We all enjoyed a good chuckle at the april fools pranks on all the TV stations yesterday. The BBC had Scotland driving on the right after independence, ITV had the introduction of a new Marmite flavoured drink, and Sky Sports claimed Rangers could win the Scottish Cup.

Even Bayern Munich pulled a good one, making thousands of Manchester Utd fans believe they could still make the Champions League semi finals.

They were all surpassed , however, by a double whammy from the Scottish Football Association.

Leigh Griffiths, the Celtic striker who was auditioning for the X Factor in an Edinburgh bar, will be charged under the cover all Rule 86;

Rule 86: A recognised football body, club, official, Team Official, other member of Team Staff, player, match official or other person under the jurisdiction of the Scottish FA shall, at all times, act in the best interests of Association Football . Furthermore such person or body shall not act in any manner which is improper or use any one, or a combination of, violent conduct, serious foul play, threatening, abusive, indecent or insulting words or behaviour. 

So, supporting your favourite team is not in the best interests of Association Football ?

Celtic issued a statement ;

”  THE SFA today served a notice of complaint on Leigh Griffiths, alleging a breach of disciplinary rule 86 – not acting in the best interests of Association Football by singing in public about Heart of Midlothian FC in administration.

Following the incident, the player publicly apologised for his actions. Celtic have fined the player and the Club has also apologised to Hearts, an apology which they have accepted.

Therefore, the Club feels there is no need for any further action, and this is something which we will defend. ”

The wagons have been circled.

Taking the letter of the law, there might be a case to answer, but it does raise a few questions about consistency.

For example, this guy was actually invited to do the Scottish cup draw;

This fellow received an Employee Benefit Trust payment from a club that was later liquidated, largely due to a few tax issues;

Now he’s the chief executive….

And who can forget the cheeky chappie himself, and his outburst where he claimed to have a list of a footballers guilty of betting on the game when it emerged one of his players was betting against his own club ? Or when he demanded to know the names of the panel who found his against his club during a tribunal ?

If only there was a link between these peepil that could perhaps lead to an investigation into corruption…

Worth noting as well that the police have dropped their investigation that Neil Lennon was abused at theLeague Cup semi final due to a lack of evidence….Then again, did you see who was in charge of the investigation ?

Alright, you can’t blame the SFA for the lack of competence within the police, but aside from that, anyone with an independent view can see somethings wrong in Scottish footballs corridors of power, but the media seem reluctant to put pressure on those in residence at Hampden.

After issuing the summons for Griffiths, the SFA followed with what looked like another prank when they appointed piss poor referee Bobby Madden to officiate the already controversial Dundee Utd – Rangers cup semi final this month.

In thirty five games this season he has handed out ninety seven yellow cards and seven red. Shockingly, for an SFA ref,  he has yet to send off an opponent of Rangers this season, so its only fair he gets a chance to rectify that.

And you seriously have to worry about a guy who rates Bernie Winters as the funniest man he has ever met…

What is your funniest moment as a referee?
It would have to be my second trip to the winter training camp in Marbella.  My room mate was the retired Bernie Winters and I honestly laughed from start to finish with his impersonations and stories of the good old days. I couldn’t do any of his gags justice but a personal favourite was the tale of a puggy and a painter’s radio. Better to ask him!

Madden is rumoured to be a season book holder at Ibrox-or at least he used to be. Its difficult to clarify which. Perhaps the SFA could clear it up….

After all, we wouldn’t want an impartial referee at a big game, would we ?

Its season book renewal time ! They’ve gone up £50, but now include home cup games…

Peter Lawwell takes up the story;

“We’ve listened to views of the fans at several focus meetings. Price increase offset by inclusion of all cup games”

Fair enough, these are indeed tough times. Every little helps

Rewarded fans last season & important increase was kept to minimum. Kids season cards kept at £50 so they actually gain”

Yup, we have to encourage the kids.

“Season card exceptional value & only way to guarantee to see Celtic in Europe next season. When Rangers return demand will soar”

Oh dear, he was doing so well…

“Independent review shows that demand for season tickets for 2015/16 will return to 2000-2001 levels should Rangers be promoted”

Instead of an independent review, how about listening to Celtic fans ? The majority don’t ever want to play Rangers in any form ever again. What we want is a bit of serious competition, which is beginning to emerge. Serious competition will not come from Ibrox. Have you seen their manager ?

“Securing your season card for 2014 is only way to guarantee a seat for the following season when Rangers will return”

I’ll take that risk.

“Celtic preparing for return of Old Firm rivalry & £50 increase will help team recruitment both in domestic & European competition”

The only way to prepare for the emergence of the new Ibrox incarnation is to buy body armour and take out health insurance.

“Delighted to reward the fans for loyalty. Next few years will be exceptional time in our history & one we want you to be part of”

Then leave the tax dodgers out of it. 

You know what ?

I sat in front of Peter Lawwell a couple of months ago and found him a decent enough bloke, and despite the criticism he gets, I figured he had the best interests of Celtic, and its support at heart.

He really hasn’t listened to a word if he thinks that we will buy a book this year just in case the club-or company, or whatever the fuck they are, get into the top level  next year.

We support Celtic. Whether we are playing Barcelona or Berwick.

Rangers nearly killed Scottish football. Why the fuck would we be looking forward to playing them again ?

We’ve only just started cleaning the place up.

Remember Willie Garner, he of the two own goals ?

Peter Lawwell just made his first move to eclipse that record.

Beram Kayal doesn’t want to stay at Celtic.

He’s had enough of the league, claiming its not very good. This is from Colin Duncan in the Record, who presumably spends a lot of time hanging outside Kayals house and might just be a little obsessed with the Israeli;

Celtic midfielder Beram Kayal

slams Scottish football for ‘lack

of technique’ & accuses Lee

McCulloch of deliberately

crocking him.

Thats not the picture the Record used, this is;

The concentration on McCullochs face says it all, but the picture above shows how nasty the tackle was. 

Kayal had a lot of sympathy from the support after this incident, but then lost it with some half arsed displays. Now, with his griping about a poor league he’s pretty much working his ticket.

The full article is of the usual Record standard, so I won’t bore you with it, but a couple of snippets are worth a mention;

” BERAM KAYAL was the life and soul of the title party as Celtic celebrated three in a row at Parkhead on Saturday.

The Israeli midfielder’s selfies, podium pogoing and scarf waving looked the picture of jubilation from a player who has taken the club to his heart.

Behind the beaming smiles, though, lay the painful truth this was his last hurrah in the Hoops. ”

From the same Colin Duncan who said that if looks could kill…. yesterday when describing Kayals selfie..

Keith Jackson better watch out. Theres a new kid on the block. 

Kayal’s contract runs until June 2015 but he reckons Celtic will cash in on him this summer rather than risk losing him for nothing next year.

He said: “A friend of mine, Joe Ledley, was on the verge of his contract expiring and was sold to Crystal Palace.

“Maybe this will happen to me because football is a business at the end of the day.

Perhaps someone should explain to Kayal what “surplus to requirements” means…

“In my first season at Celtic a lot of teams came to watch me and tried to find out my price tag.

Thats because he gave a shit.

“Kenny Dalglish, who was manager of Liverpool, and Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United had communications with me.

“When a lot of teams were interested Celtic wanted too much money – like £6m or £7m. Now because of my injuries the price is much lower.

Much, much lower. 

“Every time I get injured it seems to be another four months out. Touch wood, I am fit again now.”

Don’t touch that wood-oh bollocks, he’s got a skelf. Another four months out. 

And of course, the obligatory “bring back Rangers…”

While he is almost resigned to leaving Kayal will miss the buzz of Old Firm matches and the Celtic fans – even if he still struggles to understand them despite living in Glasgow for four years.

He added: “For me the league is lacking because Rangers are not there. I miss the derby, the noise of the fans..”

Aye, time to go, Beram. Shut the door, and don’t let it hit you on the way out.

Oh.

Four months out again.  

Ach, time to cheer ourselves up.

The Celtic facebook just reached the totla of one million likes, and the players have put together a video to thank everyone. You can tell they enjoyed making it..

facebook video

Yesterday , we did our April fools quiz, where it turns out that all the facts were true. Even the one about Macari.

Today, we are reverting to the time honoured picture clues quiz, where you need to identify the player from these pictures;