Every now and again a journalist manages to surpass themselves with an offering that is so piss poor that it makes you scratch your head and wonder exactly what is in the photographs they have of the human resources manager at the paper they’re working for. On that basis, the guy in charge of hiring and firing at the Record must lead a colourful and interesting life.
Its not just the articles themselves, its the use of language within, the synonyms and antonyms, the structure of sentences, the phraseology and so on.
You see, its a big week for Celtic, and theres a big game on. so we can expect a story that perhaps isn’t true, and is hinting at a crisis within the walls of Celtic Park, but by the time the games over on Friday morning, everyone will have forgotten about it.
” Ronny in Drugs Storm “, a thread on Celtic forum The Huddleboard poked fun at the probability, but perhaps it will be a little more subtle than that.
Michael Gannon, in the Record, tells of the love affair between the support and manager Ronny Deila, and likens it to getting spanked on the botty with a rolled up Celtic View.
I’ve yet to see a Celtic fan walking home from the paper shop with the View and singing “I’m in the mood for love ”
I don’t even want to know how he came to that conclusion, but presumably there are a number of periodicals lying scattered around his house while he tried to find exactly the feeling he was looking for.
Of course, this is an allusion to the movie “Fifty Shades Of Grey”, a soft porn flick designed for those who don’t have the bollocks to admit they know its available on the internet, or “women” , as they are more commonly referred to.
Aberdeen fans have their own ” special interest ” movie to look forward to.
The allusion is perhaps to make the writer seem a little more “hip ” and “on the ball “, so that he can continue to establish the point he is trying to make. But there is something a little worrying lurking in the text as the article attempts to explain the fans “love- in 2 with the Norwegian;
That’s the thing with Deila. It’s impossible not to fall for him. He comes out with stuff that should be cheesy and yet everyone nods along. Check this one, “If you want to be good, you need to dare to be bad’.
How groovy is that? He’s the Deila Lama.
I’m unsure quite how he managed to arrive at a comparison with one of the worlds most influential and respected religious leaders via a soft porn movie and hints of sado masochistic homo-eroticism, but then again, I’m not a fully trained journalist.
Some of his soundbites are like those naff slogans girls post on Facebook after getting dumped, ……
Right, thats plenty.
Its fucking disturbing.
Can’t they just stick to transfer specualtion and hints of a cash flow crisis ?
All this in the week where Radio One banned Madoona records, as at 56 they feel she is too old and irrelevant. At least the BBC are well known for liking them young.
Who trawls facebook looking for “naff slogans girls post” ?
The article, last words on it, I promise, begins with
Michael Gannon: Inter Milan will test
strength of Celtic fans’
growing love for Ronny Deila
and then announces, after his “unique ” way of getting there,
But let’s end this patter that the Celtic boss will be judged on these games against the Italians.
Er, he started it.
Fortunately, Italians take their football very seriously, and its perhaps by popping over there, we can get a true picture of how they view the game, something which would never occur to anyone in the MSM.
After all, this is how one of their papers reported a previous win, as posted on twitter by Lisbon Lion;
Veteran striker Rodrigo Palacio was short and to the point, speaking after his sides 4-1 win over Atalanta yesterday
“We’ve won on a tough ground today, where very few teams manage to get the three points. It’s an important win and will give us a lot of confidence. We know that all matches are difficult. We go to Glasgow now and then we’ll focus on Cagliari,”
He’s giving nothing away.
What about the manager, Roberto Mancini ?
” Today did us well to prepare ourselves in view of the Europa League. ”
There is a worry that Argentinian striker Mauro Icardi might not be available for the game in glasgow, but Mancini played it down;
” I think so ( when asked if he will play ) . We wanted to have him today, but he was not ready. ”
thats the sum total of his injury problems, everyone else is available, he claimed , and said
“ In the coming days we will work on recovery , nothing special ”
There is a story in Italy that ponders the possibility of an escape clause in Mancinis contract, should he not enjoy his time at the San Siro;
“In life you should always be able to leave when you want to,” Mancini said as he appeared on La Domenica Sportiva.
“That’s only right if you’re not feeling good or you want to change. What I’m saying is, there’s always that possibility, but there’s no clause.”
Surely that could have been covered, if only to pressure the Italians and draw attention to a possible problem in the Inter camp ?
Not exactly going to sell papers, but it would be nice if the MSM would tell us more about how they are going to prepare for the game.
But, of course, they are more interested in where they will prepare for the game;
Thats the big story. A foreign side, looking for somewhere to train before a game in Glasgow, have hired a training centre nearby. big deal, they have to train somewhere, so they might as well put a few quid into the coffers of a cash strapped first division club.
Surely a better story to dwell on would have been the one at the top of the page, where a team of officials led by the blundering willie collum ( ( ( he’ll get capital letters when he deserves them. ) made an arse of it again, and that could perhaps lead to a debate about and the eventual improvement of the standard of refereeing in Scotland ?
No. don’t be silly. This, after all is Scotland. Where the phrase “Willie collum had a nightmare ” is fast entering common usage in day to day conversation.
Collums crew missed the goal in the picture, and although it didn’t matter in the long run, Aberdeen were fairly comfortable winners, despite having this goal , and a couple of others , chalked off. They do say these things even themselves out, and one wonders if the beaks have already pencilled in March 1st as the day it does.
But thats in the future, theres the Inter game to concentrate on, and former Rangers boys club player Keith Jackson, wants to know something.
RONNY DEILA is fast approaching a fascinating juncture on this, his Celtic journey. Eight months in, we’re about to discover if he should be taken seriously or not.
Top of the league, still in both domestic cups, still in Europe. I think we can take him seriously.
Let’s be clear here, he doesn’t need to scalp Inter Milan to prove he’s the right man for the job, although it would certainly strengthen his case.
I think i’m on the point of spotting the agenda here. They don’t want Ronny to fail, but if he does, they’ll be delighted as it will prove all along that he really is the cheap alternative to a proper manager, which would sort of make up for the way the MSM felt when he got the job, and their international football knowledge was exposed for being, well, not exactly international.
The truth is should Deila secure a place in the Europa League last 16, he would be bombproof in the short to medium term. But even so his reputation hardly hinges on the outcome of this tie.
No, the Norwegian doesn’t have to land a knockout blow on Inter, all he has to do is land a couple of decent punches. Just making a genuine fight of it will be good enough.
Jackson isn’t too far away here, but he misses the point.
Most Celtic fans are happy enough with Deila, and would be happy enough with a decent peformance, but as for making him bombproof ? Thats nonsense. Deila is here to stay, win lose or draw, and I’d venture that most of us are more than a little curious to see what sort of side we’ll have a couple of years down the line, when he’s in absolute control and the policies he has implemented have had time to take root and grow.
Speaking of the boss, what does he think we need to do to beat Inter ?
“We need to be better on the ball, and that is what we are working on every day – There’s no doubt we will have to be more accurate with our passing against Inter Milan,”
Common sense, and more than anything else we will read or hear this week, that simple statement gives me , if not complete confidence, then certainly optimism.
With Celtic having a big game this week, the media will be going all out to make sure that they keep First division cloggers Second Rangers in the news, and they will also need it to be good news, so we can expect the truth to take a back seat for a while.
Cheif cheerleader Chris Jack at the Evening Times managed to get this nonsense past his editor;
The numbers are starting to add up for Rangers First
IT is all about the numbers at Rangers.
It always was. How much they borrowed, how much they never paid back. how much they can save in tax, and of course, the crucially important number 2012, which was when it all came to a head , and forced the club out of business.
Supporters have finally awoken to the idea of greater fan involvement, having their club in the hands of people who know it, understand it and care for it.
If King, Murray and Gilligan can overthrow the current regime, that would be another step in the right direction.
Er, weren’t two of them on the board of the previous club when it ? Thats not caring about it, thats neglect.
Jack has been speaking to Ricki Neill, the man behind Rangers First, an organisation which wants to raise money to help oust Mike Ashley, who curently holds the reins of power at Ibrox.
RF are now the biggest fan ownership group in the United Kingdom.
They have almost 10,000 members, 1.4million shares and are likely to use their stake of 1.7% to vote against the under-fire board at the upcoming EGM. It is those numbers that Neill can rightly take pride in and heart from.
Er, 1.7 %
Hardly makes them Kingmakers ( see what i did there ? ) , but it does show that quite a few fans have begun to see through the spin that the MSM have put on their clubs demise. Ironic really, that their cause is being backed by one of the main perpetrators of the “same club everythings going to be fine ” myth that was given such credence in the press.
Neill told the Times;
“The fear for some fan groups is that when news is bad, people jump on and want to help their club but when you start winning trophies again, the first thing they cancel is their fan memberships
I wouldn’t have thought that this would be a major concern for him this season.
“The difference with Rangers is that no other club has had to put up with what we have had to in the last few years. Our fans will be a lot more loyal.
And he’s only waiting to lock up after the game.
“Everyone talks about the 200,000 in Manchester and the millions that watched it on TV. We need them to step up and join.
Yes, I remember that,
and the tv programme.
Mind you, we have heard that Ally Mccoist, who resigned as manager at Ibrox a few moinths ago, is afraid to leave the house. He’s heard that the capain of the Italian cruise liner “Costa Concordia” has been jailed for 16 years after he left a sinking ship.
Meanwhile, there was criticism of the Diary for indulging in porr taste jokes about Aberden fans and their alleged habits, so I have to confess it did worry me a little. What if their fans took it personally ?
I decided to have a look at one of their fan sites, but fortunately, there was no mention of it.
In other news, Police Scotland have been investigating the possibility of bringing back standing areas to Scottish stadia;
Right, who is this ?
Mark Reid
mark reid
Victim’ wife denies telling Record reporter that Celtic fans beat up her husband – a headline you are unlikely to see in The Retard any time soon but true all the same.
Or the story in the daily ranker about the wee boy being ‘ bottled’ by scumbag yet unknown, an hour or so before the scum game, punctuated twice by photo galleries of RD doing the Ronny Roar at previous games.
Absolutely no baring on the story whatsoever.
Sinister? Not much!
And these are the gutter scum, keevens et al, who howl with mock horror when the shit hits the fan…literally!
Good read Ralph! It never ceases to amaze me how many (for want of a better word) journalists in the SMSM are fans of Thistle, St Mirren, Clyde, Queens Park, Kilmarnock etc. etc.
If it wasn’t for all of these billy goats in sheep clothing (don’t get excited Dons fans!) dominating the SMSM, then nobody would touch the unadulterated pish that’s constantly being fed to them by lorry loads of loyal, royal apologists keen to wipe the slate clean of decades of criminal activity & institutionalized bigotry and allow them back to impose their WATP mentality on the rest of football with impunity.
Many years ago I suggested to Bill Leckie that only supporters of wee diddy teams were given jobs as hacks in our national newspapers, and that there must be a conspiracy against the bigger teams.
He replied if that was successful people would assume those reporters were biased!
I shit you not.
Well said CJB!
“Deila is here to stay, win lose or draw, and I’d venture that most of us are more than a little curious to see what sort of side we’ll have a couple of years down the line, when he’s in absolute control and the policies he has implemented have had time to take root and grow”.
_______________________________
My view from day one of Ronny’s tenure.
We had some depressing days since the start of the season, but I felt if given time Deila would come good.
As you say, we’re not yet the finished article, but I can see the improvements since the start of August
We must stand behind Deila.
If Rangers had stood behind Paul Le Guen instead of kebab shop kick boxing champion Barry Ferguson, they might not have found themselves in their present predicament.
rangers died in 2012.
But they might not have if they held onto Paul Le Guen….
The result against inter wont change my view of RD , CANT STAN HIM OR HIS TACTICS AND WANT RID A S A P. PERHAPS HE COULD GET A JOB WITH SOME ENGLISH LOWER LEAGUE SIDE THATS ABOUT HIS LEVEL
Your pain is almost palpable.
Seek help.
‘Can’t stand him’ ?
Strange one that…..he speaks so highly of you deedheed!
I imagine the feeling is widely mutual …
What’s yer Rajers Meedja and Hungard Barearses name Deaddunderheid? Fuck off back there.
Brain Dead…indeed!….
Oh Ralph!
Of course the papers are full of pish this week, trying to amp up the pressure on Celtic, and create disharmony. Its what they do, and what they’ve always done before a big game, that’s why sensible people like me don’t buy them and come to the diary instead, where sadly for you you have to read them so you can write your diary telling us what they said.
Thought Celtic were quite good at the weekend – still gave away more chances than you d like to see but I m hopeful that when the Spring kicks in and pitches are not so heavy we might start seeing a couple of right good doings handed out. I may have underestimated GMS – some really good movement, he carries the ball very well, works back to help out the full back and his technique and touch are very good so far – a throwback to a Scottish winger of yore. Its still early days but he looks like he could be a really important player for us. Armstrong looked composed and organised in everything he did without really imposing himself on the game.
How refreshing too to see a new signing come in and be absolutely buzzing to be playing for Celtic? In the past couple of years guys like Pukki looked like some one had just woken them up from a deep sleep just before they had to step onto the park, and played as if they’d rather be back in their beds. GMS and Armstrong look genuinely excited to be wearing the hoops, which is as it should be but good to see. Griffiths too, he’s by no means the best CF we’ve had at Celtic, but he too seems genuinely excited to be there and is giving everything he has to hold onto his place, and that’s good enough for now. Its like a few boys in the team just now aren’t viewing Celtic as a stepping stone in their career, but as the pinnacle. Which is good & bad – its good obviously as they are playing with real commitment to the cause, possibly bad as in terms of quality they might not be as good as some of the guys who came in before being sold on to richer clubs.
Needed a bit of a laugh on Friday night, after a long week at work. Thank goodness BT sport were showing 2nd Rangers latest outing. They were not quite as abject as recently, with some players actually running about and tackling, but that made it even more enjoyable when Hibs scored with virtually their first attack. I said to myself then “game over” and so it proved – as soon as they went behind they fell apart. Again. Lovely 2nd goal by Hibs too, Stubbs might not be the worst shout if for whatever reason we need a new manager in the next few years, his team definitely look well coached, as opposed to 2nd Rangers who look, well, shite.
As for their fan ownership scheme, all laudable & commendable etc etc, hasn’t any one pointed out to them yet that if Lord Sir David “God save the..” King gets in, as well as his “glib & shameless” and previous director integrity issues , his stated intention is to hold another share issue, so this 1.7% they currently hold will be massively diluted and they’ll have to go & “Buy Rangers” all over again. How many times over will they have bought this shambles by the time it ends?
Deadhead, Sevco seem to be very short of fans, maybe take yourself over there, that seems to be about your level
Dear Ralph, you owe me a monitor and keyboard. Mine is currently full of tea after your Delia Lama crack.
Worse than that, I’m at work and have some serious explaining to do!
Far be it for me to try and dampen enthusiasm about Thursday’s match – of course it’s great to be looking forward to another big European night at Celtic Park with cautious optimism, rather than trepidation – but too many Celtic fans online seem to be getting a wee bit carried away, already predicting victory.
Personally, I’d be satisfied with 2 good performances – home & away – showing that Celtic has something to offer again in Europe – but anything more than that would be a (fantastic) bonus. However, for me our defense hasn’t really been properly tested since the earlier debacles against Legia, Maribor etc. and – although I think Biton has brought some stability – I’m not sure if we’re solid enough to cope with an in-form Inter attack… I hope he proves me wrong, but I’m also not convinced that Denayer (in particular) has the maturity for this level (yet).
I do think Ronny is right that holding possession will be key, but we’ll need a lot more than that if we’re to win and go into the 2nd leg with a chance of progressing.
So, by all means go into the match looking forward to seeing Celtic have a go (at the very least) – if we show the pace & flair we saw at the start in Perth we could be in for an exciting night – but let’s not suffer from … cough … sorry Ralph … premature ejaculation
I’m still laughing at the “WELLYTEXT” I thought that was so funny but also naughty.
Who cares.
Yup Mark Reid – a great wee left back!!
Gannon is a sheep can.I suppose the botty area,
is right up his street.
The Inter games are a bonus.I would say it’s 60/40 in Inter’s favour.We still lack a quality striker to lead the line in Europe.
Ronnie’s goal has got to be the Treble.Putting the sheep,back in their pen,is more important than Inter.
SPFL, allowing the bigotry to continue and know damn well if they fine the piggery that would put a strain on thier financial position….. So you are aware of thier predictament and accept you wIill help out by not imposing a fine as per the Scottish Parlaiments Act on bigotry, you are a laughing stock.
Always Celtic 1st ( bunch of spineless individuals!!!!!)
H H
Tried posting similar but the monitor appears to be e bigot tae!!!
H H
I’ve lost data as well, but it’s the future HS,
Sooooooo Funny DH67 can’t be his winning team you dislike so wonder what it is? Not Celtic minded maybe, not Irish from Norn Ireland definitely does not tick that box ,doesn’t play football the Celtic Way can’t be that his team can’t stop winning ahhhhhh!!! I give up ,enlighten me?
Ralph
Commenting late has its disadvantages. You get to hear even more incredible reports than you do in the morning. The latest is the SPFL will take no action on sectarian singing at the Leagu Cup semi final by Rangers (quoting the media not changing history) AND CELTIC fans. Do you know, I think these people are actually beginning to believe themselves. I once felt we viewed the national bigotry through Catholic tinted glasses. But now I can see with my own eyes only. INCREDIBLE! The TV show title is absolutely spot on “Only an Excuse”. Aye any excuse.
Play well and keep the heid and we just might spring a pleasant surprise on Thursday. The odds are against us winning the tie and in all honesty, I am not convinced we are anywhere near ready for the latter stages in Europe. However, with a fair wind at our backs, a bit of a freezing night and a semblance of football, we could pull off one of those surprises we have become so used to happening to us. I am in no way phased but calmly worried or worryingly calm.
The player is Mark Reid but more intriguing is the venue. I hazard a bad guess at Falkirk.
H H
Ralph
I had some fascinating bedtime reading for you but some fly b**sa pinched it.
H H
DAILY RECORD EXCLUSIVE
Celtic players caught beating up disalbled kids and pensioners, while singing the Ibrox Disaster Song and guiding the Luftwaffe to Clydebank. By Hugh Flanders
Use our cut-out template letter to write to your MP about State Aid and how much you despise Timmy. By Keith Jingle Jangle
Tomorrow, how everything thats wrong in the world is caused by Catholic schools in Scotland.
Doc
Now I can go to bed and dream. Great stuff.
H H