Aesop got that wrong. The misfortune of certain others is what keeps me going these days.
After a week or two of moaning, there was delight yesterday among the supporters of Scotland’s newest club/company “rangers “.
Although they’ve never quite managed to make the leap into winning a major trophy themselves, they’ve latched on to Celtic as being their biggest rivals, and the news yesterday that Bet 365, the online gambling company based in Stoke, are not going to pay out on ante post football betting, that is, they’re not going to pay out if Celtic are awarded the title next week, will have cheered them immensely.
Not as much as it has pleased the Record, though. In a beautifully constructed headline, they announced…
World’s biggest bookies declare Celtic title null and void as they make decisive payout decision
Bets placed on nine-in-a-row will not be valid if the season is ended early.
Because its up to bookies who wins the title, of course, especially the biggest one in the world.
Well, they may be the biggest in the world, but they won’t be if they stiff customers the way that this story suggests.
The story, however, reflects the desire to give the dark side something to cheer about, and to take their mnd off the impending financial disaster that is hurtling towards Ibrox. It also means that the hacks don;t have to mention it yet either, and not one has mentioned the obvious dilemma down on Edmiston Drive that must be tearing apart an already shattered boardroom.
The accounts said they needed money, they haven;t got any, and there is no way they can get any. Even the shrewder amongst the directors who popped a wedge on Celtic to win the league as a form of insurance will not get paid now either, and so they are left with a difficult choice.
They have only until the league is declared over to announce an insolvency event for it to mean they lose their fifteen points this season, when it doesn;t matter, but also potentially lose any European income next season, or they can wait unti next season and give Celtic a fifteen point lead in the race to ten, which would, of course, not make it much of a race, more a sort of procession.
We await with interest a statement that announces and explains their decision, which no doubt will blame separate schools, papal intervention and Irish immigration.
You thought it was difficult to get hand sanitizer and toilet roll ?
Wait till you try to buy jelly and ice cream.
The end is near, but the Ibrox board are unable to choose between a firing squad or the more traditional gallows as they look for a way to pass into the next world….
Though I’ll wager no one chooses green peppperami for their last meal, alhough whatever it is will be washed down with a glass of bitter orange.
So, away from all that as delightful as it is, which in itself points to a national media narrative of avoidance, lets have a look at whats been going on with Celtic, who have maintained a dignified silence on everything of late.
There’s very little happening, because there is very little that can happen. Lists of players wanted are drawn up, then thrown away as they cannot be approached or watched, and everything is on hold.
Celtic will perhaps extend a few contracts, but there is little to no chance of spending money on new players when a new level of prudency has to be engaged.
Doubt over season book refunds, re-issues and even the amount available has removed one certain income stream, and even the new kit deal is on hold, although not in doubt.
Adidas will expect maximum publicity and sales when it’s launched, and as no one can put a date on that happening, there is unlikely to be an advance commission from that quarter.
Television money isn’t great, but it will have been factored into income and expenditure projections, and even the new Sky contract could be in doubt as they will want four Glasgow derbies, and there might not even be two Glasgow teams in the Premiership.
For this reason, reconstruction will be a nightmare, and chances of a sensible outcome that suits all were further damaged when Ann Budge is factored into the equation.
A fourteen team league sounds good, but unless there’s a split, it’s 52 games.
A first round of 26 before a split sounds feasible, and two groups of seven gives 38 games, but anything else means a league where the teams don’t all play the same amount of games, which kind of lacks credibility.
Oh, hang on, it’s Scottish football , so credibility probably isn’t that big an issue.
Fourteen in the Premiership is almost certain.
After that, it’s anybody’s guess, but that will depend on if we’ve got another new club/company to cater for.
If so, expect two divisions of fourteen making up the Senior league, and about fifty regional leagues below, to freshen things up, but mainly to avoid that lot having to undergo anotherย five year mission seeking out new lands and new civilisations, before pissing on their doorsteps and vomiting in their gardens.
Again.
Nine in a row will be announced soon, and had the season continued as normal, we’d probably have won it by now anyway, and have a cup final and quadruple treble to look forward to.
And they think we wanted the season to end…quite possibly the a greater rewrite of history than anything it together by Empire spin doctors….when in fact we’ve all been robbed of at least two memorable days out celebrating another landmark in this clubs great history.
Whilst the hordes are proclaiming the title is tainted or whatever,
Note one is in green, and one in orange…coincidence ?
….and the ones won when they weren’t in the league-thats all of them since 2012…don’t count, Celtic fans have overlooked our own disappointment and not really spoken about how we feel about missing out on a refreshing light ale and perhaps a singalong or two.
Mind you with the money saved we could probably all buy an extra house or two, and no doubt we’ll just get on with it.
And I suppose that will make 10 in a row the first title celebration where the club fits a defibrillator to every seat in the ground.
That reminds me…if you are out and about this weekend, watch out for this guy…and anyone he’s got to help him….
Though some of them are getting better at constructing thought provoking and interesting tweets…
Though one could argue perhaps they are right, perhaps there really is an unseen fenian hand at work….
This guy thinks there is, although admittedly the word think is used in the loosest possible meaning of the word.
Anyone would think there’s some sort of underhand dealings going on.
Underhand dealings, the very thought…
Truth is though, as one of them outlined…
On Thursday, we had this…
Auld Jesse manages to get in the bus and starts coughing up her lungs
Today… does anyone have a copy of what he wrote ?
Der Livurpul, this is steevy G. Can I hav yur mangers jub? I hav xpearience an wud hav wun de league if them ens dudnt end it urly. Deh Raingers hav no muney left to payy me so I nead a knew jub. I can brung my oan bawl. Yurs Slippy
Deer Mister Klapp, Me are a farmer employeed of Liverpoo Football Clump and me nose youse have loadsa loadsa yung plairs dat cant get in the teem. Can me borro nein or ten. Thankin youse, Steefen Jerred.
Caption………
https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/colorful-art-pastel-background-texture-picture-id700561108
winner ………………….congrats oan yesterday anaw henke yoor oan a roll even though ye made fun ae ma auntie jesses cough he he
Hahaha. You were my inspiration, I thank you.
Winner henke!!!
I must not mention my daughter is called Lourdes.
I must not mention my daughter is called Lourdes.
I must not ………….
‘Dear Papa Francesco…mission accepted’
Have to laugh. Old Captain Tom is going to go to No1 just at the very point weโll be crowned champions. Those zombies will be slitting their throats. British Army veteran winding up the deddy bears in their time of meltdown…..LOL!!
Can’t understand why the DWP hasn’t declared Captain Tom fit for work and withdrawn his benefits yet. They’re no usually this slow.
Wouldnโt put it past them.
Caption
I know there’s ink in this pen & it works, but i don’t have anything to write about winning league titles
Caption……..
Dear Captain Tom
We are in the process of raising funds for the most successful football club/company thingy in the world and we were hoping that you could join us at Ibrox. We are hoping you could do some abseiling stunts from our Govan stand and possibly join in a chorus in a song or two (sorry, Youโll never walk alone is not permitted).
Please find enclosed a one way Megabus ticket to Glasgow.
Looking forward to see you.
Yours sincerely
Stevie Slippy G.
How about:
Dear Captain Tom,
Fancy a gemme? You can’t be any worse then Andy Halliday.
The Bet 365 thing is fake news.
Bet 365 payout on any club throughout the season who manage to go 10 points clear in their league, I had ante-post bets on both Liverpool and Cove they were paid out weeks ago.
Celtic were much too short a price, to begin with to punt on but they have paid out early to those that backed Celtic as well.
its a lotta shite if yer ten points ahead they pay oot
Only bets on Celtic winning the league placed with Bet365 prior to 13/09/19 have been paid out. Any bets on Celtic placed after this date are suspended awaiting an official decision.
Yes they do pay out if we’re 10 points ahead with 3 games to go.
mimimimy corona
Have coaching certs (at last) will (desperate to) travel. Am seeking position (any position) with a club (any club) geese a job!
Caption,
‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times’
what the dickens does this mean
More like – it was the worst of times, it was the worst of times
It was simply the best of times….
Caption: Thank you Mr Gerrard but I’m afraid you failed the interview test. The correct answer to what’s got four legs, walks peculiar, talks with all the choicest words, what’s got four arms, loves to grab you
is actually Morelos and Halliday.
That fucking phone doesn’t work I’ll be made to write a statement.erm Erm Erm erm erm erm does it make any sense.
Dear Diary
I slipped up.
As a player.
As a manager.
yours
Slippy Gee
Caption: The next part of the interview is a memory test. Please list the charity shop shite sitting on the sideboard.
Craigy bhoy bought each item furra poun and invoiced it to the club/company for ยฃ4m.
Caption; “Last night I dreamt I went to Manfielderley again…”
Caption My job here will be complete when the Bhoys get to TEN.
Banter years alert:
Rangers will make further progress under new chairman Douglas Park, according to the club’s assistant manager Gary McAllister. (The National)
Erm Gary, what do you think the word progress actually means……………..
Gary ?
They’ll be able to take in on the chin(s) more.
Caption : โDear Santa…..โ
Caption:
Dear Head Person at SPFL,
How do you spell impcontinent?
Steven, Aged 39 and eight ninthโs
Weโre f****d
I read somewhere the other day that there will not be an admin points deduction. There’s something in the rules that handles admin in a force majeure such as the current predicament.
Only if it’s the force majeure that causes the administration event.
Yes, I should have added that. I think, as bad as their finances seem to be, they’d argue they would have made it through the season so no points deduction. I guess we’ll see.
Have UEFA not already announced that clubs , during this pandemic, can basically trade while insolvent for the next few months.
Unless Sevco go into Admin , no amount of bad news in their accounts will get them banned from Europe. I may be wrong…
LOL
Blink once if your being held against your will โฆ.
its a join the dots book….when your finished it reads…. Your managerial career is over
โDear Sigmund Freud,
I am writing this to draw your attention to an intriguing example of mass delusion: the conviction of those associated with Sevco that their club is the most successful football club in the world…โ
caption slippy tells king awright ile sign the contract put the gun doon
In a room full of people with King pointing a gun at you, it doesnโt mean heโs looking at you.
ha ha ha ha
CAPTION.
Here we have an example of a delusional man educated well beyond his IQ level.
Last night watching the rerun of Celtic’s 5-1 thrashing of the Huns, made me ponder on players who had a special place in a managers heart and who followed them no matter what club that they went to.
Henke, followed Wim, Lubo, followed Doctor Joe (thank you very much for bringing those players, they will always remain in our prayers). MON brought Lenny.
Big Jock remembered Ronnie Simpson and remembered Pat Stanton. Thinking about Big Jock, Paddy Crerand would never have been allowed to go to United, no way and Celtic lost out big time when Paddy left. Jimmy Johnstone would never have been allowed to leave, but others were for whatever reason. Two other players would also never be allowed to leave, even if they wanted to, but they didn’t want to, Cesar and Bobby Lennox.
Homesickness, Celtic leanings, also plays a part in a player wishing to play for the club. King Kenny left for Liverpool and we cried and cried, but nothing would change his mind once he had made his mind up.
The musing p!sh of the bored.
Its available on iPlayer until next Friday. ๐
Crerand was angling for a move and, if he didn’t go, then perhaps there would’ve been no place for Bobby Murdoch.
If it was one or the other, I’m happy it was Bobby.
Yaaay and me tae. I’m still trying to make up my mind who my favourite Lion was, one month its Tommy, next its Jinky, next its Bobby M. Cesar, Bobby L. next its ten thirty, Stevie, John, but, but but?
Loved them all and perhaps that is the best way to leave it. To always remember, One team including the manager, joined at the hip forever more. United together…
Dear Mr Desmond
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to get my managerial career off the ground. I will not let you down.
I think fondly of those days in Seville.
Caption
Is an x sufficient, as I have never learned it?
The Daily Wanker becomes more of a fan view mag for the ultra blues. Story after story denigrating Celtic, otherwise urine after urine regarding Sevco. The McAllister story is pathetic, but wait Captain Toms anex dodger, might be a para, we might get him to invest in the mighty Wankers.
Stupid stupid huns!
Caption…
Walter I took your advice , so you can carry the
can . Don’t bother next season ,I won’t be here neither will your club…
Caption: Dear Wuhan Zall FC,
Any chance of a job?Perhaps trainee manager,like the one I have to tolerate at the moment?I could bring my friend Alfredo,he’s worth millions although nobody seems to want him.Could you please supply the full PPE to cover my big riddy and Alfredo’s greeting faced coupon?…..Signed Used to be a Tim but quite like soup now….not the bat stuff though…
Caption
Dear Heavenly Father, please bless all the poor children and bring peace to their โHeartsโ at this worrying time.
Lord hear us……….
Caption:
Bread
Milk
Toilet roll (lots)
Bananas (place skins in bin immediately)
Must remember to return Silver Polish (unused)
Brasso (lots)
just watched the ETIMS twitter feed , with big gorgeous George and the wee Jay man. Bring a tear to a glass eye.
samaras was minging.
Shut up you stupid hun cunt, go & google gordon neely ya orange bastard!
your rang ya thicko
Caption Dear Dundee please vote yes.
HH SG and Lourdes
Watched the two popes on Netflix a few months ago and followed this up by watching Pope Francis documentary.
What a wonderful Holy Father we have in our church. I thought John Paul the second would have been hard to beat but Pope Francis is everything I would want as the head of my church.
Holy Witty Kind Humble and so generous with his time and wisdom. If only more world leaders would listen to what this wonderful and Holy man has to say. If you get the chance watch it even non Catholics would witness what a wonderful human being he is.
ffs
God Bless the Pope
..and the IRA!
and the Celtic!
and anutha thing, I want an inkwiree why Hamilton Pandemical were allowed to escape from a lab in Woo-hun and infected Ibrox.
David Icke ^
why?