The times they are a changin’. Just a decade or so ago, the average parent had four children.

These days the average child has four parents.

Somethings never change though, and sometimes even when they do, they just change straight back to what they used to be.

For example, I was in a bar, in the quaint little market town of Paisley just a couple of weeks ago, and while I was enjoying a light refreshment, a chap came over to me and asked if I wanted to buy some socks.

“They go with shoes and trainers, ” he said, implying that he fully understood the correct usage of the item.

Then, after my polite refusal, ( I already had a pair on ) he leaned towards me, and spoke in italics..

” Want tae know somethin’? That Dave King is just waitin’ fur the new huns tae die, so as he kin jist move in an’ get the place fur nu’hin, know whit ah mean ? But, ‘hing is, they spivs is gauny hing oan as long as they kin, and know whit ? They ur gettin some money in, mind that David Murray guy ? Him wi’ nae legs ? Aye, he’s gauny bail them out till they get the season book money in, cos ah heard he’s wantin’ tae make sure evry’hins aw tidy afore the polis move in….” 

And then , before I could ask him for more details, he was away. Just like that.

Just thought I’d mention it. Of course, its all bollocks, it was only because he spoke in italics that I bothered to mention it at all.

Now, if you think I’m full of doo doo then have a look at this from David McCarthy, in the Record;

Norwich City target Celtic boss Neil Lennon as Premier League strugglers admit manager Chris Hughton is on the brink

and heres what Norwich chairman David MacNally actually said;

“You have to be aware of the market and it would be almost delinquent of the club not to be aware of potential candidates if for any reason your manager left.

“That could be because your manager wants to go, as Paul Lambert did, or if results are not good enough you have to be aware of who is out there to help.

“You look at the market and who might be right. If we needed to change – and the average tenure of a Premier League manager is about a year-and-a-half, which puts Chris in the top six or eight longest-serving – it wouldn’t be a case of, ‘Who are the contenders?’

“It would be a case of reviewing what is required, where are we going and who is best placed to take the club forward.”

While McNally’s words will have done nothing to relieve the pressure on Hughton the Scot insisted no decision had been taken on his future.

He said: “If we believe Chris is the right man to take the club forward then we stick with that.”

Nowhere is there any link to Neil Lennon, except in the fertile imagination of the writer.

And anyway, it wasn’t in italics.

Now and again in the diary , I like to mention the Daily Express, which masquerades as a newspaper, usually pandering to the sort of people who Adolf Hitler would call a bit too extreme for his liking.

I actually used to work with a lass who swore by this particular rag, and took everything it said as gospel. Surprising really, because apart from that she wasn’t particularly unintelligent, but incredibly blinkered. As far as she was concerned, Margaret Thatcher was a radical left wing liberal, and perhaps this sort of audience explains yesterdays front page;

It seems they were so desperate to get their headline out there, that they forgot to look at the three personalities pictured alongside. Cliff Richard was born in India, Helen Mirren was born Helen Mirrinoff-her father was Russian, her grandfather a Colonel in the Imperial Russian Army, and Simon Cowell’s paternal grandmother was a Polish immigrant.

Actually, with the exception of Helen Mirren, they might have a good point. I’ve got to mention this because she’s standing in my front garden.

I mention this because its an example-okay maybe a bit extreme-of how newspapers are often so determined to get their agenda across they kind of forget how ridiculous they look.

From the same paper;

Norwich want Lennon

NORWICH are poised to axe Chris Hughton and turn to Celtic boss Neil Lennon as his replacement.

They use the same quotes that the Record uses, but add that they “understand ” that Lennon is at the top of the list to replace Hughton who might as well not bother turning up for work any more.

“Understand ” is a word used by journalists when there is little evidence to actually back up what they want to say, when all they actually have to do is use italics.

Bahrudin Atajic, currently on loan at Shrewsbury didn’t feature in last Saturdays 0-0 draw with  Port Vale. Shrews boss Mike Jackson explained;

“I spoke to Celtic and he’s having to do a pre-season with us,”

“He’ll be doing sessions morning and afternoon to get him up to speed.”

“With the way Port Vale play and the way the pitch was going to be and his fitness, at the moment it wasn’t a game for him to be in,”

Wasn’t this the case with Tony Watt ? Does it explain why the forward line is misfiring so badly this season ? Watt has improved since he went away, but questions have to be asked of the fitness training for the strikers. Questions such as ;

” What the feck is going on ? ”

We spied on  a session the forwards were having at Lennoxtown to see if we could spot anything;

Could also explain why the wingers are always injured…

Theres a few Celts on loan around the country-and other countries -at the moment. How are they getting on, one wonders…

Jackson Irvine was on the losing side for Kilmarnock against Dundee Utd, he managed a full game, so no real issue there.

Mike Miller and Joe Chalmers were at opposite ends of the pitch as Dumbarton played Falkirk-well, opposite benches would be more accurate. Miller came on for the last twelve minutes, Chalmers didn’t feature.

The official site puts a better spin on the rest…

” Over in Greenock, central defender Stuart Findlay was awarded Man of the Match as Morton drew 1-1 with relegation rivals Cowdenbeath.

Paul George was an unused substitute for Hamilton Accies as they ran out 4-2 winners over Raith Rovers to stay hot on the heels of Dundee at the league summit.

Across the border in League One, Dylan McGeouch never got the chance to feature for Coventry City after their match against Bradford City was postponed by a waterlogged pitch.

Striker Bahudrin Atajic also had to settle for a place on the sidelines for Shrewsbury in their goal-less draw at home to Port Vale.

Callum McGregor did see action for Notts County but he couldn’t prevent them going down to a 2-0 loss away to second-placed Wolves, the midfielder exiting the fray after 51 minutes.

Teenager Paddy McNally had a more enjoyable afternoon in his native Belfast as he starred in Cliftonville´s 4-0 thumping of rivals Crusaders at Solitude to preserve their one-point advantage at the top of the Irish Premiership.

Over in Belgium, Tony Watt played the full 90 minutes for Lierse as Stanley Menzo´s side lost 1-0 to Genk, bringing to an end their five-game unbeaten run.

And Tom Rogic starred for Melbourne Victory as they overcome Thai outfit Muangthong United to qualify for the group stages of the Asian Champions League. Leigh Broxham struck the winning goal nine minutes from time in Kardinia Park to seal a 2-1 win for the hosts. ”

When Rogic and Watt come back, it’ll be like two new signings.

Remember the Charlotte Fakes tapes, released into cyberspace last year ?

“”SECRET recordings of Craig Whyte and Charles Green discussing the takeover of Rangers are to be used as evidence in a £28million court case, it was reported today.

The club’s liquidators BDO began legal action last year against Whyte’s lawyers Collyer Bristow, claiming the law firm was partially responsible for the downfall of the club, negligence and breach of trust. Collyer Bristow has denied the allegations.

In a pre-trial hearing held yesterday in London’s Royal Courts of Justice, judge Mr Justice Newey ruled that recordings of Whyte in conversation with others involved in the takeover were admissible as evidence.

The recordings along with a series of documents relating to the club were leaked on the anonymous Twitter account “Charlotte Fakes.”

As well as tapes of Whyte discussing his Rangers takeover, the account published e-mails between the club and their PR advisors, and documents concerning the club’s finances.

The leaks led to an online debate with fans discussing who was behind the leaks and whether the documents were genuine.

Cyril Kinsky QC, representing Collyer Bristow, told the court there were concerns that the recordings may have been illegally obtained, but he claimed that they had been circulated widely on internet forums and so were no longer confidential.

Last year Police Scotland said they were investigating the source of the leaks, but Mark Phillips QC, representing BDO, told the court that police last week dropped their objections to the recordings being used as evidence and that Craig Whyte himself had no issue with them being heard.

Philips argued that transcripts of the recordings should be partially redacted to remove references to confidential legal advice received by Whyte, and Mr Justice Newey agreed that edited transcripts should be made available.

The case is due to be heard next January. “”

Craig whyte isn’t stupid, is he ?

At the time, many questioned the motives behind “Charlotte ” and the tapes, but it has suddenly become apparent. They are out there now, and can hardly be classed as confidential, and of course he was never going to object to their use, which fuels suspicion that they are his tapes.

Don’t expect to hear them discussed in the media at any great length though. Well, not by anyone with any sense.

Or maybe they’ll wheel out their own experts over at Ibrox;

We hear that there is a possibility that the Kilmarnock game in a few weeks may be moved to the  Friday night… so if you haven’t booked yet, hang on for a while. Till the Friday afternoon, preferably. Theres not much else to say on this subject, but next season it needs to be sorted. Thats the Hearts game this Saturday, the St. Johnstone game last Sunday, perhaps we shouldn’t bother with issuing a fixture list, and maybe just ring the other clubs when we fancy a game of football.

Greek forward Georgios samaras is quite possibly not himself these days. He looked disinterested again at the weekend, and now it looks like his agent is going to spill the beans.

@LawTop20: The truth about Georgios Samaras and the Evidence, this week in my blog.

Which he tweeted shortly after this

What happens at Celtic stays at Celtic.

We’ll keep an eye out for it. Whatever ” it ” is. Looks like nothing at all where that man is concerned is going to “stay at Celtic ”

The other we’ll keep on events at Ibrox, especially with what we heard in italics earlier, and the news that the betting culture hasn’t gone away either.

TIMESTALKER: Should McCoist gamble with kids at Rangers?

NO says Matthew Lindsay

After all, theres a couple of senior players he can do that with.

The good looking chap in yesterdays picture was Billy MacPhail, hat trick hero in the 7-1 win over Rangers in the 57 League cup final.

Anyone recognise this Celtic favourite ?