Celtic are Ensign Ricky!..now heres a happy Poem!

I was gonna write up a big list of rants along with the Ratings and then try and balance it with a “At the end of the day though, we move on” kinda worldly reflection, and then most of the issues had been covered in the excellent Diary comments so I thought I’d go all reflective instead with a tiny dash of ratings thrown in..

So here are some rapid Ratings:

• Goalie – Shite (3)
• Defence – Pish (3)
• Midfield – Garbage (3)
• Forwards – Chronic (3)
• Management – Rank (3)

There, that sums it up enough for that 1 game I think.

We could all go on all day about mistakes, formation, effort etc but its futile really. We went and tried new players in a new formation in the Nou Camp. We all knew the probable outcome in our hearts and sadly we hit the floor as Barca hit their comfort zone.

All we can do it hope its a harsh lesson learnt and that we can avoid such a performance, lack of planning and another strange use of resources come the rest of the games in the Campaign. One positive is that its given us all a little dash of football realism over the sweet desserts that we have been enjoying since Saturdays Sevco win which will benefit us in the long term.

As I mentioned to an angry Ralph last night on Twitter, We are the keen Kell Brook trying to inflate ourselves and step up 2 weight divisions and take on the best in GGG but a good big one almost always beats a good small one.  Kell Brook got beat by GGG but he also raised his profile into the big leagues and also boosted his bank balance and future earnings too. You don’t hear him complain as he is playing the long game which we all need to do now. (And I know we got more than a broken eye socket granted but the comparison stands.)

Another Positivity CSC way to look :

Imagine youre a sci-fi geek and the Champion League is Star Trek.  Celtic are the doomed red shirted Ensign Ricky beaming down with the main characters to the  Group of Death planet.  We are there to make up the Transporter numbers and to take the early nasty hit that prepares everyone else for the real danger ahead.

If we are lucky we might get the odd word in once in a rare episode but mostly our role is on the sidelines of the main story. Ultimately our initial pain and despair helps everyone out in the end!

See we really are the charitable club!

So lets all dust ourselves down and move on, and we can start with a welcome gift..

The Holy Poet has sent us in a cracker of a poem looking at the goals from Saturdays game…enjoy while tucking into your tapas today!

Goal by Goal – The Holy Poet

Aww fur fuck’s sake, the Thumb isnae playin’
Drapped heids were seen a’ around
But in that game against “the rangers”
Dembele took Leigh Griffiths’ crown.

We were fired up fae the beginning
Then Moussa stepped up tae the plate
A corner, a header, in aff the post
An’ oor cheers droned oot a’ their hate.

Soon efter big Moussa bombed forward
(In a game that would soon be a farce)
He stormed past the big hapless Senderos
And left the poor bloke on his arse.

One mair touch an’ their goalie came chargin’
But alas, it was always in vain
A deft outside shot fae his right fit
An’ oor cheers brought some tears an’ mair pain.

For the third, Moussa turned tae provider
A sublime pass to wee Scott Sinclair
He ran through like a ghost an’ it wis in aff the post
As though their defence wisnae there.

The fourth wis Dembele’s first hat trick
Fae a fabulous cross fae the right
The ba’ floated ower Joey Barton
Tae the young Bhoy who wore green an’ white.

He cushioned the ba’ wi’ his right fit
An’ then touched it oantae his left
Then volleyed it past their poor goalie
An’ left him an’ his team so bereft.

Four – Ane an’ the gemme isnae over
But the big clock’s tickin’ away
There urr ninety minutes tae score in
That’s jist the way oor Celtic play.

The ba’ came oot tae young Tierney
Who as usual, wis flyin’ the wing
He saw Stuart Armstrong waitin’
An’ whit magic the big man wid bring.

We a’ thought it wis ane touch too many
As he headed away fae the goal
But his cutback was utterly brilliant
Five – Ane an’ this game wis a stroll.

Well those were the goals fae The Celtic
An’ there’s plenty mair stories tae tell
Tae the Green side Parkhead is Paradise
Tae the Blue side, continuous Hell.

Take a bow a’ you wonderful players
This is how the gemme should be played
For your energy, conviction, commitment
And the passion an’ heart you displayed.

Five beautiful goals they conceded
But on their debut, “new rangers” scored one
It’s pure brilliant supporting The Celtic
But fur a new club it’s no’ that much fun.

The Holy Poet. ©