIM.
I understand that most of you haven’t even seen the game you wax lyrical about. Here’s a collective question, or three, since you’re all fucking know-alls.
What effect did Darnell Fisher have on the (45 mins) of pish; and what effect did the 45 mins of pish have on Darnell Fisher. My view: Darnell started off, like he’s done, in his few starts for the 1st team. A Player.
How TF can you prove that when the players with you are playing shite. FUCK this, I’m tired, will briefly explain and then kip;
Darnell Fisher; top prospect, top lad. He’s ready for the 1st team.
Saidy Janko; played (2 half) out of position at L/B; he’s R/B or R/C/B………..FUCK THIS: all needs to be said tete-a-fuckin-tete. No more pish from anyone who didn’t actually witness the game. Finally, James Forrest has proven me right over the last 5 years or so, sorry James, find another club: we cannot afford your personal requirements.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Vinnie

Vinnie,
You are talking pish m8

Vinnie
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Yeah, okay, so explain to me how TF you can evaluate a game you clearly haven’t seen. There’s one cunt talking pish here, and it ain’t me.
HH

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Vinnie

Oh dear!

Vinnie
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Finale Monti, I’ve just re-read the considered statements I made on Thursday night; and, one of your replies was: “You are talking pish m8”
Maybe, you want to re-phrase that.
Life’s about choices; I’m fine with mine.
HH

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Vinnie

Vinnie,
I still think you’re talking pish!

You need to calm down a bit, once you have regained your composure and can see you are being out of order, we can have a conversation about the team.
In the meantime, if you call me a cunt again, do not seek a conversation with me about anything going forward.

Monti
7 years ago

Just put your faith in Brendan, he knows what is required and he will bring the players to Celtic who will give us a team to be proud of again.
In depth analysis of a fucking kick about at the start of ore season is nonsense, everyone is rusty, they are building up fitness and taking on board a real managers layout and tactical instruction.

I have complete faith in our Brendan, stop fucking moaning and keep the positive waves flowing.
Tiocfaidharla!

Vinnie
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Monti, I don’t even have to guess……….
You’re spewing pish and haven’t seen the game.
Just fucking watch the 1st half, the one I tore to shreds, and tell me with all your ‘superior’ knowledge, what TF were they trying to prove; what the fuck could possibly be learnt from that?
Darnell Fisher, great prospect, frozen out after 10-15 mins.
due to the shite that was being played
James Forrest proved he should never wear the Hoops again, just like he’s been proving it for fucking years.
AdInfibastardnitm.

Vinnie
7 years ago

See you, see me, see you Jimmy, a blog-board isny fur a good tete-a-fuckin-tete, eh?

We’ll meet again, don’t know where don’t know when……

We’re on the one road,
It may be a long road,
We’re on the road to god knows where,
North men, South men comrades all……..

Oh, if only. If only the RC church had stepped out and the very 1st Socialist State had been born………..Oh, if only…..James Connelly’s dream had come to fruition……..Tiochfaid Ar La……….Sooner than later..
Conservative Catholicism robbed those young men’s cause….
It was all in vain, just as James said it would be……
I fucking hate Catholicism for that and all its heinous crimes against children……….I’m a very proud anti-Catholic, and always will be…….
Tioachfaid Ar La, sooner than you bastards can ever imagine…………When our time comes, so too will yours, but the squealing will not come from us…….you FN pigs days are numbered………let the squealling begin…..
HH

mike
7 years ago

MAHn, I really luv this blog. WHOOHOOO.The best laugh since the Comedians before it was killed by PC ness.As auld Bill Cotton would say Wakey, Wakeee.HA.HA.HA.

Devoy45
7 years ago

Little more than a week until CL qualifiers! Here is our best team right now:
4-3-3
Gordon
Fisher/Sviatchenko/Mulgrew/Tierney
Brown/Armstrong/Johansen
Roberts/Rogic/Griffiths
Subs: Allan/Dembele/Ciftci/Christie/McGregor/Henderson
Very soon, we’ll need Brendan’s new signings in, especially Duffy (in for Mulgrew)Central Defence is a big worry now. Efe “Bomb scare” Ambrose,Boyata and Simunovic injured. Mulgrew’s future uncertain. I’m not worried for our first two rounds but after that, we need to have our very best 11 available.We MUST qualify for CL this year. Meanwhile,hug an immigrant.Anyone with the tiniest trace of Irish blood should have totally sympathy for refugees and immigrants the world over.How long ago did your own ancestors hear: NO DOGS OR IRISH? Even now, we’re told to “go home, the Famine’s over” even though Scotland is ‘home.’ I lived in Ireland for one month of my long life!

Vinnie
7 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Devoy, your team’s debatable: your sentiments are not.
HH

Vinnie
7 years ago

Hello Bhoys, just grabbed a wee moment to catch up.
I look forward to our Bhoys taking a serious wee 90 minutes to ‘warm-up’ today. THIS IS CELTIC – no pish about “well it’s only”.
Ralph’s post may have been ‘tongue-in-cheek’, however “many a truth spoken in jest”

Monti, I’ll leave it where it is now.
I’ll be at a certain destination on the day we play Leicester.
I much look forward to shaking your hand, (and neck simultaneously). 🙂 HH

Vinnie
7 years ago

Singin’ ah’m no’ a billie ah’m a Tim,
Ah’m no billie a’hm a Tim,
Ah’m no’ a billie, I’m no’ so fuckin’ silly,
Ah’m no billy ah’m a Tim. (that’s the chorus)

They’ll be jumpin’ oot ae windaes when we win,
(Repeat and chorus)

An’ ah hope it’s multi-stories when they jump,
(Repeat and chorus)

An’ ah hope it’s spikey railin’s when they land,

Anonymous (by the Drumchapel Emerald, the Smiddy an’ the Forum)
HH

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