Desmond Has A Barrel In The Market Place

Broadsword heard Dermot Desmond’s words last week. and offers some of his own…

In time-honoured fashion Dermot Desmond has went public with his belief/desire/delusion that Celtic and Rangers will be playing domestic football to the South of Hadrian’s wall in the not too distant future.

This is a sample of some of the many words offered by the most robust moustache in European football:

“Our concentration is to win the Scottish Premier League. As far as developing other leagues, I think technology is going to change and evolve how football is sold in the future.

‘Before it was a monopoly with either terrestrial TV or satellite TV, now everybody has the ability to broadcast their results and performances.

‘In the future I think there will be different types of negotiations between teams and leagues that will evolve into more competitive leagues in the British Isles.”

Below, is what he looked like whilst sharing these views.

I merely jest. For many, the idea of not playing in Scotland is laughable. The English Premier League considered the matter in 2009; after 34 nanoseconds of deep contemplation they kindly told ourselves and the recent victims of disrespect (it’s amazing what a decent opposition of full timers can do isn’t it?) to do one and build another wall slightly above Carlisle. That killed it then and with the £5 billion TV deal due to kick in there would not appear to be much need or want on the part of the English to entertain this suggestion, again.

Yet, despite the ostensibly ludicrous nature of Desmond’s suggestion it does, in my feeble opinion, merit investigation. Is he on to something here or is it a simple case of Johnnie Walker Blue Label for breakfast?

First up, I’ll look at why it won’t happen as it’s easier to begin with the Status Quo (not Francis Rossi et al). As any budding economist shall tell you the English do not need us. Their clubs are trousering the cash, able to outdo the rest of Europe in the transfer market and a lot of people are enjoying very nice salaries thanks to the league they play in, regardless of whether the club is particularly successful or otherwise. Here’s a wee example – Johnny Evans left Manchester United, a club who will likely compete for trophies over the duration of his career, for West Bromwich Albion, who probably won’t. Yes, regular first team football is very important to a football player but then again, so is £75,000 per week. The introduction of two big clubs would, quite frankly, make a lot of the dross down there shite themselves. They are doing far too well out of the current set up for it to change.

Another reason in the ‘naw’ corner would be the amount of change required, in a short space of time, for both teams to survive in that league. We are a decent level of Europa League standard at best, the other mob are nowhere near that. Granted, when they get promoted they should improve and, with the likely increased competition we may up it a level but the intensity of matches in the English Premier League would pose a very severe challenge to any squad coming in from life in Scotland. There would have to be considerable investment in personnel and, albeit the funds would be there, we are constantly reminded that spending copious amounts of money does not guarantee success, or indeed survival, in that environment. Think of that the next time you laugh at Dick Advocaat – which means the next time Sunderland play.

Following that, and I probably should have stated this first, is our travelling support. Paul the Tim will be tested to his limits as we would could face a midweek tie at Southampton, Saturday at home to Newcastle and then another midweek away to Norwich. I don’t know if this scenario would unfold in November as I’m making it up and the weather is a bit of an unknown quantity at the best of times so I would be reluctant to speculate with regards to that as well. I suppose it would be good news for our support based through the UK but for us Weegies it would be a proper pain in the arse.

Lastly in Team Negative’s Arsenal (see what I did there? Topical) is the matter of European Football. I think we could more or less forget it for at least five years. Most of my favorite moments of the last 15 years have come from watching Celtic take part in some fantastic European encounters. I’ll also admit to taking pleasure in Rangers’ disasters in the same time period. So I would be concerned about seeing these fixtures potentially, disappearing from our fixture list.

So, what about the reasons why? Here’s the main one – £££. We’ll make a shiteload of cash. We are a very marketable brand, a famous club, romantic and iconic history, recognisable strip and Mark McNally played for us. Peter Lawwell’s bonus would have to be calculated by NASA but we would still be coining it in. How would we use this extra TV income? Buy better players? Stick another tier on the Main Stand?  Who knows but the greedy bastard inside of you feels we would should do it.

We would be up against a better standard of opposition on a weekly basis. We should have a more competitive and enjoyable product in front of our eyes. Crowds would rise, season tickets sales would go up and so will ticket prices – I think that’s something to be wary of; if you don’t believe me then try to get a ticket for an Arsenal home game – make sure you have a driving licence, passport and recent utility bill handy before you do so.

Overall, what do I think? Initially I think Dermot has been on the hot sauce but when you take his business dealings into account then it is fair to state that he knows how to polish a turd and roll it in glitter. London City Airport bought for £23.5m in 1995 when that part of town was pretty much shutting down and going into administration as if it were in the early stages of the Apocalypse. Sound familiar? Well, he punted that plane station for £750m in 2006. Just one example, and maybe not a congruous analogy with Scottish football but I think it indicates that Desmond knows where the opportunities are and as he indicates in his comments, the nature of sports broadcasting is undergoing change. Do I want it to happen? To be honest, I’m not really in favour of it, I’d prefer change to happen on a more European level. If we were to join the best marketed league in the world then I’d be concerned that we would become a target for an Abramovich type owner – although it has its flaws I like the structure of Celtic’s ownership, I like having my insignificant votes being counted at the AGMs and I don’t ever want us to go back to a model whereby fans, albeit we are shareholders, are denied a say in the running of the club.

As I said earlier, it may seem like the annual headline gift from Desmond but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s maybe on to something.