Celtic Diary Tuesday August 4: Setting The Pace

Celtic duly got their season underway on Sunday…yeah, I know, I slept in yesterday…with a convincing 5-1 over Hamilton, which cheered a lot of people up and resigned eleven football clubs to the fact that they will be just going through the motions until May.

On that showing, ten in a row will be assured on the pitch long before then, however, which means that someone , somewhere , will have to come up with a plan to halt the league without a vote if they want to stop history being made.

Even now, from an island just off the northern coast, the SFA have gathered and are working on a machine that will interfere with the weather, move tectonic plates around a bit and try to find a credit line from a bank for “rangers “, their own particular favourites.

We hear they are making progress with the first two, but the latter is proving more of a task.

The lack of atmosphere at Celtic Park on Sunday didn’t seem to affect the players, who kept their concentration at high levels and the pace of the game even higher. One pre season worry for some was that the lack of noise from the crowd would lower the tempo and have players disorientated by their surroundings, but one has to give credit to them for the way they adapted to the surreal surroundings.

Then again, it was probably a relief for some of them not to be called fat, lazy, useless or a fenian bastard. Or all four to be fair, as from personal experience that combination can be quite distressing, but I suppose most women have a pet name for their partners

The talk of the steamie post match was Oddsone Edoaurd, who scored three goals to send a message to those in the media-Mad Frankie Mac in particular-that he wasn’t disinterested and looking for a move away, as the former Celtic striker had claimed in an article that had appeared in the media.

“When I watched Edouard the other day he looked a wee bit disinterested. Like he did not want to be there.

“Maybe he is just a big game player and he is just getting the minutes in. Maybe he needs crowds.

“I would watch this space with Edouard. Everybody has a price. If somebody offers above their valuation you have got to take it.

“I have not seen enough from Edouard in pre-season.

“I know it is just pre-season but I have not seen anything that suggests that he is up for this. This is a massive season.”

The talismanic Frenchman went so far as to comment on this on Twitter, making thousands of Celtic fans swoon with sheer devotion….

Next up for Celtic are Kilmarnock next Sunday, and another resounding win will further dampen the dark hearts across the city, who haven;t had their troubles to seek already this season, with several players moving on and the real prospect that their manager might have decided he isn’t a winner in the dugout, and so a club that doesn’t expect to win anything might be a better fit for him.

Bournemouth are reported to be interested, but if a manager like Eddie Howe can;t keep them in the EPL, then they’d better start planning for the Conference league if they get Gerrard.

The much anticipated Castore kits began to arrive in various bears dens this week, and they’re not overly impressed.

Shoddy workmanship , low quality material and a distinctly unclean appearance may be fitting for the players, but the fans have higher standards…..and the complaints flew towards the sweatsheds of Merseyside….

Though there was reassurance for them from one quarter….

Or  this equally invaluable advice….

Second rate merchandise, largely because no one else was daft enough to enter into a deal with them , kind of sums them up, and although the press won’t get behind them with the campaign it deserves….no matter what, it’s shoddy work and that kind of treatment of customers annoys me immensey no matter wh0-or what-they are….because their narrative is to avoid all negative “rangers ” stories and this one would lead to criticism of the club/company and questions asked about why they didn’t get one of the major sportswear manufacturers on board, which of course would ultimately mean they’d have to tell the hordes that Mike Ashley has them over a table with their bottoms in the air.

Whilst we know all of that, they’d rather that no one shone any light over on the dark side that might reveal just how strapped for cash they really are.

They did have one piece of good news though, as their club/comapny announced that they will have a “high calibre ” line up for their Rangers TV broadcasts this season, which includes the intellectual giant that is Alex Rae….

He’ll join Neil “I know I sound stupid ” McCann in the studio, as the producers adapt to the level of their target audience.

On Saturday, we offered this for your contemplation….

Today…