Celtic Diary Thursday February 5: Midnight Away Games Will Ease Traffic

Pensionerbhoy was right. I’m raging.

Football on a Friday night is back. Celtic will now play St. Mirren in Paisley on Friday April 3, instead of Saturday April 4. Friday night in Paisley. Now theres something to look forward to. Wonder if that American Sniper guy is free that night, it’ll be cheaper than hiring chopper cover.

And I need to watch my money. You see, after years of marriage, I’ve been having problems in the bedroom, so my wife bought me some of that viagra to help me get er, interested.

I bought her a treadmill. Same reason.

So, travelling fans now have to make arrangements to get to Paisley on a Friday night, and to rub salt into the wounds, the Inverness away game the following Sunday has been moved forward and now kicks off at 12.45. Thats p.m., not a.m., but its indicative of how things are these days that I felt the need to check.

I don’t suppose it will happen, but I wonder if there is any chance I can do the negotiating of the next Sky TV contract, because the people who did the last one were quite obviously the sort who surrendered their dinner money and trainers every day at school.

Football is about fans. Not about tv contracts. The money on offer is negligible anyway, and when you are trying to strike a deal, that needs to be in the mind of the games representative. After all, theres a lot of sky subscribers in Scotland, who already resent their subscriptions going almost entirely to the English league that is strangling our own game, and quite simply the tv people need to be told, in no uncertain terms, that they either pay up or puck off.

Sky would buckle at the thought of Scots subscribers cancelling, and its time they knew exactly where they stand. After all, these days, there are other broadcasters, and if all Scottish games were exclusive to one station, then I wouldn’t have to pay two subscriptions.

Maybe we should have went with the Leagues own channel after all.

Tv contracts hold sway over kick off times, so it would be unfair to blame Celtic, but another similar contract next time round would be unforgivable.

Etims undercover investigative reporter Chris Bhoy ( if he thinks my jokes are cringeworthy on the bus, wait till he reads this, he’ll kick my head in. Still,  he nicked my pakora haggis, taking advantage of my somnambulistic state after  the Hamilton game, so we’re even. ) asked John Paul Taylor why the upcoming Aberdeen game had been moved to 12 noon.:

Thanks for your email, in terms of the matches played after our European ties, we asked fans their preference for kick off time on the basis that matches were played on Sunday and not televised.  As the majority who responded selected 1pm we went with this after we had agreement from the opposition Club.  It requires both Clubs to agree to a revised kick off time for a non televised match.

In respect of the match against Aberdeen, the match has been selected for Live TV and on this basis it is out of the hands of both Clubs what time the match kicks off.  This is selected by TV and agreed by the SPFL who are the rights holders.  On this basis Celtic had no input into the kick off time for the match.

I hope this helps clarify, however if I can offer any further information on this please let me know

Best regards

John Paul 

How about we just get a decent contract and stipulate that we will not allow our league to be messed around to accommodate the English Premierdross ?

 And don’t let Neil Doncaster anywhere near the negotiations. Tell him to just ask everyone what they want to drink and then tell him theres an urgent phone call for him and he needs to take it in the broom cupboard.

 Then lock the fecking door.

Okay, maybe I’m being a little hard on Doncaster. Lets put him to the test.

 ” Neil, I need a cheque for twenty grand to , er, pay for an advert in the paper that says Scottish football is brilliant. “

I rest my case.

Money is a funny thing, and it makes people do funny things. Former Celt Georgios Samaras will be relieved at finding  a new club, but its strange seeing wearing the scarf, largely due to the colours;

Samaras has now signed up with Al-Hilal on a 3 year deal which will see him net £3m in his first year, another £3m in his second and then £4m in his 3rd and final year. 

 Good luck to the guy, but I can’t help but think theres a career in Holly wood awaiting the man who put together the video that convinced them to spend that sort of money on the big guy.

Closer to home, and theres a chance to take a step closer to the quadruple tthis weekend when Celtic face the conquerors of aberdeen in the next round of the Scottish Cup.

 Paul Hartleys Dundee await the hoops, and we will have to be at our best to get a result. After the hype of last weeks League Cup game, this , much ,ore difficult tie, isn’t getting the same attention, and Celtics players will need it drummed in to them that Dundee are a far more dangerous opponent than the Ibrox side from Sunday.

And I’m not just saying that.

In form striker Leigh Griffiths reminded us;

 “We went there last time and dropped two points and we were lucky to come away with a point, to be honest, because the chances they had with 10-15 minutes to go really should have buried us and put us out of sight.

“They have picked up results recently and they beat Aberdeen in the last round p so they will be looking forward to the game and will be looking to take another scalp.” 

Dundee boss Paul Hartley, a former Celt remembered for his drive and dtermination, is no different as a manager;

 “I love the Scottish Cup as a manager and I loved it as player.

“You want to have a cup run. It’s your best chance of silverware in Scotland and we want to give it our best shot.

“We’ve come through a hard tie against Aberdeen and we’ve got another difficult game against Celtic but we are at home so we have got to go out there and play at our best and see where it takes us.

“They have a squad of 17 or 18 players who are all quality and we have got to play well, concentrate and keep our discipline.

“When we get the ball we’ve got to make sure we do something with it. Then we will see it takes us.” 

 This game could be described as a “potential banana skin “, and hopefully Ronny Deila will make sure the players are ready.

Virgil van Dijk sounds as if he is ready, though you can never tell with the big man. Now that he is tied to Celtic for at least the rest of the season, hopes are that he will get his head down and prove he is the player he thinks he is;

 “Of course I’m very happy at Celtic. I enjoyed the Rangers win and now there is a trophy in our sight and we have a big chance to win.

“The next few months will be big and I want to win a treble.

“We can still improve and we know that. I need to improve as well, but we still have plenty time on our side.

“It’s an amazing club, an amazing team and I love the fans.

“I think we have done a great job and I’m still happy at Celtic.

“We have a lot of quality and when we play at our best we have a great chance.

“You never know in Cups and we have to be up for each game.

“If our attitude is right and we are 100 per cent on our game we can beat everyone and win the treble.

“There is room for improvement and we are working on that.”  

Was he disappointed not to get a move , and does he hold it against the manager ?

“There was no tension. Once the window shut I just focused on Celtic.

“He’s doing a great job and you have to give the manager credit.

“He’s still got us in all competitions and he wants to make us all better players and that’s the most important thing.”  

I still get the feeling he’s paying lip service to us, but hopefully, he’ll prove me wrong.

You’ve got to love those guys who want to take over at Second Rangers. In his novel 1984, George Orwell coined the word Doublespeak, which is  language that deliberately disguises, distorts, or reverses the meaning of words. Doublespeak may take the form of euphemisms (e.g., “downsizing” for layoffs, “servicing the target” for bombing), in which case it is primarily meant to make the truth sound more palatable.

Paul Murray, one of the old Rangers board that oversaw the liquidation of the club, proved a master of the technique in yesterdays press conference, which also saw Dave King attempt to re-write history as he launched his appeal for more money from the already well fleeced Ibrox support.

Murray said;

 “What has happened to Rangers has been fundamentally wrong, disgraceful. Rangers is broken and must be fixed. 

Er, who broke it ?

“That will take time after four years of mismanagement and financial crises. 

Er, whose mismanagement led to the “financial crises “-i.e. liquidation ?

We can, of course, rely on the press to point out these somewhat inconvenient truths.

Then he announced;

. We can’t change the last few years but we can try to get the club back in a position where it can actually help Scottish football.

Hopefully he means back to 2012, and non existence. Thats the best thing they can do to help Scottish football. Last week gave us a reminder of what they bring to the table, and frankly, no-one would eat it.

“One of our roles as directors should be to work alongside Peter Lawwell and others like him to try to move Scottish football forward.” 

Between the lines, this looks like a desperate plea to Lawwell for help. I’ve drafted a reply, should Peter care to use it.

Dear Paul.

                    We’re doing fine. Fuck off.

                    Signed, on behalf of Scottish football,

                        Peter.

When all of this started, we knew that they would try to drag the game down with them, when that didn’t happen, they are now boasting that they would help to rebuild it, when in fact, its rebuilding itself without them. Any deals, any olive branches or favours offered to them must lead to a mass boycott by fans of all the other clubs.

 Yes, they are down. They are not quite dead-at least in spirit-yet, so some sort of heavy blow with a blunt instrument to the head is required.

 Then we can all wipe them from our shoes, and move forward with bold strides.

Despite all their threats and bluster.

 Oops. what have I said ? I could be in trouble here.

Dave King , in his interview, admitted that he had no idea how much money they would need for his new moonbeam masterplan of taking the second incarnation of the club up to where the first one was, though he is aware that little or no maintenence is being done at the ground.

Thats not entirely true. After seeing their recent home game with Hearts abandoned due to snow on the pitch, Celtic Collectibles on twitter has this exclusive picture of the clubs remedy to the problem.

Its time they were  gone, we can all live happily together. Except in Kilwinning.

 It appears the Rangers Supporters Trust have released another statement, expressing their disgust at being referred to, and dehumanized as, huns and monkeys, according to  monkey hun chief Chris Graham.  but Arsene Parcelie has done a we bit of digging at the Museum of Scottish Football History, and found this; ( Well, so he says, anyway, and I believe him, )

 Brilliant, and as far as I’m concerned its a real book with real facts. Probably. 

I don’t know the answer to the quiz yesterday, it was more of a discussion thing, and 1994 seems to be the general consensus.

Who’s this guy ?

 PS, if you get a chance, watch the Kenny MacDowell press conference. The single biggest humiliation i have ever seen of a football manager.  He will walk probably today, if not today, then within the next few days. No-one can possibly put up with that, his credibility is shot through. I almost felt sorry for him.