The Daily Star were the first to break the story, a newspaper where the horoscopes are often the most accurate piece of reporting, and nearly everyone else has picked up on it.

Try telling one of your pals a story. By the time it gets back to you, after circulating for a few days, you will have a tale they will swear is true. Thats the concept behind the mainstream Scottish media.

According to the Star. Federico Macheda, on loan at Birmingham from Manchester United, is wanted by Celtic and Third division winners Second Rangers. A mischievous hack also had it confirmed by the agent who broke the news that Third Lanark, Gretna and Renton were also interested. But he was told to stop it, because it wasn’t funny.

The Star  blazes the headline;

CONFIRMED: Celtic and

Rangers to battle for Man Utd

misfit Federico Macheda

Helpfully, they add a picture for those of us who have never heard of him;

Still none the wiser ? No, nor me. Then his agent, who presumably knows even less about Scottish football than Keith Jackson, said;

“Federico has had some interest from Italian clubs, but he would prefer to continue his career abroad and is looking for someone who believes in him.

“In addition to the possibility of him staying in the English game, Rangers are very determined, but Celtic are especially so.”

“At the end of the season his loan to Birmingham expires and he is a free agent.

“The Red Devils have not talked about a contract renewal.

“The departure of Sir Alex Ferguson ended Federico’s adventure at United.”

Although he is a free agent, he will require a signing on fee and wages, which automatically rules out the Ibrox club.

Come to think of it, it probably rules Celtic out as well.

The Records Craig Swan picked up on the story, when if its transfer speculation he wanted, he could have looked a little harder.

And STV, who have a marketing arrangement with a well loved Glasgow club went with;

federico-macheda-in-frame-as-mccoist-eyes-signings-1-3348186

Celtic watched Benfica again last night, and again its rumoured that Filip Djuricic was the target. I hope not. I have to keep checking the spelling.

Celtic , believe it or not, can compete at a more than decent level where wages are concerned, discounting the vastly inflated EPL, and despite what the doomsayers tell us, and anyone who prefers lower to midtable obscurity there isn’t ambitious enough for Celtic anyway.

Is Djuricic the last piece of the jigsaw ? We have the industry in Brown and Johansen, we have the brains of the operation with Bitton-we just need the creativity…

We do seem to be watching a lot of Benfica, and it won’t be in case we draw them again next season.

Supporters in the South Stand may find a reduction in their season books next year as they could be downgraded to restricted view. With the Commonwealth Games due to start soon, ( hooray, can’t wait ) the organisers are installing  a great big television screen in front of the stand , which will show those in the stadium who can’t see it properly, the entire opening ceremony.

Head of ceremonies David Zolkwer said: “The building of a screen of this scale – running the entire length of Celtic Park’s south stand – is going to add a really audacious dimension to Glasgow 2014’s opening ceremony.

“Both through sheer spectacle and as a wonderful story-telling device, our goal is for the screen to be a wow factor – a fantastic augmentation to the story we are telling our live audience in the stadium and the many hundreds of millions of people watching on television around the world.”

Except for those sitting behind it, presumably. Still, they will still see more of it than I will.

Incidentally, Hampden has , as you probably know, had a bit of work done on it as well. Apparently, the surface has been raised almost two metres on a bed of metal stilts to accommodate a running track and athletics field.

Meanwhile, the foodbanks application for a big shelter to keep the rain off while families queue for something to eat has been rejected as too expensive.

Lets hope that Tony Watt doesn’t read FootballFancast.com

CLICK ON TONY WATT TO SEE THE SIX CELTIC PLAYERS SET TO BE AXED THIS SUMMER

( Er, or this article )

Anyway, the writer names six for the “scrapheap” and while it is fairly easy to suggest that Kayal, Boerrigter, Balde and Pukki would be among that number, Watt probably shouldn’t, and then theres this…

LUSTIG

Lustig finally underwent surgery on a persistent hip injury this season, a niggle that had been a long-term concern for the Swedish right back. Celtic will be pleased to have the 27 year old back and fit to play, but given the meteoric rise of young star Darnell Fisher it could well be time to cash in on the injury prone Swede. Celtic have managed well without Lustig at the back, and Lennon may well be tempted to move the defender on when the transfer window opens once more.

Not only ridiculous, but theres a suspicion that the writer doesn’t actually watch Celtic, largely because he fails to mention Adam Matthews, but mostly because he doesn’t appear to know the Swedes first name.

Still, it gets the  site hits , and helps to please the advertisers.

Which is why , incidentally Etims remains completely ad-free…..

( well, that and the fact no-one wants to advertise here. )

There is an outside chance that Celtic can clinch the title next week at Firhill, home of Partick Thistle, and although there are still tickets on sale, they are for the Partick end, so under no circumstances should you get in touch with their ticket office and buy any tickets, which are £25 for adults and £5 for kids.

Politics now, and the Labour Party in Scotland ( yes, there is one. Its headquarters and decision making section is in London, though. ) have pledged to repeal the controversial and ineffective Offensive Behaviour Act.

Labour deputy leader Anas Sarwar explained: “The decision to impose [the act] despite the legislation being opposed by every opposition party and leading anti-sectarianism charities, has damaged much of the progress.

“It has proved to be an ineffective and unpopular law, not least because sectarianism runs far beyond our touchlines and terraces. We will never underestimate the effects of sectarianism and indeed will give it a renewed focus.

“That’s why the next Labour Scottish government will repeal the act, review the existing framework and, working with others, ensure that the police get the support they need, and the well-meaning majority of football fans are respected, so creating confidence in knowing the government is focused on education and prevention, not politics.”

He didn’t clarify whether that would be an independent Scottish Labour government, or the current one, which governs Scotland except for the important bits.

Thats because he didn’t want attention being drawn to the fact that his party doesn’t want an independent Scotland, probably because they would win an election and then we would have the better together campaigners telling us that they told us so….

Effectively, the Labour guy is blowing smoke up our bottoms. Like they all do.

The controversy over Scottish Cup semi final ticket allocation was back in the news yesterday, with Second Rangers manager, major shareholder,biggest earner PR man and all round good guy Ally McCoist has spoken out after Dundee Utd chief Stephen Thompson said his fans had fears for their safety travelling down to Ibrox.

The Daily Record takes up the story;

( Craig Swan, again. Keith Jackson is still trying to work out how to use his twitter account )

McCOIST vented his fury after Arab Trust chairman Steven Hughes said United fans are “nervous from a safety perspective” about travelling to Govan for the semi-final.

Grrrrr 

The Rangers manager is miffed at comments from Tannadice supporters’ groups made during a stormy build-up to the tie on Saturday, April 12.

Oooohhh. He’s miffed… not exactly “venting his fury”

Arab Trust chairman Steven Hughes has said that some United fans are “nervous from a safety perspective” about travelling to Govan for the game, which has been shrouded in arguments this week between United and SFA chiefs over ticket allocations and venue choice.

Really ? Why would he be worried about the safety of his supporters leaving Ibrox after hammering the locals by four or five goals ?

McCoist, however, is adamant there is no reason for fan worries and said: “I’d be hopeful that was taken a wee bit out of context. Certainly in this day and age, the one thing you expect is any travelling supporter of any club going to any game would like to sit down and watch it in comfort and safety.

Unless they turn the telly off. Or we get beat.

“I would hope that is just about guaranteed in all the stadiums in the country and ours is no different. You want a fantastic atmosphere to create a good tempo and good quality of game.

Its pretty much guaranteed in any stadium not featuring any incarnation of Rangers.

“Cup ties do generate a better atmosphere generally and I would hope that would be the case against United.”

Right up until they score.

United chairman Stephen Thompson has called a truce with the SFA over his war of words and McCoist said that there is no bad blood between the clubs.

He added: “I don’t have any animosity. It’s something that, if it is there, I don’t see it as being a major problem at all.

Eh ?

“They would look at it as if they are only fighting their corner, which is fine. With the greatest of respect, their fight is not against us.

And there is another example of the many faces of Ally McCoist. This time its the sleekit one, as he absolves himself from all responsibility. After the game, when the Tannadice side run up a cricket score, any trouble will be blamed on the decsion to hold it at Ibrox, which , of course, was not made by him….  

“The game will be against us but the problem they have is with tickets and the venue and we are not in control of that, so their fight isn’t with us.

See ?  I didn’t choose Ibrox…….

“I can totally understand some of the points put up. I do take on board we are playing a semi-final at Ibrox and that is not to everyone’s cup of tea but the decision to play the game there was taken very early on.

As soon as they could, in fact.

“I think the obvious thing to do is to stick by it.

We need the money.

“At the start of the season, we’d have played a semi-final anywhere. It will only be an advantage if we win the game.

He obviously hasn’t considered what will happen when they lose….

“In the grand scheme of things in the last two years, it’s a very, very small issue.

Its actually the biggest game in the new clubs history.

“I know there was an issue in the cup last year with our travelling fans but I think we, as a club and a team, have got far bigger things to worry about than having a mump and a moan with individual clubs.”

Theres an issue every year in every cup in every city they go to with your travelling fans. What could those bigger things he has to worry about be ? 

Oh aye, its nearly payday again….

Theres a very good, nay excellent ,  article by James Forrest on the many faces of McCoist. Its on the Etims facebook page ( top of the home page for a link ), and if you haven’t read it yet, you should.

Its the piece the MSM didn’t dare to print.

Willie Maley was engaged in conversation with King George-well, one of them anyway, as the brave King was about to set sail for Canada shortly before  the outbreak of War.

Still, before he went he created a lot of important jobs in the Shipyards of Govan, and the Celtic manager was asking him why it was neccessary to include the name of your school on the application forms.

Right, whats missing from this picture ?

Is it

a) a microphone

b) a toothbrush

c) a cock ?

Sorry, thats completely out of order. Allow me an apology and a correction;

c) another cock ?