Celtic Diary Monday August 17: Home Truths

The real reason behind the move for Shane Duffy was revealed last night in an off the record phone call to this website from our man at the ranch.

” Lennon wants to sign someone that the fucking idiot who does the diary can spell ” 

Perhaps a little unfairly, as it’s my old laptop that struggles with spelling, and not me.

One or two of you noticed that on Saturday I managed to spell all three of the forwards names wrong, and I can only be relieved that Lee Griffiths didn’t get his name in the papers as well….

It’s also the reason, we believe, that Celtic are being linked with Omar Colley of Sampdoria, as we were told

” There’s a six latter maximum now for players, as it’s causing distraction in the dressing room ”

Colley is valued at around £5m , and interestingly, Transfer Market.com lists Chris Jullien as a similar player, which will delight Kilmarnock fans probably that little bit more than those of Celtic.

As when Celtic moved for Vassilis Barkas , they were linked with Joe Hart et al, one wonders whether or not this link is being encouraged to perhaps hasten Brighton into releasing the Irish defender on favourable terms, as it’s believed that are holding out for £2m just to borrow the player for a season that looks increasingly unlikely to go ahead, which in turn will see Peter Lawwell turning his phone off and hiding the clubs debit card.

Aaron Hickey, the Hearts leftback, will make a decision on his future this week, with Celtic supposedly in the running for a player who would count as club trained in the European squad, which makes him a little more valuable to us than the other clubs who are reportedly keen, one of which is Bayern Munich, who stumbled to an 8-2 victory over Barcelona in the new look European Cup, which has made people remember why they watched football in the first place.

Whilst Hickey would certainly want to be a part of that team, it’s not certain that he’d ever break into it, though the coaching in Germany would certainly improve his game, it’s little wonder he’s taking his time to make his mind up.

Mind you, if he can play centre half…..

Anyway, Celtic are back in action tomorrow night with the first European qualifier of the season, a one off game against Icelandic champions Reykjavik.

We thought of asking Holmbert Fridjonsson, who joined Celtic from Reykjavik in 2013 for his thoughts on the club, but we don;t know where he went when he left Glasgow, so instead, we’ll copy in the thoughts of Jim Bett, who used to play for Rangers and is therefore the Scottish media’s go to guy on Icelandic football, because not only did he he score a penalty over there for Scotland about thirty years ago, he lives there now.

Or works for a frozen food chain or something.

Bett said :

“I know it’s now a one-off game which increases the anxiety a bit for Celtic but they will still be far too strong for KR Reykjavik.

“Celtic have far too much riding on the Champions League with the money involved in the advanced stages and defeat sometimes isn’t an option.

“Tuesday night falls into that category as the stakes are too high. Also you look at the gulf between the two squads and guys like Odsonne Edouard have far too much quality for Reykjavik. 

(I’ve left the original spelling in …so you can all fuck off. )

“There are going to be obvious nerves but if I was a Celtic fan I wouldn’t worry too much as they will beat Reykjavik quite comfortably.

They played last Friday night against FH and lost at home 2-1 but it was their first game in two weeks so it wasn’t ideal preparation for their trip to Glasgow.

“The Icelandic season shut down for a bit and the last round of games prior to Friday was July 30.

“Reykjavik had been playing fairly well, they’ve had a decent start to the season and losing against FH isn’t a shock as the top four teams over here are around the same standard and on their day, any side can get a result.

“They’ve played four or five times over the last two months but they’ll be short of match fitness ahead of Tuesday night. I know Celtic are just two games into their own season but they will be at a far higher level in terms of fitness.

“Reykjavik are a semi-professional side, all of the players have secondary jobs so that has an impact on how fit they are going to be.”

Hopefully, he’s right, but a lot depends on our own players and their attitude in the first “must win ” game of the season, and also on how the manager approaches the game.

Fortunately, it’s on a Tuesday night so he won’t be all bleary eyed from the previous evenings entertainment…

Celtic are also back in league action this week, as the big boys re enter the fray known as the SPL, or whatever it’s called this season.

“rangers ” have failed to take advantage of their…and Aberdeen’s forced absence, designed to help the Ibrox side secure the second Champions League spot at least, as they need the money, a film many of us have seen before and would feel a lot better about the reboot if Lawwell actually just came out and admitted he was in on it all along, and told us why.

We might not agree with him, well, we won’t agree with him, but it would at least explain his inactions and perhaps more importantly, it would release any hold the beaks at Hampden have over him….

I digress…

Celtic are at Tannadice on Saturday evening, 5.30 kick off, which means that by the time the game is over, and the players and staff have had a shower and a shite, it’ll be too late to risk breaking social distancing rules in the pub afterwards.

The Scottish government have warned that one more breach will see ther season stopped, and that explains why so far the breaches that have taken place have not been publicised or criticised.

Thats our mainstream media, they’d rather risk lives than tell tales of “rangers ” players and management out gallivanting with fans, although it’s unlikely any of those players will want to show their faces in public after their dismal draw at Livingston.

It was Christmas come early for the hordes as their annual collapse kicked in a few moths early, with new childrens character Mr Sitter, played by Ryan Kent, taking centre stage.

With expectations of their 55th title in just under a decade already dimming, the hordes weren’t slow to turn on their least succesful manager in their short history, as they remembered just how bloody useless he really is…

It was all so promising as well…… as one of their more intellectual fans looked ahead to the game with relish…

Or that notable Nostradamus nutcase, Joe Black on Twitter….

His arse must be in tatters after it was bitten sharply afterwards, prompting him to, er, revise, yet another one of his predictions….

It’s worth noting that Gerrard has signed just short of sixty players during his reign, so it;s difficult to see why siging any more would make any difference.

Other supporters have seen through the Scouse charlatan….

I like the one who says “we’ll never learn ”

He got that right, on all levels.

On a serious note, viewers heard Kris Boyd doing his post match summary on Sky, which amounted to some words, not neccesarily in the right order or context, that reflected his mood as his heroes failed to conquer one of the more establised league sides…well, more established than the plucky newcomers, who should have been praised for earning a point….

They say every picture tells a story….

In this case, it has to, as Boyd is completely incapable of forming a coherent sentence.

If you thought the media were inept after the game, have a look at this pre match prediction from the voice of alzheimers himself, Hugh Keevins, who incredibly has a radio show and a newspaper column….

As for the Ibrox club, the season, like their new exclusive range of football tops, is unravelling rather quickly…

Oh, that reminds me…the cash strapped Ibrox club have had to make one or two more redundancies, including a fellow I used to go to school with. He;s a decent chap, and he’s asked me for a favour, so if any of you know anywhere who is looking for a trophy engraver, give me a shout.

On Saturday, we had this…..

Today….