Always believed he’s too old!
Thats why he couldn’t be sold !
He’s indestructible ?
No, he’s missing. Off the radar missing. No-one can find him, although he might turn up on day, along with Shergar .Lord Lucan and Dave Kings warchest.
The club said he’s returned to England for personal reasons, which may be true. apart from the club saying it, there’s no real reason to doubt this version of events.
The old drunk who keeps us up to date with this sort of thing, for just a swig of buckifast and a can of superlager, informs us that may not quite be the case. It’s just that no-one can ask Cole his version of events, , because no-one knows where he is.
Then he got all confused, and after telling us that Tom Rogic has just been told off for being a loudmouth-in the press, presumably, he changed his story entirely about Cole, saying that in fact everyone was fed up of him bragging about his earnings and he was a disruptive influence and since he was clearly not up to the task of being a professional footballer, he “left ” .
Not the first player to come north expecting an easy ride in a sunday League standard league, and no doubt not the last.
What is the truth ?
No idea, and I couldn’t care less. He’s bloody awful, and the man who signed him, or suggested him, in fact anyone who didn’t actually come out and say “Are you completely off it ? ” when his name was suggested should not only be fired, but forced to parade around Celtic Park at the next home game wearing a placard that says “I haven’t got a fucking clue ”
Who knows ? Maybe he will turn out to be the bad apple that led to the insipid performances of late. After all, the kids at Celtic Park just now cannot fail to have their heads turned by tales of wealth unimaginable in the south, especially in “that London “.
Rogic, meanwhile, may have been told off over some stateside contact, hinted at on the MLS site;
A Scottish report has several MLS clubs ready to make bids if Celtic cannot tie down young Australia midfielder Tom Rogic by summer.
Ahm wait. It’s a Scottish report. Forget I mentioned it.
The papers continue to report negative stories, not just ahead of the upcoming Scottish cup game, but also because the team are on a bit of a wobble just now, having allowed aberdeen a glimmer of hope in the championship race.
There’s a couple more stories out there which , if not placed to undrmine the players and management, are certainly there to see if they can make the players lose focus.
Leigh Griffiths, for instance, is the headline here;
Leigh Griffiths’ 3-year-old daughter keeps her gangster’s moll mum out of jail
This story, of an attempted murder in gangland Edinburgh, revolves around evidence given to the court by Emma Cameron, Griffith’s former partner and mother of his daughter. The judge, summarising, said if it were not for the fact Cameron is the sole carer of the toddler, , he would have handed her 12 months in prison for contempt.
Fair enough, its a serious issue, but is there any need to bring Griffiths into it ? Especially in the headline ?
I know it sells papers, but there is an underlying implication that Griffiths is mixed up in all of this somehow, and although the paper goes to great lengths to state this isn’t the case, it makes you wonder why they bothered to mention it at all.
It isn’t relevant to the story.
Then Anthony Stokes, in an undisguised attempt to get into Hibernian’s League Cup final side on Sunday, and engineer a move away from Celtic , stated;
Anthony Stokes: Alan Stubbs could handle Celtic job no problem
“From the managers I have seen there he would have no issue in coping with the Celtic job.
“That is not me trying to put anything out there. You look at him and he is obviously not in the manager’s job that long but he is like a manager that has been around for 10 or 15 years in how he handles the boys.
“He has played the game himself and he understands how players react and how they handle themselves and adapt to situations.”
Hibernian have collapsed, as they usually do around this time of year, and Stubbs may have been affected by his own publicity. He’s not ready for the Celtic job yet. in fact, he isn’t ready for the Hibs job either, by the looks of it.
In the time honoured tradition of the Diary, however, opinions may change should he lift the League Cup for the Edinburgh side.
With supporters starting to circle the wagons and put all the bad thoughts to one side for the moment, we can only hope the the players realise that its game on now, and we are at the business end of the season. Craig Gordon is talking the talk, but it remains to be seen if they’ve decided to do the walk as well. He told the Celtic View
“This is the business end of the season and we need to go and put a run together,”
“We talked about that before the game, making sure we had a good start in the game, getting everybody together and pushing on towards the end of the season. This is the time to turn it on, to start a string of results, and it started on Sunday.
“We drew a line under a poor performance mid-week – which everyone was aware of – and said this is it, it’s time to go on, it’s time to put a run of games together.
“We have to forget about the Dundee game and put on decent shows. We know if we do that we will get the fans behind us and we will go and have a big push for the rest of the season.
“We talked about it during the week and we reminded ourselves about it before the match to make sure we were up for it and ready to push on. We are now in a semi-final and top of the league, so let’s go on and finish strongly and see what we can get at the end of the season.”
Theres more talk about Scott allan leaving, this time it’s Leed united who are looking at him.
And Mark Warburton is also casting his net far and wide…
Rangers eye Hamilton duo
They’ll fit right in over there.
And it will take some of the attention away from Warburton, who doesn’t seem to handle any sort of negative attention very well at all.
Warburton said, no doubt in a quiet and dignified tone;
Would every Wimbledon player have walked into the Liverpool team when they won the FA Cup in 1988? I don’t think so.
“How many Leicester players right now would get into the Manchester City or Chelsea squad?
“You wouldn’t think there would be many. But Leicester are five points clear at the top of the Premier League.
“So everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I disagree with it.
“I have no idea [how many Rangers players would get in the Celtic team].
I can help him here….
“I’m never going to talk about Celtic, Aberdeen, Hibs or whoever. It’s about us.
“The boys have done great so far. So to turn around and say they couldn’t get into another team is all supposition.
“It’s an opinion, which football is all about, and they are entitled to it. But I would clearly disagree with that.
“I’ve never met Chris. He is a pundit, so he is paid to give an opinion. When you make such statements, you hope you are right.
He , of course, makes all sorts of statements without the slightest thought as to whether or not he is right;
“But if we go out and beat Celtic 6-0, having lost our league games in between times, we will have had a shocking season. It’s as simple as that.
So there is no point in thinking about a game that is six weeks away. Our only focus is on Morton, then Falkirk, then Raith and going on from there -whatever order the games come in.
“Our focus is on playing whoever it is whenever it is, to put it another way.”
and he is not going to talk about Celtic;
“I don’t think we are a surprise and let’s have a sense of reality for a moment, they have a high quality squad.
“We will go into that game, touch wood, in good form with lots of self-belief and we will play them very well – there is no doubt about that.
“But they are top of the Premier League and have had five years plus in European competition and have the budget and the players.
Its getting to him.
And the Scottish sports media are watching….
How will they deal with him if his team collapses at Hampden, or before it ?
Whilst we on here can amuse ourselves with his squawking, the players and management at Celtic must put the game to one side.
Partick are our focus now. A game we have to win.
Scott Brown, captain of the side, backed up Craig Gordon’s words,
“The players have got to take a lot of responsibility.
It’s us who are out on the park. We’re still top of the league and that’s what people have got to remember.
We know what it’s about, we’ve been there and done it before and we are looking to do it again this year.
The last ten league games are absolutely huge for us. They are the biggest of the season, but we can cope with that.
Winning leagues is always hard, but it is all about how you cope with challenges.
There are always challenges in a season and it’s about how you bounce back. We’ve got the mentality in that dressing room and the belief that we can do it.”
“This is the time of the season when it comes to rolling up the sleeves and getting on with it.
If you don’t count this statement, obviously.
We mentioned it yesterday, and due to technological advances at Etims-that is, someone else cleverer than me , doing it, ( Desi Mond ) we can now refer you to those lovely people at the Celtic Charity Foundation, who have got a little something special to share..a quality read that reminds us all what the club is about:
Juct click on this link to their site or read in viewer below- we recommend double clicking and reading full screen to appreciate the quality of the excellent doc and its excellent content
And now for a caption competition, all of the winners, by the way, will now feature in a full length article at the wekend, or whenever I can master this bloody thing.
Might be a review of the year at this rate on December 31.
Anyway, Carl jungleBhoys same subway comment induced a chuckle yesterday, and if i can do it, or Charlie saiz can do it, you’ll see it soon.
(Edit-here it is)
Today, however, we look at modern sports science….
our latest signing is paraded in front of the press
Montis in turmoil after his attempt to back Ronny backfires.
Early morning and soon to be ex Celtic player Derk Boerrigter gets ready to be shot out of a rocket pointed in the general vicinity of the Dutch / Belgian border.
British army version of humvee
Your poppy pound produces proper proud products
Is that the ” Holding Company Vehicle ” we keep hearing about ad nauseam?
Now that is funny.
Caption Derk Boerrigter arrives at Lennoxtown Amshterdam Shtyle for his morning rub down and pedicure.
caption he says fuck the bullet wound is the nurse coming in along wae me
Players practice with dead weights on bikes to help train them how to carry other players such as injured scott brown during important spl games
mark “the magic hat” warburton is rushed to the royal after watching his team get pumped 5-0 by the glorious Glasgow celtic in the Scottish cup semi final
Ill have some of that medication you are on Torrence.
Are you on them Happy Pills again Torrence?
If the answer to Mike’s question is yes can I get some please?
Armed Forces Day wasn’t quite what it used to be once Dave King stopped paying expenses
Nice 1 Desimond. – PMSL!
Cant’ pay the living wage to everyone, but can pay for a lump of wood like Cole to come up and waste money and time, stopping younger players from getting a chance.
We defo seem to have an issue with who is bringing in players
Signing Carlton Cole was a matter stroke. Now all of those young lads are thinking…
“If I join a team in England am I going to end up like him? ”
Of course some of the tools will be all like.
“Wow Carlton Cole’s bragging with no real backup on the field makes me want to be just like him.”
See…. those are the dumbies we don’t need anyway.
Caption: A young Margaret Thatcher get’s taken to the Royal infirmary complaining of a sore throat.
Hope it clears up soon.
Bahahahaha hast one Monti
caption: That was the first prototype of the ‘Robin Reliant’.
Are u the driver?
Capton: etims readers get bored to death reading Monti’s un-football-related comments (is that a even a word?)
Blessed are the cheesemakers….big nose!
Laptop loyal in a coma after sevco trounced yet again.
Caption: See what happens when you don’t pay your taxes.
Caption, Ralph gets taken home after another drinking session ends in his falling off his bar stool.(same ole,same ole)
Its a mistery,Its a mistery by lispy Toya.
Big Tax Case,referred to the Supreme Court for adjudication.
LNS its a whitewash.
Resolution 12 nabodys interested,well the Board areny.
Result,lying and cheating in Scottish Fitba nobody pays and only the Cellic Support care,everybody else disna gie a fuck.
mike yes I am
Torrance,please dish them out to me,and your pal Maryhill,mind you he needs them more than me.
oh I do I do
Maryhill, whet have you and Sue got in common,you baith love DOOS.
What aboot tawhit tawooo,Kestrels?
Torrance youve got a lot to answer for,with your happy pills.
A miricle happened in Govan in 2012,a club died,it had lied and cheated close to the tune of £120mill.
Now here is the miricle,it was born again,same assetts,same strips(see the stars)same titles and trophies all bought for a £1. by C.G.with absolutely no comeback,very much assisted by the SFA.and the propoganda Ministry the Media and that bastion of Diversity the BBC.
When you pay to watch the semis,remember who you are giving your £ to yes The SFA.them who assisted the cheats and remember that you are watching the same cheats who stole your cash,titles and trophies.You also give credence to the Media who perpetulate the same club same shite.
Me i will not give the cheats or there assistants a penny,enjoy the game, i hope we gub them.
Things to do in Dundee on a Thursday, head to Boots with a Lidl bag and fill it!
How ye doin pal? are you bored? are you feelin listless are you feelin unloved or is it just me?
Well talk to Torrence hes into those magical pills that will lift your depression.
Hurry up Torrence hes doing ma heed in.
He doesn’t know what to pay since he has gotten behind Deila…..
Monti you could try
Sevco OUT… of the cup
Zombies OUT of the Association
Referees OUT….. of stadiums
Changing pitch sizes to pass of Warbler IN
Caption: Jeanette Findlay makes another valiant attempt to get past security and deliver a Resolution 12 petition to Celtic board?
The first yins always the best,well done Carl.
Caption: SFA’s new updated armoured stretcher design is withdrawn from service ahead of the upcoming cup semi-final – It failed to cope with the knee deep mud and rutted trench-like surface of the national stadium pitch
Carl, you forgot the treatment from the the Thongy Queen.
Montis been confused since Ralphy showed it,hes gibbering like a rabid wolf.
Plastic pitches – Martin Waghorn injury latest!
Guid Yin Franco,liked you as a player,poster and now your capturing the caption.Talented Lad.
Caption, kenny millers new mobile sun bed revealed for the 1st time….
Stop it you pricks youl have me pishin ma breeks.
Help ma boab
Scepovic on loan
Stokes on loan
Ciftci on loan
Leaves us with Griffiths?
Great management that.
Oh…and Cole AWOL.
Monti it is all part of the big plan. These guys need game time so we can get rid and sign Guido_Marilungo
That was for Franco Baresi. I am not in full control today. I have been at a wee bottle and have already posted with an incorrect email address and now have gone all strange again and a couple of doos are doing what doos don’t on my window cill or is it sill.
Time to give up.
I was going to do something about the Red Cross Bar Challenge..but I’m not really sober enough.
Franco ….Brilliant…I think I may have siad that.
OHH GAWWWWWWWD Sues on them now,Nurse Nurse please quickly.
Caption: Following protests against the undemocratic change in name of the former Suffer In General Hospital in Govan, Glasgow to The Queen Elisabeth University Hospital (bokesmiley!), cuts in NHS equipment budget results in new method for transporting deid kafflick skum straight from the mortuary to the graveyard?
HA.HA.HA.good yin again Carl.
Bondibrian removes the latest surfer who prefers Vagina to cock!
Jeez Monti, stop it already. Not funny.
Oh, alright then 🙂
Caption…. The famous and heavily modified St Etienne bike gets an airing at Sevcos Armed Forced Patriotism day.
He.He. that has got to be the best caption picture yet,well done Desi.
Best laugh ive had in ages.
Good yin Andy.
After a big screen went down in Manchester, Sky sports medical ‘ jet in ‘ to rectify the problem.
Miss Murphy ‘s personal taxi is wheeled homeward by Ralph her biggest fan?
Guid yin Mary,mind you he is a looker that Ralphy,why take them to a hotel,when you have a bed on wheels.
ps hope Monty isnae reading this,cos he will want first dabs on it.
The SFA were again embarrassed after President Alan McRae unveiled Fraulein Technology for the Scottish Cup Semi-finals.
Houdini, have they no suffered enough,these gadgies from the SFA,then again you canny embarrass Brass.
I know Mike, but I didn’t want to put my first choice
“Scottish Ambulance Service start the evacuation of Rangers supporters wives prior to Scottish Cup Semi-Final”
HA.HA.Houdini,Emergency ward 10.
After the opening of the first ‘ Boots the chemist ‘ in Dundee, a local is the first to receive their methadone and free Peh….Ken.
You stop it you, Masterminds in Bonny Dundee the night,its difficult to know whos the daftest,the polititions or the junkeys.
James Forrest signs new contract with the NHS Midwifery declaring “wan day I shall master the fine art of delivery”
“Donny, you’re out of your element”….
Its still fuckin funny,its a Bhoy, Its a Bhoy.
The gemme’s a bogey, Doberman , says Sgt Bilko
Cortes thats a guid one to,takes me back,that funny guy Doberman,reminds of that Hun wimmen yesterday,same expression.
Bilko reminds me of Charlie Saiz,Hi there up there,1 2,1 2.
pick those feet up and dozy doh.Swing those hips and away you go.
He never will you know 🙂
Weans all over the floor delivery suite in shambles….
The Celtic board begin the sell off of midfield players in innovative style.
Stop Me And Buy One.
Wullie, Thats true, how did you find that out?That Dwerk hes a lazy yin him.
That top picture is Monti,staring into the future with his burd by his side,sittin in the park waitin his turn to collect his pention,he says hes 44 GUFFAW.
Never mind son,Rommy will soon put ye oot yer misery.
Charlie Saiz is his pal beside him,waitin to buy his paper wondering if his pools have come up,well he is glass half full guy.(must be sair on yer brain that).
Josef Fritzl off on another caravaning trip