From Fridays diary;
The Jambo’s, (politically correct nickname for the Cousins Of William) have made a good start to the season, and showed they have teeth-unusual for anyone in edinburgh over the age of fifty- by clawing back a win against Kilmarnock in their League Cup clash, virtually guaranteeing a home game against Celtic in the quarters whe the draw is made on Monday.
So, now that it’s all official, we can look forward to Hearts against Celtic in the cup, and the Rangers -Aberdeen final when they finally find a reason to re-instate the two giants of Scottish football.
Anyway, flushed with the success of finally getting something right, we are going a step further….
Steven Presley to Motherwell, and John Collins to Dundee United.
The former you can take to the bookies, if you can still get a price on it. The latter? Well, we made that up. But keep an eye out for news regarding Collins.
Player power and all that.
You may have noticed quite a colourful sky last night.
I didn’t.
I continued my self funded research into great beers of the twenty first century, on my own, because the Diary reader Voodude decided instead to have a session of jogging , which must have been hilarious, and refused to join me.
Jogging, his way of getting into shape, v Yoga, my own preferred way of keeping myself young , attractive and available if the wife is out,
I get to look at ladies bottoms, he gets first hand experience of defibrillators.
And I’m the wuss.
I’m rambling again.
By the way, i see that NASA have announced something about life on Mars. Sailors fighting in the dance hall ?
Actually, what they have discovered is flowing water.
The probe spotted some kids in a dinghy…..
Back to the football, which is why we are here, and it sems Carlton Cole is going to take some time to make up his mind whether or not to join Celtic. Hopefully, he will consider the offer for around twenty five years.
At least long enough for us to follow up our initial interest in out of contract St. Pauli forward Lennart Thy.
The Hamburger Morgenpost claims-really, that’s it’s name-claims that Celtic are keeping an eye on the former Werder Bremen forward, whose deal ends in the summer.
Well, he certainly knows where the goal is.
Well, if he looks behind him he will.
What do we know about him ?
Well, he keeps a lot to himself, but is quite happy to show nude model Nina Kristen anything she can’t find in the papers.
Oh for the days of Anthony Stokes singing a song or two.
Further research discovered that….
Lennart Thy (born 25 February 1992) is a German footballer[1] who plays as a striker for FC St. Pauli in the 2. Bundesliga.
He’s actually a sort of right sided attacker/midfielder, an area Celtic are lacking in.
Who pays our scouts, and why ?
CQN, the site everyone reads but scarcely admits oto, are promoting a new website, for the travelling fan….
A new website – www.homefans.net – is launched today by Homefans to connect fans who need to find a cheaper accommodation on match days with locals who have a room to spare. Luke Verbeek is the creator of this new site which we featured on CQN Magazine earlier in the year. That feature attracted considerable interest. We thought we’d speak to Luke again on the day he launches the site…
What is the purpose of the new website?
After years of travelling to football matches, I was tired of staying in faceless, cookie cutter budget hotels and hostels on match days. There was no connection with local fans and the prices were often ridiculous. Luke thought there must be thousands of fans who are passionate football fans who have an empty room to share at any point in time. At the same time when we travelled to watch football in Europe, we never really knew anyone in the local area. Local fans who could show us around, connect with them and most importantly share football experiences with them.
Homefans is a community driven platform that connects travelling fans with local fans of their favourite club. Its peer-to-peer service enables fans to list, search and book accommodations with locals on match days. Homefans is a service that connects members to a global community of football fans, helping them find a place to stay on match days and experience football in a way money can’t buy.
A good idea, but isn’t half the fun in staying in cookie cutter hotels ? At least it would be if I knew what the fuck he was on about.
Hello ? I’d like to book a room, and can you make sure there’s a cookie cutter available should I need it ?
That’s right, I intend to go out roaming with my shamrock after tea.
Oh, you have some gloaming nearby. Excellent.
Sorry, I’m off again aren’t I ?
Back to the League cup, and John Kennedy, standing in for John Collins, who is….(fill it in youself when you hear ) spoke about the upcoming match with ten man Hearts-there’s no way they won’t get someone sent off, it’s why they practice playing with ten men in training.
“When it comes to this stage of the draw, there are a lot of tough games available and it comes no tougher than away to Hearts. It will be a great match when it comes around.
“We were convincing in our victories over them in the cups last season, but I think they showed at the weekend, especially in the second half, they are defensively very well organised.
“We found them difficult to break down. We should have taken our chances in the first half but didn’t
“Robbie has got them very organised and disciplined. Although they didn’t cause us too many problems coming forward, they are very difficult to play against. Based on last season, when we scored a few goals against them, it’s a lesson they have learned,
“Tynecastle is somewhere I always enjoyed playing. The fans are right on top of you and our support always take up their full allocation.
“It will be a great game and that’s what you want in Scottish football. If it’s on TV, then it looks so much better.
Ah. We hear it won’t be on TV. The BBC will instead be showing Ranger v Aberdeen,
In their own tournament, The BBC cup.
It kicks in when the two main contestants haven’t got a game.
A sort of soap opera. Presumably to bring the word “soap” into the vocabulary of their respective supports.
Going back to the sky last night, a kaleidoscope of colours ( alright, you try to spell it , I think I got most of the letters in the right order ) , mainly die to Scotland voting No and keeping Trident, but then again, at least you can read in bed with the light off, gave this excellent picture, posted on twitter by Miss Jacqson….
Which prompted me to try to compete, with the latest in my series “Same View At Night “
Here’s another I took in my garden, adding to my other collection “you’re a bloody liar “
Manwhile, James MacLean, or Volunteer James MacLean , to give him his full name, may be attracting headlines for the wrong reasons with his political beliefs, so it’s time to remind everyone of the kind of guy he really is…
Bring him home…..
There were a lot of replies to yesterdays caption competition, which showed the pope helping a young lass to locate a couple of her rosary beads, and today we would like to know what these two guys are talking about.
The use of the word “pigfucker ” is permitted.
If you don’t fancy political satire, try this one instead.
Ah the much coveted Albion Car Park (circa 1943) when Rangers dominated Scotland and Hertha Dominated Europe.
Volkswagen react badly to recent criticism relating to the emissions scandal.
From the sound of things, I’m glad I went for a run instead of meeting up.
Yup Kaleidoscope is good. However 2 lines later, die = due. 🙂
Go on…..you know you want to……go on….phone Elton and pretend you’re me……will he believe it ?…….oh aye mr president….oh aye.
Ibrox gets a makeover for the upcoming armed forces day
im standing down and joining the masons.
putin says did you see the picture ae el papa wae his new bodyguard yesterday wonder if she has any sisters
ye know me putin dy name putin by nature
charlie
“d”? are you obsessed with princesses or summit?
H H
I’m obsessed with crap copying – “dy” ya bas
oops naw just bad eyesight
why do you know any princesses ha ha
Ralph
Fuck the football. Today’s Dairy produce was a cracker. The wife has stayed in all day and you have given me a reason for staying alive. I had to put a towel over my mouth though when laughing in case she thought the truth, I was laughing at her. Then no reason in the world would have kept me alive. I love the banter on here. It reminds me of standing on the old terraces. I can even imagine some bastard pissing down the back of my leg – aw naw! I’ve done it again! where’s the nappy?
Obama “And see this foot, that’s the one I’m going to kick you right in the balls with”.
Der Volkswagen are lined up for execution after giving out the wrong emissions.
By the way, I emailed a wee article on that email address none of you can ever remember etims.contact@googlemail.com
Fine if you have simply ignored it, of course.
H H
Caption One:
VP: “Can you believe that result at the weekend?!”
BO: “Nevermind Vlad. Check out these brand new New Balance fitbaw socks I goet fur two-fer-a-quid at th’ Barras. Their th’ gemme, so they er”
Caption Two:
In a well timed marketing initiative, Neil Doncaster announces a new sponsorship deal with Volkswagen.
Obama “What’s the matter with my trouser leg? I wore these way back at Cletic Park and the piss is still running out of them”.
For those that don’t remember that far back, it was “Cletic” Park in my young days.
H H
Only after half a bottle of Lanny PB.
andybhoy
I was posh. It was Buckfast Tonic wine for me. Nout but the best 🙂 Naw, like you, it was mostly the Lanny.
H H
Caption: Obama and Puting listening to the Celtic v Hearts game…
Obama to Puting ” For fuck sake Ambrose has just been sent aff!
Putin: Yip, that’s it fucked noo….
That’s a very brave or very stupid Zebra having a drink with Lion in Ralphs back garden.
Jimthetim
Have you tasted the water in Stoke? Sends everything crackers. Just listen to Ralph.
H H
Stoke? that would make him Potty then. 🙂
Eldorado old tawny was the proper stuff. A wee slug, spew your load and you were in the mood for a good session.
HHS
Tam..Eldorado…That was my preferred wine of choice.
Lanny had a fruity bouquet that didn’t quite compete with Eldorado’s heady but pungent flavour.
On a serious note..(well..nearly serious)…
In 1968…I was advised to boil Lanny in a wee pan…complete with added sugar…to cure a stinking cold that I had.
I took the concoction..and ended up at death’s door..
Fortunately the doctor didnae pull me through.
Them wiz the days.
Hail hail
Just having a giggle with the Lanny and El d talk.
Remembering the adverts at the time in the early 70’s, such as
Don’t be vague ask for Haig.
and the immortal
Don’t be canny ask for Lanny.
Funny days.
What is/was Lanny?
Lanliq was a tonic wine Monti.
Cheers Andybhoy,
I used to take a carry out of Twelve cans of Mcewans export and a bottle of Q.C.
Too much.
El-D was my preference we used to call it by numerous names back hame..
Jungle Juice
Electric Soup
Wreck the hoose juice
and the old classic ..Bottle of who you looking at?
Vino Collapso:)
`Remember Scotsmac? The posh version of cheap shit. A mixture of cheap sherry & cheap whisky.
Me and my pal c1971/2 thought it would be a good idea for that to be our Hogmannay bottle. We got a lot of sympathetic refusals to ‘have a half’. 🙂
Caption…
George Sqaare at the recent Orangefest
Collins and Kennedy still at the 30 yard passing during the warm up on Saturday… then Collins moves to laying off for shooty in and Kennedy throws it up in the air for the four defenders to head back to him…one at a time ! RD on the pitch at the time too…ffs is this the best we can do ?
Spent the match at pittodrie watching 44players, 2 balls and so on after the el d. And the crowd was about 80 thousand.
HH
Have to laugh at these so called professional pundits on BT’s Goals Show.
Olympiakos scored their 2nd goal and none of them can agree as to whether the ball crosses the line or not.
Not one of them has noticed that the Arsenal defender on the line pushes the ball with both hands.
Scotsmac! Jeez now there was a beverage brewed for the brave! Two cans of Tennants Super and a half bottle of Scotsmac they had to fit the polis car on top of you – easier that way
Wonder if they still make it? I’d secretly like to try it again. I’m 62 this Saturday, doubt if I could manage a full bottle. Think I’ll go for the bottle of Pomagne. 🙂
🙂
I remember some of the rogues on our bus went for the designer cargo of a bottle of Pomagne and half a dozen cans. Aff their heids in about 20 minutes.
🙂
Arsenal and Chelsea pumped tonight……shame that!
🙂
Noticed Monti’s tipple was the dreaded QC ! Spent quite a few hours debating with my mates trying to guess what the letters QC stood for. We usually settled for Quantity Counts. You would think we could have read the label to settle the arguments but the stuff made you blind after a few gurgles! Great stuff.
Lol or my new smiley: 🙂
Monti…12 cans of McEwans and a bottle of Q.C.????
So that’s why you’re permanently depressed!!! lol
🙂
Ralphie bhoy, 🙂 🙂 🙂
Seriously though, is there any other smileys I can do? I can’t be happy all the time. 🙂
😛
😎
:”)
Scotsmac £4.29 in Asda. Puke bucket also £4.29! Or find the back of a polis car for nowt.
First Caption:
BOB ‘ I hear John Collins job soon available. ‘
VP ‘ Fuck that! I hear Peter Lawell is too hard to work with! ‘
So Carlton Cole is humming and hawing about whether he wants to sign for Celtic? F*ck him…he’s just using us to try and attract attention from a “bigger” (paying) club. Jesus they usually wait until they’ve played for us before they make those noises, this guy is doing it before he even puts pen to paper. I’d rather have a guy whose heart is in playing for us than this cnut. Ronny, tell him “time’s up, cheerio”.
And Finnbogason scored the winner against Arsenal today!!!! We could have had him for 4 million….makes ye want to weep!!! Thanks big Peter!!!