Celtic Cinema Guide : November

Adam Matthews has sent us in his latest  review of the movies up at Parkhead Forge Cinema…poor boy has to fill the time in somehow after that Keith Lasley attack broke his collarbone. Enjoy.

Gravity (3D)(12A) One moment all seems well, your on top of the world, literally, and next, your drifting all alone, cast out in the darkness with with nothing to cling to bar hopes and dreams, that maybe one day, you can return to the warm safe bosum of your loved ones. Sandra Bullock gives an Oscar winning hair cut performance as Scott Brown, a man whose career and life suddenly gets torn apart after one little crazy spark of chaos. Clooney co-stars as Peter Lawwell and Beaker from the Muppets plays Neymar of Barcelona.

Enders Game (12A) Robert Carlyle, plays Dave King. The King who would be King. Can he bring the warring factions together and finally end this crazy killing games being played out at Ibrox. A slapstick comedy of truly Stooges proportions, look out for cameos from the late James Gandolfini as Craig Mathers, Ray Winstone as jim McColl and a special appearance from Dame Edna Everage as Paul Murray.

Escape Plan (15) Simon Pegg and Nick Frost team up once again in yet another madcap comedy. This movie see’s the pair back in their familiar environments of small minded locals with dark forces behind every facade. Pegg plays Brian Stockbridge, an accountant at an evil company named The International. Frost plays his accomplice, The Big Easdale. Together Pegg and Frost must try and beat the December AGM clock and steal, i mean spend all the evil companies money before its dastardly former owners demand to see the books? Can they do that? One things for sure, theyre bloody well gonna try!

Prisoners (15) A heavy and dark historical documentary movie from Scottish film-maker Kevin MacDonald. After The Last Davie King of Scotland and Marley & Jinky, MacDonald turns his lenses on the harrowing tale of Stephen Naismith and Stephen Whittaker, 2 young brave Scots who find themselves looking at years of horrible custody and no help at hand. Can they get out of the dreadful Ibrox landscape before the great new Dictator Charles Green arrives…its a race against the TUPE clock and the drama of those dark times are captured here with a darl slice of humour which everyone will smile at.

Sunshine on Leith (PG) Following the success of Ice Cream in Inverness ( pictured below), Terry and Maurice ( Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan) continue their Road Movie series as the hapless brutes head south to Edinburgh. A land of Docks, Drugs and Sex Shops, can the pair survive those dodgy dangers let alone manage to impress their new crazy boss Ron Petrie ( Al Pacino ) who insists they take his team of hopeless duds on a journey to victory. Watch out for the wooden cameo from Ben Stiller who plays a dressing room door who suffers Terrys wrath.

One Chance (12A) What would you do for that One Chance? Thats the question a sad Jim Traynor (a puffed up John Goodman) finds himself asking one day when a strange little man with weird voice named Charles (Zak Dingle from Emmerdale), offers him the job of a lifetime. Traynors head says No, his heart says No but his lamb loving gut ( voiced by Will Ferrell) says Yes..will it end in tears or glory…one thing for sure, laughter is guaranteed

Planes (3D) (U) Ever felt alone? Ever felt your best days had gone? Ever felt, its over? Walt Disney, after the success of Cars, present Planes…the story of the little Private Jet that could. After its owner Sir David Murray ( voiced by Bill Murray) fails to keep up payments, the flying machines fears its going to be grounded for good. Just as all seems doomed, a call goes out…someone has to reach Puerto Rico and return a £1 note to Craig Whyte ( voiced by a computer generated Marty Feldman) and allow his old owner to return to former glories…can the little jet save the day…watch and see?

Captain Phillips (12A) August 2015, a retired old professional long put out to pasture gets a call from a deep throated woman named Sally. The offer is unbelievable. Can he come and save the day? Oscar WInner Tom Hanks plays Kevin Phillips, the man called upon by The The The Rangers football clubs manager Sally McCoist (Dawn French) to save the day. After being sent into the soccer wilderness, McCoist and his extensive scouting system ( last seen in Brad Pitts movie Hunderball..actually just the Shoot Annual 2003) believes the dogged Phillips can lead his plucky team which only cost £14m and is packed full of internationalist, to actually win the East Kilbride 4th Division Sunday League, despite being up against superior outfits like ‘Old Village Dads XI’ and ‘Rolls Royce Cleaners(Part Time)’. Has the old dog still got it or should they all just be put down..please God let it be the latter!