Celtic Diary Tuesday July 8: Del Piero ? Well, He’s No Kenny Miller…

With new club Sevco turning the clock back to find success in the second tier of Scottish football by signing veterans Kris Boyd and Kenny Miller, not wishing to be left behind, Celtic have been linked with Italian legend Alessandro Del Piero.

The Italian, who spent all his time with Juventus, is looking around for a final pay day, and Celtic has been mentioned as a possible destination. Whilst not having the appeal of a Miller or a Boyd, it makes sense for Celtic to follow the market leaders in Scottish football, and their great visionary Ally McCoist, in allowing one of European footballs great players a stage to show what he can do.

Del Piero is now thirty nine, around fifteen years younger and several shades less tanned than Miller, and may still have something to offer. He has played at Celtic Park before, putting a cheeky free kick beyond Rab Douglas in a champions League game that Celtic went on to win 4-3. Douglas wasn’t ready when Del Piero took the free kick, but to be honest, if the “brickie ” had put ten of his mates on the line next to him, all holding up big wooden boards, it would have still went in.

Del Piero could certainly play, but at 39 ? Mebbes not. Although if we are looking for a striker coach, then there would be none better.

Speaking to the Sun, Del Piero reminded us of the interest in him two years ago, which came to nothing;

“Two years ago it was interesting and it would be interesting again. If we could talk then great. If you want I’ll give you my phone number and you can pass it on! Celtic are a great team and I’ve always enjoyed playing in Scotland so who knows?” He added that he knew of Celtic’s interest in 2012 but that Celtic decided against making a bid, he said: “We were in contact with Celtic but it didn’t come to anything. But I was very interested in moving to Scotland.”  

And I’m sure he was.

On a more serious note regarding transfers, Mikkell Diskerud of Rosenborg is on the radar. I didn’t even need to check, but guess what ? He’s a midfielder. Born in Norway with a mother from Arizona, which is actually the first line of a Hank Williams song. He represented Norway at youth level before he was approached by the then US youth coach , while preparing to take a corner and asked if he had a US passport. The rest , as they say is history. Not particularly believable history, but then it is a Hank Williams song.

I was born in Norway with a mother from Arizona

When a coach , he saw me trying to take a corner, 

With shock and surprise, my eyes they did blink

 Then my dog died and I took to the drink 

I think thats how it went.

Incidentally, he wears the number ten for the USA, and replaced Landon Donovan in the curent World Cup squad…

Well, he seems a better bet than most we get tagged with, and he could form a promising little folk duo with ” Leaping ” Leigh Griffiths, who could do with a bit of a boost to his chart career after his cover of the Cher classic  “Gypsys , Tramps and Thieves ” failed to make an impression on the charts.

Celtic have also offered a trial to Iraqi midfielder Humman Tariq, which has caused consternation in the USA, as Iraqis are not normally given the benefit of a trial, and are usually assessed at the seaside resort of Guantanamo Bay. Certainly wouldn’t have happened if John Reid was still at the club….

All this talk of World Cup stars and trialists needs to be looked at in contrast to the recent moves down south of a couple of Celtic targets. Robert Snodgrass and Ross McCormack have both got new clubs, for a combined fee of around £20 million.

Whoever sanctioned these moves should be taken outside onto the car park and hit on the head repeatedly until some form of felling returns.

Please tell me what sort of businessman  wakes up one morning and says to themselves;

” Right, I’ve got £11m to spend. Get me Ross McCormack ”

I’ve seen the guy who sold him just this morning;

Celtic will find out how badly hurt Scott Brown was in Sundays friendly against Rapid Vienna today. With reports indicating that he could be out for anything between twenty minutes and ten weeks, its important to get it sorted so preparations for the trip to Iceland next week can be made.

He’ll have a scan today, and hopefully its not too bad. Otherwise headless chicken Beram Kayal will be playing, which will cause a little concern amongst the support. And probably the rest of the team.

Teemu Pukki has been a little more honest with his assessment of his performances last season, and the realisation may yet mean that theres a player in there somewhere;

“Last season was not the best for me. It took me some time to get used to the game in Scotland because it was very different.

“The game is quicker and more physical. You don’t get much time on the ball, that’s for sure. It is probably better than I thought as well.

“When I first arrived maybe I thought it would be easier but Scottish football is not easy. It’s not a bad league at all, it’s a very good one.

“I was used to being at a big club from my time at Schalke but coming here was even bigger again.

“It is a lot to deal with but I feel better about myself now.

“There is a chance to be a big part of the team this season.” 

 Its not too difficult to see where he might have formed that impression, in fact, the paper where the quote is from, the Record, should hold their hands up as being part of the problem, as opposed to hinting that Pukki was disrespecting Scottish football.

 Along with the rest of the mainstream media, and the football authorities, the paper has taken every  opportunity to dismiss the game in Scotland, portraying it as a low level league of no interest to anyone unless Rangers could be re-animated, and peddling the myth that there are no good players or teams outwith Glasgow.

 Which reminds me. Neil Doncaster recently announced that he has struck a deal with the television companies to show a load of First division football next season, claiming that the game will benefit from the exposure.

 But not the extra money. He hasn’t told us how much the deal is worth, although we expect the tv people to tell us how much they are getting any time soon.

 Neil Doncaster. If I was his Dad I’d kick my wife up the ass.

 Back to Celtic, and theres another game today. This time, Deilas Delights take on Linz ASK, and Charlie Mulgrew, who is now the main man on the pitch since Scott Browns absence, says he’s happy with the way things are going, even if the word on the street is that Ronny and Jonny reckon the players are nothing but a bunch of slack jawed , lazy assed lollygaggers.

 Pre-season allows us to get everyone game time and make sure everyone is fit when it comes to competitive matches. It’s about improving, getting the fitness up and getting the match sharpness.

“It’s amazing how quickly that leaves you, but it comes back just as quickly once you start getting into matches.

“I was happy to get 90 minutes under my belt and I feel better for it.”

“That’s one match further on and we’re a bit fitter again,” he told the club’s official website.

“Pre-season games can be a bit quiet at times, and a bit too much like a friendly.

“But that was good, and it was a good atmosphere, similar to a European-type game.

( The Vienna game , which did have quite a few flares on view, the smoke even obscuring the pitch in some places. However, no-one in glasgow has been arrested yet, because a lot of her majestys finest had booked the weekend off for some extra exercise, and had organised a few charitable walks. Or something like that.

“It was a tough match, but you have to play it like you’re going to play it in the season.

“You need to be as realistic as possible and try to treat it as much like a competitive match as you can, without going over the top, obviously.

“You like playing competitive matches and it helps both teams get ready for the season.

“I was happy with my own performance and, compared to the last match, there were improvements again.

“That’s what it’s all about for us just now.” 

 Indeed, and as long as we get a result in Iceland, I don’t care what they do this week. BBC Scotland will be covering the game in Reykjavik, and if we are really lucky, we’ll get Pat Nevin to help asses it for us. Which should bring us all back to earth after listening to the likes of Gordon Strachan summarising games for us.

 Those players who were on World Cup duty are all more or less back now, Efe Ambrose being the exception, as he hasn’t made it to Austria yet, but has said he will get changed on the plane on play if needed.

 Fraser Forster has come back from his week away with the England squad, and he reckons he has learned a lot from the experience, and has almost completed GTA 5 as well. ( Hows that for being young and trendy ? Its a computer game, like pacman and space invaders, but apparently these days you can play them on your telly. In colour. )

“It was a fantastic experience. It was great to be part of a World Cup in Brazil,” Forster told Celtic TV.

“It would have been nice to have stayed in the competition a bit longer but we played well in the games and didn’t get the results we needed.

“On a personal level it was good to be involved. I think I learnt a lot. 

 Presumably how much money the diddies in that squad make. And how much houses are in Southampton.

“You spend a lot of time around people that you’re not normally around. You watch and learn what other people do and try to take one or two per cent from other people and incorporate that into your game, or your training or gym work. There is plenty you can learn.”

 Cribbage, three card brag, solitaire…

 You stay with us where you’re wanted , big man.

You know it makes sense.

 Two others returned from their trip to Brazil, prompting embarrassing scenes when security was called….

 Samaras may end up at Galatasaray. Wherever he goes, we wish him luck. He’ll always been one of us, and the same goes for the other guy, a Celtic legend, who fell on his sword to make a point.

Meanwhile, over inthe land that time forgot, it appears that Sevco and their current set of directors have made a big oopsy and forgotten to tell the truth to the Stock Exchange about their exact financial situation.

 Its in all the papers, and I’m still trying to work out how that lot telling fibbers about their finances can be construed as news.

 All I can think of is that there were no cats stuck in trees or shoplifters caught in Tescos yesterday, both of which happen far less frequently than someone at Ibrox not quite telling the truth about money.

Apparently, David Somer, one of the Ibrox board, said that Stockbridge would pay market price-28p each or so-for roughly714,000 shares, when in fact he’d pay just a penny each.

Is that what they are on about when they sing Penny arcade ?

 The gist of the story is that they neglected to tell the truth to the LSE about these share options that Brian Stockbridge had, which in turn means that Deloitte will not sign them off as a going concern, which means they will go the way of their tax dodging toxic predeccessors.

Oh, and its illegal. But then again, so is not paying tax…

 Or something like that. Apart from laughing at them, they are an irrelevance to us now.

 And they don’t come more irrelevant than this fine figure of a man;

 That was only a couple of years ago. Then there was this picture of him at Brora…

Or this one…

If I was him, I’d be booking  a wee MOT with the doctor. Looks like the strain is getting to him….maybe he should get out while he still can.

Mind you, as Arsene Parcelie on KDS points out, theres always other possibilities..theres always work out there if you look for it. Maybe as a look alike ?

 James Rodriguez was the subject of an enquiry from Celtic while he was at Porto, the bidding started at £15m, which meant that when the Portuguese contacted to Celtic to keep us informed, Peter Lawwell answered the phone and told them he had ” no idea who Peter was, and that he bought this phone off a guy in the pub.”

Above we have a picture of “selective reporting ” -and selective spelling by the look of it -which mentions Celtics “disasterous” ( sic ) result against Rapid. We should be used to it by now, and heres a little test. Without looking, can you name the four sides Celtic lost to on last years “disasterous ” pre season tour ?

 By the way, anyone going to Dresden should  be interested in this, from yesterdays replies to the Diary;