A wee bit late today, but we’ve been decorating and re-arranging my twenty year old sons bedroom, and I swear we have found forms of life in there that would keep biologists enthralled for weeks.

So, I tried to relax this morning by having a wee look at whats in the papers.

I don’t know why I bothered. Although I don’t quite know why this is still classed as a newspaper. There should be a hyphen in the title, Ex-Press, because I’m fairly sure at one time it would have been a respected member of the fourth estate.

I include it not as a statememnt about independence, you will all make up your own mind on that one, but as an example of why we ought not to take them too seriously.

First, Virgil van Dijk has allegedly been a naughty bhoy. According to the Sun he’s been messing where he shouldn’t be, and the paper helpfully provides a link to the website page of the business woman that he has been doing his alleged business with. This is her.

Money is said to heave changed hands, and the girl is said to have done what she , er, does.

Footballers are easy targets for young ladies who wish to make a few extra quid, either on the back pages of the papers, or just on their back. I’ve no idea if its true, and couldn’t care less if it is. What I do care about is that van Dijk should be left alone to sort out his own domestic issues.

Then, no doubt, he will be reminded of his duty as a man, and as a Celtic man.

Although , of course, “no value ” in this instance means around £10-£12 million pounds.

Away from all that nonsense, and lets hope Virgil and his missus can sort this out quietly between them, focus has been on the new manager, and already the press have decided that he may be one of Europes up and coming best managers, but hey-he’s no Ally McCoist.

Most papers go with the story that he was originall being spoken to by Celtic with a view to replacing Johann Mjallby, who left at the end of the season. It appears he was also earmarked to assist Roy Keane, should he have taken the job.

Deila has maintained a dignified silence on all this, so thats probably enough answer in itself. Standing on the outside looking in, it may have been the original plan, but it may also be that Deila impressed so much, that the board decided to chuck the dice and see where they landed. That would explain why Keane said he didn’t want to be considered any more. Perhaps, after the first round of interviews, he wasn’t the outstanding candidate, and knew when to throw in his cards.

The sun-again- wanted to present him with a pair of boxer shorts, or a thong , to show what a cheeky, humourous bunch they are down there, but plans for that were dismissed when presumably someone over the age of eight looked at them.

Then theres Gordon Waddell, in the Sunday Mail. Gordon appears to have leanings toward minnows Second Rangers in his writings, but he says his big team is Falkirk. With both sides in the first Division this year, i look forward to his views on those games.

Actually, thats a lie. Its impossible to look forward to anything this guy writes, becuase it isn’t very good. In what was supposed to be a feature on Ronny Deila developing his players and making them better, Waddell decided that this headline was the one to best portray the content of the article;

Celtic boss Ronny Deila admits if any top club

moved for one of his players he’d drive them

to the airport himself

Which of course, isn’t actually what the boss meant.

But thats already too much time on Waddell.

Or is it ?

I’d have played for Rangers in

Division Three if they’d asked,

says striker Kenny Miller

fawns Waddell, whilst neglecting to mention that Miller left them when they were in the top league, playing as the original club, which he might have been excused for feeling some sort of guilt for leaving, or loyalty towards.

” The 34-year-old is back for a third Rangers stint after completing his move on Thursday, admitting he was so desperate to sign he didn’t even bother haggling a decent deal. ” 

Perhaps he knew what sort of deal McCoist got, who, of course , didn’t even look at his contract before signing it.

It was left to Dundee Utd to even up the pro New Club headdlines, when they pointed out to the new club, that they are indeed a new club;

Anyway, lets get back to reminding ourselves that where the press were concerned, we weren’t paranoid enough. Lets just be aware they are doing it again.

All of which brings to mind this, which was what happened the last time Celtic hired a respected European coach;

A signing which sparked this headline, proving that the MSM really knew less about football than their readership;

Ah, do you remember that eruption of fury- all those cars overturned and burnt, police chasing us up London Road with water cannon ?

Finally, there was this, a journalist who challenged the good Doctor to a race, because thats the most important thing about any manager. How fast he can run.

Dr. Jo, of course, ignored all this, and went about his business. Despite advice from another member of the MSM, Hugh Keevins, ( since retired, although some might argue that he was told to retire thirty years ago, but he kept turning up for work, and because of his fragile and deluded state, no-one had the heart to send him home )

Keevins famously told him- and us

“I don’t know what I find more laughable; the fact that Celtic cannot find £500,000 from their biscuit tin to sign a proven talent like John Spencer, or the fact that they then spent £300,000 on one of Dr. Jo’s old pals, the unknown Lubomir Moravcik!”
Hugh Keevins (journo), Sunday Mail; Nov 1998 (How wrong can any journalist be?) 

Another football expert, Derek Johnstone, who , incredibly, is still paid for his impartial and insightful opinions, also worried about the seventy nine times capped Slovakians ability to handle the big time…

“Josef Venglos will live to regret his decision to play this unknown Slovakian ahead of Mark Burchill in such a vital Old Firm Game.”
Derek Johnstone, Lubomir Moravcik scored twice as Rangers were destroyed 5-1. (1998)  

Then, another expert…

“If anything the signing of Lubomir Moravcik at a cut price has merely caused them further embarrassment.”
Jim Traynor (journo) on Celtic buying Lubo, another journo wrong (1998) 

Of course, as soon as Moravcik took to the feild, we could see he was something special, some of us would say he was the most complete footballer ever to play for Celtic, and suddenly the press saw this, and tried to cover the tracks their ignorance had laid. But Lubo was having none of it;

“Tell him I was never a zero!”
Lubo through an interpreter to a Scotland On Sunday journalist who after the Classic 5-1 victory over Rangers in 1998 asked him “How does it feel to go from being a zero to a hero?” 

Apart from thoroughly enjoying reprinting those quotes, all from the Celtic wiki, its an indication of the lack of professionalism within Scottish sports journalism.

You’d have thought they’d have learned from these mistakes, but no. They still paint Deila as the unknown from the backwater land of Norway, who are the amatuers to our professionals.

Actually, as this report, from STV, oddly enough, there are more than a few similarites between Scotland and Norway..

Norwegian football

Get a coffee and read that. Its very interesting. And then read this..

Television channel TV 2 league has acquired the broadcast rights for the first tier in the Norwegian soccer league system, the Tippeligaen, from 2013 – 2016.

The Norwegian broadcaster has gained the remaining rights for the Norway’s premier soccer league as well as highlights and rights to broadcast games from Norway’s first division, the Adeccoligaen.

• Perform secures Norwegian soccer contract
• TV4/Canal+ awarded Europa League rights in Scandinavia

“The agreement shows the Norwegian football is very attractive,” said Football Association of Norway (NFF) president Yngve Hallen. “We are pleased to continue a good working relationship with TV 2. For us, this deal is important for the development of football in Norway.”

The deal is widely reported as being worth US$70 million annually. 

Perhaps its not just their top managers we should be poaching, but their administrators as well.

 I’ve cheered up a wee bit now, remembering Lubomir Moravcik has that effect on me, and the suns out-no, not that one-and now I feel a little better about tackling the rest of that bedroom.

 Lothar Mattheus has played in twenty five matches in finals tournaments, making him the answer to yesterdays question.

 Today, why did this guy put a smile on all our faces last night…