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Celtic Diary Friday June 12: Jelly and Ice Cream Shares Soar

Sad news again today, as Christopher Lee , the actor famed for his Dracula roles has passed away. Until tonight, at least.

A man has been arrested after he was found haning around the actors house with a large wooden stake.

You can’t be too careful, I suppose.

Been on the FIFA website this morning, so if you don’t want to know this weekends results, look away now…

Martin Odegaard, the Norwegian wonderkid, sat four seats away from Ronny Deila at the Lillestrom-Stromgodset game…

So, we asked ronny if he had spoke to the lad;

Image result for martin odegaard ronny deila lillestrom v stromsgodset

He wasn’t happy.

So we don’t think theres anything in this loan thing at all. And if they did speak during the game, it was just a how you doing sort of thing.

Image result for martin odegaard ronny deila lillestrom v stromsgodset

So, he’s not coming.

Image result for martin odegaard ronny deila lillestrom v stromsgodset

Except we hear he wants to, having made one bad decision, Real Madrid, he’s realised where his bread is buttered. We all made mistakes at sixteen, and at least he has accepted that.

 

Virgil van Dijk has gone a bit quiet since his outburst. Like we said, he is influenced by the last person he spoke to…

Image result for martin odegaard ronny deila lillestrom v stromsgodset

Maybe he should pick up a copy of the Sunderland Echo if he thinks he’s outgrown Celtic…

Celtic have placed a £10million asking price on van Dijk’s head, despite the 24-year-old’s lack of any Premier League experience.

It is understood they would accept a smaller figure, but Sunderland still face having to pay out more than £6m.

John Guidetti has been officially released by Manchester City. Maybe he should be a little more selective in who he listens to as well.

 

Over in the USA, there is a gathering of Celtic supporters. Its the annual week long meeting of the North American CSCs.

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If envy is a sin, then I need to be at confession later on.

and look where the convention is being held;

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If you go to their twitter page and look at some of the other photos, then you’ll probably be at the chapel as well later (@NAFCSC )

Any one over there reading this ? Doubt it. Last thing I’d be doing if i was there would be reading this shite.

Speaking of reading shite, Dave king lost at court yesterday, and injunctions have been issued in Scotland and England which have curtailed certain details emerging from todays EGM at Ibrox. So, Dave has appealed to the fans for help … in a long worded and clearly Traynor written letter. apologies for devoting so much time to it, but it’s a belter.

If you hear the dambusters theme from a house today, it’s likely the occupants are true blues and they are reading this.

I’ve , er added a few bits. couple of pictures, that sort of thing.

MESSAGE FROM CHAIRMAN, DAVE KING

 

Dear fellow supporter 

 

Rangers Football Club is about to commence the next chapter of a remarkable 143-year-old story that has spanned the ages and inspired countless supporters over many generations. Our Club has a deep and rich history but Rangers is as much about its future as its past. It is in remembrance of past generations and my hope for future generations that I write to you today. I am immensely proud to be Chairman of this wonderful Scottish institution and I am mindful of the delicate situation the Club is in at this critical juncture in its history. It is absolutely vital that the board and fans join together to restore Rangers to its natural and more recognisable position – both in Scotland and internationally. Like all of you who read this letter, I have always taken pride in being a Rangers supporter.It is something I inherited from my father who, in turn, inherited the legacy from my grandfather.
This is what Rangers fans do. We pass on our pride and belief in Rangers to our children. That is why Rangers truly is a Club for generations. Our unrelenting pride and belief in Rangers has helped us through the last few years, which have been the toughest for supporters in the Club’s long history.
rip rangers
 
The reality is that from the time of the Craig Whyte acquisition the Club has lurched from one crisis to another and it was ultimately the stamina and endurance of our supporters that led us towards the new era that began with the removal of the previous board on the 6th March 2015. I assure all supporters they now have a Board they can trust to restore the Club’s fortunes.
Image result for lol
It is a Board that will ensure sufficient funding will be in place for Rangers to compete for the Premiership in the coming seasons and the Board will do so in a manner that does not take the Club back to the financial precipice. This rebuilding process should have commenced three years ago but for reasons that we are all too familiar with, this didn’t happen and it is incredibly disappointing to us all that Rangers remains in the Championship. However, we must now turn that into an opportunity. 
Image result for magic wand
 
As a fan I was desperate for us to gain promotion to the Premiership but as a businessman I was alert to the risk that this entailed. The simple fact is that the Club is not yet ready to make a challenge for the Premiership title.
Image result for Motherwell 6 Rangers 1
Even with the economic gulf that Rangers enjoyed against those with whom it was competing we could not win the Championship.
Rangers v Peterhead 20th April 2013
 
We struggled throughout the season and, despite the best efforts of Stuart McCall we struggled, even in those play-off matches which we did win. We now find ourselves having to restructure both on and off the field and it must be clear to all fans that this could not be achieved easily in the little time we have before the commencement of pre-season training. Spending another season in the Championship is an undesirable reality and we have to start with rebuilding the footballing side so that we end this next season as champions of the Championship and ready to compete for the Premiership title. 
it's coming
We must target players who have the quality and desire to play for Rangers. 
nearly there
We must also ensure that the football structure we put in place provides a sustainable and successful future for the Club. However, even with new investment your Board cannot do this on its own.
Image result for nearly there
That is why I am asking you to take season ticket sales to a record level.
Image result for there it is meme
The football you have watched over the last season does not justify the price you have paid but we want and need to do better. Our Club cannot, and must not, get to the point where we celebrate mediocrity. The Rangers Football Club has, for over a century, been the biggest Club in Scotland and will be again. That is a non-negotiable for me. Our Club stands at a crossroads and the next season is critical to our future.
 
This must be the last season we spend in the Championship and an intelligent and realistic strategy to drive Rangers back to the very top as quickly as possible is required. Over the last year I have witnessed just how much so many of you care for Rangers. The last several years have been anything but easy and it has been your unflinching support and love for our Club that has held it together.
rip rangers
It has been the historical willingness of fans to back the team by purchasing season tickets and supporting the Club’s retail operations and creating new ventures (such as Rangers Pools, now Rangers Lotto) that ensured long-term success and domination in Scotland. It is not so long ago that Rangers had the second most profitable football brand in the UK.
really
I will be engaging our retail partners to find a way forward to deal with the current concern of fans that purchasing replica kit and other merchandise does not support the Club to the extent that historically has been the case. I will make further comment on that topic in the coming weeks. Although my present focus is on new season tickets I also want to create a way for supporters to participate in the Club that goes beyond what we have seen in the past and creates a new legacy for future generations.
 
The Club will seek to innovate and grow in partnership with our supporters and more detail will be conveyed in the not too distant future. I ask you to buy season tickets for two important reasons.
go on
First, it is vital to the rebuilding of the Club that Rangers is restored to its natural economic power in Scottish football and internationally.
laughter
As stated above, this is fundamentally derived from supporters attending games because investment from shareholders can make a difference when dealing with funding shortfalls but is not a long-term solution.
The second reason is that I believe supporters are being presented with a unique once-in-a generation opportunity to acquire a season ticket and retain it in the family for future generations.
wtf
The Club is presently at an all-time low but we are on the way back. This is a chance to watch a Championship winning team next season and to look back in the future with satisfaction at the part you played in rebuilding your beloved football team.
not me kitchener
 
This is an opportunity your father never had and one that your children should be spared. There is nothing like watching Rangers playing and winning and it is our duty to make sure our children can experience and enjoy that special feeling without suffering as you have done. In addition to the need to rebuild the first team squad we must stop merely paying lip service to youth development. Auchenhowie must become the envy of all and it is equally important that Rangers recruiting systems are also fully restored after years of neglect.
 
All of this will require money
your money
and that is why I am urging every supporter to buy into what we are trying to achieve for Rangers. All season ticket proceeds will be fully invested in the footballing activities of the Club.
Image result for dave king glib and shameless liar
The wrong types have been removed from the Club and for the first time in years there is hope. We can all be confident that there will be no more squandering of money. Hopefully we can share the vision to return Rangers to the pinnacle of the domestic game within two or three years and thus become European regulars again. We can and we must do that because our Club is too big to settle for anything less.
too dead to die
So, the average price for a ticket for season 2015-16 is £411 representing a relatively modest 5% increase which is necessary if we are to generate the levels of finance required to achieve our immediate goals. I do not believe we should talk in exact numbers because we do not know precisely how much it will cost to rebuild and restore this wonderful Club. 
Image result for full transparency
 
The required funding for this new season alone could change significantly depending on how discussions with our retail partners are concluded. We have to spend immediately to rebuild the football staff at all levels but we can’t say for certain how much it will cost to forge a team to win the Championship. What I can say, however, is that if I, and other investors have to put in an extra £5m for this season that’s what we’ll do. If it requires more, for instance £10m, so be it. 
 Image result for fingers crossed
The crucial point is this: We can only do this together.
kitchener
We must all invest in our Club’s future.
kitchener
This is the only way we will regain our pride, status, position and credibility. 
Image result for young frankenstein
This is our Club, our time and we must make sure we succeed for the generations who have gone before and for those who will follow us. 
lemmings
 Silly sods.
Inspired by silly sods.
Dingwall obviously unaware that the club has to buy back any unsold stock.
Then there’s Derek Johnstone, who seems to be unaware of, well, everything.

What Rangers need right now is finance, we are all aware of that, and Dave and other investors will put money in themselves to help fund the rebuilding job at Ibrox.

But the fans need to do it as well.

Er, as well ? Don’t you mean “again ” ?

The team of last season is gone. It is time to build a new team, a new squad, under a new manager. The fans can play their part in that.

They are all delighted with the people that are running the club now. 

Nurse! He’s fallen out of bed again.

We knew when Green and Whyte took over they were fucked. Looks like we are about to discover how badly.
 As for the support, surely this time they won’t fall for it again. To be an Ibrox fan these days is like winning fourth prize in a sleep with one of the Corrs contest.
It’s time to put them out of their misery. Although this time they might do it themselves.
 After all, the EGM is today.
explosion
Something to think about today. This fellow appeared on television yesterday. what’s his story ?
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dziekanowski's nightclub child
8 years ago

The Angola 3

Bhoris
8 years ago

Is it Snoop Dogs dad?

CarlJungleBhoy
8 years ago

Is it GMS complaining about the spray tan treatment that went badly wrong?

8 years ago

Stop stop I am going to pee, pure comedy class.it certainly looks like jelly and ice cream for years and years to come. Keep up the good work, a day is never the same without the Diary HH

8 years ago

WOW!!! i had tae read Kings statement twice, mainly because i was pishing myself at your pictures but also because it’s so far beyond the realms of fiction it’s incredible, this is a statement contrived by a Lying, crook, conman, fraudster, embezzling ARSEWIPE of a human being, but the best bit and the bit that just makes life fantastic is that all those thick, knuckledragging Govan tramps will lap it all up and go cash their giros and hand it happily over tae King.. the only thing that gets passed from one generation of hun tae another is the ability tae be so fkg stupid, and how tae peel bananas with their feet…HAIL HAIL, OH67+

Desmond dekker and the dekkers
8 years ago

There were 4 in the corrs – the three burds and Jim

Admin
8 years ago

hence you might no be excited at winning 4th prize

Desmond dekker and the dekkers
8 years ago
Reply to  Desi Mond

You might be if you were a gay teddy bear

Admin
8 years ago

or a Lesbian Lhioness too!

Jace
8 years ago

Nearly fell off my chair laughing, what a good read, Must say they are just terrific, no manager, no players, no money yet World Domination remains on the agenda! You really could not make it up!

Jerseybhoy
8 years ago

Robert King .Black Panther . Said he wore the Hoops shirt because it represented oppressed people like me.

jim
8 years ago

judging by his coupon he must be one of those so called celtic fans who will only come to see the club he professes to support only if the mighty glasgow rangers are in the same league…….looks quite depressed doesnt he….and judging by his age he may never see that incarnation of that club in the premiership again……aw diddums.

Jerseybhoy
8 years ago
Reply to  jim

Away back under your rock with Deadhead ya Knob

John Mccloy in tasmania
8 years ago

Jim don,t be a dickhead all your life take a day off and read the news.

John Mccloy in tasmania
8 years ago

Highlight of my day Ralph i look forward to the diary(or dairy)keenly congrats on a job well done.

john keenan
8 years ago

Total fucking conman.
HH

San Miguel
8 years ago

Ralph – posibly the most Glib & Shameless Diary ever !

Thanks

Still laughing at the Fifa joke when I got to the GASH statement

Carl Bigginslater
8 years ago

Purely belter. I think that’s what mike Ashley would say about that. What a letter/statement/appeal from Davie King. Absolutely loved your add-ons. Hilarious. Loved the bit from the Mail online. Best diary of the month. a triumph. Can’t wait to see the response of the hordes.

pensionerbhoy
8 years ago

Ralph

No comment. I am simply gobsmacked – but happy as fuck!!!!!

Angola 3 story is incredible and that shirt says it all about US and U.S.

H H

pensionerbhoy
8 years ago
Reply to  pensionerbhoy

Ditto, Ralph

CB

“Absolutely loved your add-ons. Hilarious. Loved the bit from the Mail online. Best diary of the month. a triumph. Can’t wait to see the response of the hordes.”

H H

Tony Cairns
8 years ago

Always read your excellent blog Ralph but don’t post comments usually. Had to today though as your wit and meme Mastery on King’s moonbeams had me poorless!

8 years ago

Great stuff Ralph – keep it coming

salad gueen
8 years ago

He is the American benny from crossroads.

Funkyy
8 years ago

Our obvious bias aside, we can see the shite pouring out of the mouths of the new sevco board, we recognize that one group of lying bassas has gone only to be replaced by another group cut from the same cloth….yet the “media” doesn’t attack them for the lack of the promised “transparency” or the obvious reluctance to answer a direct question with a clear, detailed answer. It is truly shameful that this deid club holds such influence among those who are always claiming to be bastions of the truth.
Apart from that just wanna say the Diary today was a cracker!!!

Charlie Saiz
8 years ago

He’s the only King to have graced the Daily Rangord in the last 20 years to speak the truth and come across as a genuine guy.

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