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Rangers Salute Brave Veterans

By Jack Christopher

Rangers are proud to hold our annual Veterans Day event at Ibrox tomorrow.

4 years ago Rangers di, ende, erm something big happened and that monumental event was to claim the contracts of luminaries such as Private Steven Naismith, Corporal Allan ‘Shagger’ McGregor and Field General Steven Davis.

Tomorrow we, sorry Rangers, will be remembering those who also fought for their freedom.

Two veterans, Derek Johnstone and Andy Goram, will lead the teams out prior to kick-off against Kilmarnock and taxi drivers, Cessnock parish church plumbers and space cadets, escorted by Marti Pellow, will carry a non-EBT contract to the centre spot for the minute silence.

Doo keepers from 207 (Paisley Road West) Dookit, will fire Joey Barton (spit) via a large cannon to mark the start and his pay packet (double spit) to mark the end of the minute silence – so please be prepared for the noise!

Representatives from each of our partners, the Rangers Charity Foundation, the Rangers Foundation for Charity, the Rangers Trust Judean Peoples Front and Rangers 1872 Charity Foundation ‘Buy Your Merchandise Here’ will attend
a contract laying ceremony prior to kick off next to the statue of James Traynor.

Representatives from each of the partners and veterans are attending Ibrox tomorrow as guests of the club and we are ecstatic to welcome to the Directors Box Lieutenant Commander Kyle Lafferty, Private Jamie Ness, Major Steven Whittaker, Squadron Leader Sone Aluko and Private John ‘Sniper’ Fleck. Our partners will be represented by Archie McFarter (Rangers will never die), Russell McSporran (Going for 55) and Mark Dingbat (Rangers XXXXL).

The Rangers Charity Foundation is also hosting a can collection in aid of The Rangers Charity Foundation, which supports Charity Foundation members as they carefully consider which charities to support.

The team will also wear special commemorative contract shirts against Kilmarnock in honour of our departed heroes and the majority of these will be donated to Rangers Charity-related charities to raise further funds for our many fan led charity foundations.

Please join us in welcoming the return of those veterans to Ibrox.

God save the Queen.

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6 years ago

Left right,left right,march forward,get to the edge of the cliff AANNDD JUMP.First yin to reach the bottom is the winner.

Guid yin Hector.

Frank McGaaaarvey
6 years ago

Brilliant Hector. Absolutely knotting myself here!

6 years ago

After readin that,i went over it again in my head with my eyes closed…….blackadder eat yer heart out,nice work Hector,just imagine…….baldrick……the average sevconian.Still laughing,by the way Hector … dont post enough……get on it……………………….still laughin.

6 years ago

Laughin so hard at all that Hun hypocrisy. The rest of us do patriotism by PAYING OUR TAXES!
Well done Hector.
I’m gutted to have just learned about Kieran Tierney’s ankle injury in training. It will keep him out for two months. A big blow.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at